quote:

Me [25F] with my workaholic date [28M] - 4 months. Should I cut my losses and move on?Dating
11 points 9 comments submitted 1 year ago by sofriggenconfused to /r/relationships

I met a guy online in March, we'll call him Brian. We went on about 3 dates before I had to leave town for a month on family business. All pretty awesome dates, I slept over, we were intimate, etc. We have not discussed exclusivity so it's safe to assume we're just dating.

Brian and I continued to stay in contact when I was gone, yet I couldn't see him when I came back because he was so consumed by studying for the bar exam. I gave him his space, contacting him every now and then to check up on him. He has a very stressful job where I think he chooses to work overtime because he's so drat ambitious, even working on the weekends. I really like this trait in him but it makes me question how he will ever manage a healthy relationship with someone, let alone with me, if he continues to put all this unnecessary work stress on himself. I really, really do like him and I'm positive he likes me back.

This past Thursday I was supposed to see him. The day before, I texted him asking what the plans were going to be, but he didn't respond and as someone who's naturally anxious, I kind of started freaking out. He finally texted back late afternoon on the day of the date, apologizing and saying he was "so swamped at work." His company got sued and he's running half the legal department this week. I told him it was okay, that I'm glad he didn't blow me off. When he was done work we texted back and forth til midnight, and set a date for Saturday night.

And guess who didn't have a date last night? Again he was working. Now, I'm not saying I'm his priority; we're just dating! But I texted him yesterday asking him what was going to happen that night, and he didn't reply until quarter to 9, apologizing with the work excuse again. So I asked him if that meant that the date wasn't going to happen, and he didn't reply. I then just gave up, took off all my makeup, and went to sleep upset and hurt.

Reddit, I feel incredibly disrespected. I have psyched myself up for these dates and have been disappointed both times. We haven't seen each other for 2 months, and I will not see him for another month starting next week (family business again!). I'm not exactly hurt with the dates not happening; I'm more disappointed in the way both nights were handled. I was kept in the dark for hours on end until the last minute until I got the work excuse. I couldn't sleep because of how hurt I was, so at 5am I texted him saying that I needed to get the fact off my chest that I'm disappointed.

There has been no reply since yet, it's only Sunday morning so I assume he could still be sleeping (or working...). All I know is that I shouldn't feel like this after only a few months of dating. But I'm naive and want to give this guy a chance because it's not his fault his work is putting all this stress on him. You may quote the sunk cost fallacy here but I really, really do like this guy, we're really compatible. Should I just try and talk to him about how I'm feeling? I don't even know how I could get a hold of him, I sent three texts after he gave me the work excuse and I don't want to seem desperate, but at this point I almost couldn't give less of a gently caress anymore. What should I say and how should I phrase it? I'm just so tired of being disappointed in every aspect of life and then having a good thing happen to me like Brian, and then being disappointed...again.

tl;dr Guy I'm dating is a workaholic and was so "swamped with work" that he couldn't go through both of the dates we set up. Not sure if I should just say gently caress it and move on.

Antivehicular posted:

Also, how goddamn thirsty do you have to be to hear "my GF of two months broke up with me and then I stalked her for a year" and still date the person involved? Jesus loving Christ.

Pick posted:

WampaLord posted:

This one isn't nearly as bad because at least he didn't loving marry her and knock her up, she can just dump his dumb workaholic rear end.

quote:

me [23f] am i asking too much of my workaholic boyfriend [28m]?Relationships
11 points 8 comments submitted 1 year ago by mittkitt8383 to /r/relationships

Im 23 and my boyfriend is 28. we've been together for a year and a half now, and from the beginning I knew he was a workaholic.

Hes a carpenter and works full time for a company and he also works for himself on weekends and after his full time job. So as you can imagine his work day can be pretty long and stressful. He works every weekend for himself, doing different projects. on top of his jobs hes also a landlord, he owns two apartment buildings. I truly admire his work ethic, hes helped me to be a better person in so many ways. I really do look up to him, he works so hard and I really appreciate that.

But...our relationship and me in general is always on the back burner. Since the beginning its been that way. I do feel neglected and really lonely in the relationship sometimes. Im always home alone on the weekends and usually during the week after work. The only time I get to spend with him is a few hours at night. and usually then he doesnt have time for me. There are never any plans made, ever. No weekend plans, no vacation plans, nothing. we literally dont go anywhere together. It sucks seeing my friends do fun things with their boyfriends and the most I get is watching a tv show with him on the couch before bed. I feel like a 23yo housewife, which I dont mind. But we live like were married with kids. Were both young and child free, we should be spending time together enjoying our life before we do have kids and are tied down with those responsibilities.

You may think that im being needy and dramatic, but the funny thing is hes always too busy to do anything with me but if a buddy of his hits him up to get a drink at the bar or have a beer at our house, hes all over it. He has no problem inviting a buddy over to have a beer or 12. His free time is spent with his buddys, doesnt even give a thought to do anything with me.

Ive brought it up to him that I would like him to be better at balancing his home life and work life. I absolutely dont feel like a priority. Theres always an excuse with him, and I end up feeling guilty because I feel like im nagging and be unreasonable and that I should be more supportive. Which im very supportive by the way, I work in interior design and I would like to work with him one day. He actually told me that he doesnt have the money to do things with me right now....what does that mean?? all I want is his time, just even a day together on the weekend to go hiking or some fun bonding adventure. I dont know, am I being a bitch for wanting to be in a real relationship rather than feeling like a roommate?

May I also add, the fact that im in the design field he sees our relationship as an "investment", I thinks hes more interested in making money with me than being with me and loving me as a person.

tl;dr: My Boyfriend is a workaholic, and doesnt seem to appreciate our relationship. He doesnt understand how to balance work and relationship.

quote:

Me [29F] with my live-in boyfriend [29M] of 9 months, I don't know if I can handle his inane (to me) workaholic lifestyle.Relationships
submitted 10 months ago * by 48hoursandcounting

**ETA: Title was supposed to say insane. I suppose inane works as well....

My boyfriend Jake and I have been together for 9 months, living together for 6 of them. We've known each other for a year and a half. As I write this, he's been at work for 50 hours and counting. He was supposed to come home for an hour last night to refresh, but didn't show. I don't know if this difference in values is something that can be overcome.

I've always known that Jake has ambition and drive. It attracted me to him. I respect that he is a hard worker and will do what needs to be done to get where he wants to go. The problem is, when we got together, he was working a job where he didn't see a future. Shortly after we moved in, he got a new job where he anticipates growth. Everything...EVERYTHING...changed.

His job uses him. He works shift work, and he's CONSTANTLY put into situations where he's set up to fail. They have an event coming up, which has resulted in him working something like 25 days in a row (voluntarily, including this current 50 hour stretch). If you have to work (no overtime pay) for over 50 hours straight to be successful, you shouldn't be in that job. That's my very strong opinion.

When we started dating, our sex life was great. Then it crashed and burned to NOTHING. When I've expressed this, he's accused me of thinking sex is everything or thinking that everything is always going to be perfect. We've had sex once or twice in the last three months. He tells me it's because I don't initiate (which I'm working on), but how do you initiate when your partner is always exhausted, or at work, or feeling sick because he's at work so much that all he eats is poo poo?

We don't sleep in the same bed. He sleeps on the couch every single night because he wakes up early and goes to bed late (if he's at home). I've asked him to share a bed with me. That's happened once in the last two months. Any time I bring anything up, he gets SO defensive. SO DEFENSIVE. I don't know how to get around that. I get made to feel guilty for 'not supporting' him. And you know what? No, I don't support him anymore. I think he's making terrible decisions for himself and for us. I tried to support him for a long time and wound up giving all of myself and feeling unvalued and unwanted. While I was supporting him, when I brought up my concerns (in a nice way, honestly) it all got turned around on me.

When he wasn't a workaholic, we were fantastic. We still have our moments. I thought he was the one, everything was different with him. He warned me that when he started his new job he would work a lot of hours, but I didn't anticipate this. I feel like my own boyfriend doesn't want me. Sex is huge to me. I've been in a sexless relationship before and I don't want that. I feel like he devalues it so that he doesn't have to try, or feel guilty.

My biggest concern is that every time he finishes one mountain at work, something else is thrown at him. Will this ever change? Even when he gets promoted (I'm sure it'll happen), his work will be similar.

I love him. I love him as a person. I hate the decisions he's making and the lifestyle he's choosing for himself, and for us. I get working hard, I do. I just....I don't know if I can handle this.

Has anyone been in a situation like this before? Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this? My coping right now is basically to not give a poo poo about what he's doing or what he's up to, but then I start crying that that's what my relationship has become. I think it's ridiculous that he's been at work for over two days, but at the same time, I don't care.
Has anyone been through anything like this before?

tl;dr: My boyfriend works insane hours. I hate it, he knows I hate it, and it's negatively impacting our relationship (to the point of zero sex). Is it worth waiting out the current fiasco at work, or are our values too different to overcome?

quote:

[UPDATE] Me [29F] with my live-in boyfriend [29M] of 9 months, I don't know if I can handle his insane (to me) workaholic lifestyle.Updates
397 points 64 comments submitted 10 months ago by 48hoursandcounting to /r/relationships

Original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4b4mkt/me_29f_with_my_livein_boyfriend_29m_of_9_months_i/
tl;dr of original: Bf works a lot. I didn't know if I could handle it.

We broke up. One night at 7:00 he woke up after another incredibly long shift, and I was crying. I said that I thought we may be incompatible with our lifestyles and priorities. That I wanted to make it work, if we could find a way, but we seemed so different.

After going out for a smoke, he came back and started looking up rental apartments on his computer. Right in front of me. Without saying a word.

I called him out on it. Asked him what kind of person did that without even saying a word to their girlfriend. He told me I'd already made the decision that we didn't work, that our lifestyles were too different. I told him that no, I said I wanted to make it work. I asked if he had any solutions....he said nothing. I asked if I was going to always be the only person to come up with solutions, because that puts a lot of pressure on me. He said "No, I get it, you feel like I don't exist, you're making me feel like poo poo, I get it."

I kept emphasizing that I wanted to find a way to make it work. He asked me what I would do if things got worse. He asked "What would you do, cry every day and yell at me?"

That's when I told him I was done. I was done being the bad guy for having feelings. I was done being the only person trying. I was done being blamed for everything, from lack of sex (my fault for being so terrible with how I initiate) to me beating him home on my birthday (apparently I left work early so he couldn't have my present ready? Even though I didn't and I wasn't remotely upset about it?)

And we're done. He's moved out. I'm devastated but also relieved...I'm not always wondering when my boyfriend is going to be home, and how I can make our time count. I'm not always wondering if we're going to work out, because I know we won't. Despite crying a lot at work today, I feel lighter...I feel more optimistic. I DESPERATELY miss how we were when he wasn't working all the time...but that was so long ago, it feels like that relationship already died.

I want to thank everyone for their advice. We just weren't compatible, and you were right...it wasn't just the work life that was doing it. It was the inability to communicate. I deserve better than being accused of "making him feel like poo poo" any time I express an emotion other than joy about being with him. I'm proud of myself.

tl;dr: We broke up.

quote:

I [21 F] am sexually frustrated because my bf[34M] says he too stressed and tired to have sex

My bf have been together for 3 years on and off. We got back together officially on March 2016 and I moved in with him on April 2016. At that time, we had sex everyday and he couldn't keep his hands off of me.

Now he barely even touches me, but I continue to blow him every day. This has become a pattern and I've asked him if he could be more affectionate and have sex with me again. Unfortunately, he shuts me down saying that he's too tired and stressed from work. I'm understanding but it's getting really difficult for me.

As a result, I have been lusting after and fantasizing about different guys that I meet. I recently had a really cute Lyft driver 2 weeks ago and the conversation led to the subject of sex under the influence. I felt so guilty because I love my boyfriend and I don't want to think about other guys like this. We are open with each other about people that we find hot when we go out, but this particular situation felt wrong to me. Even after telling my bf the conversation I had with this driver, I felt weird.

What do I do to fix this? Is this my fault?

tl;dr: My bf tells me I'm beautiful everyday but says he's too tired from work to have sex with me. Now I always fantasize about having sex with attractive guys that I know or meet.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

normally the 'shocking realization other people masturbate' ones are gold but yeah there's something kinda weird and unnerving about silently cranking away right next to a sleeping partner

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

lol somebody posted this in the last relationships thread and it spawned a huge derail. I also find it creepy and would never do it.

Gaunab posted:

Now he barely even touches me, but I continue to blow him every day.

LGD posted:

what if it's really cold outside the covers/bedroom and you're simultaneously tired and horny?

Antivehicular posted:

"I'm too tired and stressed from work to give pleasure, but definitely not too tired to receive it. Let me just lie back and make those faint, unnerving groaning noises that I know turn you on so much."

quote:

My (41/M) husband of 3 years has become a workaholic and is mad that I (37/f) will not work overtime.Relationships
780 points 149 comments submitted 6 months ago by Nootforme to /r/relationships

My husband and I have been married for 3 years, together for 7 total. It is my first marriage, his second, and we do not have children by choice.

He works in the tech industry and I am an ER nurse. He makes much more money than I do but I have always been really good with finances so I brought more assets into the relationship.

About 2 years ago now he was offered a job with a significant increase in pay. Unfortunately it was with a company that is pretty notorious for expecting its employees work crazy hours and pretty much devote their life to work. I was hesitant about him working there because of this but he was really excited about the opportunity. He took the job but we both agreed that if it took over his life and affected our marriage he would leave. Obviously that has not been the case...

He now makes considerably more money than I do and works insane hours. His typical work week is 70ish hours and when they have special projects he can end up working over 100 hours in a week. Meanwhile I work 3 12 hour shifts a week and pick up one mandatory day of overtime a month.

Due to a shortage of staff my work calls me constantly to pick up overtime. I always decline. I have been a nurse since I was 23 and have found that working more than my current schedule quickly leads to me feeling burned out and my work suffering.

Before my husband sold his soul to his current employer he was fine with me not picking up extra shifts. Now he has become increasingly frustrated by me not working more hours. He will make little comments about how he is slaving away so I can lead the good life. If he comes home and I am doing something relaxing I have to listen to a martyrdom rant about how he never gets any rest and it must be nice, etc etc. I have nieces and nephews that live far from me and I like to fly out to visit them every other month or so. This never bothered him before but now he complains about my "jet setting" lifestyle that he is paying for.

Meanwhile, since he is never home I do 100% of all cooking, cleaning, shopping, yard work and pet care. I do not slack in this area so it is not like he is coming home to a messy house and me laying around. I consider myself a good housekeeper and keep our place clean.

The strangest part is that we do not need any extra money. We have no credit card debt, both our cars are paid off, and we have income from rental properties that covers our mortgage. We could both quit our jobs tomorrow and be fine. His argument is that we can retire early and it is stupid to leave money on the table. I feel like it is ridiculous to make myself miserable for an uncertain future. Especially because we are not hurting financially. He says I feel like that because I have the luxury of his income.

It has gotten to the point where I am avoiding being home when he is there and awake. We only see eachother in passing now and even then I have to listen to him complain about his job and imply that I am lazy. I have suggested counseling and he scoffed at the idea and refused. I feel like my marriage has completely collapsed and I don't even know my husband anymore. I want to make a last ditch effort to talk to him about quitting his job or at lease working fewer hours. I am unsure of the best way to approach this and would appreciate any input on the best way to get my point across and make sure he understands how miserable I am with the state of our marriage.

tl;dr My husband works crazy hours and is mad that I won't do the same. He has refused counseling. What is the best way for me to approach him when telling him I cannot continue to live like this?

Pick posted:

check out this bastard too:

quote:

Help me (23f) with my very irrational jealousy of boyfriend's (23m) past

So, I already know this is practically an unwarranted feeling, but I hate it and I would like to know if any of you have had similar feelings and how you got over this.

My boyfriend was more experienced than me sexually before we met, and I was verrry inexperienced. We have been dating for over 2.5 years now and I really expected that this jealousy would have dissipated by now, but it still occasionally rears its ugly head. AND IT IS SO IRRATIONAL! And that is because we were both virgins before we got together, we were eachother's first to have oral and PIV sex, yet I have this gross jealous feeling about him getting handjobs from his high school girlfriend. He never had intercourse with them yet sometimes I get these intrusive thoughts about him fingering her, her reciprocating with a hj, where they did it, how he felt emotionally towards her etc. I realize that this possibly stems from my naivete with sexual activities. It eats me up inside and makes me feel sick. I don't "try" to think these thoughts, they just pop up out of nowhere.

He is a great boyfriend and has given me no reasons to doubt his feelings or trustworthiness, and I do not judge him for his past. I don't bring it up to him, but in the past it has come out in conversation that I had anxiety and insecurities over this issue and he is very reassuring that he loves me and sees marriage and old age with me. I want to be that great girlfriend back, and I don't want to feel this way. How can I get over this?

tl;dr: I have horrible irrational jealousies over the fact that my boyfriend fingered/got handjobs from his girlfriend back in high school, and I need help on how to not be jealous and insecure.

quote:

I (23F) need help coping with my fiance's (23M) stressful job and his lack of work-life balance.Relationships
1 point 43 comments submitted 6 months ago by missmyfiance to /r/relationships

My fiance and I have been together for five years, and got engaged after we graduated college last year. We left our family homes and moved in together. We're both far from our families, on the east coast instead of the midwest. I go to grad school and work full time, and he works full time.

My fiance is in the programming field and is very very busy. Not only does he work ten hours a day at the office, plus a 45 minute commute each way, he takes work home with him and usually stays up with it until he passes out on the couch or in bed. He takes breaks every now and then to eat with me, but he's usually always thinking about work. When we talk, he either just listens to me (I've always been more of a talker, but he always used to seem interested before) or he talks about work (I don't mind it, but it's mostly complaining).

We don't have as much quality time anymore. We used to cook together but I do it by myself now. We do date nights once a month or so, but he always seems distracted and the dates end up being bland. We've been living together for a year and haven't had sex in about seven or eight months. To be fair I haven't really asked, because I don't want to bother him. But sometimes it feels like he just doesn't notice me anymore.

I know I should bring this up with him, but he's trying his best to do well in his career and provide for us. The industry is really competitive and most of the programmers his age aren't tied down by a girl. I sometimes feel I'm holding him back. But every morning as he leaves for work, he hugs me and kisses me and thanks me for everything I do, that he promises things will get better and that he misses me. I can see how genuinely stressed and tired he is. It's not even like he doesn't do anything around the house, he definitely pulls his weight on the weekends (laundry, dishes, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc). He also always encourages me to spend time with my friends and on my hobbies. He's a wonderful man, and I miss him.

What do I do about this?

tl;dr: Fiance is a workaholic but extremely caring, yet I miss quality time with him. Am I being too needy?

Pick posted:

why is it always people in tech

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

I'm confused by how many guys do this though. Is it actually employers forcing this on their employees? I've seen a lot of employees get obsessed with their work because it makes them feel important. Is that it?

Pick posted:

That's kind of what I mean though, why is it somehow ok in their work culture to expect 60-70 hour weeks?

Mak0rz posted:

nerds are doormats and their bosses that work 30h/week can tell them to work during every waking hour and they'll say yes

Mak0rz posted:

nerds are doormats and their bosses that work 30h/week can tell them to work during every waking hour and they'll say yes

Gaunab posted:

Pick posted:

evvery man wants sex from evvry woman

C.H.O.M.E posted:

Did I miss hunting chat? The rich white person version of hunting is spear fishing while scuba diving in the Caribbean, you should do that.

quote:

Now first of all I know what most would say is just to let her pediatrician express any concerns. Well I recently asked about that, and she hasn't been to the doctor in 6 months, nor is she going for another 10 months.
When I asked the mom (Let's say linda) why, she said and I quote directly "They usually do an appointment in between, but if the kid is advanced enough they won't do it"
What?! I'm pretty sure she completely made that up because she gets insecure about her daughter being seemingly a bit behind.
Now anyways this child is at risk, I am not a professional but I have a child the same age and my sister is a child development specialist and sped teacher (not working currently however).
So these are the things that concern me:
She has NEVER laughed. She started smiling finally after she became a toddler but never has laughed.
She NEVER cries. She shrieks.
She never gets sad, or super excited, or anything. She either smiles half-heartedly or is shrieking because she is upset.
She says 0 words. Rarely, she will say mama.
She engages in "stimming" which is a behavior where she repeats a sound (or action) over and over, DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH. Her parents think she is making "animal noises" I think it's stimming.
She does not answer her name. I had a chance to babysit her alone recently and I tested it all the way to the point of screaming her name right next to her, nothing.
Her only communication is pointing
And I do know for a fact that these are her regular behaviors. She walked early, but all the social milestones she has missed by a long shot.
She recently asked me how to teach her daughter to talk because my son is 2 months younger but uses sentences. I told her we didn't teach him really he just picked it up and I used this point to express concern and mention she should talk to her doctor. That's when I found out she isn't going for a long time. It is not normal.
What doctor would tell a mom her daughter is way too advanced for a doctor's appointment? Is she not getting her vaccines? Like what?!
This girl was a coworker who was pregnant at the same time as me. We hang out, and she is always pushing to be closer but I try to keep a little space. She can be overbearing and irrational especially when it comes to criticism or perceived criticism.
What do I do? Do I say something? Early intervention is really important right now. How would I even say this to her?
tldr: toddler exhibits characteristics of autism, parents not taking her to the doctor

quote:

Okay I have officially tried everything. The girl has now turned 2 a few weeks ago and still hasn't seen a doctor or gotten help.
The last conversation we had about this was over a bottle of wine and went like this:
Me: "yeah at my son's last doctor appointment they had us fill out this 200 question quiz about him. It seems like they are taking early intervention really seriously now a days"
Her: "WHAT!?" "WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT!?"
Me: "I think everything sort of changed after the whole Jenny Mccarthy autism spectacle. Doctors are taking it really seriously now because early intervention makes a big difference"
Her: " WELL I'm not in denial!! My daughter is not autistic! Neither of our children are autistic!! Why would they do that?! I didn't talk until I was 5!!!"
Me: " sips wine " "Last time you said you didn't talk until you were 3?"
Her: "No it's 5. I was 5" (not what she told me)
Me: "Wow that's pretty late."
Her: "My daughter is going to be an engineer. She is SO SMART" (This was actually said while we were out to lunch one day, totally out of nowhere. All I do is nod)
I don't remember her exact words, but she actually stood up from the table to do this rant loudly and it went on for a while. All about how she isn't in denial of anything and her daughter isn't delayed. But I am positive I was not giving off any "vibes" that these were my opinions. She got on that horse all on her own. There were 4 other people around who all thought it was strange. The tone of the conversation was very matter of fact. Not at all accusatory.
I have no idea why she sounded so outraged about the doctor's quizzes.
About the girl, everything is the same. She still doesn't speak any words. She is very behind and the mom's attitude makes me even more nervous. But speech issues be damned, IS THIS KID NOT GETTING VACCINATED?! Why hasn't she been to the doctor in over a YEAR?! How can I ask if the kid is vaccinated because I don't want my son around her if she isn't??
Honestly every single attempt I've made to get this kid to a doctor has been shot down. When do you call CPS because someone refuses to get medical attention for their child with an obvious delay?
Edit: Forgot to add that I think it's unhealthy for them to hang out with me and my son. At lunch a couple weeks ago she started yelling at her daughter because right after her "My daughter is sooo smart" comment out of nowhere my son goes "MAMA [his name] count pictures!!! 1 2 3 4 etc." up to 11 and yes there were 11 pictures on the wall. This kind of thing I can't control because he is only 2 so he isn't actively trying to show off. But she was getting pretty upset. Then she was trying to get her daughter to recognize what bacon was and all she would do was screech "IIIIII" like the "I" sound. My son is listening to this and going BACON BACON BACON BACON and the more he does it the more pissed she gets at her own daughter and starts yelling "IT'S NOT "I" STOP SAYING I IT'S BACON." I am honestly not trying to brag but it's clear our children are at different points developmentally and if it makes her feel this horrible, should I start making excuses about getting the kids together? I don't want it to mean she yells at her daughter even more
tldr; girl not improving. Mom refuses to see a doctor.

Pvt.Scott posted:

Ugh, I hate this attitude so much, especially since I've had to turn down sex a couple of times.

"Look, I'm mega sadbrains right now, I don't have a condom because, lol why would I, you're drunk and I'm not." Except it's an hour long conversation while she tries to make out with me, push me down on furniture and drag me to a bedroom at the back of the party. I am trying desperately not to upset this person because it's not her fault that I have firmly decided this isn't happening while probably actually destroying their self-esteem for a loving decade.

Why is it every woman who has slept with me or attempted to do so been forceful and rapey? I don't even understand it. I'm a morbidly obese goony gently caress.

Mak0rz posted:

nerds are doormats and their bosses that work 30h/week can tell them to work during every waking hour and they'll say yes

Mirthless posted:

because women have the same capacity for shittiness as men and sexual predators know how to find a weak target

MF_James posted:

I work for an MSP.

Tiny Deer posted:

Tech companies are weird, cult-y institutions where people forget they're not part of a 'family' or a 'squad', they're employees. Tech company owners do everything possible to conceal that fact because then they trick undersocialized nerds into working for free, working insane hours on salary, or just working until they have a nervous breakdown. It also means tech dudes feel really, really betrayed if Mommy Company cuts back on a luxury freebie. It's loving strange.

Pick posted:

That's kind of what I mean though, why is it somehow ok in their work culture to expect 60-70 hour weeks?

Nazzadan posted:

Yeah back to hunting chat real quick, someone said it was weird that a guy in his early 30s would spontaneously get into hunting. I worked at an archery shop, and like 90% of our clientele were people just getting into hunting and probably had never even shot a gun/bow before.

I (f22) think my good friend's (f23) daughter (2) is autistic. Should I say something?

Dienes posted:

I work in ABA/Early Intervention for autism. She was right to say something, but there's really no way to say "I think your child has autism" that isn't going to get a negative reaction. The best bet is to say, "He looks like a late talker, I bet some tutoring from a BCBA or SLP would help him prep for school." from my experience, and those professionals can then say "Yes, this is autism." with more authority.

The sad thing is early intervention IS key. Intensive, early therapy can actually improve functioning enough that they lose the autism diagnosis. Therapy later can help, but its not going to make as big an impact as it could. Poor kid.

Mirthless posted:

it's the weird thing people do where they assume autism (or any similar problem) is a character flaw, and therefore, reflective on them as a parent

it's the worst when it carries on well into adolescence, the parents who deny anything is wrong when it's obvious to everyone (including the kid) - my stepmom was like this /w her kids and it didn't do them any favors