54 40 or gently caress posted:

Holy man, this guy is a MONSTER.


So two things become apparent reading the comments (which are nothing but him getting absolutely ripped to shreds)
1) he slipped up and wrote 'my girlfriend' and so it became obvious that it's actually him, not his 'friend', which was what people were assuming anyway
2) he was giving her DNP that he bought in Thailand. DNP, which can definitely kill someone

Mirthless posted:

oh my GOD

I've seen this poo poo on the darknet, the listing literally tells you "IF YOU START TO FEEL HOT, YOU ARE DEAD AND YOU CAN CALL 911 BUT THEY WILL JUST WATCH YOU DIE"

why in the gently caress would anyone feed this to somebody else on purpose? I can see taking it yourself but jesus loving christ it tells you right in the description that this poo poo is deadly and lethal poison

Themata posted:

The majority of results for the first secret word was vastly by 20 something women who are insecure about another woman their boyfriends are buddy buddy with, so I think it's time to switch!

Secret word: pizza

This is a three parter. Fairly tame compared to some of the other stuff on here, bolding not mine.

30/m with 29/f for 2 years - Am I crazy for thinking her reaction to me being late with the pizza is massively out of proportion?


[Update] 30/m with 29/f for 2 years - Am I crazy for thinking her reaction to me being late with the pizza is massively out of proportion?


[Final Update]: 30/m with 29/f for 2 years - Am I crazy for thinking her reaction to me being late with the pizza is massively out of proportion?

Gaunab posted:

Ride The Gravitron posted:

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Holy man, this guy is a MONSTER.

So two things become apparent reading the comments (which are nothing but him getting absolutely ripped to shreds)
1) he slipped up and wrote 'my girlfriend' and so it became obvious that it's actually him, not his 'friend', which was what people were assuming anyway
2) he was giving her DNP that he bought in Thailand. DNP, which can definitely kill someone

Mirthless posted:

If she's been typing a very long time (it sounds like she has) there is probably an underlying cause and I doubt she will significantly improve with practice. Even if she is improvable, 41WPM isn't that bad, anyway - it was the industry standard for a very long time in admin work.

Themata posted:

He was just trying to help his own friend's girlfriend lose weight. After she comes out of the hospital, he's his friend is going to talk to her and have a real serious talk about getting rid of that fatty fat fat!

He's this stupid, so I hope he's dumb enough to put enough suspicion on himself IRL and get caught.


If it's the case that she looks at the keys or chicken pecks, she would certainly be able to improve. A couple of my friends had slow typing speeds and complained to me about it, and when I learned how they were typing, the reason became apparent.

Also, thinking about it again, it could also be that BF is just pitching a poo poo fit from a WPM given by Typeracer, which I had a bit of issue with due to the interface that slowed my time down (and judging from the context, it seems like it was her first time doing it and BF surely had more experience), and thinking about how he gets pissy about how presumably slow she writes her e-mails, it comes off as even more stupid, because who the hell writes e-mails like they're playing a typing game? He's probably seeing her type each word while thinking of the next word right after or something, and explodes with *BEEP BOOP* WPM HAS DROPPED TO ZER0 FOR 2.017 SECONDS, QUIZZICAL EXPRESSION ON FEMALE'S FACE, *MOTHERFUCKING BEEP BOOP*.

MF_James posted:

Watching people type is probably one of the worst experiences in my IT career. There are tons of people, not entry level, that hunt and peck, and it's awful. You know how I solved that? I do not watch people type, I will walk away and do something else for the 10 minutes it takes them to type whatever thing they want me to review. Life is hard.

quote:

Throwaway because many involved are redditors.

So I dated this girl, Jennifer, for 5 years. For 3 of those years we lived together until she left me for her boss, Jason. I found out she had been cheating for months and before I could confront her she moved out to live with him.

Well one day about a month later I'm at a bar with some friends, and Jason approaches me. No hard feelings, etc, etc. I told him to be careful because she cheated on her last guy with me, and on me with him, and if history tells us anything it will probably happen again. He was confused, he thought he had been dating her for 6 months and that she left me right when they started dating. So in a way she had already cheated on him. He calls her on the spot and breaks up with her, tells her she has a month to get out of his place.

Well now a month has gone by and apparently he has thrown her out. I guess she lives out of her car now and is unemployed. The problem is she has all of her friends whipped up in a frenzy, like her current position is not her fault but mine. They're calling me, my work, my girlfriend and her work, calling my friends, my landlord even got a call. They're ordering pizzas to my door, following me around and I'm really sick of it. My ex is even trying to get back in my apartment because she thinks she has tenant rights.

The police are reluctant to help, I guess because I'm a big guy and in their words these are just "little women" harassing me. It's been 3 weeks and there's no sign of them getting bored of the harassment. I'm recording evidence and identifying them. What more can I do to make them stop?

tl;dr: After my ex cheated I spoke with her boyfriend about what happened. He didn't know, fired her, broke up with her, and now she lives on the streets. Her friends blame me and are harassing me but I can't make them stop.

quote:

Throwaway.

I've been with my girlfriend, Rachel, for 5 years. We live together and for the past year or so, I've become really concerned about her eating habits.

Rachel has always been a relatively picky eater. She grew up eating a Standard American Diet and has never really branched out from that. She doesn't like most fruits and vegetables, or anything spicy or remotely "foreign", or anything that's not beige pretty much. Her diet from what I've observed of 2 years of living together consists of Cheerios, fast food, chicken nuggets (what is it with picky eaters and chicken nuggets?), French fries, plain pizza, white bread and rice, potato chips and spaghetti. I don't think I've ever seen her eat something green unless it's a part of something beige, and she usually tries to pick it off if she can.

So her diet is pretty crap overall. In addition, she doesn't exercise regularly and she snacks a lot so it takes a toll on her energy levels. And while she eats fattening foods, she has remained on the skinny side of average - however, she is what people describe as "skinny fat" meaning she has little muscle tone. I don't think she has gained a significant amount of weight but I have noticed the change in her body over the years as our metabolisms have slowed down a bit. She is constantly tired and sluggish and obviously this impacts her sex drive as well. Our sex life is still ok for now but it's been steadily decreasing. It's not that I'm not still attracted to her physically, it's her habits that turn me off. The other night we were watching a movie and she was eating a big bag of chips like she does every night and it just killed my mood.

The physical part aside, I'm primarily worried about her health. I'm no health nut - I eat decently and work out regularly but I'm not all FITNESS gently caress YEAH so I don't think I'm imposing ridiculous standards on her. But I just don't understand how someone can sustain themselves on the same 10 or so beige, carb/sugar/fat laden foods for 25 years. It has to be taking a toll on her body in some way even if she doesn't see it. She is constantly tired and just doesn't seem to have energy or a vibrancy for life. The other night she was complaining of stomach aches and I launched into a paranoid thought train about how her body is finally breaking down.

For the record, I don't think she has or has ever had an eating disorder. She doesn't binge, she eats normal portions, they're just portions of crap. It seems like she just has no idea how to eat healthy and won't try to improve her diet and expand her palate. I don't know what to do to help her. I love this girl and I want to be with her but I also don't want her to pass these terrible eating habits to our kids if we had any, or die from heart disease at 40.
I've talked to her a few times and asked her if she thought she needs to change her diet. She said yes but she doesn't like most foods so she didn't know how she could. I have tried to cook new things and take her to new places but she did not like any of it and seemed physically uncomfortable trying new foods. Each time she says she will try she just gives up and falls back to her standard diet.

What do I do? Make her go to a dietician? Hold an intervention? Leave it be because it's none of my business??

TLDR gf eats like a picky kid, don't know how to help her change

Themata posted:

It's easy to not watch people type. Hearing is another story! I know a few people who pound away at their keys and even one who slams the enter key every single time. Those are harder to drown out.


Secret word is still pizza

My ex-gf [25F] and her friends are harassing me [26M] for "making her homeless" and "ruining her new relationship".

quote:

My [25M] girlfriend's [25F] diet is atrocious and I'm losing attraction for her and worried for her health

Mirthless posted:

I've seen this poo poo on the darknet, the listing literally tells you "IF YOU START TO FEEL HOT, YOU ARE DEAD AND YOU CAN CALL 911 BUT THEY WILL JUST WATCH YOU DIE"

quote:

I am sick of the eternal battle of the poops

I am a 36 year old female and my 25 year old boyfriend thrives on getting my goat. Typically this makes me laugh. We exchange playful banter and enjoy/annoy each other all in good fun. We've been together for 2 years and were considering living together. I am a chill chick. I put up with a lot in the name of love and happy relationships.

My one thing: please don't go #2 when I'm in the bathroom. So, I'm in the bathroom today putting on my make up. He barges in, pulls down his pants, plants it on the toilet, puts his feet up on the tub, thus assuming the I'm about to take a poo poo position. What?! Wait! I'm only on my eyeliner and still have the mascara to do, I exclaim to him. He chuckles and gives me the I don't give a poo poo look. He poops! He just loving poops.

Ladies. Bros. Come on. Please help me put my boundaryless boyfriend in his place. He's here chucking like a fool because I get so upset. I'm in the shower, he decides to take a poo poo. I'm taking a poo poo and he wants to have a conversation.

Pooping is a solitary thing. Me and my poop, you and your poop. I need to not know about your comings and goings of feces. Thank you very much.

Reddit, is it too much to ask?

Tl;dr my boyfriend likes to poop around me or be around me when I poop and I hate it.

quote:

My [23F] boyfriend [25M] refuses to wash his hands before sex and it's driving me crazy!

My bf and I have been together for about 4 years and he's always been the ''it's my way or the highway'' kind of guy. I'm also pretty submissive in our relationship. But anyway a big annoyance of mine is he refuses to wash his hands before sex or any kind of intimacy. I always ask before we do anything because I know for a fact he NEVER washes his hands, even after using the bathroom, and I don't want dirty hands touching my cooch! It always makes him so angry when I ask and he says it kills the mood. He also claims the vagina is too acidic for any bacteria to thrive in there but even still it grosses me out. It makes me upset that he doesn't care enough about my feelings to just go and wash his hands, the bathroom is right outside the bedroom door. Am I being silly or is there a way to convince him to wash his hands?

tl;dr: Bf won't wash his hands before sex and it's grossing me out. He refuses to even though he knows it bothers me. Am I being silly or is there a way to get him to wash his hands?

quote:

boyfriend has a superstition about sports and doesn't shower for the whole season (25F/26M)

been together for almost a year. we don't live together but spend almost all our time with one another.

so he likes sports. when his team is still in the running (I don't know much about the sport) he just doesn't shower. I noticed early on and asked about it... every time they win he thinks it's because he didn't shower. so every win reinforces his weird superstition. he won't even wash his hands which is loving disgusting?? he has given me 5+ uti's and yeast infections over the past few months, and I am tired of it, but don't know how to say anything. when I asked why he does this he says it's because he hugged Alexis (the one with good skin, player #17 I think) after he scored the winning goal (he said his sweat smelled of fertilizer and urine which was so weird and specific) and he didn't wash the jersey for the whole season and they won. maybe he wants to remember the moment and resemble that smell?? (he has been gardening recently also, so he has daily access to fertilizer)

outside of this out relationship is perfect. he is a well adjusted business man who has a normal job and has an above average income.

also, this might sound crazy, but I think he is actively trying to make me resemble his favorite player Alexis?? he is constantly trying to get me to cut my hair short and I have a similar mans build/ olive skin tone relative to Alexis. I have a similar sounding name and the other night he even whispered Alexis during sex - I didn't say anything, but I think I was visibly shaken.

the other night (after the Alexis incident) he initiated sex but when I went towards his southern area the smell made me audibly gag. he asked what was wrong. I told him I was having an allergic reaction to something we'd eaten earlier (I had to think fast??) and ran to the bathroom. I stayed in there for like 45 min gagging. his dick smelled like a fishtank that just ran a marathon in cashmere while wrapped in Saran Wrap.

what do I do? i know this all sounds crazy but I am really serious. i tried to be lighthearted here but i am actually very distraught. we are building a life together and he smells like a walking fart.

I googled and found out many people have weird things like this with sports, but I haven't experienced it. I love him and I didn't know anything about this until the sports season started. I just want him to shower and stop getting my vagina sick.

how do I save my relationship? how do I bring it up without insulting him or his sport??

TLDR: man doesn't shower during the sports season to support his team. he smells. what do I do?

quote:

My girlfriend [24F] knowingly gave me [23M] an STI

I've been officially dating this girl for over a month now and things have been going well. She wanted to start having unprotected sex so I said we should get tested.

(Btw, the rule with STI testing is that if the doctor's office does NOT call you after your results come in, you have nothing to worry about. We both talked about this)

I go to my doctors office to ask if anything came up, and they said no you are clean. The next day I go to my gf's place and tell her the good news. My results took 3 days to come in, I assumed the same for her. She said the doc hasn't called her (A week and a half after her test) and we have nothing to worry about.

We end up having unprotected sex, and the next day she goes to her doc to "refill" her prescription. After her appointment she says we need to talk. Then tells me she has chlamydia.

I ask her for more details. She ends up telling me that her doctor called her the day before and told her she needs to come in to discuss the test results. Later that evening is when I came over to her place, so she already knew that something came up in the test. She still decided to have unprotected sex with me.

I asked her what she was thinking and she said she was hoping that it would be something that wouldn't affect me, something that she wouldn't have to reveal to me (i'm guessing a yeast infection or something? lol..) What a stupid, stupid, effing stupid move I told her.

She said that she had unprotected sex with one guy before she started seeing me, and I believe her. (We dated for one month, and then officially began a relationship. Its been two months since I've met her. She slept with this guy right before we started dating) So i don't think she cheated on me, she just got infected with chlamydia before we started dating.

However, I am pissed that she knew had something and still decided it was ok to have unprotected sex. I feel so betrayed. The drive to her place when she told me she needed to talk was the worst 20 minutes of my life. I thought I had HIV. She could have potentially ruined my life.

My feelings are conflicted. We had so much fun together and I thought I was falling in love with her, and then she fucks me over. We talked about it and she is very apologetic, says I deserve better than her, and that she will work hard to regain my trust. Should I stay or should i go?

TL;DR-- Told my GF I was STI-free, she told me the same. However, she lied and knew she had something before having unprotected sex with me. Now I have chlamydia (very treatable). My conflict is that her stupid decision could have potentially ruined my life (like HIV). She is sorry and says I deserve someone better but is very willing to work hard in this relationship to regain my trust. What would you do?

Mirthless posted:

Trying to convince his not fat girlfriend to change her eating habits is going to be really, really hard. I see where he's coming from but they're not married so it's a little bit early to be worrying about her long term health. He kind of comes off more like he's just disappointed his girlfriend isn't a fitness bunny.

If it's just her pickiness that's bothering him he could approach that but I doubt that's what it is or he wouldn't be framing it as a health and attraction issue

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I don't think he comes off that way at all - who eats nothing but cheerios, chicken nuggets, and spaghetti? That would disturb me too. He even explicitly says it's affecting her health right now, now long-term about it. (PS Who doesn't think about even a short-term girlfriend's long-term health?)

Mirthless posted:

I don't mean it like that, I mean... It's not going to come across well if he's pushy about it, that's all

I agree her eating habits are ridiculous. I was the same way but my wife did not put up with that poo poo at all and put a stop to it in the first six months we were dating

I mean I still ate like garbage for years but I wasn't afraid of vegetables or things that weren't golden brown

Mirthless posted:

I was the same way

Mirthless posted:

oh my GOD

I've seen this poo poo on the darknet, the listing literally tells you "IF YOU START TO FEEL HOT, YOU ARE DEAD AND YOU CAN CALL 911 BUT THEY WILL JUST WATCH YOU DIE"

why in the gently caress would anyone feed this to somebody else on purpose? I can see taking it yourself but jesus loving christ it tells you right in the description that this poo poo is deadly and lethal poison

DACK FAYDEN posted:

Is that the one that has a metabolization half-life of like a week and taking two grams of it will literally liquefy your organs as you burn yourself to death?

The one that like, fucks you up so you can't break down ATP efficiently so you just burn infinite fat because you literally can hardly get enough energy to continue moving?

...holy gently caress why would you... what.

Cyberventurer posted:

boyfriend has a superstition about sports and doesn't shower for the whole season (25F/26M)

Cyberventurer posted:

My [23F] boyfriend [25M] refuses to wash his hands before sex and it's driving me crazy!

Mirthless posted:

I should probably stop keep oversharing

quote:

As relationship problems go, this isn't really the worst one to have. But for our first Christmas together, my boyfriend asked me what I wanted and I said I wanted a single quick pop maker. Basically it's a little thing that sits in your freezer and if you put some juice inside it freezes in a minute or two and bam, you have a popsicle. Pretty neat right? Except when he went to the store they didn't have the single version so he bought one that makes three at a time. This seemed fine to me since three is better than one after all. But after using it a couple of times it became apparent that three is also significantly larger than one and there wasn't always enough room in his pretty small freezer, which was a problem because it needed to be chilled for like 24 hours before use (I kept it at his place because I lived with a hoarder housemate and there was NEVER enough room in our freezer). Keeping a popsicle thing in your freezer to make you a popsicle whenever you want is pretty cool. Planning 24 hours in advance if you want a popsicle is kind of a chore, so I soon stopped using the thing.

Anyway, that was 2 years ago and I still like the idea of instant popsicles so I've floated the idea of selling/giving away the large thing and getting the one-pop version a few times but for some reason he hates the idea to the point that he even said if I don't want it he'll take it, therefore I can't get rid of it because I'd be getting rid of his stuff (btw he's never made a single popsicle with it and there's no reason to suspect he'd start). He's said getting rid of it would mean I don't appreciate his gift which seems pretty unfair considering I asked for a specific product and got something else. Besides, I do appreciate the gift, I just feel like it's impractical. Now that I've moved in there's even less freezer space because I have to cook for my cat and half the freezer is perpetually taken up by cat food. His response to this is to say I can take up as much space as I want in the freezer with the popsicle thing and he'll make space which is nice but also dumb considering I could just replace it with a smaller thing! Probably dumber is his suggestion that I buy the smaller version but keep the bigger one that is definitely never going to be used again. I think the main issue is he seems to think it's disrespectful to ever get rid of a gift because he also keeps a foot-tall Smurf statue and a giant pizza cutter (he has never made a pizza in his life) in the kitchen for no reason other than because they were gifts. Anyway how do I convince him I do appreciate his gift but it's my drat popsicle maker now and I can do whatever I want with it? Or should I just buy the smaller thing and accept that one of our cupboards will be taken up by a useless appliance forever?

Edit: God drat some of y'all are way more invested in this popsicle business than either of us are. Thanks for the advice everyone else.

quote:

My fiancé and I have been together about three years now. We met online, hit it off, and I eventually drove several states over to meet her. It was fireworks. She was so pretty, and her personality just oozed quirk and humor. It was hard to shut her up when she started talking, but I loved listening to her stories so much I just didn't care. Things grew quickly, and within a year I found myself packing up my life and moving away from the only home I'd known to be with her (I've lived several different places, but always in the same geographic area of my home state).

She led an athletic lifestyle like me, which I loved. She wasn't skinny like a rail (not my type), but she was definitely fit. I was in love with the way she looked, and we were having sex at least 3-4 times a week. Her personality was magnetic, and we fit each other almost perfectly. We made a great team, and she loved me as much as I loved her. It was such a beautiful relief. My second-to-last ex was someone I dated because I was attracted to. We didn't have much in common, and it ended when I found out she'd cheated (three times). My last ex was my best friend, but someone who I wasn't sexually attracted to. I didn't initiate sex, and it led to problems where she was attempting to control where I went and who I hung out with because she had convinced herself I was cheating (I wasn't). It was at that point I realized I needed to be with someone who was my best friend, and someone I was attracted to. And there was my [now] fiancé. A beautiful girl who was my best friend. It was perfect, and I just knew this was the girl I would marry.

But then she got injured while running, which took a toll on her mentally. I tried to help and reassure her, but she sank further and further into a depression. Unable to run, she stopped working out (but kept eating as if she was). I found out that she was starting to hide food from me. She'd stop at CVS on the way home to buy soda or chocolate, then eat it before I got home (I learned this when I found wrappers in her purse and asked her about it).
She eventually confessed that she used to weigh much more, and that she's never had a very healthy relationship with food. This confession came after she had gained about 40 pounds and had to back out of two of the 5Ks we had registered for. I encouraged her to get help from a professional because I'm an advocate of proper mental and emotional care. It took another 20 pound weight gain before she agreed.

When she finally healed up I offered to cook meals and work out with her to help her get back on track. She turned down everything, and began to resent me when I would go running, head to the gym, or eat a smaller dinner. I eventually stopped publicizing those things to her when I'd do them. Throughout this entire process she'd start and stop fitness kicks. I'd throw my full support behind her when she wanted to do C25K, or eat better food in smaller portions. But within two weeks everything would go out the door and she'd be right back where she started.

At this point our sex life started to suffer. I found myself not feeling as attracted to her sexually. We'd have sex, and it was good, but I wasn't initiating nearly as much and she knew it. I started to feel guilty about this, and never really stopped. Her self-image issues took an even bigger role in our lives, and she began asking for nearly constant reassurance that I loved her and thought she was attractive. I did my best to shower her in love and affection, and to reassure her that I didn't think she was any of the horrible names she was coming up with to label herself. She wouldn't put any effort into her appearance, and practically lived in sweatpants and a tshirt. I pushed again to encourage her to see someone. She eventually agreed and went to see a counselor who specializes in eating disorders. The counselor was out of network and charged just over $100 a session. I make decent money, and offered to pay for everything.

The third appointment with her counselor had to be rescheduled because they needed to leave town for a conference. I kept asking my fiancé when she would reschedule. She never did. Based on the light advice she'd been able to glean from a whopping two sessions with someone, she began to eat what she wanted. Portion control and healthy eating went straight out the window at this point, and she put on about another 20 pounds.

At this point she became very jealous of images of other women. She did this before, but it was a daily occurrence now. She would make comments about women in public if they were attractive. "Why don't you go date her? She's not a blubbery whale." I'd hear the same thing if we were watching TV and a Victoria's Secret commercial came on, or the was a sex scene in whatever we were watching. It became exhausting to reassure her so much, and I began to feel like I wasn't being a good partner because I couldn't help her feel better about herself. We started having sex less (once every one to three weeks at best) and fighting a lot more. At one point we couldn't go more than a day and a half without fighting. I inadvertently became an enabler, bringing her little "surprises" of chocolate bars, soda and pizza because I knew it would make her happy, even if it was just for a little while. She also wouldn't want to have sex if she'd eaten too much and felt full.

One day she found porn I had looked at on my phone (girls that had a body type like hers when we first started dating). This was a low, low, low point for us, and led to about two months of her taking her anger out on me on an almost daily basis. I dealt with it because I felt so guilty, especially when I learned she considered porn to be cheating. I vowed to stop downloading porn, and attempted to patch up our relationship. After one particularly long fight, I finally convinced her to forgive me. Things got a little better after that, but stress eating helped her put on that final 20 pounds.
I still love her and who she is. I know she's a great parter and my best friend; I wouldn't have tried to hard to make it work if I didn't think so. But if I'm being honest with myself, I'm no longer sexually attracted to her. I think she knows it. I don't initiate sex often, and we're having sex maybe once a week if she forces the issue.

My interest in sex has waned to almost nothing, and I feel like a huge rear end in a top hat because of it. I don't know how to change my level of attraction to her. I feel guilty because I know she's struggling with something huge and there's always the chance she'd rebound and lose the weight to get back to the size she was when I first fell in love with her. And in this guilt I carry around with me, where I feel like I'm being an rear end in a top hat, where I feel guilty all the time I don't find her attractive when that stupid loving quote "If you don't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" is floating around in my head, in this guilt I also feel resentment. I resent my fiancé for putting on all the weight. I resent her for gaining weight when she had the tools and knowledge to live a healthy lifestyle with me. I resent her for not seeking help earlier. I resent her for not following through the first time she finally looked for help, even though I was paying for it. I resent her for all of the self-deprecating comments that have been made my responsibility to fix. I resent her for making me the exclusive provider of reassurance for her sexuality. I resent that I moved 650 miles away from the only home I'd ever known, my friends, and my family to be with someone who let themselves fall apart so spectacularly. I resent that she expects me to magically manifest some sexual attraction towards her when she's not sexually attractive to me. I resent feeling like an rear end in a top hat for feeling that way. And then I feel more guilt and anger toward myself for feeling that resentment in the first place.

This has just been holding me down. She's finally seeing a new counselor, and she's stuck with it through four sessions. She's also been going to the gym more regularly, and is trying to eat better. But she has a hundred pounds to lose, and to be honest I just don't believe (yet) that she'll follow through. I find myself in the odd position of having very little to give in terms of support because she's tried and failed so many times before that I'm feeling exhausted. I'm exhausted from having to constantly reassure her. I'm exhausted for not complimenting her in the right way, or not making enough positive comments about her appearance.

I'm not a coward, and I'm not inclined to cut and run. But I think she knows I'm not attracted to her right now, and I can't fix that in the short term. I feel like a shallow piece of poo poo, but I can't help what I'm attracted to anymore than she can. I don't know what to do, and could really use some advice. Anyone? Anything? Am I supposed to hang on and hope she actually follows through this time? Or am I supposed to be an rear end in a top hat and say, "I'm sorry you struggle with body image issues and are dealing with a one hundred pound weight gain, but I don't find you sexually attractive anymore so I'm calling off our engagement." Even typing this makes me feel like an rear end in a top hat. I don't know, guys. I could use some help here. This is genuinely my last step before seeking professional help for myself.
tl;dr: I resent my fiancé for gaining so much weight and refusing help. Now I'm not sexually attracted to her and I feel guilty about it all the time.

Themata posted:

Me [30 M] with my fiancé [28 F] I resent my fiancé for gaining 100 pounds.

quote:

This has just been holding me down. She's finally seeing a new counselor, and she's stuck with it through four sessions. She's also been going to the gym more regularly, and is trying to eat better. But she has a hundred pounds to lose, and to be honest I just don't believe (yet) that she'll follow through. I find myself in the odd position of having very little to give in terms of support because she's tried and failed so many times before that I'm feeling exhausted. I'm exhausted from having to constantly reassure her. I'm exhausted for not complimenting her in the right way, or not making enough positive comments about her appearance.

Themata posted:

My [28F] boyfriend [30M] of 2 years has told me I can't replace the popsicle maker he got me without seriously offending him. Should I just let it go?

quote:

there's even less freezer space because I have to cook for my cat 

Fullhouse posted:

Mirthless posted:

because commercial cat food is garbage and some people take their pets really seriously

Mirthless posted:

why do some people only feed their kids organic?

Mirthless posted:

she needs to but man it's really lovely to resent your fiance for not being able to lose weight when you've basically been cramming junk food down her throat to keep a smile on her face

WampaLord posted:

The solution being "buy the good cat food" and not "spend time cooking for an animal that is happy eating the same thing all the time"

Andrast posted:

Because they are really dumb?

Themata posted:

Re-reading the post, I just realized he also did it so then she'd feel full and wouldn't want to have sex.

54 40 or gently caress posted:

I really feel for the girlfriend. It's the result of injury and it's clear she has some disordered eating issues. Like why do guys who write these posts not get that these women loving know they're gaining weight, they know that their eating habits aren't great and most of all, the almost always know and feel that their partner finds them unattractive because of it.

Like Christ, I can acknowledge that yeah, it might be off putting but if you love someone, it should be that you love them enough to stick around during the hard poo poo

Pick posted:

what, did you used to be fat, too?

Pick posted:

what, did you used to be fat, too?

Mirthless posted:

yeah, I've repeatedly mentioned this in the thread

MF_James posted:

Watching people type is probably one of the worst experiences in my IT career. There are tons of people, not entry level, that hunt and peck, and it's awful. You know how I solved that? I do not watch people type, I will walk away and do something else for the 10 minutes it takes them to type whatever thing they want me to review. Life is hard.

Yawgmoth posted:

I type 80wpm using my index & middle fingers alone, and it's hilarious to see all the freakouts people have over it.

quote:

Oh my gosh, this is the stupidest complaint ever, but I really need help here.

My boyfriend is in the running for world's biggest klutz with a good shot at taking home the title. He's sweet, attentive, and loveable, but he's honestly a danger to have around and he's regularly destroying my belongings and apartment. I don't think he's intentionally or maliciously breaking my stuff. I'm pretty sure he just has the coordination of a three year old and very little spacious awareness. Unfortunately, that doesn't make the situation any less frustrating.

This problem would be easily solved if we hung out somewhere outside of my home but my apartment is 2 blocks away from our work whereas his is 45 minutes drive, so it's arguably more convenient for everyone involved to be at my place. He very much prefers to stay in/is opposed to going out, which is fine because I'm on a tight budget and can't afford to go out all that much.

Some examples:

My apartment is too small for a table, so we eat in armchairs with little tray tables set up. He cannot aim his fork and regularly drops food all over the chair and floor. After a while, I just started covering my chairs with blankets so I could machine wash those instead of washing the upholstery again.

He's knocked my expensive new laptop off of numerous surfaces. Counter, couch, chair, end table, it doesn't matter where I put it. It's like a magnet for his feet or elbows or what have you. I cannot afford to replace this.

He spills my food and drink all the time. Again, it doesn't matter where it is. In the past week, I've cleaned up two cans of coke, a plate of spaghetti, and a bowl of soup that he stepped in (I was working on the floor and eating at the same time, so that was partially my fault).

My carpets were pristine before we met, now they're constantly being scrubbed for stains.

He microwaves non-microwaveable stuff all the time. He's ruined several bowls.

He throws away or misplaces my silverware. I'm currently eating with plastic forks leftover from a picnic until I can go buy more.

He's knocked over 3 houseplants and spilled dirt all over the floor/furniture. The most recent was a plant I've been keeping from my grandfather's funeral. Thankfully, the stem didn't break.

I was making bread and got the mix to butter ratio wrong. The butter leaked all over the pan and was spilling over the sides. He got the pan and carried it across three rooms to show me, leaving a trail of melted butter that I then got to clean up.
He cannot hit the toilet, I'm constantly cleaning up stray pee. (I know this is kind of a guy thing - my brothers did the same at home, I haven't talked with him about this specific issue because I don't want to make him feel bad.)

Individually, nothing's really all that bad. I don't mind individual things. Accidents happen. It's just that it's literally every time he's over. Twice or three times on a bad day. I feel like I'm constantly cleaning up and my apartment is always a mess now.

So far, I've just asked him to be more careful and aware of surroundings/where body parts are. I've tried to make sure not to have things just laying around, I've kept food well away from table edges. I try not to keep my things within reach. I handle most if not all of the cooking to minimize damage. I've essentially boyfriend-proofed my home to the best of my abilities. And yet this is still happening and I don't know what else I can do.

I'm at my wits' end here. I really can't afford to have him keep breaking my things and I'm worried that if things haven't improved over a year, they're never going to improve. I don't want kids and yet I'm beginning to feel like I live with an oversized toddler and I hate how resentful/impatient I'm beginning to feel about constantly cleaning up little messes. Any advice on how to deal with someone who's immensely coordination-challenged without hurting their feelings? Anything at all would be appreciated.