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Leon Einstein posted:Agreed. She "felt lovely" so he needs to come home right then? I can feel the neediness from here. I doubt she'd be so pissed off if he'd sent her a single text between 11:45 and 3am They're living together.  If he can't be courteous maybe they should slow it down.
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Jan 25, 2017 20:52
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Mirthless posted:I doubt she'd be so pissed off if he'd sent her a single text between 11:45 and 3am She asked him to come home for no reason, and he texted her at 11:45 saying he missed the bus. He obviously told her this because he didn't want to go home. She's pissed because he didn't come home when she asked.
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Jan 25, 2017 20:57
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Mirthless posted:They live together. If they're at that stage of committment in their relationship she deserves to know when he's going to be home so she's not up all night worried about it.
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Jan 25, 2017 20:58
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Mirthless posted:They live together. If they're at that stage of committment in their relationship she deserves to know when he's going to be home so she's not up all night worried about it. yeah but if you read the post there are some of those "I give him an extra hour with whats-her-face" but when he hangs out with "nincompoop" he comes later than I ask him to. Yes i get that he should be saying hey hun I"ll be home at xyz and if he's later say, I'll be later than I expected.
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Jan 25, 2017 20:59
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Mirthless posted:yeah I think people really underestimate how easily you can pare down expenses when you're really poor. I was unemployed for 7 months (2/mos without any unemployment) between 2014 and 2015 and I honestly wasn't having too much harder of a time paying my bills than I am now on 45k/yr. Working 40 hours a week is pretty good and I enjoy my job and the stability it provides and the healthcare I barely have to pay for. I was an intern at this same place before and barely made $20k with no healthcare and even though "I made it work" I never want to go back to that. I'm in Texas though and COL here is really good unless you're in 2 general areas. I used to laugh at three olives with his Dallas high rise and modest salary, but look at me now I'm p much the same person.
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Jan 25, 2017 20:59
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Seriously, it'd be exhausting to stay up and worry about your SO every time they're out. gently caress that.
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Jan 25, 2017 20:59
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I just wanna say that I appreciate the effort you went through to dig this up
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Jan 25, 2017 21:02
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Charles Get-Out posted:I was an intern at this same place before and barely made $20k with no healthcare and even though "I made it work" I never want to go back to that. This is the mentality I expect, not "What would I even do with the princely sum of $60k?"
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Jan 25, 2017 21:02
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Leon Einstein posted:She asked him to come home for no reason, and he texted her at 11:45 saying he missed the bus. He obviously told her this because he didn't want to go home. She's pissed because he didn't come home when she asked. "I'm not feeling well, partner, please care for me" is not "no reason". She's pissed because he came home three hours late without a single text. If he didn't want to go home, he should have probably communicated that to her. Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:I dunno the stage of commitment where you trust each other to not get kidnapped or cheat on each other is the one I'd like to be at before moving in together. I can't imagine being the dude but I'd probably just tell her "I'll be home at 4 am" and then come home early if a good-faith estimate is met with needy reddit posts. Do you actually continually update your SO with ETAs when you're out with other people? That would drive me nuts I think. "I will be home at midnight" then no updates between 11:45 and 3am is not "continual updates with ETAs" and it's certainly not "I'll be home at 3am" Worrying about your partner when they're out past when they said they would be and aren't communicating with you is pretty normal I thought??? I mean, I guess I should trust my partner to not get into a car accident or have a fall or something? This is crazy. I get what you mean about the cheating thing (though, clearly this isn't the issue, since she mentions hanging out with Laura running late all the time like it was just a footnote) but it's not a "trust" issue to be concerned for somebody's safety when they live with you and you can't get ahold of them. You guys value your independence and I get that but jesus christ if you can't pick up a phone and send a text message without acting like your life is being micromanaged, you probably shouldn't be in a serious relationship with anybody edit: FTR I am not saying she's not being unreasonable. He's not communicating, and that's nearly always bad in a relationship. If he can't talk to her about this without it devolving into a huge fight, he should dump her and get into a more stable relationship. But if he's not going to talk to her about it and he's not going to respect her enough to tell her when he's going to be late, he's in the wrong. Mirthless fucked around with this message at 21:08 on Jan 25, 2017 |
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Jan 25, 2017 21:03
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You don't think a text saying he missed the bus would indicate a later return time? And yes, her feeling lovely is a bullshit reason for him to cut his night short. I guess you've never dealt with a woman like the OP, but she sounds suffocating.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:05
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Honestly it sounds like he's just not that into her.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:05
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Mirthless posted:yeah I think people really underestimate how easily you can pare down expenses when you're really poor. I was unemployed for 7 months (2/mos without any unemployment) between 2014 and 2015 and I honestly wasn't having too much harder of a time paying my bills than I am now on 45k/yr. Yeah, living mostly independently for a decade (had to ask my parents for rent occasionally) I had a grand total of zero hospital or dentist visits, even though there were s times when I desperately needed them. My tooth hurts and I have a fever because of it? Swish some of a $8 handle of whiskey around in there and hope for the best, because it's either that or no food and utilities. Should I head to the emergency room for this potentially broken limb or sharp pain? I can't afford the $500+ bill, and I don't want to deal with debt collection if I don't pay, because it is almost as miserable as this current malady. Starting to go insane? Tough it out, you can't even afford one therapy session, let alone meds. Paying for insurance would have meant sleeping outside and I'd still have a huge co-pay. No thanks. At least now that I'm on disability I have health care, psychiatric care, therapy and new pair of BCGs every 2-3 years. Not dental, mind you. That's still out of pocket. I've never had a job where I could afford even one of those things, except a pair of glasses from Wal-Mart when my old ones literally fell apart.  You find yourself doing a lot of talking, playing cards, listening to music, drinking, smoking and doing the most idiotic and destructive stuff on a low-rear end income, just to kill time. Drinking and smoking may seem like a terrible idea on a tiny income, but what else are you going to numb the pain with? There are dirt cheap booze and 'baccy options. They ain't good, but they don't have to be. I did a lot of hanging out at people's houses while they jammed on ancient acoustic guitars and doodled flaming skulls.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:10
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Not a Children posted:I just wanna say that I appreciate the effort you went through to dig this up Mirthless posted:"I will be home at midnight" then no updates between 11:45 and 3am is not "continual updates with ETAs" and it's certainly not "I'll be home at 3am" Jeffrey of YOSPOS fucked around with this message at 21:15 on Jan 25, 2017 |
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Jan 25, 2017 21:10
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Look, let's all just agree that you're allowed to roundhouse kick any significant other that wants you to get rid of your pets, or perhaps worse, harm them, such as by putting spiders in the garage.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:11
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Pick posted:Look, let's all just agree that you're allowed to roundhouse kick any significant other that wants you to get rid of your pets, or perhaps worse, harm them, such as by putting spiders in the garage. Seconded.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:14
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Leon Einstein posted:You don't think a text saying he missed the bus would indicate a later return time? She sounds loving awful. "He should be home by this time" wtf? I've been with my now fiancee for 10 years, guess how many times she has given me a curfew? If you guessed zero, you'd be correct. Guess what would happen if she told me to be home by midnight? I would come home midnight the NEXT loving NIGHT because I'm a smartass like that and there is zero reason for her to be trying to dictate the hours I'm allowed to do things. Obviously if there's a big event planned the next day, yes, I will be home at a reasonable hour and not drugged out of my mind so that we can make it there and be presentable together. This woman is attempting to control what he's doing and when he's allowed to see his friends. There could be things to this story she didn't share, such as him cheating on her etc, but with the information given, she sounds controlling as gently caress by dictating when he can be out and how long he's allowed to be out. *edit* I read the story again, she doesn't outright say that she told him to be back by midnight, so maybe he said that initially. "My tummy hurts" or whatever isn't really a good excuse to make the guy come home early though, drink some water and go to bed. If you have the flu? Yeah, I'm going to come home, make soup for you etc. MF_James fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Jan 25, 2017 |
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Jan 25, 2017 21:15
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Leon Einstein posted:You don't think a text saying he missed the bus would indicate a later return time? "I missed the bus, I'm gonna catch a ride home from Mark in a couple of hours, sorry babe" would have taken him an extra 7 seconds to type and she would be entirely in the wrong for getting mad at him after that. I haven't ever had a super controlling partner, true, but to be fair, I'm not the kind of dick who disappears on my partner for hours without a word, either. Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:It actually took like 5 seconds, I thought I was gonna have to bust out the video files but google image search got it. Yeah, I don't entirely disagree, and in the case you mention, it would be entirely her who was in the wrong here, but (at least from her side of things) he didn't communicate that with her and after he "missed the bus" that was it, complete death of communication. Minor additional effort, even when he sent that one text at 11:45, could have at least prevented some stress. Love is an irrational emotion and our pop culture bombards us with the horrible fate of people's loved ones all the time. It's a giant leap but a lot of people's brains go there. It really doesn't hurt to give the occasional heads up.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:16
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TheScott2K posted:Honestly it sounds like he's just not that into her. While I agree fully with your assessment, curse you for reminding me of this movie. On the upside, it does feature a guy friendzoning a girl but good lord is it trash.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:17
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What movie?
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Jan 25, 2017 21:18
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MF_James posted:She sounds loving awful. "He should be home by this time" wtf? I've been with my now fiancee for 10 years, guess how many times she has given me a curfew? If you guessed zero, you'd be correct. Guess what would happen if she told me to be home by midnight? I would come home midnight the NEXT loving NIGHT because I'm a smartass like that and there is zero reason for her to be trying to dictate the hours I'm allowed to do things. 
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Jan 25, 2017 21:18
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TheScott2K posted:What movie? He's Just Not That Into You, I assume.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:19
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The title to this doesn't do it justice: I asked my gf's dad permission to marry her and he said no... quote:30M dating my 29F gf for 4 years. We both make a good living, her as a nurse educator/ instructor (she makes about $95K/year) and me about $90K/year as a javascript engineer. We live separately, she has made it known she did not want to live together until after marriage (she had been engaged once before and said it was really difficult once everything fell apart). Long story short, I know this is the girl I want to spend my life with. I bought a small ring and asked her dads permission and he said no.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:19
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When my (24f) boyfriend (23m) of six months, I grabbed his phone and keys and threw them in the water at the riverwalk. I apologized profusely but he's using this to turn our mutual friends against me. How to move past this?quote:All names fake (sorry for them for being so stupid sounding).
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Jan 25, 2017 21:19
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Pick posted:Look, let's all just agree that you're allowed to roundhouse kick any significant other that wants you to get rid of your pets, or perhaps worse, harm them, such as by putting spiders in the garage. My only question is if a roundhouse kick is sufficient, I move to add a clothesline stunner and a choke hold that takes them to the mat. A real slobberknocker.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:20
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Happitoo posted:The title to this doesn't do it justice: When will millennials learn to not ask baby boomers for input on their personal lives? just l-o-l at the idea of a doctor refusing to let somebody marry his daughter because of student loan debt
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Jan 25, 2017 21:20
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how have I not put you on ignore yet ugh. Let me help you, hyperbole: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/hyperbole
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Jan 25, 2017 21:21
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Happitoo posted:The title to this doesn't do it justice: Hoh-lee poo poo. That's a lot of loving debt.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:22
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Pvt.Scott posted:He's Just Not That Into You, I assume. Son of a bitch, there's actually a movie with that title. Huh. WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:When my (24f) boyfriend (23m) of six months, I grabbed his phone and keys and threw them in the water at the riverwalk. I apologized profusely but he's using this to turn our mutual friends against me. How to move past this? I wonder what other insane poo poo she's done that she hasn't told us about.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:22
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Pvt.Scott posted:He's Just Not That Into You, I assume. Bingo. Cellphone tosser would have been fine if she had just dumped him then and there. Throwing his phone and keys into the water is vindictive as gently caress for six months of dating. Jesus and the cops got involved? Fuckin a lady youre lucky as gently caress he didnt press charges.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:22
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Pick posted:Hoh-lee poo poo. That's a lot of loving debt. I have to say, I'd really love to know how the gently caress a javascript engineer ended up with $235k in debt Double major? Doctorate in Computer Science? Pretty hosed up to spend a quarter of a million dollars on something he could be doing at the same level with a programming course at a community college and a couple of years of contract work
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Jan 25, 2017 21:25
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Barudak posted:Bingo. I don't think that thread's going to be long for this world. When she doesn't get her validation it's gonna be delete time.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:25
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Mirthless posted:When will millennials learn to not ask baby boomers for input on their personal lives? I think it's more the $90k in credit card debt. Although with him having (I assume) a computer science degree, how did he end up with $200,000 in student loan debt?
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Jan 25, 2017 21:25
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90k in personal debt is insane. She should run. Also, the woman that threw the phone and keys is probably dramatic on a regular basis. I especially liked her claiming she tried to throw his phone over the river, but failed. Then failed again with the keys.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:25
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Moving into relationship advice has some okay things.. just found some gems on the front page. why wont you whore bitches date a nice guy like me. quote:I posted here a few days ago, talking about how my boyfriend calls me a whore because I've been with four other guys. I deleted the post because I didn't want him to see it. Would you look at that, well look at it! quote:
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Jan 25, 2017 21:25
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Mirthless posted:I have to say, I'd really love to know how the gently caress a javascript engineer ended up with $235k in debt Seriously, that's enough money to get by in Encinitas for a decade!
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Jan 25, 2017 21:27
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Happitoo posted:I think it's more the $90k in credit card debt. There's plenty of people at that age with nearly that much in personal loan debt making half what he's making, and I imagine he's including the cost of his vehicle in that equation. It's definitely a crazy amount of debt, agreed, I just don't think it's completely unmanageable. If he doesn't have his spending under control though she should definitely run.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:27
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Leon Einstein posted:90k in personal debt is insane. She should run. I agree. That is a shocking amount of debt for someone who is not very old, and who has enormous amounts of other debt as well.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:27
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man I think you guys just don't know enough people who are bad with money  ...I really want to know what the hell his student loans are for, though, god drat.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:29
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Happitoo posted:I think it's more the $90k in credit card debt. He has a ton of debt, but I think the dad mostly objected because THEY WERE TALKING MARRIAGE FOR A WHILE AND HE HAD NEVER TOLD HER ABOUT HIS 350K OF DEBT
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Jan 25, 2017 21:31
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Mirthless posted:man I think you guys just don't know enough people who are bad with money Probably didn't get the memo about University of Phoenix being meant for people with GI Bill money.
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Jan 25, 2017 21:31
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