|
Maybe just say 'Don't let the demon have my body' instead of killing yourself like a dumb pissbitch
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 14:53 |
|
|
# ? May 13, 2024 10:49 |
|
I like the pink liquid in a screw top cannister, that's a memorable detail.
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 14:59 |
|
At least the wife memories one was believable (in that he's delusional). The genie one was just the monkey's paw except not very good.
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 15:08 |
|
personally I love the crazy ghost and demon stories, they're way better than reading about some idiot's depression or cuck fantasy
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 15:10 |
|
quote:I have memories, which my therapists says are delusions, of being in love and married. Deep rooted memories, everything from our first date together to minor things like the way her hair smelled or the way she'd wrinkle her nose when she laughed really hard. These aren't dreams, I can vividly remember all of these things without fail. I have vague memories of other things; living in a crappy apartment, driving a car called a "Ford Sumada", and having money with John F Kennedy on it. All of those things I can dismiss as false memories or childhood dreams I'm remembering. But not her.
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 15:55 |
|
A Strange Aeon posted:I like the pink liquid in a screw top cannister, that's a memorable detail. Someone must have just watched Prince of Darkness
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 16:58 |
|
Or Ghostbusters II
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 17:06 |
|
A little delayed, but I will kill anyone who speaks badly about or is mean to Uli. He is my friend
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 17:41 |
|
My not anonymous confession is that I work from home (for now) and don't have anyone to talk to during the day unless it's mundane work crap. We're saving money for a move and have no money for social outings on the weekends so basically the only person I get to talk to is my wife and I probably shouldn't tell her this, but I'd totally bang Ivanka Trump. She's hot. OK, thanks.
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 17:51 |
|
Son of Man posted:personally I love the crazy ghost and demon stories, they're way better than reading about some idiot's depression or cuck fantasy Is a demon cucking fantasy really too much to ask for?
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 18:24 |
loquacius posted:I have memories, which my therapists says are delusions, of being in love and married. Deep rooted memories, everything from our first date together to minor things like the way her hair smelled or the way she'd wrinkle her nose when she laughed really hard. These aren't dreams, I can vividly remember all of these things without fail. I have vague memories of other things; living in a crappy apartment, driving a car called a "Ford Sumada", and having money with John F Kennedy on it. All of those things I can dismiss as false memories or childhood dreams I'm remembering. But not her.
|
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 18:24 |
|
Wizzle posted:My not anonymous confession is that I work from home (for now) and don't have anyone to talk to during the day unless it's mundane work crap. We're saving money for a move and have no money for social outings on the weekends so basically the only person I get to talk to is my wife and I probably shouldn't tell her this, but I'd totally bang Ivanka Trump. She's hot.
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 18:44 |
|
How special, you would have sex with a conventionally attractive woman! Truly a revelation.
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 18:49 |
|
quote:i extremely love andey dalton. He's good, in a way that I wouldn't hesitate to say is quite/very I assumed this was a drunk Bengals fan but I checked and the email came in at 8:30 AM (7:30 AM in Ohio) I'm sorry to break it to you, anon, but Andy Dalton is not even the best quarterback to not make the playoffs this year quote:About three years ago, while on a visit back to our hometown, my wife and I hung out with an old high school friend, Bill. We learned from Bill that he had just broken up with his girlfriend. It was a nasty breakup, with lots of vicious accusations and yelling. When we saw him, be had just found out that she was pregnant, and was keeping the baby. Bill was stressed and devastated. He told us that he working on getting back together with her. She had a daughter from a previous relationship that Bill was also close to. You absolutely should call CPS, you are correct in that Bill's life is godawful already but his son does not need to be caught up in this situation. Honestly the best move is probably to tell him to stop worrying about paying his father back and live in a loving apartment like a normal person. Threaten to call CPS if he does not, because he can't put his kid through this -- if that helps, it's 100% true. If he doesn't get on it, follow through on that.
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 18:52 |
|
remigious posted:How special, you would have sex with a conventionally attractive woman! Truly a revelation. Thanks for reaffirming that I'm not crazy. And for not being my wife and rolling your eyes at me and telling me to stop dreaming and help fold the laundry.
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 19:04 |
|
Wizzle posted:Thanks for reaffirming that I'm not crazy. And for not being my wife and rolling your eyes at me and telling me to stop dreaming and help fold the laundry. Thanks for continuing to prove that you are definitely not a misogynist.
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 19:12 |
|
Cutting off Bill is the right thing to do. Just be glad he's not family, because that's way harder.
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 19:14 |
|
loquacius posted:That'll show him, good pick Dangit, wish #3 is gonna cause a nuclear exchange with Russia.
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 19:14 |
|
remigious posted:Thanks for continuing to prove that you are definitely not a misogynist. uh hm *squints*
|
# ? Jan 27, 2017 19:15 |
|
Delusional disorder is as gently caress.
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 00:16 |
|
i watched my young cousin turn from a genius into a screaming imbecile because they hung out with a loud idiot every day so good call on that.
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 02:05 |
|
loquacius posted:Archeon is a dream I had the other day. It was an incredibly dystopian future; barren and sand everywhere. There was a room full of people; all minorities. We were getting shoved into chambers and sent into the past; I have no idea how I knew. I managed to escape, only to be stopped by a path of bullets and someone else managed to escape as well; seeing the future for what it was; barren as hell. If you're talking about black people their origins are in Africa, a continent full of black people, if you're talking about Asians their origins are in Asia, a continent full of Asian people. These are real places that exist, you can visit them. No other planets are involved. If you're saying what I think you're saying you are literally one of the most willfully ignorant people alive. Osric fucked around with this message at 02:41 on Jan 28, 2017 |
# ? Jan 28, 2017 02:10 |
|
Good for you, Bill's kid goon. My wife's nephew is that kid. He's 8 now, but we used to get him on weekends because his dad is a dumb retarded homeless deadbeat that keeps loving 17-year olds, leaving them and then not paying support (3 so far) . The kid, though, had to repeat kindergarten, shits his pants, shits standing up on the toilet, shits all over the bathroom, gave us all pinworms because he's constantly covered in poo poo particles, etc. Once he walked out and poo poo in the middle of our kitchen floor and also poo poo in my wife's makeup. One day he greeted his mom as he got off the school bus by handing her a handful of poo poo that he had just taken out of his pants. When he'd spend the night, we'd wake up to him licking our legs or back after he crawled into our bed at some point during the night. I'm 99% sure I caught him licking our dachshund's rear end in a top hat twice.... who he also loved to hit and kick. Since he hit 5 or so he cries if you don't surrender whatever electronic device your using to him so he can watch YouTube videos of other people playing video games because he's literally too lazy to play them himself even if you have the exact game. He also can't ride a bike and rarely goes outside. He couldn't read a single word by 7 and has horrible hygeine including what looks like meth mouth because he refuses to brush his teeth. We quit getting him after one weekend when he told us he hated our 3mo twins and poo poo all over our bathroom again for the umpteenth time. Now his grandma gets him because she thought we were making poo poo up or exaggerating and is going to quit getting him because "precious only child of my son's I'll ever be a part of their lives" is exactly as we described. But when you grow up in a lawless land, I guess that's how you turn out. tl;dr: Bill's friend, good job. We have an unhygienic, illiterate, abusive nephew that shits on everything and also don't want our twins influenced by his animalistic behavior. Your kid shouldn't be subjected to that either sort of thing either.
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 02:23 |
|
Exceptional Transperson posted:Good for you, Bill's kid goon. My wife's nephew is that kid. He's 8 now, but we used to get him on weekends because his dad is a dumb retarded homeless deadbeat that keeps loving 17-year olds, leaving them and then not paying support (3 so far) . The kid, though, had to repeat kindergarten, shits his pants, shits standing up on the toilet, shits all over the bathroom, gave us all pinworms because he's constantly covered in poo poo particles, etc. Once he walked out and poo poo in the middle of our kitchen floor and also poo poo in my wife's makeup. One day he greeted his mom as he got off the school bus by handing her a handful of poo poo that he had just taken out of his pants.
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 02:48 |
|
They came for the retards, and I said nothing, because I was, in fact, retarded.
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 03:00 |
|
Then they came for my animes. And while there were still several people, No one was willing to speak for me.
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 03:08 |
|
Osric posted:It sounds like this kid is autistic or has an intellectual disability. Fair enough if you're not up to caring for him but you seem to be describing a mentally retarded child as if he existed solely to spite you. That's not the case. No, he's been tested multiple times and they diagnosed him with is ADHD which his mom only medicates M-F to save money. He's also been tested by the special education department at his elementary school multiple times at the request of his mother and doesn't have any learning disabilities or at least not enough to get an IEP which I can tell you that in this area are a dime a dozen. He just lives in a dirty house with no rules where his grandparents beat their dog, has a revolving cast of housemates, and can poo poo in/on whatever he wants.
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 03:09 |
|
Exceptional Transperson posted:No, he's been tested multiple times and they diagnosed him with is ADHD which his mom only medicates M-F to save money. He's also been tested by the special education department at his elementary school multiple times at the request of his mother and doesn't have any learning disabilities or at least not enough to get an IEP which I can tell you that in this area are a dime a dozen. whiter than a Wilco show posted:They came for the retards, and I said nothing, because I was, in fact, retarded. Osric fucked around with this message at 04:16 on Jan 28, 2017 |
# ? Jan 28, 2017 04:13 |
|
quote:I dunno if this is the place for tinfoil but I'm pretty sure the news is gradually being taken over by robots, and we're making them smarter by being lovely to each other over the internet. quote:My mom accidentally posted a pretty risque photo of herself on facebook. She was wearing a dress and I guess the flash of the camera made it slightly see through. She didn't notice until a bunch of guys started posting comments like "Looking good Sherry! But it's a bit nipply out, eh?" on it. She deleted the photo within 24 hours of it being posted.
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 05:24 |
|
Osric posted:
I'm sorry historical accuracy offends you Mr Trump.
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 05:41 |
|
I hope "Kane" is Kane. No one in WWE history toes the line between villain and favorite like him.
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 05:57 |
|
I don't see how demongoon could have submitted that confession, since the completion of that wish sentence would have been enough of a technicality to count as actively wishing for it What I'm trying to say is hail radioactive satan
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 06:05 |
|
Dear Son of a GILF, Own that poo poo. Start signing up your friends to granny-bang sites and make fun of them for wanting some hot senior action. Sincerely, A man who grew up with friends who told me how hot my mom was. (I'm not microwave)
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 08:23 |
|
post the picture
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 10:52 |
|
Newsgoon couldn't the recurrence of certain language just as easily be attributed to the fact that all of those articles were edited by the same person/people?
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 13:42 |
|
Many articles are actually generated. This is mostly for technical ones (e.g., stock reports, sports summaries, parts og tech reviews) for now. The Verge wrote about it: http://www.theverge.com/2015/1/29/7939067/ap-journalism-automation-robots-financial-reporting
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 14:08 |
|
The Management posted:At least the wife memories one was believable (in that he's delusional). The genie one was just the monkey's paw except not very good. I hope the wife memories is true, because it means I might wake up in a sane universe where I can go to the anonymous confessions thread and post about how I come from a parallel universe where Trump was president and everyone will laugh and tell me to make up a believable story next time. And I'll just smile and sleep the sleep of the saved.
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 14:33 |
|
quote:I am a paid vigilante. it's like a really trailer-trash version of the Robert De Niro half of The Godfather Part 2 quote:I was ripped off and financially and emotionally ruined by my wife. I have never told anyone the true story because it makes me look like an idiot.
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 15:24 |
|
Small town anon: that is small town bullshit. You will continue to hear about it until something else happens. Your only hope is to wait for it to blow over or start making GBS threads in people's lunch boxes. You know what you need to do.
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 15:27 |
|
|
# ? May 13, 2024 10:49 |
|
i'm glad she owned you
|
# ? Jan 28, 2017 15:34 |