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anybody have a good spell for summoning jungle cat into audience to attack audience and choke some of the facultystaff and punch my chest make my chest dissapear?
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Mar 1, 2017 00:50
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please, stop RPing as a wizard now, you're 40 years old.
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Mar 1, 2017 00:54
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a bone to pick posted:please, stop RPing as a wizard now, you're 40 years old. you got it backwards, that's when you start
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Mar 1, 2017 00:55
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key party favors posted:you got it backwards, that's when you start when my wizardly powers are at thier very peak! and no meddling women around to siphon my energy and ruin my plans!
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Mar 1, 2017 00:58
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a bone to pick posted:please, stop RPing as a wizard now, you're 40 years old. Yes everyone over 30 please stop having any and all fun and go stand alone in the corner weeping for the next 50+ years thanks
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Mar 1, 2017 01:38
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naem posted:Yes everyone over 30 please stop having any and all fun and go stand alone in the corner weeping for the next 50+ years thanks Yeah, this isn't the Suburban Dad thread. But seriously, there's an entire subforum where grown goons pretend to be other things.
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Mar 1, 2017 01:41
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naem posted:Yes everyone over 30 please stop having any and all fun and go stand alone in the corner weeping for the next 50+ years thanks The ol' 50 year stand in the corner and weeping to summon an extra planar gloomphage ritual... classic prank..
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Mar 1, 2017 01:43
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vcvcvc12 posted:I dunno, there seem to be a few non-evil wizards here. I'd be happy to take it off your hands. Please send several extremely powerful paladins to escort it to the location I message to you. After all I have a former paladin fortress to house it in. I promise I won't murder your paladins and feed them to my eldritch abomination, while selling the spell book to a demon Lord for a couple of imps.
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Mar 1, 2017 05:00
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key party favors posted:The ol' 50 year stand in the corner and weeping to summon an extra planar gloomphage ritual... classic prank..
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Mar 1, 2017 05:08
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i made up a pan of beef stroganoff and i threw in a bunch of frozen veggies and it turned out really good for such a no-effort dinner it was like magic
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Mar 1, 2017 05:23
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Screaming Idiot posted:i made up a pan of beef stroganoff and i threw in a bunch of frozen veggies and it turned out really good for such a no-effort dinner What do you use? None of the supermarket mixes I've tried taste as good as restaurant strog.
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Mar 1, 2017 08:04
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key party favors posted:all magic is evil, right? stop pretending 'non-evil' wizards. all magic is evil. As a mad scientist, this is a theory I can get behind.
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Mar 1, 2017 08:23
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Magic is cool and good. (Keep The Laws.)
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Mar 1, 2017 13:21
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*40 page essay on why calling me a warlock is NOT ok*
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Mar 1, 2017 13:36
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Magic is cool and good.
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Mar 1, 2017 19:32
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naem posted:breaks the laws Do you even know what The Laws are? I'm not talking about laws for some kind of dummy no-maj. Come on my dude. Be real. If any of you Break The Laws, I'm not going to do poo poo but laugh at the everlasting torment you've brought upon yourself by ignoring basic safety precautions.
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Mar 1, 2017 20:20
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Do you even know what The Laws are? I'm not talking about laws for some kind of dummy no-maj. those are more 'guidelines'. If you're telling me I CAN'T draw upon the Dark Magicks from 28th Liminal Plane of The Elder Archetypon of Sorrow you might as well turn in your Evil Wizard Mantle. Everyone knows it's an Evil Wizard's job is to break the boundaries of ethereal law, sure... a few of our colleagues might accidentally unleash devastating horror, or get devoured by books... but we can't just keep relying on skeleton armies. You gotta think outside the scrying orb, man. Smoke some nightgrass, have a bit of moonwine, and disentwine the fabric of fate. That's why we all got in this business in the first place.
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Mar 1, 2017 20:45
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:If any of you Break The Laws, I'm not going to do poo poo but laugh at the everlasting torment you've brought upon yourself by ignoring basic safety precautions. no need for warnings. let them gently caress up, more mana to go around for everyone else
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Mar 1, 2017 21:52
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key party favors posted:those are more 'guidelines'. If you're telling me I CAN'T draw upon the Dark Magicks from 28th Liminal Plane of The Elder Archetypon of Sorrow you might as well turn in your Evil Wizard Mantle. Everyone knows it's an Evil Wizard's job is to break the boundaries of ethereal law, sure... a few of our colleagues might accidentally unleash devastating horror, or get devoured by books... but we can't just keep relying on skeleton armies. You gotta think outside the scrying orb, man. Smoke some nightgrass, have a bit of moonwine, and disentwine the fabric of fate. That's why we all got in this business in the first place. No, those things are totally permitted. Look at this guy. He doesn't even know what The Laws are! Capital T, Capital L, The Laws are the framework of unreality that allows magic to even be a thing. Amassing hideous eldritch power is totally encouraged. If you don't know by now, my telling you won't help any, I guess. Rutibex posted:no need for warnings. let them gently caress up, more mana to go around for everyone else You're right, but one of the ways I derive my power is vague warnings about Keeping The Laws. It's more for me and my smug sense of self-satisfaction than for anything else. It's truly amazing what you can power if you know you're always right.
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Mar 1, 2017 22:14
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key party favors posted:... but we can't just keep relying on skeleton armies. Well la dee da mister fancy pants. Thinks he's too good for skeletons eh? Some of us humble working class fellows have done pretty well with nothing more than *raise skeleton* and passing a couple well timed charisma checks. Skeletons are a classic for a reason
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Mar 1, 2017 22:34
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Skeletons are incredible. If anything, we've only scratched the surface of evil skeleton applications. I have a buddy doing a prestige in applied barding who has done incredible things. He's got a self-sustaining loop of skeletons playing skull drums. The evil drumming kills the living and animates the dead, the corpses rip off their skulls and use them as drums, yada yada, you get the idea. The best part is, it takes a single animate dead to get the thing running. That's it. I know a lot of evil wizards aren't interested in anything bard-related, but musical evil is really coming into its own. There's a lot of bad will from the swamp prog era and it's easy to see why, but I encourage you to check our some of the new ideas. They're not all melee combat buffs from idiots with good hair.
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Mar 1, 2017 22:48
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you have to be careful with exponential skeleton growth. if you get to many together in one area they can spontaneously form into a sentient crypt golem, and then you have some problems
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Mar 1, 2017 22:58
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I can pee with the force of ten men.
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Mar 1, 2017 23:47
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Is there an osha for industrial wizardry? Im looking at expanding beyond freelance work and I dont want to get in trouble for not wearing the proper pointy hat.
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Mar 1, 2017 23:49
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Hihohe posted:Is there an osha for industrial wizardry? Im looking at expanding beyond freelance work and I dont want to get in trouble for not wearing the proper pointy hat. There is but they mostly just check that your castle has enough skulls, metal spikes at eye level, big winding unlit staircases without handrails, and if you don't have enough bodily fluids spilled on a catwalk over a bottomless pit to cause a fall hazard they cite you
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Mar 2, 2017 00:20
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Rutibex posted:you have to be careful with exponential skeleton growth. if you get to many together in one area they can spontaneously form into a sentient crypt golem, and then you have some problems I'm laughing evily at anyone who doesn't keep their skeletons on a strictly programmatic behavior. Posted from my skeleton computer.
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Mar 2, 2017 00:21
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what the gently caress is this poo poo *burns down a village of peasants with fireballs*
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Mar 2, 2017 00:32
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jon joe posted:I'm laughing evily at anyone who doesn't keep their skeletons on a strictly programmatic behavior. What's your Bone OS?
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Mar 2, 2017 00:58
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key party favors posted:What's your Bone OS? Ubonetu
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Mar 2, 2017 01:00
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Just lol if your still using skeletons. Crystals are where its at right now. My Crystal slicers bring me an adventurer head every day plus they get good reception in the country.
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Mar 2, 2017 01:17
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Why settle for skeletons? Invest in golems. Sure they're way expensive but when intruders or hicks with torches and pitchforks come knocking the pants making GBS threads terror they induce is worth it.
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Mar 2, 2017 01:36
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There's nothing wrong with skeletons, heck, I have skeletons manning most of my castle at the moment... If you have a translocating castle that only appears every few moons (like I do), they phase in and out brilliantly. Good stuff... Crystals are great too, mean lol if you aren't backing up your malevolent soul magic on crystals these days... Anyway... some knucklehead villagers decided to destroy a lodestone atop one of my favorite peaks... so I'm looking to phase in my castle to a different locale next full moon... can someone hook me up with a good spot? I'll unban you from my library. Namaste.
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Mar 2, 2017 01:37
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I supplement my Crystal guardians with the average goblin minions. You gotta a love the little guys. I think one of them is a member on SA. Just remember NEVER teach them magic. Goblin shamans are cool and all but they always get too big for their britches and bugger off with a handful of your lessers.
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Mar 2, 2017 01:43
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key party favors posted:There's nothing wrong with skeletons, heck, I have skeletons manning most of my castle at the moment... If you have a translocating castle that only appears every few moons (like I do), they phase in and out brilliantly. Good stuff... Crystals are great too, mean lol if you aren't backing up your malevolent soul magic on crystals these days... That's a tough sell so close to spring harvest and planting season otherwise a fallow field would be perfect. Find an abandoned graveyard and restock on skeletons.
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Mar 2, 2017 01:44
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Hihohe posted:I supplement my Crystal guardians with the average goblin minions. You gotta a love the little guys. I think one of them is a member on SA. Goblins are fun but I know a guy who had some working for him unionize and what a NIGHTMARE haha I mean a metaphorical nightmare not, you know a dark spooky dream (those are fun)
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Mar 2, 2017 02:03
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Goblins have to eat and poo poo. Have you ever smelled goblin poo poo? Undead servants and magical automatons are the only way to go.
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Mar 2, 2017 02:07
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Automatic Slim posted:Goblins have to eat and poo poo. Have you ever smelled goblin poo poo? Undead servants and magical automatons are the only way to go. I usually go with inter-dimensional goblins, who pop into this plane of existence and pop out when their shift is done (they eat and poop back home mostly). Problem is they're "independent contractors" and that is tax time nightmare (again not the fun kind of nightmare)
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Mar 2, 2017 02:12
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Hey guys I have a real problem. I used to be a death wizard who was prolonging his life through the use of a necromantic amulet, but just yesterday I accidentally mixed dragon's blood with ooze acid and well I've just darn near melted my whole body off. Does this mean I'm a lich now? I've always considered "boning up" but now I seriously have to face the consequences of this action and I'm worried that my A.D.W.A membership might be revoked. Any advice for what to do after an accidental lichification?
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Mar 2, 2017 02:19
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fleshy echidna posted:Hey guys I have a real problem. I used to be a death wizard who was prolonging his life through the use of a necromantic amulet, but just yesterday I accidentally mixed dragon's blood with ooze acid and well I've just darn near melted my whole body off. Does this mean I'm a lich now? I've always considered "boning up" but now I seriously have to face the consequences of this action and I'm worried that my A.D.W.A membership might be revoked. Any advice for what to do after an accidental lichification? Well you should really have insurance set up in advance for this kind of thing but sounds like you just need to grow some flesh back which won't be too hard (expensive though). Unless you want to go full lich in which case I'm hiring
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Mar 2, 2017 02:25
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| # ? May 9, 2024 21:27 |
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fleshy echidna posted:Hey guys I have a real problem. I used to be a death wizard who was prolonging his life through the use of a necromantic amulet, but just yesterday I accidentally mixed dragon's blood with ooze acid and well I've just darn near melted my whole body off. Does this mean I'm a lich now? I've always considered "boning up" but now I seriously have to face the consequences of this action and I'm worried that my A.D.W.A membership might be revoked. Any advice for what to do after an accidental lichification? if you havent put your soul into a phylactery you are not a lich dude you are like a honda civic with fake exhaust tips, get gud and come back when you have spilled an innocent life and used its soul essence to transfer your soul into a neato magical doohickey for some heroes to stumble across. god.
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Mar 2, 2017 02:25
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