Dumb Marketing Moves: Tell me about Zoos

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JnnyThndrs: May 29, 2001; HERE ARE THE FUCKING TOWELS

I always hated grocery shopping(although I did it since I'm an adult)because the stores were always a crowded hellhole full of indecisive elderly blocking the aisles and screaming children begging Mommy for poo poo.

Since I started working a job with odd hours, I now go shopping at 6am or so and the place is empty, so I can ponder what ingredients I need and snap-decide on what I'll make for the week without being That Guy slowing everybody down. Really improved what I make for dinner, and would most likely help people who have issues with crowds.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 14:13

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# ? May 25, 2024 16:43

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

I've heavily considered getting groceries delivered because the nearest store is about 10 miles away and the city just decided to start a two year trunk sewer project on the only street that goes from my place to the store. It is now a cramped two lane hell that I'd rather put a delivery driver through.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 14:21

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

Jeez, people.

I grocery shop for my homebound mother who hasn't been to a store in 5 years and occasionally sends me a request remembered from her childhood in an alternate dimension and I get to spend half a hour going up and down aisles looking it. The last time it was some specific type of prune.

Amazon can't start delivering groceries fast enough.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 14:45

CommonShore: Jun 6, 2014; A true renaissance man

I realized just last night that there are tons of little skills that I gained as a kid and which seem simple and normal to people who have them but which, in fact, are not universal. Have you ever made a pie crust in front of someone from a family who didn't bake? They'll basically dive over the couch for cover and peek up slowly like :dogbutton:

Other such skills/activities include operating a needle and thread, unclogging a drain, changing a fuse or oil in your car, operating a power saw or drill, sitting and reading quietly, removing spyware from your computer, or connecting tv/stereo equipment. For those of us who were around these kinds of activities as a matter of course as kids, with no big production, we'll just loving do them even if we're not great at them, because they're basic normal people skills. Households which didn't provide these examples produce people who see them as weird or difficult. Consider that the most difficult task on my list is not much different from cleaning a sink, but here we are, paying $50 for someone else to do it (and I pay for it too, but because of warranty).

# ? Feb 15, 2017 14:59

GOTTA STAY FAI: Mar 24, 2005; ~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~; College Slice

CommonShore posted:

I realized just last night that there are tons of little skills that I gained as a kid and which seem simple and normal to people who have them but which, in fact, are not universal. Have you ever made a pie crust in front of someone from a family who didn't bake? They'll basically dive over the couch for cover and peek up slowly like

Other such skills/activities include operating a needle and thread, unclogging a drain, changing a fuse or oil in your car, operating a power saw or drill, sitting and reading quietly, removing spyware from your computer, or connecting tv/stereo equipment. For those of us who were around these kinds of activities as a matter of course as kids, with no big production, we'll just loving do them even if we're not great at them, because they're basic normal people skills. Households which didn't provide these examples produce people who see them as weird or difficult. Consider that the most difficult task on my list is not much different from cleaning a sink, but here we are, paying $50 for someone else to do it (and I pay for it too, but because of warranty).

You pay $50 to have someone sit and read quietly for you? You're getting screwed. My guy only charges $25 an hour.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 15:44

Living Image: Apr 24, 2010; HORSE'S ASS

I don't think I could go back to a world where I had to physically drive to a supermarket to get basic food shopping done. All the major UK ones operate delivery services, it's way easier.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 15:54

spog: Aug 7, 2004; It's your own bloody fault.

Corrode posted:

I don't think I could go back to a world where I had to physically drive to a supermarket to get basic food shopping done. All the major UK ones operate delivery services, it's way easier.

I won't buy fresh food from them anymore: every time I've ordered carrots or apples, I've gotten the dregs of the fruit and veg section.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 16:18

Philippe: Aug 9, 2013; (she/her)

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

You pay $50 to have someone sit and read quietly for you? You're getting screwed. My guy only charges $25 an hour.

lol if you dont have Enrique read to you while he feeds you grapes

# ? Feb 15, 2017 16:23

mediocre dad okay: Jan 9, 2007; The fascist don't like life then he break other's
BEAT BEAT THE FASCIST

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

How could you not think home delivery is great

You just call and say:

"Hey I need some cumin, a single stalk of celery, 2.25 lbs of boneless and skinless chicken breast, some chocolate ice cream, a can of stewed tomatoes, a box of Frosted Flakes, a dozen eggs, a gallon of milk, a six-pack of PBR, a pound of roasted turkey from the deli, a #3 from the Chinese menu, and a garden salad from the salad bar with no croutons please"

and they're all:

"no problem sir we will have that to you shortly"

In what universe is this an undesirable situation

lol if you don't hunt and gather all your ingredients then fashion your own cooking utensils out of metal you smelted yourself. What are you, some kind of shut-in nerd?

# ? Feb 15, 2017 16:35

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Grocery shopping is easy, getting all that poo poo home can be a hassle. Only time I regret not having a car (that, and when moving). I can kind of see the appeal of home delivery for that reason.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 16:37

bunnyofdoom: Mar 29, 2008; I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad!

Ha. Plebs. I subsist on air, tea, and my chi.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 16:43

Bar Crow: Oct 10, 2012

Society robbing people of basic skills so they can be sold back to them is a smart marketing move.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 16:51

walrusman: Aug 4, 2006

Moon Slayer posted:

Sure, but do you enjoy it? And if you could get away with not doing it and spend that time doing something else, wouldn't you?

I do, yeah. The hour a week that I'd save would probably just be spent loving around on the internet, so that's no great loss.

Tiggum posted:

I do enjoy it, and no, I don't get my groceries delivered even though I could, because I like looking around and deciding what I'm going to eat based on what catches my attention.

Exactly. "Hey look, shrimp is on sale, I could saute those with some olive oil and have them over linguine, better get some of that...or in a curry, need a can of coconut milk."

The only part that sucks is carrying groceries in from the car while my indoor cat tries to make a break for it.

edit:

Bar Crow posted:

Society robbing people of basic skills so they can be sold back to them is a smart marketing move.

True, but you could say the same about the advent of farming, or grocery stores themselves. How many people could feed themselves from a garden if all grocery stores disappeared tomorrow? 90% of the first world would starve to death within a month.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 17:20

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

Bar Crow posted:

Society robbing people of basic skills so they can be sold back to them is a smart marketing move.

Counterpoint, you can now find step-by-step instructions online on how to fix most anything. So you can spend 6 hours banging against your leaky, non-standard sink faucets before calling a plumber.

Tasteful Dickpic posted:

lol if you dont have Enrique read to you while he feeds you grapes

My discount Enrique's lips move when he reads.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 17:22

Slime: Jan 3, 2007

walrusman posted:

I do, yeah. The hour a week that I'd save would probably just be spent loving around on the internet, so that's no great loss.

Exactly. "Hey look, shrimp is on sale, I could saute those with some olive oil and have them over linguine, better get some of that...or in a curry, need a can of coconut milk."

The only part that sucks is carrying groceries in from the car while my indoor cat tries to make a break for it.

edit:

True, but you could say the same about the advent of farming, or grocery stores themselves. How many people could feed themselves from a garden if all grocery stores disappeared tomorrow? 90% of the first world would starve to death within a month.

you'd need a garden already set up prior to grocery stores vanishing if you didn't want to starve, so even if you know how to plant and maintain vegetables you'd still die

because you know they need to grow first

# ? Feb 15, 2017 18:48

cakesmith handyman: Jul 22, 2007; Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.

Turtlicious posted:

This is actually quite common in America though? Like most kids grow up in Foster Care man.

I'm sorry if that happened to you but do you really think the majority ("most") of children grow up in foster care? And I explicitly mentioned care givers. If you foster a kid then turf them out at 18 and they don't know how to do basic things like clean their clothes and shop for food you loving failed.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 19:18

Keystoned: Jan 27, 2012

walrusman posted:

Exactly. "Hey look, shrimp is on sale, I could saute those with some olive oil and have them over linguine, better get some of that...or in a curry, need a can of coconut milk."

Counterpoint: I am saving money on groceries now because I buy only exactly is what on my list based on meal planning for the week, eliminating all of the impusle shoppjng that really fucks your budget.

It was rare for me to get out of the store for under $200. The last three weeks Ive spent right at $100 since im doing it online. So less money, less time, more convenient? This sounds like everything we love about the internet!

I can see if youre cooking for only one person than it makes sense to zip on for 15 minutes, spend your $40 for the week and zip out. But when youre shopping for 4 and and a typical trip takes 60+ minutes online becomes super attractive. The free delivery is just a bonus - I could easily see myself paying $5-10 for the convenience.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 19:36

Mu Zeta: Oct 17, 2002; Me crush ass to dust

Don't buy shrimp on sale

# ? Feb 15, 2017 19:45

Ape Has Killed Ape: Sep 15, 2005

Mu Zeta posted:

Don't buy shrimp on sale

It's fine if you're going to use them the same day or tomorrow, just don't let them sit in the fridge for half a week.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 19:57

CommonShore: Jun 6, 2014; A true renaissance man

Mu Zeta posted:

Don't buy shrimp on sale

Day olds are day olds regardless of the size.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 20:00

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Beachcomber posted:

This is not me, but in my experience it's just a basic disconnect between knowing what you want and being able to conceptualize the groceries needed to realize it. There's also a very real element of choice overload. There's like 10 kinds of chicken and 20 kinds of sausage.

Those are just off the top of my head. If you have basically not seen food prepared, just that choice can be paralyzing and you don't even have anything else.

Goons:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHIcmoY3_lE

Mu Zeta posted:

Don't buy shrimp on sale

Only shrimp you should be buying in a grocery store are IQF frozen. The "fresh" ones behind the counter were frozen until the store thawed them out for display. If you're in a seafood store where the shrimp are actually alive, like in a tank, those are good, but other than that buy the frozen ones.

Phanatic has a new favorite as of 20:15 on Feb 15, 2017

# ? Feb 15, 2017 20:10

Mu Zeta: Oct 17, 2002; Me crush ass to dust

Ape Has Killed Ape posted:

It's fine if you're going to use them the same day or tomorrow, just don't let them sit in the fridge for half a week.

It's basically dog food. Shimp is already frozen in most places in the country. I live by the beach and even here most of the grocery stores sell frozen shrimp. If that poo poo is on sale then it's really goddamn old.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 20:28

NoneMoreNegative: Jul 20, 2000; GOTH FASCISTIC
PAIN MASTER

shit wizard dad

Ape Has Killed Ape posted:

It's fine if you're going to use them the same day or tomorrow, just don't let them sit in the fridge for half a week.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWXjkvc--EM&t=33s

# ? Feb 15, 2017 20:32

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

JnnyThndrs posted:

I always hated grocery shopping(although I did it since I'm an adult)because the stores were always a crowded hellhole full of indecisive elderly blocking the aisles and screaming children begging Mommy for poo poo.

Since I started working a job with odd hours, I now go shopping at 6am or so and the place is empty, so I can ponder what ingredients I need and snap-decide on what I'll make for the week without being That Guy slowing everybody down. Really improved what I make for dinner, and would most likely help people who have issues with crowds.

Early morning shopping is great, but with the downside that the sell-by-date steaks usually haven't been marked down yet.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 20:46

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Mu Zeta posted:

It's basically dog food. Shimp is already frozen in most places in the country. I live by the beach and even here most of the grocery stores sell frozen shrimp. If that poo poo is on sale then it's really goddamn old.

Aren't most shrimps harvested by factory trawlers, and frozen onboard?

# ? Feb 15, 2017 21:35

Nucular Carmul: Jan 26, 2005; Melongenidae incantatrix

walrusman posted:

How many people could feed themselves from a garden if all grocery stores disappeared tomorrow? 90% of the first world would starve to death within a month.

lol if you don't fervently wish for this every day, capitalist scum

# ? Feb 15, 2017 21:49

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Nucular Carmul posted:

lol if you don't fervently wish for this every day, capitalist scum

poo poo, it'd give me the excuse I'm looking for to shoot all the loving squirrels in my yard.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 21:58

bunnyofdoom: Mar 29, 2008; I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad!

Wait? Should I buy small pastries on sale?

# ? Feb 15, 2017 23:59

Mu Zeta: Oct 17, 2002; Me crush ass to dust

Aren't those usually just end of day? Yeah those are great. I'll buy the donuts sometimes.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 00:03

walrusman: Aug 4, 2006

Keystoned posted:

Counterpoint: I am saving money on groceries now because I buy only exactly is what on my list based on meal planning for the week, eliminating all of the impusle shoppjng that really fucks your budget.

It was rare for me to get out of the store for under $200. The last three weeks Ive spent right at $100 since im doing it online. So less money, less time, more convenient? This sounds like everything we love about the internet!

Hoooly gently caress.

I admit that I'm bad about impulse buying stuff (sure, I'll eat eight pounds of pulled pork by myself this week, right?) but I still enjoy the experience.

Keystoned posted:

I can see if youre cooking for only one person than it makes sense to zip on for 15 minutes, spend your $40 for the week and zip out. But when youre shopping for 4 and and a typical trip takes 60+ minutes online becomes super attractive. The free delivery is just a bonus - I could easily see myself paying $5-10 for the convenience.

I never said it wasn't necessary (for elderly/disabled people) or handy (for lots of others, including people who can't resist buying jewelry at the checkouts, apparently), just that it was apt to make life as a shut-in much more doable. And that grocery shopping is a "basic task," which I will stand by. If you want to use grocery delivery services, that's great, but don't expect people without severe disabilities to agree that it's like a clear-cut better option. edit: I mean I was just telling everyone last page about my generally positive opinion of Blue Apron, so I'm definitely not throwing stones from this glass house, I just don't have any desire to use it as a 100% substitute for grocery shopping.

Mu Zeta posted:

Don't buy shrimp on sale

I only buy frozen shrimp anyway, for much the same reason everyone is posting. If it's got a couple weeks left before its BB date, which it usually does, then I'll take that risk to save a few bucks. I appreciate everyone's concern about my wellbeing but I've lived this long so I'm probably fine.

walrusman has a new favorite as of 00:34 on Feb 16, 2017

# ? Feb 16, 2017 00:24

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

cakesmith handyman posted:

I'm sorry if that happened to you but do you really think the majority ("most") of children grow up in foster care? And I explicitly mentioned care givers. If you foster a kid then turf them out at 18 and they don't know how to do basic things like clean their clothes and shop for food you loving failed.

I mean yeah, everyone I knew was in Foster Care, and I grew up in Foster Care. Most "care givers" just collect a paycheck, there is no "life skills training" That's not what they're being paid for, they're being paid to feed and house you until you're 18, fullstop.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/systemwide/statistics/childwelfare-foster/

# ? Feb 16, 2017 00:47

walrusman: Aug 4, 2006

Some quick figures from Google tell me that about 415k kids in the U.S. are in foster care, out of over 74M children total. Half of one percent. A depressingly high proportion, but hardly "most" (which surely you knew, but I had already found the numbers so I may as well post them).

# ? Feb 16, 2017 02:27