Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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8 Ball: Nov 27, 2010; My hands are all messed up so you better post, brother.

Maybe just say 'Don't let the demon have my body' instead of killing yourself like a dumb pissbitch

# ? Jan 27, 2017 14:53

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# ? May 10, 2024 14:18

A Strange Aeon: Mar 26, 2010; You are now a slimy little toad; The Great Twist

I like the pink liquid in a screw top cannister, that's a memorable detail.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 14:59

The Management: Jan 2, 2010; sup, bitch?

At least the wife memories one was believable (in that he's delusional). The genie one was just the monkey's paw except not very good.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 15:08

Son of Man: Jan 29, 2003; by Azathoth

personally I love the crazy ghost and demon stories, they're way better than reading about some idiot's depression or cuck fantasy

# ? Jan 27, 2017 15:10

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

quote:

I have memories, which my therapists says are delusions, of being in love and married. Deep rooted memories, everything from our first date together to minor things like the way her hair smelled or the way she'd wrinkle her nose when she laughed really hard. These aren't dreams, I can vividly remember all of these things without fail. I have vague memories of other things; living in a crappy apartment, driving a car called a "Ford Sumada", and having money with John F Kennedy on it. All of those things I can dismiss as false memories or childhood dreams I'm remembering. But not her.

What Sumada with you?

# ? Jan 27, 2017 15:55

Wintermutant: Oct 2, 2009; Dinosaur Gum

A Strange Aeon posted:

I like the pink liquid in a screw top cannister, that's a memorable detail.

Someone must have just watched Prince of Darkness

# ? Jan 27, 2017 16:58

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Or Ghostbusters II

# ? Jan 27, 2017 17:06

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

A little delayed, but I will kill anyone who speaks badly about or is mean to Uli. He is my friend

# ? Jan 27, 2017 17:41

Wizzle: Jun 7, 2004; Most
Parochial
Poster

My not anonymous confession is that I work from home (for now) and don't have anyone to talk to during the day unless it's mundane work crap. We're saving money for a move and have no money for social outings on the weekends so basically the only person I get to talk to is my wife and I probably shouldn't tell her this, but I'd totally bang Ivanka Trump. She's hot.

OK, thanks.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 17:51

Paracaidas: Sep 24, 2016; Consistently Tedious!

Son of Man posted:

personally I love the crazy ghost and demon stories, they're way better than reading about some idiot's depression or cuck fantasy

Is a demon cucking fantasy really too much to ask for?

# ? Jan 27, 2017 18:24

Chard: Aug 24, 2010

loquacius posted:

I have memories, which my therapists says are delusions, of being in love and married. Deep rooted memories, everything from our first date together to minor things like the way her hair smelled or the way she'd wrinkle her nose when she laughed really hard. These aren't dreams, I can vividly remember all of these things without fail. I have vague memories of other things; living in a crappy apartment, driving a car called a "Ford Sumada", and having money with John F Kennedy on it. All of those things I can dismiss as false memories or childhood dreams I'm remembering. But not her.

I have been seeing a therapist for 9 years, as long as the memories have been happening. I believe with all my heart that some event happened 9 years ago that stranded me in this timeline/universe without my wife. And I miss her every day, even though my therapist says she's just an amalgamation of my various "dream women" in my life, an idealized version of everyone I've dated and everyone I've ever had a crush on.

But I swear to God, every morning I wake up and for a moment, I remember waking up next to her. And then I feel the warm tears running down my cheeks and start my lonely day.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 18:24

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

Wizzle posted:

My not anonymous confession is that I work from home (for now) and don't have anyone to talk to during the day unless it's mundane work crap. We're saving money for a move and have no money for social outings on the weekends so basically the only person I get to talk to is my wife and I probably shouldn't tell her this, but I'd totally bang Ivanka Trump. She's hot.

OK, thanks.

I too want to bang tall skinny blondes, it's ok man.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 18:44

remigious: May 13, 2009; Destruction comes inevitably; Hell Gem

How special, you would have sex with a conventionally attractive woman! Truly a revelation.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 18:49

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

i extremely love andey dalton. He's good, in a way that I wouldn't hesitate to say is quite/very

I assumed this was a drunk Bengals fan but I checked and the email came in at 8:30 AM (7:30 AM in Ohio)

I'm sorry to break it to you, anon, but Andy Dalton is not even the best quarterback to not make the playoffs this year

quote:

About three years ago, while on a visit back to our hometown, my wife and I hung out with an old high school friend, Bill. We learned from Bill that he had just broken up with his girlfriend. It was a nasty breakup, with lots of vicious accusations and yelling. When we saw him, be had just found out that she was pregnant, and was keeping the baby. Bill was stressed and devastated. He told us that he working on getting back together with her. She had a daughter from a previous relationship that Bill was also close to.

We wished him luck, and flew back home. Just to give you some background, Bill is not the most responsible person. He is poo poo with money, spends all his available cash on bullshit, and is also a little ADD/manic. He would buy/sell cars and motorcycles at a loss, owns a bunch of electronics, and has trouble making rent. He would do stuff in high school like take one of his many stupid butterfly knives and pretend to stab you.

That said, be seemed to mature rapidly when he became a father. When we got updates, we learned he had a stable job, and had mellowed a bit mentally. He was back with his ex and being a dad to both his son and his girlfriend's daughter.

Then, about a year and a half ago, they had a falling out. A bitter custody battle ensued, with Bill borrowing about 30k from his dad for a lawyer. Bill lost, and his ex got primary custody. Bill owes a ton of child support and constantly gets jerked around by his ex. That said, Bill has a bit of a persecution complex. He did get screwed, and his ex is just as crazy as he is, but in reality Bill lacks the support network that his ex has. The kid would probably be better off with the ex, or adopted

We've seen Bill with his son, and Bill clearly loves him. Bill matured a bunch, but still isn't a super great decision maker. He's a good Dad in terms of devotion but he's not the best responsible parent. Furthermore, his son has some developmental issues. Lots of yelling and hitting.

During this time, my wife and I had a daughter. She's about a year behind Bill's son. We ended up moving back to our hometown this last year to be closer to family. We find out that Bill is still employed, but it's living out of a van. He's got this weird idea that he needs to pay his dad back (his dad is an rear end in a top hat, but I can't imagine he is demanding that Bill pay back all that money ASAP). Because of this, Bill has decided to not "waste money on rent". He's still burning money on stupid crap and bought a new car. All of his stuff is being kept with his mom, or brother, or dad. On weekends when he has his son, Bill has been staying with his different family members. However we got the picture that he was wearing out his welcome.

He stayed over at our new place a few times with his son, and because we care about Bill, we said he could stay over semi-regularly. He stayed another 4 times or so. It was a little annoying, but Bill did his best to be a good roomie and he has been.

The crux of the issue is his son. After a couple visits, I started to notice that my normally well-behaved daughter (as much as a 2 year old can be, obviously) had started to mimic some of Bill's son's behaviors, like hitting our cats, throwing toys, etc.

This was not okay. I started sending my daughter to her grandparents when Bill was coming over with his son. I also started limiting how much play time they had together outside of Bill's sleepovers. I think Bill had started to notice. Then something terrible happened. Bill lost his job by mouthing off to his boss. He had been keeping his van in his job's employee lot (with boss permission). It's freezing outside, and Bill is worried about keeping his son warm. He's burned most of his good will with his family and has been relying more on us for a warm place to stay when he has his son. Sending my daughter off had become increasingly more inconvenient.

I finally did something that I think makes me a bad person. Bill's son is no longer welcome at my home. I feel like he's loving up my daughter's development by teaching her behaviors that are not acceptable. Since Bill can't control his son, this feels like the only option. We've also been avoiding Bills calls.

I know that I should be a better person, but it's my kid. My kid is more important than Bill or his son. Really, I should probably call CPS but I'm too much of a pussy. I don't want to ruin bills life further. His ex does not know that her son occasionally sleeps in a van. I think bill has been spending most of his time with his mom, so I can't say for sure that Bill's son is truly neglected. But I feel like it's not my problem, and I'm done with trying to help a guy maintain a garbage situation, especially when he's not trying to help himself. He still doesn't have a job and I don't think he's looking.

Ugh, gently caress. I'm really conflicted but I can't really talk about this to anyone, plus I'm ashamed of my selfish behavior.

Thanks for listening, anonymous internet people. Thanks for posting loquacius

You absolutely should call CPS, you are correct in that Bill's life is godawful already but his son does not need to be caught up in this situation.

Honestly the best move is probably to tell him to stop worrying about paying his father back and live in a loving apartment like a normal person. Threaten to call CPS if he does not, because he can't put his kid through this -- if that helps, it's 100% true. If he doesn't get on it, follow through on that.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 18:52

Wizzle: Jun 7, 2004; Most
Parochial
Poster

remigious posted:

How special, you would have sex with a conventionally attractive woman! Truly a revelation.

Thanks for reaffirming that I'm not crazy. And for not being my wife and rolling your eyes at me and telling me to stop dreaming and help fold the laundry.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 19:04

remigious: May 13, 2009; Destruction comes inevitably; Hell Gem

Wizzle posted:

Thanks for reaffirming that I'm not crazy. And for not being my wife and rolling your eyes at me and telling me to stop dreaming and help fold the laundry.

Thanks for continuing to prove that you are definitely not a misogynist.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 19:12

Fitzy Fitz: May 14, 2005

Cutting off Bill is the right thing to do. Just be glad he's not family, because that's way harder.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 19:14

Arven: Sep 23, 2007

loquacius posted:

That'll show him, good pick

Dangit, wish #3 is gonna cause a nuclear exchange with Russia.

# ? Jan 27, 2017 19:14

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

remigious posted:

Thanks for continuing to prove that you are definitely not a misogynist.

uh

hm

*squints*

# ? Jan 27, 2017 19:15

Pershing: Feb 21, 2010; John "Black Jack" Pershing
Hard Fucking Core

Delusional disorder is :smith:

as gently caress.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 00:16

Mr. Unlucky: Nov 1, 2006; by R. Guyovich

i watched my young cousin turn from a genius into a screaming imbecile because they hung out with a loud idiot every day so good call on that.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 02:05

Osric: Sep 25, 2012

loquacius posted:

Archeon is a dream I had the other day. It was an incredibly dystopian future; barren and sand everywhere. There was a room full of people; all minorities. We were getting shoved into chambers and sent into the past; I have no idea how I knew. I managed to escape, only to be stopped by a path of bullets and someone else managed to escape as well; seeing the future for what it was; barren as hell.

My confession is that minorities, come from another place; another planet; another time. They arrived sometime in the future to a barren world ruled by powerful and militaristic 'people'; who then proceeded to send them back in time to be slaves and do menial labor to save the planet from the future that I saw.

I know it sounds crazy but now everytime I see a minority doing some bullshit job and just being an all round failure in life I think 'Archeon'; they came here from another planet so far into the future and were sent back to be slaves and inferior and they don't even know it.

Specifically slavery was influenced by time travelers who needed cheap labor so they sent these advanced beings back to be chained and forced into horrible circumstances; its just the feeling I've been getting now a days.

My dreams are always total mindfucks and make me sad to wake up to this boring reality.

What do you think a minority is? They are people who are a minority in your country, their origins are entirely explicable and mundane; they come from other countries, or lived in your country before the majority population and were displaced by them.

If you're talking about black people their origins are in Africa, a continent full of black people, if you're talking about Asians their origins are in Asia, a continent full of Asian people. These are real places that exist, you can visit them. No other planets are involved.

If you're saying what I think you're saying you are literally one of the most willfully ignorant people alive.

Osric fucked around with this message at 02:41 on Jan 28, 2017

# ? Jan 28, 2017 02:10

Kirk Vikernes: Apr 26, 2004; Count Goatnackh

Good for you, Bill's kid goon. My wife's nephew is that kid. He's 8 now, but we used to get him on weekends because his dad is a dumb retarded homeless deadbeat that keeps loving 17-year olds, leaving them and then not paying support (3 so far) . The kid, though, had to repeat kindergarten, shits his pants, shits standing up on the toilet, shits all over the bathroom, gave us all pinworms because he's constantly covered in poo poo particles, etc. Once he walked out and poo poo in the middle of our kitchen floor and also poo poo in my wife's makeup. One day he greeted his mom as he got off the school bus by handing her a handful of poo poo that he had just taken out of his pants.

When he'd spend the night, we'd wake up to him licking our legs or back after he crawled into our bed at some point during the night. I'm 99% sure I caught him licking our dachshund's rear end in a top hat twice.... who he also loved to hit and kick.

Since he hit 5 or so he cries if you don't surrender whatever electronic device your using to him so he can watch YouTube videos of other people playing video games because he's literally too lazy to play them himself even if you have the exact game. He also can't ride a bike and rarely goes outside.

He couldn't read a single word by 7 and has horrible hygeine including what looks like meth mouth because he refuses to brush his teeth.

We quit getting him after one weekend when he told us he hated our 3mo twins and poo poo all over our bathroom again for the umpteenth time. Now his grandma gets him because she thought we were making poo poo up or exaggerating and is going to quit getting him because "precious only child of my son's I'll ever be a part of their lives" is exactly as we described. But when you grow up in a lawless land, I guess that's how you turn out.

tl;dr: Bill's friend, good job. We have an unhygienic, illiterate, abusive nephew that shits on everything and also don't want our twins influenced by his animalistic behavior. Your kid shouldn't be subjected to that either sort of thing either.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 02:23

Osric: Sep 25, 2012

Exceptional Transperson posted:

Good for you, Bill's kid goon. My wife's nephew is that kid. He's 8 now, but we used to get him on weekends because his dad is a dumb retarded homeless deadbeat that keeps loving 17-year olds, leaving them and then not paying support (3 so far) . The kid, though, had to repeat kindergarten, shits his pants, shits standing up on the toilet, shits all over the bathroom, gave us all pinworms because he's constantly covered in poo poo particles, etc. Once he walked out and poo poo in the middle of our kitchen floor and also poo poo in my wife's makeup. One day he greeted his mom as he got off the school bus by handing her a handful of poo poo that he had just taken out of his pants.

When he'd spend the night, we'd wake up to him licking our legs or back after he crawled into our bed at some point during the night. I'm 99% sure I caught him licking our dachshund's rear end in a top hat twice.... who he also loved to hit and kick.

Since he hit 5 or so he cries if you don't surrender whatever electronic device your using to him so he can watch YouTube videos of other people playing video games because he's literally too lazy to play them himself even if you have the exact game. He also can't ride a bike and rarely goes outside.

He couldn't read a single word by 7 and has horrible hygeine including what looks like meth mouth because he refuses to brush his teeth.

We quit getting him after one weekend when he told us he hated our 3mo twins and poo poo all over our bathroom again for the umpteenth time. Now his grandma gets him because she thought we were making poo poo up or exaggerating and is going to quit getting him because "precious only child of my son's I'll ever be a part of their lives" is exactly as we described. But when you grow up in a lawless land, I guess that's how you turn out.

tl;dr: Bill's friend, good job. We have an unhygienic, illiterate, abusive nephew that shits on everything and also don't want our twins influenced by his animalistic behavior. Your kid shouldn't be subjected to that either sort of thing either.

It sounds like this kid is autistic or has an intellectual disability. Fair enough if you're not up to caring for him but you seem to be describing a mentally retarded child as if he existed solely to spite you. That's not the case.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 02:48

whiter than a Wilco show: Mar 30, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

They came for the retards, and I said nothing, because I was, in fact, retarded.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 03:00

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Then they came for my animes.
And while there were still several people,
No one was willing to speak for me.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 03:08

Kirk Vikernes: Apr 26, 2004; Count Goatnackh

Osric posted:

It sounds like this kid is autistic or has an intellectual disability. Fair enough if you're not up to caring for him but you seem to be describing a mentally retarded child as if he existed solely to spite you. That's not the case.

No, he's been tested multiple times and they diagnosed him with is ADHD which his mom only medicates M-F to save money. He's also been tested by the special education department at his elementary school multiple times at the request of his mother and doesn't have any learning disabilities or at least not enough to get an IEP which I can tell you that in this area are a dime a dozen.

He just lives in a dirty house with no rules where his grandparents beat their dog, has a revolving cast of housemates, and can poo poo in/on whatever he wants.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 03:09

Osric: Sep 25, 2012

Exceptional Transperson posted:

No, he's been tested multiple times and they diagnosed him with is ADHD which his mom only medicates M-F to save money. He's also been tested by the special education department at his elementary school multiple times at the request of his mother and doesn't have any learning disabilities or at least not enough to get an IEP which I can tell you that in this area are a dime a dozen.

He just lives in a dirty house with no rules where his grandparents beat their dog, has a revolving cast of housemates, and can poo poo in/on whatever he wants.

Okay, if the child hasn't been diagnosed with ID or a mental illness yet he probably will be in the near future. Chaotic home environments retard IQ and impair social functioning which is both the clinical definition of ID and exactly what you're describing. And even if I'm wrong you surely can't hate a messed up liitle kid for being messed up?

whiter than a Wilco show posted:

They came for the retards, and I said nothing, because I was, in fact, retarded.

This would make more sense as a funny reworking of the Niemoller quote if the Nazis hadn't actually murdered shitloads of mentally retarded people. Like, in real life.

Osric fucked around with this message at 04:16 on Jan 28, 2017

# ? Jan 28, 2017 04:13

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I dunno if this is the place for tinfoil but I'm pretty sure the news is gradually being taken over by robots, and we're making them smarter by being lovely to each other over the internet.

People underestimate how good computers are at writing natural-sounding text. Since 2014, IBM's Watson has been able to argue either side of whatever topic.

http://newatlas.com/ibm-watson-debate/31993/

That's not complicated. Figure out who has influential opinions on the topic, and summarize them. Instant talking points for Facebook people. And if your goal is to make your opinion-summary bot as influential as possible, a really easy way to do that is by tracking how much of the internet is using your words.

As an example, consider the word "embolden." It's a really uncommon word, and it describes an extremely specific emotional state. But according to various authors at the New York Times, Trump has "emboldened"

Le Pen:
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/29/opinion/in-paris-worries-that-trump-will-embolden-le-pen.html
Abortion foes:
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/11/us/abortion-foes-donald-trump-restrictions-politics.html
"Those in the Cuban government who have always been suspicious of the Americans"
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/28/us/politics/cuba-trump-obama.html
The neo-Nazi Golden Dawn movement:
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/15/world/europe/greece-trump-debt-relief.html
"Extremist groups that say he has validated their agendas"
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/07/us/politics/donald-trump-extremist-supporters.html

and that is only 5 of over 2600 Times articles that mention both Trump and the word "embolden." There are also a huge number of publications attribute the recent anti-choice bills that are being filed literally everywhere at once to "emboldened" lawmakers. That's a whole lot of people reading the exact same motivations, and because the Times says it, the appeal to authority just kind of works.

This is literally how buzzwords form, and PR firms use them to measure their influence.

We're closing in on "OK Siri, show me 5 cell phone videos of Donald Trump and Leonardo Di Caprio robbing a bank." The technology to frame people for whatever you want is gonna be here before we know it. We HAVE to learn to trust each other. Remember that most people are pretty much good and kind of want not to hurt anyone. And accept that if you want to change anyone's mind, you have to overcome whatever cult indoctrinated them into their point of view, and you're not going to convince someone to leave the group that comforts them and validates all their opinions by yelling at them about how big of an idiot they are.

Lunch is ending or I'd give better examples but I guess seeya later, peace and love and stuff.

quote:

My mom accidentally posted a pretty risque photo of herself on facebook. She was wearing a dress and I guess the flash of the camera made it slightly see through. She didn't notice until a bunch of guys started posting comments like "Looking good Sherry! But it's a bit nipply out, eh?" on it. She deleted the photo within 24 hours of it being posted.

We live in a really small town though, and I was at work yesterday when a guy started asking me about my mom's breasts. We're both grown men so I told him to gently caress off. Now it has escalated and several guys at the office keep talking about it. Someone else also saved the photo and has been printing it up and posting it on the bathroom stall door.

As noted before - I'm a grown man in my 30s. My mom is 60 years old. I keep tellling these guys to gently caress off but again, small town with literally nothing else going on, so my senior mom's nipples are now a big deal.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 05:24

whiter than a Wilco show: Mar 30, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

Osric posted:

This would make more sense as a funny reworking of the Niemoller quote if the Nazis hadn't actually murdered shitloads of mentally retarded people. Like, in real life.

I'm sorry historical accuracy offends you Mr Trump.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 05:41

Idiot Kicker: Jun 13, 2007

I hope "Kane" is Kane. No one in WWE history toes the line between villain and favorite like him.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 05:57

alpaca diseases: May 19, 2009

I don't see how demongoon could have submitted that confession, since the completion of that wish sentence would have been enough of a technicality to count as actively wishing for it

What I'm trying to say is hail radioactive satan

# ? Jan 28, 2017 06:05

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

Dear Son of a GILF,

Own that poo poo. Start signing up your friends to granny-bang sites and make fun of them for wanting some hot senior action.

Sincerely,
A man who grew up with friends who told me how hot my mom was.
(I'm not microwave)

# ? Jan 28, 2017 08:23

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

post the picture

# ? Jan 28, 2017 10:52

8 Ball: Nov 27, 2010; My hands are all messed up so you better post, brother.

Newsgoon couldn't the recurrence of certain language just as easily be attributed to the fact that all of those articles were edited by the same person/people?

# ? Jan 28, 2017 13:42

klafbang: Nov 18, 2009; Clapping Larry

Many articles are actually generated. This is mostly for technical ones (e.g., stock reports, sports summaries, parts og tech reviews) for now. The Verge wrote about it: http://www.theverge.com/2015/1/29/7939067/ap-journalism-automation-robots-financial-reporting

# ? Jan 28, 2017 14:08

Fintilgin: Sep 29, 2004; Fintilgin sweeps!

The Management posted:

At least the wife memories one was believable (in that he's delusional). The genie one was just the monkey's paw except not very good.

I hope the wife memories is true, because it means I might wake up in a sane universe where I can go to the anonymous confessions thread and post about how I come from a parallel universe where Trump was president and everyone will laugh and tell me to make up a believable story next time.

And I'll just smile and sleep the sleep of the saved. :unsmith:

# ? Jan 28, 2017 14:33

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I am a paid vigilante.

I was in the army but burnt out pretty quick and went AWOL. Dishonorable discharge followed and I spent months doing nothing but being a waste of life, including living on the street for several weeks.

I got in to drugs at this point because I had nothing else in my life. Started using at first, then to pay off my debt I started pushing for a guy. Actually had some aptitude at that and started working security for my dealer. Long and boring story short, I have a cocaine habit now (NOT AN ADDICTION) but I'm clean and sober and free of addiction.

While working security for my dealer I had a few fights and raids on rival dealers. I really enjoyed that in a primal thrill way, like riding a rollercoaster or doing cocaine. So I made that my life.

I now act as a vigilante. I don't live in the best neighborhood, if you couldn't guess already. Most people are below the poverty line, so even the smallest crime can ruin a life. We also have a pretty nasty issue with heroin and I've seen firsthand how horrific addiction can be. So a lot of the people I seem to have to collect from are addicts whose entire lives are just based on scoring the next bit of heroin. Sad. I started with my trailer park - collecting debts, stuff like that. Our landlady had a few tenants that owed back rent, I beat them up and got the money for her. She gave me a small cut of it and helped me find more work. She also gave me a reduction on my own rent, which helped me buy more cocaine to keep my spirits up and force my tired butt in to the gym even after a 12 hour shift at work.

I'm in the best shape of my life now and my side hustle has helped me make a lot of powerful connections in my neighborhood. I've helped repo for the local used car dealer, and they gave me a hell of a deal on a pretty cherry used pickup. We also almost had a teacher's strike but I kiboshed that. Now the guy who manages our local Denny's hooks me up with free food and cocaine.

All in all, 10/10 job would do again.

it's like a really trailer-trash version of the Robert De Niro half of The Godfather Part 2

quote:

I was ripped off and financially and emotionally ruined by my wife. I have never told anyone the true story because it makes me look like an idiot.

A few years ago I gave up on dating Western women. Way too high maintenance, way too many issues, and a bunch of other things I don't need to discuss since you all know what I'm talking about. So I started looking at dating internationally, and found a beautiful girl from Malaysia. We started chatting online and despite the language barrier, got along extremely well. I flew out to visit her a few times and fell completely in love with her. She was everything I wanted - fit, healthy, devoted, caring, and with no unhealthy expectations of what a relationship was.

We had a short engagement and got married after that. A nice side effect was this expedited her becoming a citizen, although it's not like marriage = citizenship as some believe. We had a few months of wedded bliss. Then she became a citizen and things went badly.

We had agreed prior to marriage that we would follow the classic marriage example - I would be the breadwinner, she would take care of the house and eventually, the kids. I didn't forbid her from working, but I basically let her know that those duties are considered the most important and if she slacked on them due to work, there'd be problems. She agreed to this at the time.

Post marriage she started to get bored with her womanly duties and got really uppity. She kept the apartment clean, yeah, but dinner was subpar at best (she couldn't handle some American staples like fried chicken and kept putting way too many vegetables and spices in things) and our sex life wasn't great. She gifted me her virginity on our wedding night, which was awesome, but a bit traumatic for her. She was old for a virgin (19 if you can believe it) especially in the US, and I tried explaining that to her. But it was painful and long story short, she didn't like me eating her rear end or some of the kinkier stuff I enjoy. So it was plain vanilla sex once a week at best.

After the job stuff really picked up I suggested getting pregnant, which she refused. Skipping some painful stuff - the police were called that night and I spent the night in jail for some false charges which she later dropped. But it had started a crack in our relationship that couldn't be mended, no matter how hard I tried. I entertained the idea of her working from home or waiting a year to get pregnant, but she refused to cooperate. She, out of nowhere, divorced me after just about 15 months of marriage.

Now she took a bunch of my money, she's a US citizen, and she filed a PFA against me just to rub things in. This was a 3 years ago and it still stings. It's my 40th birthday in March and I haven't dated since because I'm still burnt by her and still pretty hosed up financially.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 15:24

Bhurak: Nov 12, 2007; Playing music in the key of HIP!; Fun Shoe

Small town anon: that is small town bullshit. You will continue to hear about it until something else happens. Your only hope is to wait for it to blow over or start making GBS threads in people's lunch boxes. You know what you need to do.

# ? Jan 28, 2017 15:27

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# ? May 10, 2024 14:18

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

i'm glad she owned you

# ? Jan 28, 2017 15:34

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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