Dick Valentine posted:

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

OP deleted this post but luckily I had it open in another window because holy poo poo-

Soon to be SIL (30'sF) hates my lesbian-casket shaking best friend (31F), and is wagging war demanding that my family cease contact. (Really long-Sorry- non-romantic)[new]

submitted 6 hours ago * by Casketshakersunit

quote:

My issue is a little complicated, so this is a long post. My eldest brother is getting married to Amy (30's). Amy and Brandon's relationship sort of blossomed out of no where, and they moved quickly. Amy didn't get nearly any time spent with my family before she and Brandon became engaged, and she started aggressively planning the wedding. Amy's a bridezilla. e.g. Amy wanted me to be a bridesmaid, and I declined because she asked me the first time I had ever met her. I wasn't comfortable being a bridesmaid, because I literally didn't know anything about her and didn't even recognize her or her name. Amy was mad, but then decided to invite me to every wedding-party-only event. I didn't attend, because of work and not being in the wedding party. Amy then decided she wanted me to get ordained and marry her and my brother. I declined again. Amy grew increasingly hostile. I've known Amy for less than a year.

Gloryhold It! posted:

Maybe a little about dropping the baby too

quote:

Let’s call her, Usagi Cool named after Usagi Tsukino from Sailor Moon

Beachcomber posted:

This kind of thing happens to lots of men, and harping about it is only going to give him a complex.

Dick Valentine posted:

tactlessbastard posted:

Depends. Were they in Walmart when he dropped the baby?


Let's not.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

haruhi tsukino

e:

Sisal Two-Step posted:

haruhi tsukino

e:

zegermans posted:

Mad Dog is half man, half bear, half pig.

Danaru posted:

I [24M] want to date with my friend [20F] but I don't know what to say or do about it.



I want to crawl into a woodchipper

CannonFodder posted:

I got as far as "screen writer" and saw the rest of the screed and peaced out. NO YOU ARE NOT WOODY ALLEN

CannonFodder posted:

From the writer of Annie Hall, and the director of Rosemary's Baby, comes the new thriller What's Coming To Them

Produced by Interpol.

CannonFodder posted:

From the writer of Annie Hall, and the director of Rosemary's Baby, comes the new thriller What's Coming To Them

Produced by Interpol.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

haruhi tsukino

e:

Mirthless posted:

Anime Hall

Struggling writer, SHMOODY HALLEN meets a manic pixie catgirl ten years his junior at an anime convention and they strike up an implausibly unlikely whirlwind romance - 5 STARS, FOR SOME loving REASON

quote:

I [22f] agreed to an open relationship with my boyfriend [28m] and I regret it now that he has had sex with other women, but he always wins with logic when things like this come up.Relationships
submitted an hour ago by sadgirlfri_nd

I have been with John for the last three years. I love him so much and I want to stay with him, but we keep getting in fights about the "terms" of our relationship. Ultimately, I think this is because John has a way of talking me into things logically that I feel uncomfortable with, and I often walk away from these conversations thinking "wait, why did I agree to that?" But once it's done, it's done, and it's made out like I'm the illogical/crazy one for agreeing to something and then taking it back (which, maybe I am, because I don't really understand why I change my mind about things like this either).

The most serious example is something that happened a few months ago but just turned into an issue. He told me in December that he wanted to make our relationship open. I was really taken aback by this and, to be honest, kind of hurt. My first response was to tell him I wasn't interested in being with anyone but him.

Then a few days later, he laid out for me why he thought it was necessary to have an open relationship. Essentially, he has a higher sex drive than me, we frequently end up arguing about whether to have sex, he won't have to make me feel pressured anymore if he's able to step out, it will make him happier and healthier which will make the relationship happier and healthier, which I should want if I care about my own wellbeing. The reasoning started to make sense to me and I said I could consider an arrangement where we would both be allowed to be with other people. Then he said "wait a second, I thought you weren't interested in anyone else?" and turned it into an argument about me being hosed up and vindictive for wanting the relationship to be open on my end when I wasn't even interested in having sex with anyone else. This is the sort of thing he does in arguments that makes me get totally lost. I ended up feeling so guilty and broken down I cried for hours until he finally said he could forgive me if I agreed to a relationship that was open on his end and closed on my end so that I could prove I wanted him to be happy and didn't want to hurt him. I DO NOT WANT this kind of relationship. But at that point in the conversation, I felt so terrible and just wanted to fix it and agreed to the arrangement.

Since then, he has had sex with three other women. I told him yesterday that I couldn't stick to this arrangement anymore, and now he's furious at me for faking him out and pretending to be OK with something I wasn't OK with. But I didn't mean to fake him out - I agreed to it in the moment because I was confused and felt like he was laying out a logical argument I couldn't disagree with.

And again, it gets turned around on me the second I open my mouth about it. I'm the one who's backwards because I can't stick with what I've agreed to, or cruel for being unwilling to do something that I've admitted makes sense. He accused me of pretending not to be happy with it so I could get leverage and make him feel like he hurt me, and says he refuses to feel like he has hurt me when I gave him permission to do this. He makes it sound like I'm feeling the way I do on purpose just to hurt him, like I'm being manipulative, but I do want him to be happy; I just don't want to have this kind of relationship, because it makes ME unhappy. I think ideas like this sound totally reasonable until he picks them apart.

Likewise, whenever he does something I consider mean/hurtful, he somehow turns it around on me if I tell him how I feel. He's EXTREMELY honest and values honesty a lot, so he doesn't hold back in telling me things like "you would be about 10% more attractive if your teeth were straight," or "I'm a little less attracted to you now that you've gained weight," or "I don't think you're stupid, but I'm definitely smarter than you, all our grades and test scores prove that." He says things like this out of nowhere and not in a way that's "mean," almost more like interested/curious.

So, he says something mean to me, and I tell him my feelings are hurt, and he goes into an hour-long tirade about how if I try to police what he says, I'm asking him to repress his feelings for me, and him being honest with me is the highest form of kindness, so I'm asking him to be LESS kind to me, which is cruel because it will end up causing rifts in our relationship that I'll name him as responsible for. Or anytime I disagree with him about something and stand up for it, I'm "valuing that thing" more than I value him/our relationship, so I basically feel like I can't disagree with him unless it's the hill I want to die on.

Basically, I feel like I don't know how to "win" an argument with him, but I don't want to argue with him at all. And I don't think he actually wants to argue with me either - I think he just has a hard time seeing things from my point of view, and the more I ask him to, the more it comes off like I'm being self-centered/emotional/illogical.

tl;dr: My boyfriend talks me into things through logic that I don't really agree with, and I feel like if I ever disagree with him he convinces me to feel guilty and self-centered. I agreed to get into an open relationship on his end only, and now I'm sad and regretful when I think about him being with other women, but he acts like I'm being cruel for going back on our agreement.

Streak posted:

i went back and read like half the sailor moon post (baby steps) and lmao

then i googled a sentence from it, found the guys profile and holy gently caress what a dingus

he's a screenwriter:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4uwZPZ_5DPpbXpkOTJIdzQzeFE/view



there is more where this came from

e: i feel sad now. don't find this guys profile. holy gently caress.

Pick posted:

logic

Pick posted:

logic

Tolkien minority posted:

"I have been with John for the last three years. I love him so much and I want to stay with him"
there has literally never been a post that started that way where the so wasn't terrible.

quote:

I (29M) broke up with my ex (27F) almost 7 months ago and now wish I had another chance to give it a go, but she's seeing someone new - what do I do?Breakups
submitted 5 hours ago * by laserchampion

So we were together for 6 years. We were long distance for the majority of the relationship until the final few months when she moved in with me and my friend.

Ultimately, she is a wonderful human being, with so so many amazing qualities. She's lovely, super creative, full of life, kind, fit in so well with my family who loved her, we had the same views on the fundamentals - basically a rare person.

I did know that at the time, but I broke up with her because whilst I loved her I wasn't in love with her - I think because I was too focused on what she didn't have/what my ideal woman would have. She was obviously devastated because she was in love with me, and tried to tell me that I didn't realise the importance of what we had, that the perfect person doesn't exist, and that you get out what you put in. But I wasn't really hearing her.

It's been nearly 7 months and whilst I went on some dates with different girls in November, I have been on my own since. I made lots of plans for how to be a better version of me before I turn 30 in August, but whilst I started with good intentions I've found it harder and harder to motivate myself, and felt increasingly lonely. She was always there for me, looked after me and I've found it hard to drive myself to do the things I planned without her.

I was doing some tidying last week and came across the birthday card she left for me shortly after we broke up - with a long heartfelt message saying that she wished I could see what we had, and that she felt lucky to have been with me and she hoped I could be happy. I broke down and bawled my eyes out.

I started thinking that maybe I had been too idealistic and focused on the idea of perfection that I didn't just appreciate what I had in front of me, and that I didn't try hard enough to be happy with her.

Then I found out indirectly, through bumping into her at the station, she's been seeing someone for the last nearly 3 months. Not only that, but he lives in the exact same part of town as me. And I heard from my sister, who'd met up with her, everything she'd said about him.

After starting to think about whether reconciliation was possible, to find this out crushed me. It's been a few days since I found out and I've been crying loads and thinking about her with someone else is like a dagger to my chest.
I don't know what to do. I've read so much about why you shouldn't get back with an ex and friends have given all sorts of advice but I'm just finding it so hard to comprehend right now.

Has anyone been through similar, or have some advice?

TL:DR; broke up with ex as I wasn't in love with her at the time but now thinking I should have tried harder and wishing I had that opportunity now, despite the fact she's seeing someone new - please help!

Pick posted:

logic

So, he says something mean to me, and I tell him my feelings are hurt, and he goes into an hour-long tirade about how if I try to police what he says, I'm asking him to repress his feelings for me, and him being honest with me is the highest form of kindness, so I'm asking him to be LESS kind to me, which is cruel because it will end up causing rifts in our relationship that I'll name him as responsible for. Or anytime I disagree with him about something and stand up for it, I'm "valuing that thing" more than I value him/our relationship, so I basically feel like I can't disagree with him unless it's the hill I want to die on.

Charles Get-Out posted:

At this point I'm pretty sure this is evidence of an abuser engineering an emotional dependency.

quote:

I can't even deal with everyone in here saying he's abusive. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just so overwhelmed hearing that. I have been in an abusive relationship before, and I think one of the reasons it's hard for me to speak up in this relationship is that I still have a lot of the same fears and anxieties that my ex's behavior trained me to feel.

I don't think of John as abusive because he never hits me and rarely even yells or gets upset. He's very calm in these conversations, but that makes it even harder for me to express my feelings without feeling guilty, because I get worked up and he's totally calm, which he says is because he knows logic is on his side while all I have is emotions and manipulation. But I do consistently come away from these conversations feeling like I haven't been heard and like something isn't right. I don't know if that's on him or on me, but it really hurts.

Pick posted:

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

auuuugh skin crawling

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

auuuugh skin crawling

quote:

quote:

Similarly, his tirades about getting to say whatever he wants however he wants tell you he considers that more important

YES. I've tried to argue this before. But to him, it's different, because my responses to what he's saying are illogical and reactionary, whereas when I value monogamy over him, his hurt feelings are logical because what I'm saying doesn't make sense (if I admit that I don't want to have sex as much as he wants to, and that I don't to argue with him about having sex, it's unfair for me to deny him the ability to stop those arguments from happening, so him being upset with me is logical because I'm putting him in an unfair position).

Pick posted:

breakup