purple death ray posted:

Theres enough apps in modern phones and PCs that try to sync automatically when you connect your phone to your PC this could have easily happened without him even knowing

quote:

So Lisa (not her real name) and I have been dating for over a year. We met at a gym (she walked me into my interview) and started talking and eventually led to me asking her on a date and the rest is history.
At the time she was very close to a guy we will call Chad. I have no issue with friends of the opposite sex, while I don't have very many female friends the ones I do have a great and I know that these types of relationships can be platonic. So I totally get that. Now Chad would text Lisa constantly. I mean like day in day out. And granted it being a new relationship it made me a little uneasy but whatever.
One day we decided to have a discussion about ex's (brought on by her). Not typically something that's great to discuss but I'm fairly open with that and as long as it isn't something that gets brought up constantly it doesn't bother me much. Past is he past and all that Jazz.

So anyway, she tells me about the people she has been with and dated and blah blah blah. So a while after that conversation that texting with Chad persists (about 2 or 3 months in now) and I start to get a feeling about him. So one night I decided to call her out on it. Probably not the best thing to do but I was just really feeling uneasy about it.
Long story short they used to sleep together and, while she claims they weren't official, essentially dated for a fairly long period of time. To the point where everyone at her school apparently called her Mrs. [Chad's last name]. I was a little upset. Not really that it happened, but that she intentionally hid that from me after having had the conversation about ex's which SHE wanted to have in the first place. Not only that, but apparently he is still in love with her and professes feelings for her every so often. And he has a gf. It's just such a weird situation and she is trying to stick with him since they were "best friends" for so long and whatnot. I'm trying to get her to understand that the way he is acting is disrespectful to her, me, and also his gf. And that it would just be best for everyone if they just didn't talk since he can't seem to keep it platonic at all.

This unfortunately is not the only instance where she ha put up with this. Another ex (the one right before me) basically did the same thing for the first 6 months of our relationship. Trying to "win her back" (his words) and saying how i wasn't good for her and he would love her better. It took forever for her to finally stop entertaining him. I literally had to get in a fight with him at a bar. And I know she isn't doing it because she has feelings. She is just so bad at saying no or saying she doesn't like something outside of our relationship. I think when she gets uncomfortable she doesn't really know what to do and kind of just lets things happen. And I'm not really sure how to deal with it. I have no relationship with either of these guy, granted I've met them both. So I don't know if it's appropriate for me to step in and tell them off or if I even should. Would appreciate any and all advice. Thanks!

Tldr; gf has men from her past that continue to express feelings for her in a very non-platonic way. Though I know she just wants to be friends (with everyone, she's a people pleaser), I'm trying to find a way to explain that sometimes it's jus healthier to burn bridges and move on.

Pvt.Scott posted:

Borderline Personality Disorder sounds incredibly pulled out of someone's rear end. I know it's a real thing. Hell, I think my grandma Kitty had undiagnosed BPD.

Borderline Personality Disorder just sounds like the sort of thing someone throws out while trying to sound smart or during an improv bit.

purple death ray posted:

Theres enough apps in modern phones and PCs that try to sync automatically when you connect your phone to your PC this could have easily happened without him even knowing

Tolkien minority posted:

Wherein, the OP is cucked by Chad

I [23M] would like my GF [19F] of over a year to cut off her "friend"(s). I think I have a good reason.Relationships

quote:

Am I [20 M] breaking up with my girlfriend [19 F] of ~2 years for a bad reason? Is my method too harsh?

My current girlfriend is my first serious and long-term partner. We've had minor squabbles but we've lasted this long for good reason. However, last week her and I were playing Mario Kart together. She got frustrated because we both lost and she hit me in the balls. It wasn't a full-force punch, but it wasn't a light tap either. After the hit, I asked her to not do that again and we didn't talk to each other for the rest of the night.

The next morning, we tried to talk about what happened but we kept getting on each others' nerves. She hit me in the nuts again (same force as yesterday) to get on my nerves because she knew I didn't like it at this point. I left and stayed away from her so I could cool off.

I haven't felt the same about her since that. It's been only 4 days, but I feel like breaking up with her and the reasoning is simple: she hit me in the nuts in a non-playful way, I asked her to stop, and she did it again.

I was going to break up with her while she was at her house so she had the comfort of her family. I plan on doing it on a Saturday that way she has a full day to lightly recover before she drives back to college that night.

Is my reasoning bad and should I choose another place to end our relationship?

TL;DR: Thinking of breaking up with my girlfriend of ~2 years because she hit me in the nuts twice, one time being after I asked her to stop. I want to break up with her at her house so she's surrounded and comforted by family. Is my reasoning bad and should I choose another place to end our relationship?

54 40 or gently caress posted:

How hard is it to say "if you ever do that again we're done and this is not a joke"

Beachcomber posted:

But ultimatums are abuse!

titty_baby_ posted:

he should punch her in the nuts so she can see how it feels

Cling-Wrap Condom posted:

YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LISA

Tolkien minority posted:

Wherein, the OP is cucked by Chad

I [23M] would like my GF [19F] of over a year to cut off her "friend"(s). I think I have a good reason.Relationships

Mirthless posted:

the fact that she brought up the conversation about exes but then deliberately omitted somebody she was serious with to the point where people thought they were married

quote:

My boyfriend spent $500 on a girl that wasn't me for Valentine's Day.Relationships

submitted 2 hours ago * by goodjobjoeefresh

My boyfriend is 22. I saw receipts that said he shipped present worth $500 (jewelry) to overseas with the following message "Happy Valentine's Day, babe". I got only chocolates. I am sad and angry, how to confront.

TL;DR: Boyfriend of (EDIT: 10 months) sent $500 worth of jewelry overseas.

quote:

I [28 M] abused (emotional, verbal, physical) all my girlfriends till now. Don't know where to go from here. Please help.Personal issues

submitted 3 hours ago by AbuserHelpMe

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

Hi,

I am a 28 year old man from Westeurope and my problem is, that I have done serious damage to all romantic relationships (short and long) I was ever in. I never saw this as a "problem", because I always gave other people the fault for everything. The way I saw it was, I was always right (from my sick point of view) and I am "allowed" to behave like this. Some examples what I have done in the last years:

Constantly (at least once a week) tell numerous girlfriends they are "whores" or "sluts". This often came from short impulsive reactions. When they answered my in a "wrong" tone etc.
Call them fat all the time. I once put a girl so far that she started binge-purging.
Tell them they need plastic surgery. For their breasts, knees, noses... It never stopped.
Let them fall in love with me really quick within weeks, then block the contact and laugh about how they go crazy in finding me. If they find me, deny that it was nothing serious between us.
Emotional pressure: tell them "a good girlfriend would have sex right now", ask for sex every time, if she is not in the mood, tell them I will leave them, or my ex-girlfriends were better. Bonus: pressure them into having a threesome
If they did a minor mistake, e.g. driving mistake, I always had my "show": I did a face palm and gave them this "look" to put them under more pressure, eventually I started screaming.

You must be thinking why did women went through this hell? I don't know either, some even contacted me after years again. I guess I am somewhat manipulative, and sometimes don't even know why.

This is just a short list. I know, I have problems, if you want to write me a private message and scream at me, I fully understand.

Since my last girlfriend (26, f) broke up with me last week (we were together 3 years), I "saw" for the first time, what I did to a human. I know this sounds so strange, but I was sad for losing her and crushed with the awareness, that I failed as a human being.

This is the first time in my life I feel regret. I am crying night and day for everything I have done. I swear to myself I will not start any relationship till I am "normal".

I tried talking with some friends about this issue. Some were shocked (ofc), but most didn't believe me. I always managed to hide my "sickness" very well. No one in my family ever understood why girls would leave me. I am a caring friend for all my male and female friends, I am a respected person in our community. People in my social group kinda look up to me. No one know what "sick" stuff I have done. I don't know where to go.

I think I have a medical condition and I don't know what to do. I tried getting an apointment with an psychotherapist, but there is no free place left. I feel like everday that passes, I lose the awareness I have about my situation. I am afraid that if I wait some weeks longer, I will forget everything and keep being like this forever.

Reddit. Please help me, what should I do? Where can I go? Why am I like this?

tl;dr: I abuse every girl after a certain time. I don't know how to stop it.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

quote:

I think I have a medical condition and I don't know what to do. I tried getting an apointment with an psychotherapist, but there is no free place left. I feel like everday that passes, I lose the awareness I have about my situation. I am afraid that if I wait some weeks longer, I will forget everything and keep being like this forever.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Mirthless posted:

availability of mental health services is a pretty big problem in western europe, from what I've been told

Sjs00 posted:

go to sleep mirthless

Andrast posted:

It's a big problem everywhere

Mirthless posted:

it's only 10:45 you weirdo

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Psychologists have enough trouble looking like real doctors without diagnosing people as being "a huge rear end in a top hat"


let's be real there is zero possibility this guy didn't have it filed in his exhaustively catalogued spank bank

Pvt.Scott posted:

He's still a genuinely cool dude, but sometimes I want to smother him in his sleep, y'know?

quote:

I [24/M] put myself on the line and did what my crush [23/F] wanted to do for Valentine's Day and I ended up on her couch alone.

I'll try to keep this as short as possible. But this happened about 2 hours ago. First let's start 3 days ago, I was talking to my crush, let's call her Susan, and we were discussing Valentine's Day plans. She mentioned that she didn't have anything going on so I joked with her and said I should come over with a couple bottles of wine and we can have our own valentines date since we both don't have valentines. She laughed and obligees saying "it would be great to spend valentines with a great guy." So i decide to go all out and get her favorite bath bomb scent, 2 bottles of good Cabernet, her favorite bathe scents, and a dozen roses.

When I show up she kisses me on the cheek and thanks me for the gifts. The night begins with us sitting on the couch drinking good wine and enjoying each other's conversation and laughing with stories and what not. After a bit of time has past, I tell Susan my true feelings for her. That I have seen her as more than a friend and someone I truly like spending time with, she agrees and tells me how much she likes me back. Then things get weird.

After we finish the second bottle, there is a knock at the door.. In walks, let's call him Derek. Derek says hello to me and the 3 of us are sitting around her apartment. She pulls out a bottle of whiskey and we all start to drink that. After a short time of us all hanging around and talking her and Derek decide to go into the room for a "talk" and Susan tells me to wait for her. I come to the very easy conclusion that they're both having sex.

At this point I am too drunk to drive home but deeply saddened by this entire encounter, so I curl up under a blanket on her couch. Finally Derek exits and leaves the apartment and Susan asks me if I want to sleep beside her tonight. I politely decline and say I am comfortable on the couch where I am. Now here I am at 3:21 am, drunk and stuck on Susan's couch alone and really sad. I don't think I need relationship advice as I won't pursue this any further but I needed to tell this story to maybe feel better on a lovely Valentine's Day. I hope everyone had a better night than I did.

TL;DR: crush invited me over for a Valentine's date to drink, only to gently caress another guy while I have to sleep on her couch since I'm too drunk to drive home.

DOMDOM posted:

Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!

DOMDOM posted:

Chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!

Barudak posted:

How do you have so little respect for yourself to end up in this scenario? Was it surgically removed? Did you have a tragic accident with a self-worth chipper as a child?

54 40 or gently caress posted:

How does a parent raise a child with absolutely zero dignity and respect for themselves?

Seriously. I bet he stayed so he could be a big victim baby about how he's sooooo niiiiiiice

areyoucontagious posted:

I don't get what her game was there. Pity gently caress? Platonic sleepover?

DOMDOM posted:

That I have seen her as more than a friend and someone I truly like spending time with, she agrees and tells me how much she likes me back. Then things get weird.

quote:

his happened about 2 hours ago. I was just able to pick up my head from shame.

Imported to know: My SO has been feeling pretty down lately and for the oddest reason it makes her laugh whenever she calls me and I answer with a stereotypical asian accent. You know like "a harro? Rike who is dis? Noo-dawls " Put emphasis on it, slap a sticker on it and call it a day. Makes her giggle a bit. She always calls from her office and I never save her number, I just recognize the area code, assume it's her and answer...the way I answer. This will be important later.

I live in an area where there's a bunch of michelin starred and world renowned restaurants around me. We're talking like 500 bucks a person. I worked as a cook at one of these restaurants and like any industry if you make connections in a place like this doors open EVERYWHERE. Germany, France, Denmark, Rome, all these were now places I could easily get to because of the impressions I made and the people I met. I was a happy clam. I'm good at cooking, I really am. Restaurants like this require you to be. At work I don't joke around, have a straight face and stern voice because if they hear you having fun, they rip you a new rear end in a top hat. Anyway it's time for me to leave this chapter and move onto the next. I let the chef know and he basically tells me name the place and we'll get you there. It was another world renowned Chef, asian chef who does amazing asian food, loving badass this guy is an absolute legend in the area. Chef says no problem, we're buddies. I'll let him know about you.

I'M loving STOKED

A couple days pass and it's my day off. My phone is charging and it goes buzz buzz. I run over and see the familiar area code, but today was special. It's Valentine's day and I REALLY wanted to go the extra mile and cheer her up because it sucks to work valentine's day. I pick up the phone and I loving go for it... " OHHHH UH HARRO PREASE!!! WHAT YOU OR-DUH PREASE? YOU RIKE A DA PORK BERRY STEW WIT A DOG PAW BWOTH? I RIKE STEAM BUN!! RICE RICE RICE OOOOOOoooOOOOOoooooOOOooooooOOOOoooo.... BWONNNGGGGGG...." Silence on her end I usually hear laughter. So I say "hello?" After about 2 seconds of silence my heart begins to drop... after one more second I hear a voice that is not my SO, but a man's voice. He responded with " Hello, this is chef ______ from world famous restaurant, is this 2glamtogiveadamn?" I just about poo poo myself my heart sank so low it hurt me physically... I could only muster up enough words to say "Oh my God I'm so sorr-" "Okay" -click-

The events that unfolded was what really hosed me. The chef called my boss and he was understandably pretty pissed. My boss calls me and tells me to grab my equipment and leave. Also they emailed all of their surrounding famous Chef buddies about me and what I did so I'm really hosed moving forward. All the contacts I established are essentially useless now. I hosed all my hard work and now I look like loving scum and a joke, and in this industry I have no idea how it will affect me when I move forward.

TL;DR: Proclaimed my love of rice to the wrong person

Desperate Character posted:

this ones from r/tifu but it would fit in perfectly in r/relationships


I love when people get owned over casual racism

54 40 or gently caress posted:

^^shameful display

She probably wasn't telling him she liked him, she was probably how much she likes him as a friend and he was too dumb to pick up on it

areyoucontagious posted:

I get that, but who the gently caress then chases that with inviting their "friend" to sleep in bed with them? Like not a good friend, just that nerdy guy who came over?

Pvt.Scott posted:

Dumb people. Believe it or not, I've had a similar thing happen to me.

areyoucontagious posted:

I get that, but who the gently caress then chases that with inviting their "friend" to sleep in bed with them? Like not a good friend, just that nerdy guy who came over?

areyoucontagious posted:

I get that, but who the gently caress then chases that with inviting their "friend" to sleep in bed with them? Like not a good friend, just that nerdy guy who came over?

Subjunctive posted:

Mirthless parachute spotted.