/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Psycho Society posted:

Nah, I almost broke up a girl for not telling me her sister was drunk when we needed a ride and she offered to drive us. I can definitely see someone having even less tolerance for that bullshit in his circumstances. Even if it was after 5 years.

two months out from the wedding, though?

I feel like sunk cost alone would be enough to keep him in the relationship if this was the first time it happened

I'd understand if she was behind the wheel, but she was just a passenger. I just feel like the OP is omitting some things from this story.

edit; I mean I guess if he was that petrified of losing somebody he loved again but if he cares that much wouldn't this be something they'd try to work on, if it was the first incident in a five year relationship that was about to become a marriage?

Mirthless fucked around with this message at 00:40 on Feb 16, 2017

# ? Feb 16, 2017 00:36

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# ? May 14, 2024 18:29

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

Doesn't matter. Drunk driving wouldn't be anywhere as common as it is if people didn't get into cars with drunk drivers. By doing that the guy's fiance as showing that she's okay with drunk driving as long as it's convenient for her. You can see how that could be a problem.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 00:40

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Yeah, and you can't even pull the "we got home fine, she was just a little buzzed" card. They were drunk enough that they got pulled over (meaning the driver was driving dangerously enough to get noticed by a cop) and one of the passengers was drunk enough to start a fight with a cop. Their poo poo was completely hosed, and I don't blame the guy for deciding this was a dealbreaker.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 00:43

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

I know he has a good reason and all but I think it's pretty funny that he'd be unwilling to drive on less than a single beer.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 00:43

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Mirthless posted:

I'd understand if she was behind the wheel, but she was just a passenger. I just feel like the OP is omitting some things from this story.

Don't do your thing with this post. Just don't.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 00:44

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Mirthless posted:

two months out from the wedding, though?

I feel like sunk cost alone would be enough to keep him in the relationship if this was the first time it happened

I'd understand if she was behind the wheel, but she was just a passenger. I just feel like the OP is omitting some things from this story.

edit; I mean I guess if he was that petrified of losing somebody he loved again but if he cares that much wouldn't this be something they'd try to work on, if it was the first incident in a five year relationship that was about to become a marriage?

It seems pretty simple to me, he has personally been affected by death due to a drunk driver and here she is just letting her friend drive drunk. Not even just like buzzed but shouldn't be driving due to delayed reaction times but sloppy enough to fight with cops drunk.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 00:47

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

WampaLord posted:

Don't do your thing with this post. Just don't.

No, but what if the OP was secretly loving her brother behind her fiancee's back

# ? Feb 16, 2017 00:48

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Improbable Lobster posted:

No, but what if the OP was secretly loving her brother behind her fiancee's back

This one time, when Mirthless and his brother and his fiancee were at band camp...

# ? Feb 16, 2017 00:51

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Nah I get him. I lost a family member to a drunk driver, five days before Christmas to boot. gently caress that and anyone who would enable it by getting into the car with them.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:04

Patrick Spens: Jul 21, 2006; "Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"; Pillbug

WampaLord posted:

Don't do your thing with this post. Just don't.

Also, you don't need to respond to anyone calling you out. You can just not post, it's okay to be silent sometimes.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:05

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Nah I get him. I lost a family member to a drunk driver, five days before Christmas to boot. gently caress that and anyone who would enable it by getting into the car with them.

I'm sorry, that honestly loving sucks.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:06

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

WampaLord posted:

Don't do your thing with this post. Just don't.

Antivehicular posted:

Yeah, and you can't even pull the "we got home fine, she was just a little buzzed" card. They were drunk enough that they got pulled over (meaning the driver was driving dangerously enough to get noticed by a cop) and one of the passengers was drunk enough to start a fight with a cop. Their poo poo was completely hosed, and I don't blame the guy for deciding this was a dealbreaker.

whoa, whoa, whoa now, I wasn't saying he was wrong or that he was being unreasonable or anything, I was just speculating

It's an /r/relationships post, I'm always looking for what the unsympathetic posters leave out

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:09

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Improbable Lobster posted:

No, but what if the OP was secretly loving her brother behind her fiancee's back

What if it turns out OP's brother was secretly her dad and also her ex and she fucks him when he regularly stays over at their house under the guise of talking on Valentine's Day? "I'm sorry! I just wanted to cuddle tonight, but he came on so strong! Thanks for the gifts though."

Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 01:12 on Feb 16, 2017

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:09

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Psycho Society posted:

I'm sorry, that honestly loving sucks.

It's his kid that it really sucks for, I think he was 10 at the time? Also the guy in question had been an addict but finally turned his life around, was clean and doing well. The irony

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:13

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

One of the two friends I've lost to alcohol is dead because somebody loaded his unconscious rear end into a car from where he had been sleeping safely. The drunk driver of the car then proceeded to fall asleep and roll the vehicle, inflicting only minor injuries on herself and four passengers, and managing to kill the gently caress out of our sweet slumbering prince. RIP in peace, Jake.

To be fair, this didn't stop me from driving drunk for many years after. Now though, remembering that my bro was chucked out of a mom car at 3 AM during the prime of his life is an unwelcome and uncomfortable feeling when I see other people making the decision to drive drunk. If it was a family member I was remembering, I could see ending a relationship over something like what happened in that post.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:15

Sammus: Nov 30, 2005

Can we jump back to the horse story for a second?

quote:

The problem is Derek and I are not on the same page. Derek loves the outdoors, but is a solitary sort of guy. He has a horse and two dogs. He takes great care of his horse and is outside more of the day working with his dogs, his horse, and the goats he somehow decided were his. He bought them from my parents and refuses to have them slaughtered or used for breeding. He just says they are like pets and he enjoys playing with them.

That really stood out to me, because in my mind, they're now his goats.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:17

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Sammus posted:

Can we jump back to the horse story for a second?

That really stood out to me, because in my mind, they're now his goats.

I sold this fucker a car and he won't let me use it on weekends

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:18

tater_salad: Sep 15, 2007

Moridin920 posted:

I'd feel very very disgruntled in an "unhappy vassal in CK2" kind of way but it's their money to do with what they will.

I'd def cut off that financial support though because gently caress them then haha.

Yeah exactly, 2 routes she can go.
Well since I'm not getting any of the house or your inheritance guess I need to save more. Mom, brother I guess I can't afford to support you because I need more savings.

Well since I'm paying for the house kind of but not getting any return for it guess yall are cut off, have a nice day.

Both should end with a microphone drop.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:22

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Sammus posted:

Can we jump back to the horse story for a second?

That really stood out to me, because in my mind, they're now his goats.

How dare he decide that the animals he bought are his property to not use as he pleases! At least turn them into Jell-O powder or something!

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:25

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

There's this odd set of people out there who still for whatever reason don't think drunk driving is a big deal. It doesn't correlate to class or race or gender or any other of the usual demographic dividers. They just appear out of nowhere. It's the weirdest thing.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:26

chumbler: Mar 28, 2010

Pvt.Scott posted:

How dare he decide that the animals he bought are his property to not use as he pleases! At least turn them into Jell-O powder or something!

To be fair the goats are probably assholes like all goats.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:28

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

TheScott2K posted:

There's this odd set of people out there who still for whatever reason don't think drunk driving is a big deal. It doesn't correlate to class or race or gender or any other of the usual demographic dividers. They just appear out of nowhere. It's the weirdest thing.

they're called alcoholics :ssh:

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:28

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

TheScott2K posted:

There's this odd set of people out there who still for whatever reason don't think drunk driving is a big deal. It doesn't correlate to class or race or gender or any other of the usual demographic dividers. They just appear out of nowhere. It's the weirdest thing.

It was waaaayyy commoner in Minnesota than it is here in Oregon.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:40

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Living in NYC and never having to worry about picking a DD is pretty great, almost balances out the insane cost of living!

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:44

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

I wonder if drunk driving has reduced since Uber/lyft/whatever became a thing.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:45

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

MF_James posted:

I wonder if drunk driving has reduced since Uber/lyft/whatever became a thing.

They're just collecting fares now.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:47

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

MF_James posted:

I wonder if drunk driving has reduced since Uber/lyft/whatever became a thing.

I mean, taxis have been around for a long time

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:58

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Improbable Lobster posted:

I mean, taxis have been around for a long time

yeah but now they're sadder and more exploitative than ever

# ? Feb 16, 2017 01:58

chumbler: Mar 28, 2010

Pick posted:

yeah but now they're sadder and more exploitative than ever

I think the word you're looking for is "disruptive." Get with the crowd sourced, tech-based, sharing gig economy.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 02:02

Stunt_enby: Feb 6, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

MF_James posted:

I wonder if drunk driving has reduced since Uber/lyft/whatever became a thing.

It has not, anything you've heard to the contrary is propaganda from those companies.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 02:04

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

^--- hadn't heard anything, hence the pondering if it had or not.

Improbable Lobster posted:

I mean, taxis have been around for a long time

Yeah, but taxis can be a loving pain in the rear end. I live in Chicago, so typically I have an easy time provided I'm in a high traffic area. If I go to a suburb? hosed. If I'm in an area of the city that's more residential? hosed. It's a snowy hellhole outside and/or cold as gently caress? hosed (because I have to stand outside in that poo poo for however long it takes to get a cab). In one of those 3 situations and try to call a cab company to send a cab? HAHAHAHHAHA 75% of the time they will just straight up not show up, the other 25% of the time they will take 30+ minutes.

Uber/Lyft has made it EXTREMELY convenient to get a ride, hit the app, wait 1-10 minutes, walk outside, and you're gone.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 02:05

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

MF_James posted:

I wonder if drunk driving has reduced since Uber/lyft/whatever became a thing.

Having personally witnessed dozens upon dozens of situations in which a drunk person chose those services over driving, I'd be pretty shocked if it hasn't contributed to a decent extent.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 02:06

Play: Apr 25, 2006; Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Also this reminds me of living in south america where the majority of taxi drivers are permanently blitzed all day every day

# ? Feb 16, 2017 02:07

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

MF_James posted:

^--- hadn't heard anything, hence the pondering if it had or not.

Yeah, but taxis can be a loving pain in the rear end. I live in Chicago, so typically I have an easy time provided I'm in a high traffic area. If I go to a suburb? hosed. If I'm in an area of the city that's more residential? hosed. It's a snowy hellhole outside and/or cold as gently caress? hosed (because I have to stand outside in that poo poo for however long it takes to get a cab). In one of those 3 situations and try to call a cab company to send a cab? HAHAHAHHAHA 75% of the time they will just straight up not show up, the other 25% of the time they will take 30+ minutes.

Uber/Lyft has made it EXTREMELY convenient to get a ride, hit the app, wait 1-10 minutes, walk outside, and you're gone.

They're just taxi companies

# ? Feb 16, 2017 02:10

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Improbable Lobster posted:

They're just taxi companies

Your computer is just a calculator.

Basically I'm calling you an idiot.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 02:13

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

MF_James posted:

Your computer is just a calculator.

Basically I'm calling you an idiot.

Having an app doesn't make them different from a taxi. Sorry that you had to turn to an unlicensed and exploitative jitney cab company because the legal companies were lovely in your town.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 02:17

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Improbable Lobster posted:

They're just taxi companies

To be fair they are a lot worse than Taxi Companies.

# ? Feb 16, 2017 02:21

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

i thought taxico sold oil :downs:

# ? Feb 16, 2017 02:22

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Who the hell cares, let's find out what those wacky redditors have been up to

quote:

Me [50 F] with my friend [52 F] of 32 years, I want to stop being friends

submitted 28 minutes ago by fustymusty101

I have a friendship that has run its course, and I would like to let the other person know that I am finished.

To summarize: Chelsea and I have been friends since college. She has always been a high maintenance friend, in that her life has never, in the 32 years I�ve known her, been without drama. It just doesn�t stop.

We live in different states, so we don�t have a regular, steady friendship. It�s common for us to go 2-3 months between calls or emails. Although we were very close and roomed together in college, this was just the turn that our lives took.

This past summer, I got married (my first [and hopefully only!]marriage). I invited her and her husband to events before the wedding as well as the wedding itself. They accepted to attend all.

In the months leading up to the wedding, I asked her several times when she would be getting to town so that we could hang out before the activities all got started. She gave vague answers and never actually committed. She ended up skipping the pre-wedding events, without contacting me at all about that. The morning of the wedding, she texted me to tell me that her husband couldn�t attend, but that she would be bringing her brother instead.

All of this irritated me, but the last part pissed me off so hard. I did not give her tickets to a game; I sent her and her husband personalized invitations to my wedding. A special event that I was VERY keen to not have guests at who did not love either myself or my husband. It was a big deal to me that this be an intimate event, and not an obligation. My feelings toward her brother are not kind or even just indifferent -- I despise him. Over the many years, he has been incredibly rude to me on more than one occasion, and his typical demeanor is spoiled, bratty, and appallingly immature. I can�t stand him. I didn�t invite him, and it was for a reason! But my friend just brought him anyway. I considered this to be incredibly rude. There is no excuse in my book for bringing an uninvited guest to crash my wedding.

So at that point, I was about done. I gave short answers to some of my friend�s texts after the wedding, but I didn�t reach out to her. I then received a couple messages that I found insulting enough in their entitlement that I just stopped answering entirely. They were:

An invitation to spend Thanksgiving with her. An invitation that seemed to be for just me, and not me and my husband. This is inconsiderate at best. Why on earth would I choose to spend the first Thanksgiving of my marriage away from my husband? I�m kind of in love with the guy, y�know.

An emergency request to teach her a skill I have that she lacks. A skill that I spend 8 years acquiring. A skill that she wanted me to teach her in a week with the specific intention of her teaching it to others, because she had already signed up to teach it. What the gently caress. I find it really diminishing of the time and effort I put into acquiring this skill to presume that I could teach it to her in a week. And maybe it�s an �emergency� that she learn the skill to her, but it is absolutely an emergency she created by signing on to do something she can�t do. Not my problem.

So I didn�t reply to either of those messages. Or the ones that followed. Looking back, I can now see many instances where she asked for major last minute favors, and I�ve delivered. But again, in retrospect, they were not appropriate favors to ask, especially with the level of friendship we had.

It�s now been about 6 months since I�ve replied to her, and her messages are getting more desperate and insistent. She is piling on the depressing drama. She is making statements about coming to my house. Cynically, I believe that she sees the person she uses and dumps her drama on is getting away, so she�s ramping up the contact to try to suck me back in.

Although my procrastination has been enough to declare that I have ghosted her, I don�t really want to do that. I also don�t want to try to repair the relationship. The drama that was exciting when I was in college is now just exhausting and irritating. At this point, I just want out.

Can anyone give me a short message I could text or email her that just kindly but firmly says that the friendship is over? I�m a little worried that she will claim to be suicidal (see: drama), and I would like to avoid that if possible. I also don�t want to point out specifically why I am done with her, because 1. I don�t want to deal with her offering to fix herself or asking for another change, and 2. I don�t want her to have a written record she could forward to mutual friends that makes me look like a jerk.

To be clear, it is impossible to suck me back in. The only question now is what, if anything, I will say to her to indicate that our friendship has run its course.

Any brilliant thoughts?

tl;dr: Time to ditch an old friend. How to go it kindly, but firmly, with no room for discussion?

# ? Feb 16, 2017 02:24

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# ? May 14, 2024 18:29

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

OP should've told the girl and then asked her out on some dates to secretly give her dating experience or some such. Stuff like that is a cute way to help out ultra anxious bodies. But I don't know why she told her just to bully her or something???? What was she thinking? High schoolers are idiots.

But would you be saying that if their genders were reversed :smug:

# ? Feb 16, 2017 02:24

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