54 40 or gently caress posted:

Hi can we please not post those stories. They aren't depressing they're just totally disgusting and it means there are real children being exploited and that isn't fun or funny to read about

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Hi can we please not post those stories. They aren't depressing they're just totally disgusting and it means there are real children being exploited and that isn't fun or funny to read about

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Hairy dudes are gross, she should totally ask him to keep shaving it all off

Pick posted:

Hair is nice on a guy

I like crazy amounts of body hair way more than beards. The beard would be much more of a turn off for me

Pick posted:

Hair is nice on a guy

I like crazy amounts of body hair way more than beards. The beard would be much more of a turn off for me

quote:

I [30M] made a huge mistake with my GF [24F] and lost everything. Help.

I'll try and keep it short and I'll admit that I made a mistake and was very wrong in what I did, but please don't act like you're all saints who have never done anything wrong and I'm the devil for doing what I did.
I cheated on my girlfriend. We've been together for 8 years, and four months ago I started a sexual relationship with a coworker. It happened, and it wasn't supposed to happen again but it did and when I came to, I was already in deep poo poo.

I broke things off with my coworker two weeks ago, and never told my GF and wasn't planning to. I know you all hate me right now, but I love my girlfriend, I really do.
The thing is, a week ago I was working late, and my girlfried kept sending me cute text messages. The last one she sent me was: "When you get home, go directly to the bedroom. I'll be waiting with a surprise."

I felt sick then because I realized how stupid I'd been and how I almost threw away something this good for some cheap, easy sex. I was ready and still am to be the perfect boyfriend for the rest of my life.

Except when I came back and went into our bedroom, she wasn't there, but she had stuck photos upon photos of me and my coworker making out in the parking lot of my work building. I don't know how she got them, I dont know if she followed me, hired someone and some other coworker told on me.

I panicked and tried calling her, but her phone was off. Then I realized all of her things were gone. Clothes and other personal belongings. I got desperate, tried calling her friends, parents, anyone I could think of but all of them refused to talk to me.

I don't know where she is. I need to talk to her, I'm worried, I want to apologize, I want to beg for her forgiveness, I want to win her back. She's the love of my life and I messed up real bad. Please, help me find a way to contact her again, to mke this right. What would you guys do in my situation? I can't tell this to anyone in real life, please, hep me.

I know I made a huge and disgusting mistake, but she didn't need to vanish like this. I'm sick to my stomach with worry.
tl;dr: Cheated and I regret it. Don't want it to be too late to make it right.

quote:

My[28m] fwb's[28f] younger sister[23f] has been flirting with me over social media. I would love to date her but I don't know how to.Relationships
submitted 2 hours ago by uoja

I have been friends with benefits with Kara for 5 months. We have known each other before for a year. I use the term friends with benefits because I don't know how to exactly describe our friendship. She isn't part of my group of friends I regularly do stuff with. But we still do stuff together time to time.

Recently she invited me to her birthday party and I met her sister Ashley there. I could tell she was pretty into me. Then afterwards she ended up following me on Instagram and started liking my pictures and commenting on them. And she even messaged me directly asking for my phone number.

I find myself really attracted to Ashley, and I know I just met her once, but I feel like she is someone I could definitely see myself having a relationship with. But I don't know what to do. Do I ask Kara for approval? Do I end things with Kara, and then ask out Ashley? I know its a hornets nest here so I am posting for advice.

Tl;Dr- I want to ask my friends with benefits sister out for a date.

quote:

Me [25 F] with my SO [25 M] 3 years - What do you guys think about your SO masturbating?Relationships
submitted 21 hours ago by overseas-euphoric

My SO and I have been together three years. So I get most people masturbate, but my SO acts like he doesn't like jerking off, but I've caught him doing it multiple times. It leads to a bunch of (probably avoidable) arguments and I end up getting more angry than I probably should. I wouldn't have an issue if we just actually talked about it and he didn't just try and deny it because I would tell him and have told him when I have. I usually only do when we're away from each other for long periods of time, while he'll do it when I'm out of the house for a few hours. I know it shouldn't be a problem to have "envy of his hand" but I can't help but end up feeling a blend of upset and annoyed because we'll have sex in the morning and then he'll masturbate a few hours later.

Just wanted to see how everyone perceives masturbating in a relationship. If you're against it, are there certain situations where you disagree with it, or do you always disagree with it? If you're for it, do you have specific circumstances too?

I've been trying to accept it and be OK with it for a while now. I guess I just needed some feedback from some people on learning how to stop caring about it since it's pretty annoying that I do care!

tl;dr: What do you think about your SO masturbating and being dishonest about it?

La Brea Carpet posted:

1.) Dude is a shithead and the chick is awesome
2.) Do the math on when they started dating....

quote:

Boyfriend makes me sleep on couchRelationships
submitted 14 hours ago * by Rn1968

I currently live with my boyfriend in his apartment. I don't pay rent due to recently graduating but take care of all the chores and shopping for the apt. It actually becomes way more beneficial for him for me to live there b/c I essentially take care of everything that he otherwise would not have time to do. On more than one occasion when he gets mad at me he puts me on the couch. Does this seem fair?

I tried discussing this with him and even told him if this happens again I will not be staying at his place and yet he did it again.

For context, we are in our early 20's and have been together for 7 yrs since high school. He is super successful for his age and I'm just starting to build me career.

Help? :/

Tl;dr: bf makes me sleep on the couch after a fight
(I have a full time job as well but most of my money goes to paying off school loans-something he doesn't have to do)

quote:

My friend (31M) of 3 yrs got bait and switched by his wife of 6 months. He's hurting and upset, understandably. But he freaked out on me (29F) because I can't fix his life. Argument got personal fast. Forgive or move on?[new]
submitted 26 minutes ago by FriendFreakedTFOut

My friend, who we'll call Adam, married Eve 6 months ago. They had been together for about a year, which is a little fast but not ridiculous, IMHO. Well, she turned out to be batshit crazy. She just hid it really well until the wedding, and then everything went pear shaped. She refused to sleep with him, in either the physical or biblical sense, was hiding a massive drinking problem, and was emotionally and borderline physically abusive.

He left and got an annulment, because the marriage was never consummated. He moved into a friends spare room and is pretty messed up about things because he quit a good job to move with her after the wedding, sold all his furniture, it's a mess.

I've been through something similar myself, and it's probably one of the worst things I've ever been through. So, I relate to his feelings.

Adam and I have known each other about 3 years. We have always been completely platonic, while I adore him as a friend, I'm not at all attracted to him or interested in dating him. He's never expressed interest in me.

Adam asked me if I thought it was something he did, why his wife turned abusive and such. I guess he was also engaged and had just broken that engagement shortly before I met him.

I said maybe, but I had no idea how he behaved in romantic interactions because I've never been in that situation with him. How maybe he had done nothing wrong, he was just unlucky enough to find 2 people who wore masks until he committed, and then showed their true selves. That the best advice I could give would be to objectively look at the relationships from the outside. See what changed and when, see if there were patterns, be honest if HE had changed or done something like rush in too soon, or changed his expectations, and go from there. That either way therapy couldn't hurt, even just a few sessions to find a jumping off point.

You guys, he freaked the gently caress out. Started SCREAMING at me that was the same cop out answer that all his female friends had given him, all he wanted was a roadmap of where he might be going wrong so he could work on it, and nobody would be honest with him. That women are socialized not to hurt men's feelings, and that comes at the price of honesty.

I replied that the answer I gave WAS honest, that I have absolutely no idea how he interacts with romantic partners, what his patterns might be, what his expectations are in the relationship because we have never had that dynamic. Asking me why is the same as asking me why I didn't hire him. Maybe because I'm not a prospective employer? Or why I don't go to him for dental care. Because he's not a dentist? I have just as much idea what kind of BF he is as I have an idea what kind of dentist he is. That he needs to calm the gently caress down and either think about himself, or talk to a professional.

Then he got personal. Called me a loving hypocrite because I couldn't do the very thing I was telling him to do (What???), asked if I even listened to myself because I wasn't listening to him, that I had an answer, I just wasn't saying what it was, that if it was something with his appearance I should just tell him, that I was only interested in preserving my intellectual argument and not in helping someone I claimed was a friend, and that I was being selfish.

I finally said well, here we might have it. That you want other people to fix you and when they can't, you attack them personally. That he's free to challenge or disagee with me, but I will NOT be attacked, called names, insulted, called a liar, told that I don't know my own thoughts and opinions, and that the reason is because I was afraid of his male ego.

That none of this was ok, and I was leaving, that I was feeling undermined and emotionally unsafe, and I didn't want to continue the conversation or the friendship. I wished him well and left,

About 2 weeks goes by. He texts me and tries to explain he was just in a bad place, that he wanted some sort of reason why he threw his life away for a fake person, how it could happen, how there had to be something wrong with something he was doing. That he was just frustrated with the situation and handled it badly.

I'm not sure how or if I should respond. People make mistakes, and aren't always "themselves" when they're emotional. I realize that. It's just the speed at which he went from "frustrated and hurting" to "personal attack" made my head spin, and makes me wonder if this is how he's felt about me all along. We haven't really had a major conflict before, but THIS is what happens when we do? He just unloads on me because I'm not the Oracle Of Why His Relationships Fail?

And his apology was kind of a non apology. There was nothing that really said "I know this was wrong", just more excuses why it happened.

Should I talk to him, or just say thanks but no thanks, I can't risk being spoken to like that again?

tl;dr Friend with relationship issues got very personal and called me names when I couldn't offer insight to his situation. Later offered a non apology. Should I hear him out, or just ignore it?

WrenP-Complete posted:

La Brea Carpet posted:

1.) Dude is a shithead and the chick is awesome
2.) Do the math on when they started dating....

La Brea Carpet posted:

1.) Dude is a shithead and the chick is awesome
2.) Do the math on when they started dating....

Pick posted:

She is the coolest, and I hope every single person in the comments agrees

quote:

[–]babydaynger [score hidden] 27 minutes ago
So... you started a sexual relationship with a coworker FOUR MONTHS ago...but it was "just a mistake."
Your post is riddled with phrases that try and minimize what you did, claim that "all people make mistakes," etc. etc.
You would've continued cheating had you not gotten caught. This was not a one-time affair. You had a continuous sexual relationship for months with a person you work with and spend hours with.
Leave her alone. You've done enough. It's not your place to try and win her back.
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[–]messeduphelpplease[S] [score hidden] 22 minutes ago
Also, if you bothered to read the post, you'd see the part where I broke up before 'getting caught'. She found out about it on her own. I realized I'd done something wrong and ended it.
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[–]babydaynger [score hidden] 20 minutes ago
Congratulations, you broke it off 2 weeks before getting caught, at a time when she probably already knew what was happening.
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[–]messeduphelpplease[S] [score hidden] 19 minutes ago
Yes, that's all in the post. Did you even read it?
You were saying I would've continued with the affair, but I wasn't. I ended it, and I regret every bit of that affair.
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[–]babydaynger [score hidden] 15 minutes ago
Yes I read it. That's why I referenced a detail in your post.
I don't believe you wouldn't have gone back for the "easy sex" you had with your coworker. You don't seem remorseful at all about what you did. You just seem panicked that your girlfriend found out and left you.
You also say in your post you NEVER WOULD HAVE TOLD YOUR GIRLFRIEND ABOUT IT.
I broke things off with my coworker two weeks ago, and never told my GF and wasn't planning to.
True remorse is owning up to your actions, apologizing deeply for them, and not waiting to bury them under the sand and hope your partner never finds out. True remorse isn't about being deceptive and lying to the "love of your life" so they can live a lie.
If you really loved your girlfriend you would've had the balls to tell her yourself, tell her you would do anything to make the situation better (quit your job and find a new job, earn back her trust, etc.), and not hoped she'd never find out.
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[–]messeduphelpplease[S] [score hidden] 25 minutes ago
It wasn't every day, it meant poo poo. It was just easy sex. It was a mistake.
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[–]babydaynger [score hidden] 22 minutes ago
Lol. Your defense was that it wasn't EVERYDAY of 4 months?
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[–]messeduphelpplease[S] [score hidden] 20 minutes ago
Yes, and that I ended it before getting caught, except by then my GF had found out about it on her own.
The affair meant nothing, it just got out of control.
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[–]Okuu-Trollzy [score hidden] 18 minutes ago
"Meant nothing"
Except, you know, destroying everything she knew about love and trust.
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La Brea Carpet posted:

quote:

I dropped my husband's favorite coffee mug and broke the handle. That was a mistake. Cheating is not a mistake. It's a planned for,mom deception. Your partner is a bright woman with self worth and deserves better than POS who minimizes the blatantly lovely things he has done.

quote:

I know I made a huge and disgusting mistake, but she didn't need to vanish like this.

She did need to vanish like this. It's what she wanted.
You realize it isn't up to you how she ends her relationship with you, don't you? She wanted to end it with a sharp clean break. Probably didn't want to hear your excuses and apologies.

I'm sick to my stomach with worry.
Stop worrying. Her friends and family are helping her get through this.

quote:

"Too late" was one second after you put your penis in a different girl's vagina. Then you proceeded to continue doing so for 120 days. She's not the dumb, naive little 16 year old you first stated dating. She's outgrown you.
You hosed up. There are consequences for your actions. There's no magic undo button. If she has half a brain, she'll never talk to you again. Be a better person next time. Don't turn into a creep ex stalker. Your post is full of excuses, justifications and little pity parties for yourself.

Pick posted:

"Too late" was one second after you put your penis in a different girl's vagina. Then you proceeded to continue doing so for 120 days. She's not the dumb, naive little 16 year old you first stated dating. She's outgrown you.
You hosed up. There are consequences for your actions. There's no magic undo button. If she has half a brain, she'll never talk to you again. Be a better person next time. Don't turn into a creep ex stalker. Your post is full of excuses, justifications and little pity parties for yourself.

Groovelord Neato posted:

how the gently caress does a 22 year old even meet a 16 year old to date.

VanSandman posted:

Is it because hairy things are easier to taxiderm

WrenP-Complete posted:

Groovelord Neato posted:

how the gently caress does a 22 year old even meet a 16 year old to date.

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

Sneak into teen night at the bowling alley, probably. It's why Bowling World near me got so strict on it.

Pick posted:

Hair is nice on a guy

I like crazy amounts of body hair way more than beards. The beard would be much more of a turn off for me

quote:

I [30M] made a huge mistake with my GF [24F] and lost everything. Help.

I'll try and keep it short and I'll admit that I made a mistake and was very wrong in what I did, but please don't act like you're all saints who have never done anything wrong and I'm the devil for doing what I did.

I cheated on my girlfriend. We've been together for 8 years, and four months ago I started a sexual relationship with a coworker. It happened, and it wasn't supposed to happen again but it did and when I came to, I was already in deep poo poo.

I broke things off with my coworker two weeks ago, and never told my GF and wasn't planning to. I know you all hate me right now, but I love my girlfriend, I really do.

The thing is, a week ago I was working late, and my girlfried kept sending me cute text messages. The last one she sent me was: "When you get home, go directly to the bedroom. I'll be waiting with a surprise."

I felt sick then because I realized how stupid I'd been and how I almost threw away something this good for some cheap, easy sex. I was ready and still am to be the perfect boyfriend for the rest of my life.

Except when I came back and went into our bedroom, she wasn't there, but she had stuck photos upon photos of me and my coworker making out in the parking lot of my work building. I don't know how she got them, I dont know if she followed me, hired someone and some other coworker told on me.

I panicked and tried calling her, but her phone was off. Then I realized all of her things were gone. Clothes and other personal belongings. I got desperate, tried calling her friends, parents, anyone I could think of but all of them refused to talk to me.

I don't know where she is. I need to talk to her, I'm worried, I want to apologize, I want to beg for her forgiveness, I want to win her back. She's the love of my life and I messed up real bad. Please, help me find a way to contact her again, to mke this right. What would you guys do in my situation? I can't tell this to anyone in real life, please, hep me.

I know I made a huge and disgusting mistake, but she didn't need to vanish like this. I'm sick to my stomach with worry.

tl;dr: Cheated and I regret it. Don't want it to be too late to make it right.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

We know, Nuebot. We know he got owned.

quote:

How to cope with a forced breakup [20 F and 20 M]

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months exactly today. However, I have been forced to make the choice to breakup with him due to my parents.

To sum it up the best way possible I can is, an incident occurred. The incident was that my parents, whom I still live with walked in on us having sex. My parents are pretty strict and have never adapted to change well, especially my mother. However, due to my boyfriend's mother always being home we were kind of forced to be intimate else where. Knowing that my parents are strict and such, we have always been very careful when we have sex at my house and we'd jump at every noise that is made however, that was not the case when my father unexpectedly came home. My father told my boyfriend to put on his clothes and get out and that's what he proceeded to do. All of the consequences have been forced upon me and meanwhile his mother and stepfather have no clue. My parents threatened (and still actively do) to go tell his family, but have yet to.

So after all the arguments died down (it's been 4 days of it) they essentially left me no choice but to end my relationship. Meanwhile, we're still very much in love. My question is, how do I cope? How do we cope? If you were in this situation, how would you have handled it? And hell, if there is anyone out there who has been through this how did things turn out?

tl;dr: My father caught me and my boyfriend having sex and due to that my parents have forced me to breakup with him. How do I cope? Do you have any advice?

54 40 or gently caress posted:

We know, Nuebot. We know he got owned.

Nuebot posted:

the one post I managed to miss.

Here's one that made me laugh to make up for it.

My parents are forcing me, an adult, to break up with my boyfriend, also an adult!

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

You can hardly blame someone for seeing that one and immediately posting it. It's loving great.

OP posted:

Ran into a cop car (self.legaladvice)

Happened last night, I ran into the back of a cop car after a few beers in North Carolina. The cop stopped in the middle of the road to make a U-turn without using a signal and without turning on his lights. He claims that I was driving too close and that I was driving under the influence. I know the first thing I should do is get a lawyer but is there anything else I can do?

quote:

You drove drunk and you have the nerve to try and lay blame on the cop?

OP posted:

I was behind the wheel so I understand that I completely made the mistake of driving. But, for any person who stops dead in their tracks when driving it's almost impossible to get out of their way. He was making a turn so I slowed down, but he stopped moving all together while his tail was still in the road. I'm not blaming a cop as much as I'm blaming a lovely driver who happened to be a cop.

quote:

Easily preventable by not following too close and by making sure your reaction time and overall mental ability aren't compromised by not being under the influence. You should have the ability and time to react accordingly to even an unpredictable event like the cop caused. It's still entirely your fault and you're being incredibly narcissistic by not taking entire ownership of the situation.

OP posted:

I'm not arguing that I'm not at fault. But it's also bullshit to say that I'm entirely my fault. I wasn't following him cosely and I slowed down so he could make his turn. He made a turn with no signal. He slowed down to a complete stop without warning and within seconds while having ample time to turn while still in the road. I can competently say that I would have been in the same situation with absolute mental clarity. He also stated that it hadn't been his first accident. What I am asking isn't absolution, it's suggestions to what I can do.

Themata posted:

My concern when posting content (in general) is that someone will have already posted it and if I don't scan at least 10 pages worth of thread before doing so, I'll get laughed at for making such an obvious repost and look like a total fool.

quote:

Me [22 F] and my boyfriend [21M] want to move in together. His parents [53F, 59M] say no, and we don't know why

My boyfriend and I have known each other for three years, and have been dating for a year and a half. We were long distance all those years, and I finally moved 4 weeks ago across the country to him.

The original plan was for me to move in with his sister [29 F] and brother-in-law [30 M] while he finishes this semester of school. However, my situation has been pretty bad. His BIL is extremely demanding and controlling, not really letting me do my own thing, but treating me more as if I'm his child. I have a two-hour commute to work EACH WAY. It's been hard to adjust to.

Yesterday we talked to his parents about the possibility of me moving in a little sooner, since this situation has been so bad. They told me it was disrespectful to even ask, and that they thought I'd be more respectful since they've given me so much. They said they felt taken advantage of. They said that yes, my boyfriend and I are adults, but if we could just wait to move in for them, it would be worth all the things they've done for my boyfriend and I. They said my boyfriend wouldn't be able to concentrate on school or be his own person if I was living with him- that I'd just do everything and he wouldn't learn to live on his own.

Then, the worst part is when my boyfriend and his mom went into a separate room, she went into "guilt-mode" and told him how disappointed she'd be in him, and how she's done so much for him and he hasn't done much in return for her. Basically made him feel terrible for wanting to move me in a few months early.

I don't know what to do. The guilt is killing me. I'd hate to disappoint his parents, because they have done so much for us. I can't tell whether to bite the bullet and just deal with my situation for these next few months, or if my boyfriend's parents ARE being ridiculous, and we should do what we want to do. And if we do move in, how do I break it to them that we AREN'T trying to disrespect their wishes, we just want an easier situation for us.

I mean, I moved across the country to be with him. We want to be together forever. I just don't understand their side.

TL;DR: BF and I were planning on moving in together in May. Plans changed, but now his parents are making us feel like poo poo for wanting to push the moving date up.

EDIT: I also feel it's important to mention how controlling his parents have been his whole life. They've basically told him what to do, and when to do it, and he has obeyed (join this club, apply for this school, study this...). I think that's partly why this is so hard for them - it's the first time he's wanted to do something against their "ideal path" for him.

EDIT 2 FOR CLARIFICATION: No, I've never asked or expected his BIL to drive me to work, just complained one morning that the commute was brutal. No, we didn't necessarily "ask permission" for his parents, just want them to be okay with it, and we don't understand why they aren't. ALSO, his mom is kinda traumatized from my BF's sister, whom I now live with, because she ran away with her boyfriend of a month, and he ended up being a douche.