Gerblyn posted:

I'm not disagreeing with you here, I'm just raising the possibility that there might be some explanation behind why the guy is acting the way he is. She stayed with him for 5 years, he must have had redeeming features at some point in the past but something changed and I was just speculating as to what.

Gaunab posted:

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Additionally as a Charitable Dude I would have had good charities in mind during the Cheap Gibe™ phase of the conversation.

Gaunab posted:

Barudak posted:

Gonna give some props, cheating during a party while family is there is incredibly bold if nothing else.

Mirthless posted:

yeah imo it says "looking for the thrill of spicy, risky sex" which is the kind of thing you do with somebody when regular loving isn't cutting it for you anymore

how many times do you think she's cheated on this guy in 9 years of marriage? i figure it's gotta be a whole bunch, right?

Mirthless posted:

c. He hadn't tried to dictate to his girlfriend what pets she could have in the house that belongs to her

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

This was posted in the reddit thread and I kinda hate it. No, the name on the deed is not a trump card as far as home decision-making is concerned. It may be only her house but it's certainly his home as well. She should obviously get veto power to changes to the property but come on, pets are things you talk about and decide on with the other members of your shared household. It's extra true with pets (compared to say, furniture, which is still something your partner/roommates get a say in) because a pet in the home necessarily conveys some amount of responsibility to all members of the household.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

This was posted in the reddit thread and I kinda hate it. No, the name on the deed is not a trump card as far as home decision-making is concerned. It may be only her house but it's certainly his home as well. She should obviously get veto power to changes to the property but come on, pets are things you talk about and decide on with the other members of your shared household. It's extra true with pets (compared to say, furniture, which is still something your partner/roommates get a say in) because a pet in the home necessarily conveys some amount of responsibility to all members of the household.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

if it was a dog or something yeah sure but a tree frog is basically a vertebrate houseplant

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

if it was a dog or something yeah sure but a tree frog is basically a vertebrate houseplant

quote:

I [17 F] don't understand the behavior of my basketball coach [30s-40s M]Personal issues

I am on Varsity for my school's basketball team. We have two coaches, one who works with freshman and sophomores on the team, and one who works with juniors and seniors. This guy works with freshman and sophomores.

We had a few practice sessions with JV before our season actually started, and he came off as very friendly to everyone. Throughout practice, though, he became very hostile towards me, and attempted to convince the other coach that I didn't belong on Varsity.

He then invited me to help train the sophomores and freshman later, and buttered me up, telling me how grateful the team was to have me and how responsible and caring I was. All smiles.
This same "alternating personality routine" continued for a few more weeks on and off. He's either a complete bonehead, or all smiles. I don't know which to expect.

My dad helps me practice at home for my separate travel team, and he knows this. He therefore sometimes says stuff like, "Let me be your dad. Let me help you and coach you. I'll make you feel comfortable. I'm just like your dad. You'll feel perfectly fine."

This kind of creeps me out, and my dad and mom agree that it's not normal. I am hosting several service opportunities at school, and he now is constantly emailing me on my school email (he's a teacher at the school) asking for my number so we can communicate through text about this project. He doesn't ask in person during practices, and I ignore these emails.

He asked to come to my latest service project involving kids with special needs, and I really don't want him there. I told him that we already had too many volunteers and I didn't want anyone to feel overwhelmed.

He is still asking, though, and I feel like I need a better excuse, though because he insists on coming and says he has marked his calendar.
Is this behavior normal, first of all? And second, any excuse ideas?

tl;dr: Weird-behaving, creepy varsity basketball coach wants to come to a service opportunity I'm hosting and is constantly emailing me about it. How do I tell him that I don't want him to come without risking my varsity spot on the team? I need excuses! It's better if you just read the whole thing, it makes more sense

La Brea Carpet posted:

Lifetime movie in the making here:

quote:

tl;dr: Weird-behaving, creepy varsity basketball coach wants to come to a service opportunity I'm hosting and is constantly emailing me about it. How do I tell him that I don't want him to come without risking my varsity spot on the team? I need excuses! It's better if you just read the whole thing, it makes more sense

quote:

He therefore sometimes says stuff like, "Let me be your dad. Let me help you and coach you. I'll make you feel comfortable. I'm just like your dad. You'll feel perfectly fine."

Benagain posted:

I am so glad she told her parents, although if I was her parent I'd be five steps ahead on the "call someone and get that rear end in a top hat fired" path.

Mirthless posted:

Yeah what the gently caress are her parents doing?

I found the comment thread and the girl was making posts four months ago on /r/teenagers listing herself as [14F] which makes this whole story a billion times loving worse

Ouhei posted:

4 months ago she was 14? That seems suspicious...

Assuming this story is true though, I agree. What the gently caress are her parent's doing. That poo poo needs to go straight to the principal at the very least.

purple death ray posted:

Jill of the Jungle there loving rules and I'm glad she not only dumped that clown but got an extra tree frog out of the deal

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

she's the girl who's working herself to death making sure no stray goes unadopted, I'm betting it just took her five years to finally admit some should be sent back to the shelter

purple death ray posted:

Jill of the Jungle there loving rules and I'm glad she not only dumped that clown but got an extra tree frog out of the deal

Tiny Deer posted:

Haha yeah it's her house that he lives in for free because she has good jobs, I think his claims to decide what goes on there are 0 and nil respectively. Mostly because he was the other rescue animal she was supporting until she realized his lovely behavior around the other pets made him incompatible with her household.

I mean I don't doubt she's probably somewhere on the crazy rescue lady spectrum, which correlates with dating lovely guys. There's a quote I like about this phenomenon:

"Women love a sick child or a healthy animal; A man who is both itches them like an incubus." - Marilyn Hacker

P.S. Cheating on your husband at his own party in your house while everyone you're close to is there is a kind of cheater lazy I've yet to see and it is beautiful.

Tiny Deer posted:

"Women love a sick child or a healthy animal; A man who is both itches them like an incubus." - Marilyn Hacker

Pick posted:

i don't like it when strangers know me that well

quote:

Throwaway because I don't want anyone to know how hosed up I am.

I feel it is necessary to mention, even though I am NOT blaming this situation or my behavior on the fact, that I have MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) with psychotic symptoms. If you are unfamiliar with it, think manic depressive or bipolar, but without the highs and only the lows. I am medicated but very financially strung thin right now, with a few nosy relatives who work at my local low-income mental health clinic which makes me nervous to pursue therapy. My episodes tend to come on very rapidly for an indeterminable amount of time, anywhere from days to weeks with a month or so in between. While alcohol was a trigger in this instance, it has NOT been in any other occasion. I would like to stress that. I strongly believe it had much to do with last night but want to stress that I am very aware this is a problem above and beyond its influence. Anyway.

Last night, my boyfriend and I watched a couple horror movies after putting our son to bed. We had been drinking pretty heavily. Think 2 to 4 shots an hour for four hours or so. This was heavily irresponsible of us in retrospect. We were celebrating something, but I understand now that we should have been more responsible. We live out of town and should never have incapacitated ourselves without a sitter. Son is fine, but I digress.

We were watching a Korean horror film when I was triggered very badly. (I have PTSD as well, but it is normally well managed) There was a scene where a woman was being choked and killed and I just... I lost it. It's impossible to describe. I told my boyfriend, because I wanted someone grounded in reality to help, that I wanted to take all the pills of a certain kind we had in the house (Benadryl) and that after feeling the effects I would self-harm to the point of suicide.

He laughed in my face. Laughed. Said I would "do nothing but trip balls" and helped me get the pills ready. Then, when I grabbed them to take them, stood behind me and put his arm around my neck in a chokehold (that is my NUMBER ONE trigger - my ex choked me into unconsciousness routinely) so I.... I pissed myself. I was terrified. He yelled for over 20 minutes about how disgusting I was. Then he told me that if I can't control pissing on him then how can he control yelling at me?

I tried to leave then, but he wouldn't let me out the door. I just wanted to crawl into the woods and die. But I crawled into bed instead, and now I'm awake and he's still asleep. I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry for the wall of text. Anyone who read this all is a loving saint.

tl;dr: Fiancee and I were drinking - I was triggered by something not his fault and felt extremely suicidal while he laughed at how silly my thoughts were. His arm went around my neck and I got so scared I pissed myself. He lost it and yelled at me for 20 minutes because some pee got on him and told me that he shouldn't have to control his yelling if I can't even control my pissing.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [22/F] and my fiancee [22/M] - I had a breakdown and accidentally pissed on him, now I feel like our relationship is over. Yes, alcohol was involved. He won't forgive me.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [22/F] and my fiancee [22/M] - I had a breakdown and accidentally pissed on him, now I feel like our relationship is over. Yes, alcohol was involved. He won't forgive me.

Barudak posted:

Unironically i think that poor childs life might be improved if he were kidnapped and raised by his kidnapper.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

I [22/F] and my fiancee [22/M] - I had a breakdown and accidentally pissed on him, now I feel like our relationship is over. Yes, alcohol was involved. He won't forgive me.

Barudak posted:

Unironically i think that poor childs life might be improved if he were kidnapped and raised by his kidnapper.