Pick posted:

Sounds loving obnoxious. People need to learn some god damned moderation.

My boyfriend [21M] wants me [17F] to look "more Asian"

My BF and I have been dating for a year. He's my first real relationship and I really really love him. He is an awesome BF but we have our ups and downs.

A bit of background: I am half Chinese and half white. My BF is just white. I don't look very Asian...most people just think I'm Spanish or Italian or something. When I first told my BF that I was half Chinese he got very interested and started asking me more about my culture. He told me that he found me "more exotic" now that he knew I was part Asian. It kind of weirded me out at first because nobody had fixated so much on my race before but I shook it off as him not being very exposed to Asian culture.

Anyways, I have very curly hair and normally I keep it that way. Last week, I straightened my hair for an event my school hosted. I sent my BF some pictures of me at the event and he replied "You look so much more Asian with straight hair....I love it." And then on the phone he asked me if I could straighten my hair more often or maybe get it permed. I was like it takes me a lot of time to do that, but he replied that he wanted me to "look more Asian". I asked him why he wanted that and he replied with, "I don't know, just a preference I guess."

Is this a normal request? It feels rather strange to want your girlfriend to look more like a certain race. I'm happy with my curly hair and I don't want the hassle of straightening it or perming it. But my BF is insistent and says I'd look better.

TL;DR: I am half Chinese and have very curly hair. My BF prefers my straightened hair because it makes me "look more Asian". I feel a bit weirded out from this request..

Moridin920 posted:

eh you're prolly reading too much into it. teenager is pretty broad, there's a fairly big difference between the appearance of the average 19 year old and the average 13 year old.

do you think there's any guys that have that and then try to gently caress actual teenagers? what a weird condition

e: what's weirder imo is that he is a middle school teacher like eh...

Moridin920 posted:

eh you're prolly reading too much into it. teenager is pretty broad, there's a fairly big difference between the appearance of the average 19 year old and the average 13 year old.


do you think there's any guys that have that and then try to gently caress actual teenagers? what a weird condition


e: what's weirder imo is that he is a middle school teacher like eh...

gentle pete posted:

My boyfriend [21M] wants me [17F] to look "more Asian"

Moridin920 posted:

doesn't a perm make your hair super curly?

Barudak posted:

Are we all sure she isnt just a vampire?

quote:

Basically I've realized that my wife has left it to me to be the responsible one over the years. I am the one who has to remind her to pay this bill or run that errand. I am the one who tells her exactly what has to happen to make something she needs done go well. She promptly forgets everything I say. She is otherwise a good wife and hard working at her job too, but this has been tough on me and my ability to enjoy life.

It got much worse in the past year when she made friends with a colleague. This colleague is older than us but lives like she is much younger. Parties that go all night, messing around, smoking, drinking and rumors of hard drugs. My wife has not really engaged too heavily in any of this, that's not the problem.

My problem is my wife negatively compares me to her friend's husband and other men who they know. So this guy will lose a job because he simply didn't show up so that instead he could go to a concert he wanted to go to. He lost another job for having a large amount of marijuana in his truck and was lucky not to have been arrested. He is obsessed with adventure sports like from the 90s if anyone remembers that. He is like that Dan Cortese guy from back then.

I resent her thinking that those guys are so admirable and "fun" and then laughing when I am running around trying to get things done or undo damage she did when she messes up. Most recently she tailgated another car and rear ended them when they stopped suddenly, though I had warned her for years not to do that. She would always laugh. Now she laughs and says something like that I'm nothing like her friend's husband, he would love her driving. I had to handle all the legal and insurance paper work when the other driver sued.

To my point, the friend's husband recently built a giant bike. It took months and everyone went on and on about how crazy and awesome it is. I mean a bike that was the height of 3 normal bikes, needed a ladder. He got on it raging drunk, road it down the middle of a busy street in town, fell off and severely broke his leg. Instead of going to the ER, his wife took him to their regular doctor the next day, who was able to quickly determine that he could die or lose his leg because of compartment syndrome and other complications. I don't know but it was serious.

He had a series of surgeries that will continue, needs rehabilitation and wrecked their finances. This is about the 10th time he has done something like this. And my wife thinks he is great, that his even dumber friends are great, and continues to negatively compare me to them when I try to be responsible. Some of them hit on her and she likes it though I have no belief she would ever cheat, its not about that, its about her thinking these guys are so perfect while at the same time needing me to make sure we don't end up like them.

The thing is, I am not just boring or responsible all the time. I take her on vacations, adventures, we go out all the time. We do a lot. But it always gets negatively compared to her friends and how they do things. My wife was afraid to go hiking when we met and that kind of thing led us to lead fairly mellow lives, but now she wants to know why I don't go sky diving, which she would watch. After all her friend's husband would do it. At the same time, she recently dumped a bunch of tax receipts and forms on my desk for me to do, it's my job after all. Her friend's house was robbed when they got drunk, went out and left the front door wide open for 12 hours. This is driving me crazy.

I have tried to get her to do more of the responsible work, but it has always fallen back to me when she gets "confused" by everything, her word, and then she says I should just do it because I'm the smart responsible one. To be fair, she does a lot of other things, just nothing that requires any planning or organization.

Am I wrong to just quit doing everything? I want to have fun for myself and enjoy life again. But I also worry what will happen if I leave it to my wife. I don't want our lives to fall apart all the time like her friends' lives do. Help?

tl;dr: I am the responsible spouse and the organizer. My wife is terrible at this and leaves it to me. But she compares me negatively to her friends who have wild adventurous but also irresponsible lives.

Barudak posted:

Laffo at this idiot. If he wants a more chinese wife he should get ready for the part where she has all his financials and her family lives in his house because they have no sons.


Yes, and in the asian american community there is the concept for older women, typically chinese, to perm their hair all the time. Its called a success perm.

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

My (26f) bf (28m) donated about 5 boxes of my books without even asking me because he thought they were "childish" books.

Fullhouse posted:

2000 books is waaaaaayyyy too many loving books

quote:

He'd already had the chance to unpack a lot of what we had, and between us we easily own 2,000 books, which may not be the biggest library, but it's a nice one.

I realized some of the books were missing and asked if he had just not unpacked them because he didn't know how I'd like to organize them.

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

What socks do you people wear that aren't white?

Feel bad for the woman-child. That's gotta suck

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

What socks do you people wear that aren't white?

Feel bad for the woman-child. That's gotta suck

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

What socks do you people wear that aren't white?

Palisader posted:

I know a lot of older women will perm their hair because they're starting to lose it, and a perm makes it look more voluminous. Though we might be talking about two separate categories of older women.

LGD posted:

White socks aren't quite the abomination people are making them out to be (though wearing them like that guy did is very "yikes"), but uh, you do know that dark socks are a thing right?

Specifically a thing that should be worn with more types of clothing than white socks.

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

I only wear black socks when I need to dress up

I got through college wearing mostly white socks and so did most other people

Palisader posted:

I cannot believe I finally reached the end of the thread. Have a story.


I feel bad for the girl, but check out that user name.

Edit: Oh god, he's made 2 posts

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

What socks do you people wear that aren't white?

Feel bad for the woman-child. That's gotta suck

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

While he probably has a fetish and is a weirdo (who should absolutely not lawyer up on his neighbor), he comes across as a decent guy and not a creepy pedophile

Fullhouse posted:

2000 books is waaaaaayyyy too many loving books

Leon Einstein posted:

So he's got a fetish for 13 year olds, but he's not creepy.

TheAsterite posted:

You don't need socks with sandals.