WrenP-Complete posted:

My ex [25 F] is posting 'documentary' video of me [23 M] breaking up with her. Duration: 6 months. Breakups
submitted 2 years ago * by slapdamn

My ex edited together video of our breakup.

Wait what?
I dated this girl, off and on, for about 6 months. Relatively early on it dawned on me that she has a few good sociopathic tendencies, as in, doesn't connect with others emotionally and struggles with empathy.

She has told me that she has to fake sympathy towards her friends when they tell her about loss. She knows she's supposed to say "I'm so sorry to hear that" but she knows it's a lie. She's very good at putting on that mask. She's also gorgeous, loves to be dominated in bed, and can play just about anybody she meets.

Here is a decent example of her way of thinking as related by a dream she told me she had a few days ago:
This late morning I had a dream about you. You were in a battle and I could see from my screen that you were under attack. Suddenly there was a bomb exploded behind you. I ran out of my room and looked for you. You were lying in a trench, intact. Because there's a little girl behind you and somehow blocked the fire from hitting She was burned completely and dead. Me: I am so glad that she was behind you. She's an innocent girl but I don't really know her. You: You disgust me.

Her English is a little wonky because she is from Mainland China here in Holland on a full scholarship. She happens to be loving brilliant, sharp as a tack and ruthless to boot. She has since graduated and is back in China till next month or so. I was the only person to attend her graduation, she refused to let anybody else attend including her folks from China.

Despite her studies she has all these aspirations to be a filmmaker, which is what I am. She gravitates towards independent and foreign films about alienated souls struggling to connect with others. I like those ones too, but I also enjoy Fast and the Furious 5. Despite these huge loving warnings rather then ending the relationship completely I let it linger on on a much less intense level, or so I thought. I craved the attention and affection she provided. She started to get obsessed.

At a certain point she asked if I would be willing to allow her to use me as a subject for her documentary in a community college "intro to documentary filmmaking class". I was reluctant but eventually I relented.

"Episode 1" showcases her ambushing me with her camera at a story telling event, my admonishing her for it, telling a tale on stage, and then looking like a sad little clown. She edited the video to make it seem like a a friend of mine never showed up. Not true. After this, I fail in my efforts to break away. We have a pretty big fight at my apartment that weekend culminating in me kicking her out. But I also was still drawn to her. I do have affection for her and sympathy. She asked if she could "finish the documentary" and I allow it to happen.

Then we fall back into our routine, now with a handy cam present for parts of it. That next friday we break up for like the 5th loving time. It was a screaming match that woke up the street. I said things like "YOU HAVE TO RESPECT PEOPLES LIVES!" and she would counter with "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY WAY OF THINKING!" I was literally talking her attitude about other people. She doesn't respect anybody she hasn't been able to project herself onto, hence the sociopathic label I will without any holds barred stand by.

After belting in her face that things were once and for all over, she attempts to storm off in the cold rain. I ask her to come up to the apartment. Last time I kicked her out of my place, for viciously and cruelly insulting me, she then at least had her bike. I was also far more angry. This time I knew things were ending and it didn't seem right to let her walk at 1AM at night for an hour by herself. She comes up.

We lay in my bed, I cry a bit, she doesn't. We have sex. The morning breaks. It was that following day she recorded the footage that became "Episode 3: The Breakup". In the video I wax pseudo-philosophic as I am asked about the end of the relationship. I don't come off that badly, but it's painfully private and earnest. It's literally my puffy eyes talking to the camera, for about 10 minutes.

I know that she is slowly but surely revealing this to other people. The filmmaking community in my city isn't the largest, and I fear that through her attempts of gaining "feedback" she is exposing her interpretation of me in far too grand of way. I work as a filmmaker and I feared the consequences.
At first I felt I was overreacting and very few people will give a real poo poo. However, now, I have found out she's posted the video, with the password on her Facebook and her Tumblr.

I have asked her to take down the video through a few passionate emails. Here are some of her more choice quotes:



I've been talking to Vimeo to take down the video, but what resources do I have when she tries to post this on Youku and such? What else can I do?

tl;dr: My sociopathic ex is posting "documentary" video of our breakup and I want it stop. What resources do I have?

MF_James posted:

Or, I know this is crazy, maybe he actually wants to crossdress all the time, but hides it out of shame.

MF_James posted:

Uh, this dude knew what he was getting into... She told him she was making a movie, he did all of this stuff in front of the camera, and knows she does not care what anyone else thinks, wtf did he think would happen? Made your bed, lay in it. Zero sympathy for this guy despite the fact that it's lovely.

Barudak posted:

Cross dress wife buried the "hes gotten really into drugs" far down in there.

Improbable Lobster posted:

I'm Canadian and I never keep my shoes on inside, what the gently caress is wrong with you? Do you like dragging in slush and mud?

timefly posted:

She said he stopped...

I wouldn't be surprised if it was benzos, they really destroy your inhibition. I had to get taken off klonopin because if I took one I couldn't stop myself from taking a week's worth at a time and they made me spend all my money and then brazenly shoplift without a care in the world.

MF_James posted:

Uh, this dude knew what he was getting into... She told him she was making a movie, he did all of this stuff in front of the camera, and knows she does not care what anyone else thinks, wtf did he think would happen? Made your bed, lay in it. Zero sympathy for this guy despite the fact that it's lovely.

El Estrago Bonito posted:

As crazy as this sounds this is one of the least crazy Chinese girl breakup stories I've heard. When my friend was teaching in China a girl once mailed him a vial of blood and also bought copies of several shirts he owned and would wear them whenever they were at the same place together.

WrenP-Complete posted:

Husband turned into a Cross-Dresser and I love him a LOT less. Is it cruel or kinder to be honest?
submitted 5 years ago by thesparksagoner

Married nearly 4 years, together close to ten. We're 29 and 30.

I always knew he had a kinky side and we bought a lot of sex toys together. Shortly before we got married he revealed that (sorry if too much detail!) he liked to tie himself up when I was out of the house and he would use my vibrators anally. I kind of got past that and didn't think too much about it.

Last year he started heavily using drugs, 4 times a week or so, and in that period he started dressing up to act out his solo fantasies. I was a bit uncomfortable with how frequent it was getting, and that he was buying himself sexy spike heeled boots off eBay and women's clothing all the time. In ten years, he's never once bought ME sexy lingerie! I asked him to tone it down, or just not do it while I was in the house, as I found it weird and uncomfortable being around him dressed like that. You can't take a man seriously as a lover when you've seen him tottering around in stripper heels, wearing fake boobs that are ridiculously oversized and make him look like a clown with balloons stuck up its sweater, and he thinks he's HAWT.

Anyway, he was unwilling or unable to keep it out of my way, and there was one day I walked in as he was putting his costume away after a masturbation session. I backed off, but then came back a little later and he was trying on another outfit. I guess that was the point where I realised that he can't help himself, and it's not just a masturbation prop. He is what he is. And I lost all desire for him from that moment. He's stopped doing drugs but the outfits and patent leather stripper heels are here to stay. He keeps them out of my way, mostly, but... too late, the lust vanished in an instant. I still can't believe how fast it went.

That was nearly nine months ago. I spent the first three months very angry, because I remember very strongly what it was like to be in a relationship with someone I worshipped and desperately wanted to shag all the time. The loss of that element was (and is) very bitter and sometimes I couldn't stop myself lashing out; I'd snap and bitch when I found his dress-up clothes in the washing, or that he'd stolen and used some of my clothing or accessories. By April I got over it, and I spent the summer grieving for my old passion. Every time I heard an Adele song on the radio, or saw an old photo of him as a younger guy, it would be really hard to hold back the tears and I pretty much cried all the time I was on my own, or wrote endless Reddit posts and never submitted them. Then I went away for a few weeks, and when I realised I never thought of him sexually at all - and when I did, had a brief mental 'ew' reaction because I will always, ALWAYS picture him in ballet boots and a pencil skirt - I realised, it's dead and gone. Now I feel nothing. It's not personal. I'm just really not attracted to cross dressers, and it was a massive turn off.

Thing is, I'm still here. He's my best friend and 10 years on, I still adore him. When we met up after me going away he had obviously had a hard time being by himself and really, really missed me. And to be selfish and honest, I really missed sex. My sex drive is as high as ever, and physically, you know, it still feels good. He just doesn't give me the spark anymore, and the part of sex that is mental and comes from being with someone you are really attracted to, rather than just the physical sensation, is flat. So I almost never come any more, but that just makes me want sex more because I am now never satisfied. And I'm getting it less, because he knows something is up, and he feels intense pressure to perform because I'm never satisfied! drat downward spiral

Everything else is great. We're good friends, we bought a house a year ago and it's finally taking shape, we own three cats and have a lot of fun together. I really don't want to bring it all crashing down, I desperately don't. But at the same time, for myself, I'm done being upset about it and now I really want some romance and to have sex again with somebody I desire. It's left a giant hole in my life and I miss it.

Think I should have that talk with him? Or leave it til after Christmas? I'm concerned that if it goes on much longer, it may all come out in alcohol one day and I won't be able to control the delivery. Telling the love of your life that you are put off by them sexually isn't an easy conversation to have at any point. I don't know what to do!

54 40 or gently caress posted:

I said it was unheard of in Canada to wear shoes in the house so take off you goof

Pick posted:

Hell yeah, a lot of women do this stuff in other cultures and I love it. I love the crazy stuff. Not the like, "I'll stab you" crazy, but when someone is in love and it makes every single sensible part of their brain misfire. Oh god, I love him so much, I'm going to fill all his pillows with dead bees!!

lemon-lyme disease posted:

Continuing an earlier discussion, but I'm pretty far north US-wise (plenty of snow, etc.) and encountering people who demand shoes be taken off at the door has been a rare occurrence. Actually, the only people I've known to be strict about this have been unusually religious.

It IS a poor area though, if that's what some of you were getting at. I'm not sure what difference that makes but, hey. Information.

Being in sock-feet around other people/in someone else's space has always made me feel oddly vulnerable in a way I can't say I find pleasant, so I'm pretty glad that isn't convention here.

Surprised to learn any part of this is weird.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Help Reddit I don't know why my wife got upset that her security blanket from when her mom beat on her got ruined?! I love that that fact is "neither here nor there".

Subjunctive posted:

Which word filter?

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

*looks at your custom title*
Honestly surprised you don't know.

Drunk Nerds posted:

"Edit 3
A friend of her family is a professional seamstress and said she could get Teddy back right as rain. I would have taken any one of the seriously 10+ redditors that said they would do it for free but the convenience of the friend is too good to pass up (she also said she'd do it for free). So not only should Teddy get fixed, he should be good and we don't have to worry about him being lost through shipping. The wife has hope but it is tempered at the moment. I am excited to see how it turns out. I showed her this thread and all the support that came with it and she was moved to tears. If the seamstress doesn't get it all together then she will entertain the build-a-bear idea. Thanks again guys."

I'm so used to that word filter, the opening sentence here really confused me for a while

WampaLord posted:

Well this one got solved! I can't believe he didn't think "take it to someone who sews" until Reddit yelled at him.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I can, easily, so many grown rear end adults talk about being able to make a drat curry like it's some kind of dark voodoo magic I have no doubts it never even occurs to most people that the things they own are manufactured by humans using processes other humans can learn to replicate

quote:

My friend [22M] is creepy towards women and I [21M] don't know how to handle this.[new]

He excessively flirts with every woman he meets. He hits on women in front of their friends and their boyfriends. He gropes them and touches them often. He even flirts with them inappropriately and approaches them randomly, be a bar, club, store, etc. He won't take no for an answer.

Many of my female friends have complained to me about him and want him out. But, we are in the same organization and have to vote him out. We tried to talk to him but he never listens to us and claims that the women have high expectations.

TL;DR : How do I bring this up to him and help him improve?

quote:

Me [28/F] with my husband [30 M] married 5 years; together 7, Fed up of husband's stinginess when grocery shopping or eating out
submitted 1 year ago * by throwaway_1x9x8x7x

My husband and I are financially well off :
No debts except 30 year home mortgage which we are systematically overpaying and the house should be fully paid off in next 8 years

Both of us earn ~90k each annually and live in VA,USA

About myself : I am a frugal person and also a smart shopper - I never buy anything full price, use coupons as much as possible, use ebates and other cash back websites and apps. Its also very rare that I would buy something thats completely unnecessary. At the beginning of each year I create a budget spreadsheet and stick with it(E.g. My yearly apparel shopping budget is $1000). Since we have been together I have bought 3-4 designer handbags worth ~1000 dollars each. I buy couple of clothing items every month(from stores like JCrew, Loft, Zara, Mango etc.) and household stuff like curtains, paintings, electronics etc. from Target or Amazon. I don't have any expensive hobbies or habits. I work out at home, cut my own hair, clean the house myself and dont splurge unnecessarily.

About the husband : He is also a frugal person. Just like me, he has no expensive hobbies or habits. He is very loving and caring. He doesn't stop me from buying anything and has never questioned any of my purchases (except, when it comes to food). He can get mad easily for little things but he cools offs right away. Also, cooking is his passion and he loves to eat.

Everything is good between us, except "Food". I dont know why but Husband is very very stingy when it comes to buying food or eating out. Several examples:

I love fruits, but he will let me buy strawberries and grapes only when they are on sale for $1.99 or less. If they are not on sale I have to buy something else, which I generally don't because I like strawberries and grapes the best.
I cant buy nice Breads and Cheese because they are overpriced(as per Husband). So we always end up getting the same whole wheat bread and block of cheese from Costco

No nice chocolates either. I get to buy Hershey's or Kitkat. Not even Lindt.

If we decide to go out to eat, he will start looking for coupons and deals in various restaurants. We will go to a restaurant for which he has a BOGO or free dessert or some such coupon.

We have been together for long and I have mostly gotten used to his stinginess w.r.t. food. But sometimes I get so frustrated and lose my mind. Like yesterday we went to the store to get salad. I picked up a box of Arugula and a bottle of Thousand island dressing from Harris Teeter. He got mad at me for picking up those 2 items because:

1. we already have a Greek dressing at home and he wants me to use that.

2. He thought the Arugula was more expensive than spinach so I should get spinach. I just lost it at that time and left the store. He paid for the 2 things, but would not stop talking about how we could have gotten a better deal at costco, and that I dont know how to shop for food etc. etc. etc.

This is not the first time we have had a major fight about food shopping. Such an incident happens almost every month. Husband says "he buys stuff that is value for money and I dont know how to shop for food." and that I should leave all grocery shopping etc. just to him. I am not comfortable with this arrangement and I feel pathetic to think that even after earning ~90k I cant eat what I want.

How do I fix this?

tl;dr: Husband very stingy about food and eating. Doesn't let me eat what I want!

La Brea Carpet posted:

I'm wondering, fraternity or anime club?

A big flaming stink posted:

tabletop gaming 100%

Pick posted:

Pick posted:

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

the husband sounds turbo nuts but tbf I can't tell how much of that's from being married to someone who thinks you can both be a frugal person and own an uncertain number of thousand-dollar handbags

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

the husband sounds turbo nuts but tbf I can't tell how much of that's from being married to someone who thinks you can both be a frugal person and own an uncertain number of thousand-dollar handbags

quote:

How do I [29f] get my bf [31m] of ~10 months to stop using my expensive skin care products? Relationships
submitted 5 months ago by Bfsmellslikeawoman

My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over 10 months but used to be coworkers for many years prior to that. About two months ago he moved in with me and overall everything has been great. The only thing about us living together that has been bothering me is that he keeps using all my expensive face products.

When he first moved in I was making room for his stuff in my medicine cabinet and he took notice that I had a bunch of "fancy" looking products in there. After a few weeks of living together he saw me using my Clarisonic exfoliator brush before bed and kind of jokingly asked to try it. I was like "sure, whatever" because I honestly didn't care but that ended up starting a vicious cycle. Now he uses it almost every night, along with my face serums, night creams, etc.
I'm usually not a stingy person but it really irritates me when I catch him slathering on one of my $100+ face products. I've mentioned to him how he's using too much, it works better when there's not extra product sitting on the face, etc. but he doesn't seem to be getting it. I'm not low on money so it's not a monetary issue; it just is incredibly wasteful to use as much as he's using. I also hate that I have to hide a separate brush head for my Clarisonic because it grosses me out to use the same one as him.

The worst of it all, and probably the reason this all started to really irritate me, is that a few weeks ago I noticed whenever we'd get in bed and start fooling around he would smell very girly. My favorite night cream is a Lancome one that has kind of an old fashioned fragance to it that reminds me of my grandma and now whenever my bf gets close to kiss me it totally kills the mood. He's starting to pick up on the fact that I'm less interested in him sexually so I told him that smell was bothering me but he thinks I'm just making it up so I don't have to share anymore.

I told him about some Chanel and Clinique night creams I read about online that are specifically made for men but he doesn't want to spend the money on them. I've considered just buying him some to try but it's not like he's hurting for money either so I find the whole situation incredibly annoying. Now whenever I'm in bed and hear him in the bathroom I just lie there stewing thinking about him wasting all my poo poo and then coming to bed smelling like a woman. I honestly think this stupid problem is making me rethink the relationship altogether. Any advice?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I can, easily, so many grown rear end adults talk about being able to make a drat curry like it's some kind of dark voodoo magic I have no doubts it never even occurs to most people that the things they own are manufactured by humans using processes other humans can learn to replicate

El Estrago Bonito posted:

This I think is mostly because a shocking number of normal adults don't know how to thicken sauces or make a roux. A unsettling amount of people I know cook everything on high and don't really get how adjusting temperature is important for making sauces.

El Estrago Bonito posted:

This I think is mostly because a shocking number of normal adults don't know how to thicken sauces or make a roux. A unsettling amount of people I know cook everything on high and don't really get how adjusting temperature is important for making sauces.

Pick posted:

Andrast posted:

With the internet there is no excuse not knowing how to cook something. The internet is full instructions about making practically anything. I'm not particularly good at cooking but when I'm not sure how to do something I just look it up. How is that hard for people?

This also applies to things that are not cooking.

Pick posted:

Lonely Virgil posted:

Buy your bar of Lindt and eat while he throws a tantrum, girl. You deserve it.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

It's definitely not the norm where I'm from, but it makes so much sense and wearing shoes sucks so I often take mine off anyway. I do it at my mom's house and she rolls her eyes each time but like, mom, there's mud on the floor and you don't clean it so why not at least contain it???

lemon-lyme disease posted:

We've got hardwood floors, but we've also got an entryway and separate shoes and boots.

Note, nobody switches from one to the other. It's just a matter of removing boots and avoiding loving non-boots all up in the first place. At worst, it's some snow. Wipe them off on the mat and you're set!

At this point I have no idea why I'm explaining myself. I guess I just wanted it to be clear we don't muddy our floors like "savages" or whatever word was used.

fruit on the bottom posted:

This seems like a poor interpretation of the post. He pretty clearly understands why she's upset, and he's not blaming her for being upset. His question isn't why there's a problem but how to fix it.

(That he missed the obvious answer is either because of panic or just being a dumdum.)

He says the abuse is "neither here nor there" because the abuse isn't really direct issue. It's just backstory to explain to Reddit why her being so emotionally attached to the stuffed animal and overwhelmingly distraught by its death shouldn't be seen as a massive red flag like it probably would devoid of context.

It's incredible. It's like you read every word wrong.