Antivehicular posted:

Don't gently caress Mr. Bean.

I don't even know where to start with "Bob," who appears to be some kind of being of elemental wretchedness. The fact that the whole family puts up with him is alarming. PTSD/mental illness can be terrible (and there's no way this dude isn't some level of mentally ill), but... what, did his time in 'Nam give him a phobia of shirts or of ever not smelling like a swamp?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I missed that update, glad the op was there to save that poor loving kid

as a palate cleanser here's a little story about me and my weiner son in law

My (39M) FIL (66M) is a disgusting, utterly repulsive man whom I have grown to despise over the years. I refuse to suffer through another traumatic holiday with him, wife (37F) is begging me to come with her for the visit this year.

Pick posted:

making GBS threads on the floor is not even close to the worst thing he does. Is that what makes you feel like an upright fella, that you don't poo poo on the floor?

Tiny Deer posted:

Yawgmoth do you really want to hear about how Mirthless' in-laws made a nest in his living room out of garbage and roadkill between hunting humans for sport, but HE toughed it out through the holidays,?

Pick posted:

there is a not insignificant proportion of the country that thinks everyone uses that word and we're just barred from doing so in polite company

these people are scum

scrubs season six posted:

Mirthless posted:

the lovely things your spouse's family says are not your fault or theirs and your personal offense at those things should not be grounds to deny your spouse access to their family

"a family member says racist poo poo" is something that you are absolutely forced to deal with in a white family and I don't care how cool and progressive your white family is. you can't avoid every family gathering.

Mirthless posted:

you can't avoid every family gathering.

Mirthless posted:

the lovely things your spouse's family says are not your fault or theirs and your personal offense at those things should not be grounds to deny your spouse access to their family

"a family member says racist poo poo" is something that you are absolutely forced to deal with in a white family and I don't care how cool and progressive your white family is. you can't avoid every family gathering.

Mirthless posted:

"a family member says racist poo poo" is something that you are absolutely forced to deal with in a white family and I don't care how cool and progressive your white family is. you can't avoid every family gathering.

Mirthless posted:

the lovely things your spouse's family says are not your fault or theirs and your personal offense at those things should not be grounds to deny your spouse access to their family

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

uh nope that has absolutely never happened in my family

sorry it has to be this thread to break it to you, repeatedly, that you and the people you surround yourself with are degenerates

Antivehicular posted:

a) I have never heard racist poo poo go down at a family gathering, and if it had, I'm pretty sure there would have been active arguments, not just "oh, it's okay to be virulently racist here, we're all white"
b) Dude isn't denying his wife access; he's just saying that he doesn't want to go, and she can say he's sick, which seems like a totally sane way to get out of this shitpile.

Yawgmoth posted:

Maybe you can't, what with the roadkill nest in your living room.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

uh nope that has absolutely never happened in my family

sorry it has to be this thread to break it to you, repeatedly, that you and the people you surround yourself with are degnerates

Mirthless posted:

"a family member says racist poo poo" is something that you are absolutely forced to deal with in a white family and I don't care how cool and progressive your white family is. you can't avoid every family gathering.

scrubs season six posted:

Sorry your family is so gross and racist.

Mirthless posted:

"My family does not have a single racist member" sounds a lot like "I don't have a racist bone in my body" to me

Mirthless posted:

"My family does not have a single racist member" sounds a lot like "I don't have a racist bone in my body" to me

Yawgmoth posted:

In that they both can be true without exception?

Yawgmoth posted:

Yes. If I didn't want to hear about crazy families I wouldn't be in this thread.

quote:

Short version of the story: I've been in a five way poly-ish relationship for many years. Wife wants to have a kid with one specific person, and I don't really like him. Not sure how to put my foot down without seeming like a controlling jerk.

Longer version: My wife(34F, Lori) and I (35M) have been together for 16 years and married for 13, and our relationship has been open since the day we met in college. About eight years ago we met another couple Kyle (34M) and Andi (33F) who were also open and poly, and we hit it off right away. In 2012 Andi got pregnant and, after a bit of math, we realized that I was probably the father. After discussing our future, we had a commitment ceremony in July 2012 and have all been a family ever since. When that occurred, Andi already had one baby with Kyle, and Lori had two by me.

On the periphery of all this was Joseph (34M). Joseph and Kyle have been friends since college, and Joseph, Kyle and Andi have had an intermittent sexual relationship since then. There was never anything serious there, but he was a regular third man in their threesomes. After the commitment ceremony, Joseph occasionally joined all of us for bedroom fun, but it was again an intermittent thing, and nothing serious.

So it wasn't a huge suprise when Andi's baby turned out to be Joseph's and not mine. It was stilla suprise, but it wasn't a problem. The baby was welcomed into our family, and Joseph became a more regular guest in our home.

About a year after the baby was born, a few things happened that seriously changed things. First, both Andi and Lori got pregnant again. As we'd later learn, Andi's baby really was mine this time around, and Lori's baby is Kyles. Shortly after that, Joseph was involved in a very serious motorcycle accident. He was hospitalized for nearly two months, lost his job, lost his apartment, and needed a lot of help. We ended up moving him in as a "temporary" thing to help him out. That was a year and a half ago. He's still here. Kyle is happy to have his old friend around all the time, the women both like him a lot, the sex is great between all of them, etc.

Three days ago, Lori was hinting around that she needed to talk about something "serious" but didn't know how to broach it. After a bit of discussion, it came out. She wants to have one more baby. And not just anyones baby. She wants to have Joseph's baby. She wants to go off the pill, and have Kyle and I either abstain from having sex with her, or to have only condom-protected sex until Joseph gets her pregnant. When I asked her why, she just shrugged her shoulders and said that she loved him too, and that it was "only fair". She said that Andi had a child by each of the three of us, and that she wanted to have a child by each of us too. After a bit more discussion, it came out that the idea was his, and that he was feeling "left out" because he didn't have a child with her.

Putting aside the childish notion that babies should be created solely to placate someones sense of "fairness", I have a few serious problems with this. First, we already have six kids in the house, which is already a bit much at times. I thought we were all done having kids, and am not sure I really want any more. Second, there is no commitment to Joseph. Where the rest of us have gone through a commitment ceremony to join ourselves to each other, he hasn't.

But the biggest is also the simplest. I don't really like the guy. Never have. He's got this odd vibe and has always struck me as a bit untrustworthy. He honestly reminds me of a shady used car salesman. He also drinks too much, is a bit of a bigot, and has a personality that I find grating. I didn't object to him hanging around now and then because he was Kyle's friend, and I didn't have a problem with the sex because it was just sex and I understood the history of their relationship, but now I'm wishing that I had. To be honest, I've long hoped that he'd meet someone who wasn't into polyamory, just to get him out of OUR sex lives and relationship. When he moved in after the accident, I kept my mouth shut because they were just trying to be helpful, and the discussions about his long term plans have always alluded to the idea that he'd be moving out again some day. When he'd really annoy me, I'd tell myself that it was "just temporary". Now I'm facing the possibility that this guy is going to be around forever.

Kyle and Andi love the idea and think that Lori having Joseph's baby is "romantic". Lori is looking to cement some kind of bond to him. I, on the other hand, seem to get angrier and angrier every time I see him. Almost violently angry. I want to chase this guy out of our home and never let him in again. I want to punch him square in his smug face. I "temporarily" tolerated someone that I disliked because I wanted to be generous and helpful, and because he's the father of one of Andi's children. Now because I didn't want to be a dick and consign a disabled man to homelessness, he's worked his way into our relationship and seems quite content to stay there forever. If this pregnancy happens, I know he'll never move out.
How do I even begin to approach this? I don't really care if Joseph gets hurt in this, but every other solution seems to lead to the other people in my family being miserable, them being angry with me, or me living in silent misery. I can't see any way to resolve this that doesn't involve hurting those I love, or hurting myself.

Does anyone have any insights or suggestions? I don't want to lose this wonderful family that we've built, but every route I see seems to do it harm. What do you do when EVERY OTHER MEMBER of your family wants to include a new person into the family, and you don't?

Update: Thank you everyone for your responses. Your comments have been helpful. Time for me to head home for the day, so I won't be responding any longer. I'll have to think through some of these suggestions and figure out how to proceed, but I will absolutely speak up and let everyone know my feelings. It may be too late, and the damage may be unavoidable, but it has to happen.
Update 2 After I got home, I told Lori that we needed to talk and that we needed to seriously discuss some things before there was any more talk about babies. I told Andi and Kyle that we needed to have a meeting in the morning to discuss Joseph, but didn't want to go into it tonight because he and all the kids were home. They figured out really quickly that I'm not happy with things, and we'll hash it out tomorrow after Joseph heads off to his morning rehab visit and the older kids head off to school.

quote:

Wow, where to begin. We had "the discussion" this morning, and it went about as poorly as expected.

I began by clearing the air about my feelings for Joseph. I reminded everyone that he and I have never got along, and that I've always viewed his presence in our home as a temporary thing. I told them all that I STILL view it as a temporary thing, and that I can't support any moves to make his presence in our home more permanent. That's when Kyle and Andi dropped a bombshell...following Lori's announcement a few days ago, they'd been talking about asking Joseph to join our family formally through a commitment ceremony, to make him a permanent part of our household. They were apparently going to bring it up with me today. I reminded them that, as part of our original commitment, we'd agreed that any additions to our family had to be done unanimously, and made it very clear that I'd never agree to that. My statement led to a HUGE argument, which included them calling me "selfish" and the statement that the three of them could hold a commitment ceremony without me. I didn't want to go there, but I shut that down by saying "Understand that, if you do that, you're not talking about adding someone new to the family. You're talking about replacing me with him. I can't stay in a family that would hurt and disrespect me that way." That led to even more arguing that didn't have any real conclusion.

That's when I turned to Lori. I told her that I loved her, and that it broke my heart that she wanted to have a child with someone I couldn't stand. I also told her that I found it offensive that he'd ask her to have a child to placate his own ego, but that I thought the request was fairly consistent with his lack of character. I reminded her that a child is not an object to be traded for affection or love, and that they should only be created as an expression of that love (thanks callmebrotherg). I told her, without any hesitation, that having a child with Joseph would irrevocably change our relationship and drive a wedge between us. She would be choosing his happiness over mine, and that's how relationships end.

She was crying the whole time, and when I was done she called me selfish and mean. She told me that she loved us both, and that she wouldn't choose between us. She flat out said that she wanted to have one more baby, that she'd already talked to Joseph about it, and that she wasn't going to "go back on her word." She then offered to get rid of the "exclusive" part, saying that she was willing to go off the pill and have sex with both of us, letting fate decide the babies paternity. I told her this was unacceptable, reminded her that I'm her husband and family, and he's not, and said that in not making a decision she was actually making a choice. I told her that I'd be more than willing to have another child with her, but that having a child with Joseph would be the end of us.

And then I went to work. The discussion didn't really change anything or lead to any firm decisions, but the information is now out there and everyone knows where everyone else stands. We'll see where everything goes from here...

quote:

Well, in the day since my last update, a lot has happened. Some genuinely suprised me, and it looks like my family will be changing a bit, but things appear to be settling down. I should mention that this will be my LAST update. I mentioned to Lori that I'd been discussing our situation on the Reddit poly group, and she wanted to read it. After bawling her eyes out as she read through it, she apologized to me...for everything...and we spent the night together. No sex, just holding each other all night. This morning she asked me to not discuss this anymore until we get everything worked out, but said I could post one final update.

So where to begin...

First, Joseph is moving out. Yep, it actually happened. And the shocking thing? It was HIS IDEA. He finally demonstrated some of that "nice guy" personality to me that I've never been able to connect with.

I knew that Joseph would be home when I returned from work yesterday, and I was honestly expecting the worst. I was sure that someone would have clued him in on our conversation and expected him to react with his usual rear end in a top hat persona. It didn't happen. Instead, a few minutes after I came home, Joseph walked into my room and asked me to join him in the backyard for a conversation. I was expecting a fistfight, but got an apology instead. He admitted that we've never got along, and admitted that he's never liked me either, but said that he didn't feel right about coming between me and Lori. He went on to talk about how happy his son is in our family, and how he didn't want to destroy that family. At the same time, he talked about how much he loved living with his son, and how he really didn't want to go back to only seeing him once a week (I'd never thought about that). In the end, he proposed a solution that I accepted. There's a nice apartment complex about two blocks from our house, and he wants to get an apartment there when he lands a job. He's pretty good at what he does and already has some job leads, so he anticipates that will happen pretty soon.

He can visit our house whenever he wants during the week (I'm at work anyway), and can spend up to two nights a week at my house to be closer to his kid. If he does it right, that means he could still potentially see his son 7 days a week, while I only have to deal with him for two. It's a great solution that gives us both what we want.
He's also already told Lori that he doesn't want to have a baby with her, so that's now off the table. He actually admitted that he wanted to have a baby with Lori, but said that he didn't want to stick her into the middle of a conflict over it.

And then we had a beer together. I didn't even complain when he handed me one of his pisswater Coors Lights (totally not kidding, this guy really does fit certain stereotypes). My low opinion of the guy went up a notch.

As for Lori... She was a tearful mess for most of the day apparently, and Joseph taking the baby off the table was fairly devastating for her. After I got home and we talked a bit, she unloaded her soul and let me know just how much she wants another baby, and how much it hurt her that neither Kyle or myself want one with her. And then she felt even more hurt when neither of us even clued in on her level of hurt over it. After several hours of talking, we came to an agreement. We're going to have one more baby, but we'll wait another year for it. And, interestingly, she wants it to be mine. Not Kyle's or Josephs. Kyle apparently doesn't have a problem with that at all.

So, what about her relationship with Joseph? Well, here's where polyamory and open relationships can get complicated. The commitment ceremony is off the table, but she still wants to date him and have some sort of a relationship with him. No babies, no pregnancy, just love and sex now and then. She won't ever sleep with him when he's staying over at our house, but she'll still be going out on dates with him, visiting him at his place from time to time, and will be staying overnight on occasion (like, maybe once a month). While I have to admit that I'm still not totally thrilled with that, it's really just going back to the relationship they had before he moved in with us. I'll tolerate it for her happiness.

Andi, on the other hand, is a problem. She is still furious with me over all of this and isn't showing any signs of backing down. In a way, it's understandable. She's had a sexual/emotional relationship with Joseph since she was 21 years old, and is the mother of his child, so she was really looking forward to him becoming part of our family and was deeply hurt by my rejection. Kyle told me last night that she had even talked about leaving the family over it and moving in with Joseph, but that it was "just angry talk". Right now, I can only get cold stares and slammed doors from her. I really don't know how this is going to resolve itself, but for the sake of OUR daughter, I'll never stop trying. I stuck her in the middle of a fight between the fathers of two of her children, two men she loves, and she's furious at me for even forcing the choice. It may take some time for both of us to work through it.

Kyle is a bit of a different story. He admitted that he knew Joseph and I didn't get along, and apologized to me for not talking to me sooner to make sure I was OK with everything. He apparently blames himself for the arguing, thinking that it was his job to run interference since Joseph was originally his friend, and I'm a life partner in his family. I told him not to worry about it because it was my fault that I didn't bring it up myself. Then we had a beer (Sierra Nevada West Coast Porter this time...Kyle has much better taste).

So, with that, I'm going to wrap this up. I'd like to thank you all for your insights, commentary, and for putting up with my venting. Posting this here gave me a place to mentally work through some of these issues before I broached them with my family, and probably saved me from making some very ugly comments and choices. I genuinely appreciated reading your responses, and I know that Lori found many of your comments eye opening and insightful as well (she loves the thought that we're a "tribe"). Because someone requested it, we may come back and do an AMAA at some point about the emotional and family dynamics of living in a large poly/tribal household, but we need to finish working through the current situation first.

Much love to you all.

Tiny Deer posted:

Update 4: Thank you to the posters of this sub (follow up to "Wife wants to have a baby [with someone else]...I don't")

quote:

So, what about her relationship with Joseph? Well, here's where polyamory and open relationships can get complicated.

Subjunctive posted:

People can have implicit bias without saying racist things at family gatherings.

What's the most recent racist thing you've said at a family gathering? Or are you somehow immune to the racist plague that affects every family?


Implicit bias research and testing shows that it is exceedingly unlikely for a person to harbour zero racial bias. You aren't that snowflake.

boner confessor posted:

typically the racist white family is at least aware enough to code their racism into talk about the lazy and "those people" rather than shouting some of the most heinous words in the english language at children

quote:

tldr: Gf saw I have a lot of money in the bank. I plan on breaking up with her due to her reaction. How do I do that without her going batshit crazy mode version 2?

Background: In 2009 my uncle had passed away and he amassed a good fortune by working as an nuclear engineer for 25+ years. He left our family a large life changing amount.

Now: I am 21, a junior in college. I've been dating my gf for 2 years now (we met as freshmen). We live together in an apt. I don't know what to say. On monday my GF said she was bored so she went through my mail because I haven't gotten home yet. She saw that I have a large amount in my savings acc and thought that someone might have accidentally deposited me a ton of money on accident/bank error and immediately wanted me to get out of class so she could show me, she was freaking out in texts and called me, I didn't pick up. After class I told her I'd call her, I called and told her I'll explain and this is what happens next.

She realized that no one deposited the money by the time I came back and knew that I was keeping it from her. She went on the offensive and started demanding to know why I was so petty with gifts, the type of clothes I wear and food I eat. Basically questioned my entire lifestyle while holding onto this money. I don't get it - I've always been frugal and we laugh about that (shes known me and ive been the same ever since we've met). I shop maybe once or twice a year, buy shoes every few years when I need them. my closet isn't big nor are my possessions but I like it like that. She flipped out, called me greedy etc, said i was 'holding back' and she demands an explanation. I told her I wasn't going to talk to her while she was stomping and yelling at me and if she'd like to have a conversation about it we can once she cools off, which only angered her more. She started throwing stuff she could grab at me and begging me not to leave. I just left and went to my friends, since then she has been blowing up my phone and now her parents are calling me, leaving me voicemails about their precious daughter and how much they love me(wtf).

Now I am going to break up with her, how do I do it the right way? We live together and all our friends are friends.
edit: grammar

quote:

tl;dr. I broke up with her. She tries to contact me everyday with the help of her family. Friends have split up. Deleted all social media (Made a new profile actually with my name spelled differently).Shits been getting crazier I'll have another update soon, need some time to recover and relax because the amount of stress she's causing is insane. Getting some 1.50 chicken nuggets from burger king!

Wow. I don't know what to say. I've read all of your comments and while some are full of advice and next steps to take, there are others who feel like it's their job to hate on me. Whatever, my life not yours. Big thanks to those who messaged me privately!

A lot of you are interested in our relationship so I will bring you up to speed. We're both juniors at a public state college. We've been having relationship problems ever since we've moved in together, which I now realize was a huge mistake. Here is a list of problems.

1: I do 95% of the cleaning/laundry/dishes etc. I can't do this everyday, all the time, without some help or acknowledgement.

2: My GF has stopped going to class (dropped out of her program) and is displaying signs of depression. Anytime I talk to her about school, future she shuts down. She has also gained a significant amount of weight in the past year (35 lbs) which when I try to talk to her about it, she shuts down.

3: I try to initate sexy time only to get shut down everytime because she isn't okay with her body.

4: I've been trying to convince her to go to a therapist, talk to her parents, talk to the school to get her some help but she will not budge at all for the past 8 months.

5: I am studying to become a male nurse, and as a result 90% of the students in any class related to my major are all and she doesn't like that at all despite me telling her it's not a problem as we have 5 girls in our collective hangout group.

I know most of these problems can be solved by communication but she has shut me out on them - literally won't budge she is like an iron wall.

Now I know I am not perfect but I feel like it's such a struggle for her to do ANYTHING, she just sits in the apartment watching reality tv while smoking as much weed as she can. I don't have a problem with that maybe one or two days a week but everyday is NOT HEALTHY and she lies to herself that she can do what she wants, it's okay.

We come from different families. Mine immigrated to the U.S when I was young and she comes from a middle class family. Her parents own their own spa in Florida. We grew up in the ghetto and eventually my mom got a job to get us out of poverty. She has no student loans, her parents bought her car and she has her own budget(from her parents). She knows that growing up we struggled so she does not blame me for my frugality, it's the way I've been living all my life and I love it. She initially found interest in me because we found out we both smoked weed and she liked the way I dress and take care of myself. You don't need starbucks everyday. I feel we live in a world where possessions are what counts and nothing else.

Since yesterday a lot of things have happened. I've had nearly all my friends text me about my GF, asking what did I do wrong/ how much of an rear end in a top hat I am. The story is out, some believe that I have this money and others do not, the ones that do are her the friends closest to her. I've had one of my best friends message me saying if I did have that money we can take that trip to vegas that we were talking about. (I never said anything about vegas, I was just listening to him talk about how much he wants to go while I just observed and said thats cool, I don't care much for vegas). I've also had someone text me she may be pregnant, which I believe is a 100% total lie. I can't believe what shes trying to do.

I've spoken with my parents and they actually spoke to my girlfriend. They hung up the phone on her because she was demanding answers from them about when she was going to know, how much easier this could make OUR lives(A joke right?)

Shes left over 40 text messages on my phone and numerous voicemails. I glimpsed a few and they ranged from (YOURE AN rear end in a top hat WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME - to - IM SO SORRY LETS TALK ABOUT IT I LOVE YOU <3)

As of right now I'm still staying at my buddies, I do not want to cancel the lease but find a subleaser. What I truly honestly feel is that she has made poor choices in her life and she wants to use me as a way out. Shes turned into this lazy being who follows Kim K like crazy and other celebs because she wants this lifestlye and wants to fund it with my money. From what her friends told me(she never told me) her parents cut her off because they are in a dire financial situation and they can't support her anymore.

I'm going no contact, having my other friend get my stuff from the apartment and moving on in my life. I sent a voicemail to her parents phone letting them know that we are two different types of people and it would never work out and I would no longer like to be contacted by them or attempts to contact my family.

As for people wanting to know how much I money I got from my Uncle - It's in the low 7 digits. I plan on speaking with several financial advisors to see what their agenda is on finance. I've only spent money on my education and for my cousins surgery who has down syndrome related difficulties.

To the people calling me a cheap bastard, I've been working part time for the past 3 years at a local pizza place. Shes never had a job in her life.

I'm an idiot for getting in a relationship with her and glad that it's over, she feels so entitled to everything that you wonder why I was hesitant on letting her know of my money. Money changes some people - I'm still and always will be a frugal bastard!

Mirthless posted:

Sorry you actively and willfully block out racist things that your family does to maintain your bubble

"White people are the main problem with racism in this country, just not any of my white people..."

Themata posted:

We've seen a version of this before!


The UPDATE: is what has the good stuff

Themata posted:

We've seen a version of this before!


The UPDATE: is what has the good stuff

Tiny Deer posted:

In that case:

Wife wants to have a baby with only one person in our relationship. I don't want it to happen.


Update 3: comment section


Update 4: Thank you to the posters of this sub (follow up to "Wife wants to have a baby [with someone else]...I don't")

Tiny Deer posted:

The most offensive thing is that he is keeping any large sum of money in a savings account.

Tiny Deer posted:

The most offensive thing is that he is keeping any large sum of money in a savings account.

Tiny Deer posted:

In that case:

Wife wants to have a baby with only one person in our relationship. I don't want it to happen.


Update 3: comment section


Update 4: Thank you to the posters of this sub (follow up to "Wife wants to have a baby [with someone else]...I don't")

Tiny Deer posted:

In that case:

Wife wants to have a baby with only one person in our relationship. I don't want it to happen.


Update 3: comment section


Update 4: Thank you to the posters of this sub (follow up to "Wife wants to have a baby [with someone else]...I don't")

quote:

I have known my girlfriend for a while now. We actually knew each other back in 2008, because we both worked the same job. I knew that when she was younger she was really into partying. About 5 months ago we started dating each other.

Over time she would slip out funny stories from her past, just around friends or even when we are just watching a movie. For example, she was telling me about how she met this guy that had a Corvette, and she ended up blowing him in her friend’s bathroom and he got cum all over her face. And how hilarious it all was. When I hear the stories I feel sick to my stomache just imagining her with another guy like that. And second because when I have asked her for a blow job the longest she has done it is for like 1 minute.

She told me too about when she was with a guy and he had a really big dick and that when she was on her period he would just gently caress her in the rear end. The few times I have asked her to try new things with me after I got lube everything she told me that he ‘ruined it for her.’

What really struck a chord for me was Valentine’s day. I ended up making her home made pizza, and got these special scented logs that she really liked. She told me how I was the best boyfriend ever that treated her so much better than everyone else she dated. Yet despite all of that she does the least with me sexually.
There are parts of me that are insanely jealous and I am starting to resent her for all of this. But at the same time I love her and care about her deeply. I don’t know what to do moving forward, I don’t want to break up with her and regret it later.

Tl;dr- girlfriend used to have sex far more in the past, does a lot of things but with me just isn’t into doing them with me, despite me treating her better than other guys