STAR TREK: Picard's Assimilated Balls

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RaspberrySea: Nov 29, 2004

A-koo-chee-moya.

*trips balls on futuristic LSD dispenser for vision quests*

# ? Feb 12, 2017 13:19

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# ? May 16, 2024 19:09

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

Chekotay is really really bad. Do they ever explain why and how he is a native American? Is he from that one TOS planet?

Or wait, that was a TNG planet

Jack-Off Lantern fucked around with this message at 13:25 on Feb 12, 2017

# ? Feb 12, 2017 13:22

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

Chekotay is really really bad. Do they ever explain why and how he is a native American? Is he from that one TOS planet?

Or wait, that was a TNG planet

There's a planet full of native American settlers out in the DMZ between Cardassian and Federation space, and that's where Chakotay's from.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 13:34

ACRE & EQUAT: Aug 28, 2004; FUNERAL BREADS
WAR BREAD

Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:

Holy poo poo, this episode where chakotay has flashbacks about his adventures with estaban is terrible.

Rubber people.

Yeah, the backstory of the rubber people was a bit of a stretch.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 13:44

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Neddy Seagoon posted:

There's a planet full of native American settlers out in the DMZ between Cardassian and Federation space, and that's where Chakotay's from.

Several hundred years later and native Americans still get their land stolen from them. :sad:

# ? Feb 12, 2017 13:48

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

I mean, it's stupid that native Americans would leave earth in a post scarcity utopia to live as settlers in a war zone. Is the Amish Planet right next to them or was that next to the Space Nazi one?

# ? Feb 12, 2017 13:51

RaspberrySea: Nov 29, 2004

Next to the Space Irish planet. No, not that Space Irish planet. The other one.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 13:55

Police Automaton: Mar 17, 2009; "You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."

MorgaineDax posted:

A-koo-chee-moya.

*trips balls on futuristic LSD dispenser for vision quests*

future me in a nutshell

# ? Feb 12, 2017 14:31

RaspberrySea: Nov 29, 2004

Between vision quest drugs in a box, replicators, alcohol with no hangovers, and programmable holodecks, I don't know how the gently caress anyone gets anything done.

Barclay had the right idea.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 14:48

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

Isn't Synthehol without any intoxicating effects? That's why Quarks makes mad cash, he has real booze he charges a premium for.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 17:16

pomery: Oct 19, 2016

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

Isn't Synthehol without any intoxicating effects? That's why Quarks makes mad cash, he has real booze he charges a premium for.

Pretty sure you're right, that or its incredibly mild.
There's also the romulan contraband wine that's always smuggled around and the wiskey scotty had stashed away in TOS.
It seems if you want to get properly hosed up you gotta go outside of federation regulations

# ? Feb 12, 2017 17:22

Johnny Aztec: Jan 30, 2005; by Hand Knit

Yeah, everyone says Synthehol really sucks.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 17:22

JediTalentAgent: Jun 5, 2005; Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

I think the one of the Trek wikis said it started out life as a con for Ferenghi negotiations: Both Ferenghi would be drinking, but one of them would be drinking synth so they maintained their sobriety as negotiations wore on. Eventually every one of them figured out this con and started to use it and then someone realized they could make a bunch of money selling alcohol that had none of the negative moderate-to-long term effects but still got you a little drunk while you were drinking it.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 17:31

RaspberrySea: Nov 29, 2004

Synthehol still gets you drunk, but you can mentally brush off the effects somehow.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 18:34

Fister Roboto: Feb 21, 2008

Synthehol is probably just 3.2 beer.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 18:35

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

Chekotay is really really bad. Do they ever explain why and how he is a native American? Is he from that one TOS planet?

Or wait, that was a TNG planet

Yeah they do, actually. You see, his tribe is descendents of ancient humans interbreeding with aliens who are exactly like native American stereotypes and vision quests work and are real because they're the result of alien DNA

# ? Feb 12, 2017 18:38

Teriyaki Hairpiece: Dec 29, 2006; I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

How does he have a little beep boop flashy lighty computer box that makes him trip balls? How is that a thing?

# ? Feb 12, 2017 18:43

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

How does he have a little beep boop flashy lighty computer box that makes him trip balls? How is that a thing?

How is that NOT a thing?

# ? Feb 12, 2017 18:46

RaspberrySea: Nov 29, 2004

Because it's for his ~culture~!

I do like how Starfleet has completely different standards for what counts as appropriate on a ship though. Worf can have his giant Miss Congeniality sash over his uniform, and Chakotay can have face tats and e-peyote, but Bajorans can't wear their earrings without getting bitched out for it.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 19:00

bunnyofdoom: Mar 29, 2008; I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad!

To be fair it may just be a gently caress the bajroams thing

# ? Feb 12, 2017 19:10

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

Isn't the earring thing explicitly religious instead of cultural?

# ? Feb 12, 2017 19:17

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Yeah, it was pretty obviously inconsistent about the earring.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 20:06

Mondian: Apr 24, 2007

MorgaineDax posted:

Because it's for his ~culture~!

I do like how Starfleet has completely different standards for what counts as appropriate on a ship though. Worf can have his giant Miss Congeniality sash over his uniform, and Chakotay can have face tats and e-peyote, but Bajorans can't wear their earrings without getting bitched out for it.

tbf that was likely just Picard being extremely chill with his crew. He was fine with Troi walking around in civvies, but Jellico put an end to that poo poo fast. I doubt anyone would bitch if a random bajoran wore their earring, they just gave Ro poo poo because she had a bad rep re: getting a ton of officers killed a few years prior.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 20:34

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

MorgaineDax posted:

Because it's for his ~culture~!

I do like how Starfleet has completely different standards for what counts as appropriate on a ship though. Worf can have his giant Miss Congeniality sash over his uniform, and Chakotay can have face tats and e-peyote, but Bajorans can't wear their earrings without getting bitched out for it.

To be fair, I can see how some jangly metal thing that could get caught on something and rip part of your ear out during an away mission would be frowned upon.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 20:49

naem: May 29, 2011

MorgaineDax posted:

Space Irish planet

# ? Feb 12, 2017 20:51

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Finishing up Enterprise season 1. The constant blue balls for Risa was pretty funny. Degenerate Vulcan ambassador was cool. Starting the finale now.

# ? Feb 12, 2017 22:41

Space Crabs: Mar 10, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

ACRE & EQUAT posted:

I liked 11:59.

You get a stock story with good sets and music that enhance the bleak atmosphere of people who get left behind by history, where mole grew gets to play a likable character for which her acting style is suited, and you get to watch Janeway get her dreams crushed as the story is revealed.

It's great because you know it's going to happen and she's all 'those stupid Hicks didn't want my space Needle' and 'my ancestor was three best space ubermensch there was and everyone else sucked compared to her' and you know she's going to get her comeuppance and it's great and guest stars the guy who played the bar owner in Roadhouse

This episode was great because apparently nobody bothered actually looking that up.

" :smug:

My family was heavily involved with and basically are the ones responsible for the mars missions and mars exploration. It's all we talk about."
"Uhhhh no?"
" :smug:

What?"
"I know every single person involved and none of your family had anything to do with it"

Space Crabs fucked around with this message at 23:42 on Feb 12, 2017

# ? Feb 12, 2017 23:23

kingcom: Jun 23, 2012

tactlessbastard posted:

Finishing up Enterprise season 1. The constant blue balls for Risa was pretty funny. Degenerate Vulcan ambassador was cool. Starting the finale now.

People give enterprise a lot of poo poo but given the standard of star trek its mostly fine with some genuinely solid episodes scattered throughout. Holy poo poo does it have a rough start and finish though.

# ? Feb 13, 2017 00:26

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Nah, Enterprise is loving poo poo.

"Why back on Earth we do things differently." - is most of series 1.

Edit: Even though we nearly killed ourselves in WW3, and are copying Vulcan tech to get ahead, all you aliens are weird and evil. Only we humans are virtuous. - rest of Enterprise

# ? Feb 13, 2017 00:46

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

happyhippy posted:

Nah, Enterprise is loving poo poo.

"Why back on Earth we do things differently." - is most of series 1.

Edit: Even though we nearly killed ourselves in WW3, and are copying Vulcan tech to get ahead, all you aliens are weird and evil. Only we humans are virtuous. - rest of Enterprise

*while rubbing blue goop all over a hot lady's tits* humans are superior

# ? Feb 13, 2017 00:56

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

happyhippy posted:

Nah, Enterprise is loving poo poo.

"Why back on Earth we do things differently." - is most of series 1.

Edit: Even though we nearly killed ourselves in WW3, and are copying Vulcan tech to get ahead, all you aliens are weird and evil. Only we humans are virtuous. - rest of Enterprise

What else would the first humans to go that far do? If that bothers you it is the setting, not the shows fault.

# ? Feb 13, 2017 00:58

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

enterprise was worse for the time it was set it. Just like STI is gonna suffer for it too. There's nothing interesting about star trek portrayed as "the same, but less so"

# ? Feb 13, 2017 01:02

Powered Descent: Jul 13, 2008; We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

# ? Feb 13, 2017 02:23

shadow puppet of a: Jan 10, 2007; NO TENGO SCORPIO

This used to be real life. Boxed software was hip. A Cassiopeia PDA was your entree to a more organized world.

I feel bad for anyone who did not live through these 1990's

# ? Feb 13, 2017 02:34