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Ick... Ick ick ick ick ick
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Jan 28, 2017 00:18
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| # ? May 14, 2024 16:58 |
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My boyfriend tries to be clean, but he still smells within a few hours. He doesn't take me very seriously or just doesn't have time to shower again. It's gross, to say the least. What's the fix here? Back Story He's gained a lot of weight since we first met. Maybe ~60 lbs. Before that he was slightly plump, but overall pretty fit. I'm not sure happened exactly, but he smells worse and worse. Not in the way that standing next to him you would realize it. More like, if there is air circulation between his legs. He was taking a shower every other day (gag), then he started taking one every morning, which doesn't last until he gets home. Seriously. I was in bed with him talking about his new Eclipse Phase campaigns, and when I slightly opened the covers I was like "OMG YOU SMELL." to which he was like "Really? I took a shower this morning and I got back so late..." I really don't want to be annoying, but it makes me feel like he's gross. Like I said, it's really the crotch area. I told him he should wet wipe himself everywhere thoroughly every time he goes pee, but he thinks I'm being a little ridiculous. Before we do anything, I have to insist that he takes a shower. I know some people are like "But what about spontaneity?" Those people have clearly not smelled what I smell. While I can't describe it, I would liken it to really smelly feet mixed with cheap beef jerky. Pungent, irritating, floor-clearing. Of course, only within 3 feet of the crotch area. I feel like if had sex without him showering, I would get an infection or something. Is it too much for me to insist that he showers twice a day? Is this something that happens to overweight people? Part of the problem might also be that my boyfriend is self conscious. He doesn't want to believe that I think he smells that bad. Something needs to change, though. Our bed smells...well, pretty terrible. This morning when I was sleeping, I guess a part of the blanket that had been near his crotch ended up on my face. The smell actually woke me up. What I want My boyfriend to take a shower in the morning and at night, even on days off, so that our bed doesn't stink and so that I can feel like he's still sexy. Tl;Dr: My boyfriend smells and doesn't want to believe that 2 showers a day are 100% necessary. It's affecting my attraction to him, but I don't want to hurt his feelings because he's pretty self conscious and thinks I'm being too naggy about this. Any advice would be great.
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Jan 28, 2017 00:21
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Pick posted:I like how they can't even specify beyond the most elementary descriptions of vast concepts because, son of a bitch, they don't actually know what a lepton is I have no idea what a lepton is, which is why I would love to talk about it with someone who was stoked to be talking about it. Pick posted:actually I'll talk about alien sex magic Alien sex magic is pretty boring unless you draw some clear boundaries and laws/rules of operations. With some framework to play with, it sounds like it might be a droll conversation. Otherwise you're just playing pretend in an empty box with a doodle of a Grey in a wizard hat on the side. The alien has boobs and a wiener. That could still be a really fun convo with anyone, but would depend a lot more on your personal rapport with one another. You'd be relying a lot more on riffing and jamming on each other's poo poo on the fly. Pick posted:I like the idea of a discussion where I get to learn all your flaws, insecurities, and fears Yeah, if I'm having that kinda convo, I'm definitely chucking some of mine out first. It's only fair.
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Jan 28, 2017 00:22
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Gross smelling dude needs to lose 60 pounds.
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Jan 28, 2017 00:23
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I stopped reading the moment I saw "Act I", someone tl;dr
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Jan 28, 2017 00:24
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This is that goon who was against washing his balls, I am sure of it.
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Jan 28, 2017 00:26
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NurhacisUrn posted:This is that goon who was against washing his balls, I am sure of it. Oh god, why? Unwashed nuts get real uncomfortable real quick. If you wash nothing else, at least wash your cock and balls. Was he convinced women lusted after his musk?
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Jan 28, 2017 00:29
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54 40 or gently caress posted:I stopped reading the moment I saw "Act I", someone tl;dr You uh should probably just read that one, gently caress
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Jan 28, 2017 00:31
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Pvt.Scott posted:Oh god, why? Unwashed nuts get real uncomfortable real quick. If you wash nothing else, at least wash your cock and balls. Here they reference it, I'm having trouble finding the OG thread. NurhacisUrn fucked around with this message at 00:41 on Jan 28, 2017 |
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Jan 28, 2017 00:32
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purple death ray posted:You uh should probably just read that one, gently caress Yeah, I hope he doesn't rape her again 
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Jan 28, 2017 00:35
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I bet that guy doesn't properly drain his dick after pissing which means leftover piss basically wicks out of dick into his underwear and marinates there all day. Life pro tip: press under your balls and it pushes the extra piss out real easy. Or even better, just piss in a stall and dap the tip with some toilet paper after you're done. Clean and good.
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Jan 28, 2017 00:36
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lazorexplosion posted:I bet that guy doesn't properly drain his dick after pissing which means leftover piss basically wicks out of dick into his underwear and marinates there all day. Life pro tip: press under your balls and it pushes the extra piss out real easy. Or even better, just piss in a stall and dap the tip with some toilet paper after you're done. Clean and good. What is the rest of your day like when you waste this much time thinking about peeing techniques?
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Jan 28, 2017 00:38
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NurhacisUrn posted:Yes. I can't remember the name of the thread though, but he got pretty wrecked for several pages and everyone followed him around asking about his smelly balls. Was this the same person or distinct from the goon who believed his jizz made a powerful pheromone musk with which he could attract women?
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Jan 28, 2017 00:38
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Barudak posted:Was this the same person or distinct from the goon who believed his jizz made a powerful pheromone musk with which he could attract women? "any day now..."
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Jan 28, 2017 00:41
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Snatch Duster posted:My boyfriend tries to be clean, but he still smells within a few hours. 
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Jan 28, 2017 00:41
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WampaLord posted:What is the rest of your day like when you waste this much time thinking about peeing techniques? "10 seconds?! Hygiene is too time consuming for me!"
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Jan 28, 2017 00:43
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Barudak posted:Was this the same person or distinct from the goon who believed his jizz made a powerful pheromone musk with which he could attract women? Distinct. https://archives.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3762589&userid=195605 NurhacisUrn fucked around with this message at 01:04 on Jan 28, 2017 |
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Jan 28, 2017 00:43
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Jesus...
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Jan 28, 2017 00:44
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lazorexplosion posted:"10 seconds?! Hygiene is too time consuming for me!" It takes you ten seconds to get rid of the dribbles? What gauge is your dickhole? 00?
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Jan 28, 2017 00:45
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Pvt.Scott posted:It takes you ten seconds to get rid of the dribbles? What gauge is your dickhoke? 00? No, I meant 10 seconds writing the post about how not to have a smelly dick.
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Jan 28, 2017 00:46
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Apparently we're not the only ones who pull crazy stories from reddit: http://www.thegailygrind.com/2017/01/25/girlfriend-seeks-advice-boyfriend-admits-penis-fetish-fondness-gay-porn/
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Jan 28, 2017 00:48
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I'm not gay, I just have a fetish for men, babe.
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Jan 28, 2017 00:51
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no matter how much you squirm or dance, a drop always goes down your pants. edit: or is in your pants i don't remember the rhyme all that well
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Jan 28, 2017 00:54
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I knew it would be under ten minutes before a goon started pushing back against basic hygiene tips but two minutes really hit it out the park.
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Jan 28, 2017 00:57
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Pick posted:6 star hotel They only go up to 5, though?
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Jan 28, 2017 01:22
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This guy's outrage makes me physically ill.
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Jan 28, 2017 01:26
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lazorexplosion posted:"10 seconds?! Hygiene is too time consuming for me!" 
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Jan 28, 2017 01:27
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Beachcomber posted:They only go up to 5, though? They aren't always regulated. I walked by a (seemingly quite opulent; there was a helipad) hotel that advertised 6 stars in Beijing, and there's one in Dubai that advertises itself as 7.
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Jan 28, 2017 01:28
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Subjunctive posted:They aren't always regulated. I walked by a (seemingly quite opulent; there was a helipad) hotel that advertised 6 stars in Beijing, and there's one in Dubai that advertises itself as 7. Yeah there are star scales based on specific sets of amenities. Anything beyond five isn't really regulated. With that said, any hotel claiming 6+ is generally very impressive. Hotels that self rate are normally pretty honest with it.
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Jan 28, 2017 01:34
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Snatch Duster posted:My boyfriend tries to be clean, but he still smells within a few hours. OK so like, this guy might have an actual disorder? I used to work with a guy who had some sort of condition where he sweat a lot more than normal people and it smelled a lot worse. It didn't really matter that much because we had a shower at work and he would take a break halfway through the day to shower but he told me that he took something like an average of four to six showers a day depending on if he worked out or not. The other option is that he could have one of several forms of infection but if he's getting laid I'd assume this girl would notice.
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Jan 28, 2017 01:37
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pisschat is FTW. let's take the next several pages talking about, piss
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Jan 28, 2017 01:39
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Dude should consider glycopyrrolate. Drastically reduces sweating with limited side effects, just don't stand in direct sunlight for too long or you'll overheat
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Jan 28, 2017 01:41
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If you have piss in your underpants the Trumps will get you.
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Jan 28, 2017 01:43
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WampaLord, let me get this straight: you can't stop farting or sneezing and you don't waste time cleaning your dick. See a doctor.
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Jan 28, 2017 02:37
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Tiny Deer posted:WampaLord, let me get this straight: you can't stop farting or sneezing and you don't waste time cleaning your dick. tiny deer, maybe our standards are unreasonable hmmmm?
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Jan 28, 2017 02:40
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I love cleaning my dirty dick
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Jan 28, 2017 02:42
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I wash myself inside the bodies of my women.
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Jan 28, 2017 02:45
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Tiny Deer posted:WampaLord, let me get this straight: you can't stop farting or sneezing and you don't waste time cleaning your dick. I clean my dick fine, dude is talking about weird peeing techniques that seem pointless. I pee, it's fine, my dick is fine, everyone please stop talking about it. Also I sneeze/fart pretty rarely, I just don't have this magical ability to decide to never fart or sneeze that most people apparently have.
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Jan 28, 2017 02:45
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Tiny Deer posted:WampaLord, let me get this straight: you can't stop farting or sneezing and you don't waste time cleaning your dick. You are just such a judgmental and hateful person. I can't even...I can't even breathe right now. Your level of aggression is very inappropriate. I'm going to have to ask you to leave. T-T
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Jan 28, 2017 02:45
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WampaLord posted:I clean my dick fine, dude is talking about weird peeing techniques that seem pointless. me thinks the goon doth protest too much
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Jan 28, 2017 02:46
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