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Durandal1707
Oct 11, 2013

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

We need a thread for the 2013 draft because woof, what a bunch of stinkers in that first round.

Fluker's really terrible now and it's a shame, he looked solid his rookie year.

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Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

You might say his rookie name was a flu- :fuckoff:

Shangri-Law School
Feb 19, 2013

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

We need a thread for the 2013 draft because woof, what a bunch of stinkers in that first round.

"Outdrafted by the Lions" is something you can say about every team in that draft. A bad sign.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Just look at this 1st round.

Eric Fisher – mediocre, overpaid
Luke Joeckel – bust
Dion Jordan – injuries, suspension, bust
Lane Johnson – good player
Ezekiel Ansah – good player
Barkevious Mingo – total bust
Jonathan Cooper – injuries/bust
Tavon Austin – semi bust, might be good if used properly
Dee Milliner – bust
Chance Warmack – bust
D.J. Fluker – flukey!
D.J. Hayden – inconsistent and injured
Sheldon Richardson – good player, horrible person
Star Lotulelei – good player
Kenny Vaccaro – inconsistent
EJ Manuel – total bust
Jarvis Jones – bust
Eric Reid – inconsistent
Justin Pugh – good player
Kyle Long – good player
Tyler Eifert – always injured
Desmond Trufant – very good player
Sharrif Floyd – good
Bjoern Werner – :lol:
Xavier Rhodes – good
Datone Jones – who the gently caress even is this?
DeAndre Hopkins – elite player
Sylvester Williams – semi bust
Cordarrelle Patterson – one great year, then disappeared
Alec Ogletree – good player
Travis Frederick – excellent
Matt Elam – bust

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!
I remember the Cowboys getting a lot of flack for taking Frederick too. If there were a redraft he'd go top 5 and maybe #2?

Hopkins probably goes one, then you've got Leveon Bell, Travis Kelce, and Frederick in some order. Then Sheldon Richardson if you trust him to not be a total idiot, or maybe Tyrann Matthieu if you trust him to not be hurt so much. Who am I missing from that draft who'd be arguable top 5?

e: Oops Trufant for sure.

Shangri-Law School
Feb 19, 2013

Grittybeard posted:

I remember the Cowboys getting a lot of flack for taking Frederick too. If there were a redraft he'd go top 5 and maybe #2?

Hopkins probably goes one, then you've got Leveon Bell, Travis Kelce, and Frederick in some order. Then Sheldon Richardson if you trust him to not be a total idiot, or maybe Tyrann Matthieu if you trust him to not be hurt so much. Who am I missing from that draft who'd be arguable top 5?

Ziggy Ansah should have gone no later than second.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

We need a thread for the 2013 draft because woof, what a bunch of stinkers in that first round.

Here's the thread I made last year (obviously archives required) https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3760496

Durandal1707
Oct 11, 2013

Grittybeard posted:

I remember the Cowboys getting a lot of flack for taking Frederick too. If there were a redraft he'd go top 5 and maybe #2?

Yeah, a ton of people really dumped on the Cowboys at the trade for taking Frederick - IIRC he was considered a round 2 prospect (even though most end of round 1 guys are essentially R2 prospects anyway) and a lot of people weren't in love with his lack of agility. It just out that he was the mauler the Cowboys needed at C and the trade down to get him also netted Terrence Williams.

Also Keenan Allen probably would've been a 1st rounder on pure talent if he hadn't been injured when he tested. Problem was that he's always hurt, as it turned out.

Proud Christian Mom
Dec 20, 2006
READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Barkevious Mingo – total bust


Yeah but that name

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

love to draft the guy whose problem is "always injured" instead of "bust"

Darth Brooks
Jan 15, 2005

I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Just look at this 1st round.

Cordarrelle Patterson – one great year, then disappeared


Patterson has actually had a decent year. He went from being on the bench to shining on special teams (as a gunner!) and then got worked into the offense as he slowly crawled out of Zimmer's doghouse. BTW, Floyd has had a knee injury and was out last season.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
I really really like DJ Fluker. He plays really hard and never half-asses anything and is a really good teammate and is great in the community.

He's just not really good at football

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

Durandal1707 posted:

Yeah, a ton of people really dumped on the Cowboys at the trade for taking Frederick - IIRC he was considered a round 2 prospect (even though most end of round 1 guys are essentially R2 prospects anyway) and a lot of people weren't in love with his lack of agility. It just out that he was the mauler the Cowboys needed at C and the trade down to get him also netted Terrence Williams.

That criticism was real dumb even at the time. The entire idea that it's a "OMG REACH WTF LOL" to take what fake draft experts said was a 2nd rounder at the rear end end of the first is deeply stupid on its face.

Also agility drills and 40 times are relevant to center play exactly never.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

sean10mm posted:

Also agility drills and 40 times are relevant to center play exactly never.

In the critics' defense agility drills seem pretty useful when compared to other linemen, like you want these guys to be able to move and change direction in a way your average 300 lb dude cannot. Linemen pulling is a thing in every offense, and being stiff in the hips is generally bad.

10 second splits are probably good to know too, although I have no idea how Frederick did there.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Just look at this 1st round.

Eric Fisher – mediocre, overpaid
Luke Joeckel – bust
Dion Jordan – injuries, suspension, bust
Lane Johnson – good player
Ezekiel Ansah – good player
Barkevious Mingo – total bust
Jonathan Cooper – injuries/bust
Tavon Austin – semi bust, might be good if used properly
Dee Milliner – bust
Chance Warmack – bust
D.J. Fluker – flukey!
D.J. Hayden – inconsistent and injured
Sheldon Richardson – good player, horrible person
Star Lotulelei – good player
Kenny Vaccaro – inconsistent
EJ Manuel – total bust
Jarvis Jones – bust
Eric Reid – inconsistent
Justin Pugh – good player
Kyle Long – good player
Tyler Eifert – always injured
Desmond Trufant – very good player
Sharrif Floyd – good
Bjoern Werner – :lol:
Xavier Rhodes – good
Datone Jones – who the gently caress even is this?
DeAndre Hopkins – elite player
Sylvester Williams – semi bust
Cordarrelle Patterson – one great year, then disappeared
Alec Ogletree – good player
Travis Frederick – excellent
Matt Elam – bust

Hayden has consistently been trash.

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Just look at this 1st round.

Eric Fisher – mediocre, overpaid
Luke Joeckel – bust
Dion Jordan – injuries, suspension, bust
Lane Johnson – good player
Ezekiel Ansah – good player
Barkevious Mingo – total bust
Jonathan Cooper – injuries/bust
Tavon Austin – semi bust, might be good if used properly
Dee Milliner – bust
Chance Warmack – bust
D.J. Fluker – flukey!
D.J. Hayden – inconsistent and injured
Sheldon Richardson – good player, horrible person
Star Lotulelei – good player
Kenny Vaccaro – inconsistent
EJ Manuel – total bust
Jarvis Jones – bust
Eric Reid – inconsistent
Justin Pugh – good player
Kyle Long – good player
Tyler Eifert – always injured
Desmond Trufant – very good player
Sharrif Floyd – good
Bjoern Werner – :lol:
Xavier Rhodes – good
Datone Jones – who the gently caress even is this?
DeAndre Hopkins – elite player
Sylvester Williams – semi bust
Cordarrelle Patterson – one great year, then disappeared
Alec Ogletree – good player
Travis Frederick – excellent
Matt Elam – bust

I think mentioning the Bucs trading a first for a one year rental of a Revis coming off an ACL injury is worth noting. What a waste that was. With that said, they would have totally drafted someone terrible with that pick because Bucs gonna Buc.

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?
I'd love to see Tavon Austin on a team that uses him as an actual receiver, but that will never happen because the Rams paid him a mountain of money to get old and slow while running end arounds.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001
Probation
Can't post for 2 hours!

DariusLikewise posted:

I'd love to see Tavon Austin on a team that uses him as an actual receiver, but that will never happen because the Rams paid him a mountain of money to get old and slow while running end arounds.

Tavon Austin will definitely retire with the most horizontal yards in NFL history.

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

Kalli posted:

Tavon Austin will definitely retire with the most horizontal yards in NFL history.

4.3 40 yard dash and getting 9.1 yards per reception over his career, great use of talent right there.

Shangri-Law School
Feb 19, 2013

Volkerball posted:

2) Derek Carr A+

Rookie season was a tough one because the team was horrible. Had a horrible game against the Rams, but blew up against the 49ers, so it was really up and down. Second year was much improved and he really established himself as The Guy. It was pretty clear by the end of that year he was the best QB in the draft. Last season he finished as the NFL Clutch performer of the year as he led the league in 4th quarter comebacks and drug a young raiders team kicking and screaming to a 12-4 record and their first playoff berth in well over a decade. He also racked up a few MVP votes. He can make any throw, and he's not afraid to show it. Great leader, everyone loves him, and he's awesome. Quite probable he'll get an MVP award and a Super Bowl to his name before his career is done if he can stay healthy. You could easily make the argument that he's a better player than Andrew Luck, so he's an absolute steal in the 2nd.

Pretty impressive, considering that Stafford set the record for fourth-quarter comebacks in the same year!

weird Asian candy
Aug 23, 2005

Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.
Atlanta Falcons 2014 Draft aka the year we ALMOST got Khalil Mack :sad:

1. Jack Matthews - Franchise LT, who has had some downs but overall extremely solid. B+
2. Ra'Shede Hageman - Was looking like a bust, but really came on in the playoffs. Could be a monster, could be a ghost. Arrow is pointing up. C
3. Dez Southward - :lol: not in the league
4. Devonta Freeman - I love this man so so much. A+
4. Prince Shembo - Sucked the killed a dog. F
5. Ricardo Allen - For a 5th rounder, he has done well for himself. Not a world beater, not a bust. C
5. Marquis Spruill - Hard Knocks star, tore his ACL and never returned. F
7. Yawin Smallwood - Ummmm yea. F

Matthews, Hageman, Free and Allen made this a not so bad class but there were some awful misses.

No Irish Need Imply
Nov 30, 2008
Hard Knocks had no stars that year cuz it was very bad.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Hard Knocks should stick with the AFC.

weird Asian candy
Aug 23, 2005

Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.

No Irish Need Imply posted:

Hard Knocks had no stars that year cuz it was very bad.

It had Tyler Starr :smug:

Durandal1707
Oct 11, 2013

sean10mm posted:

That criticism was real dumb even at the time. The entire idea that it's a "OMG REACH WTF LOL" to take what fake draft experts said was a 2nd rounder at the rear end end of the first is deeply stupid on its face.

Also agility drills and 40 times are relevant to center play exactly never.

Plus Center was actually a huge position of need for Dallas anyway - neither Phil Costa or Ryan Cook worked out and Romo was getting killed by pressure up the middle during all of 2012. So you might as well pull the trigger on a guy if you think he's the best player at your pick, and doubly so if he fits a need.

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

all-Rush mixtape posted:

Hard Knocks should stick with the AFC.

They need to stop picking super boring teams.

The St Louis rams and falcons were about as exciting as a glass of luke warm water.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

BlindSite posted:

They need to stop picking super boring teams.

The St Louis rams and falcons were about as exciting as a glass of luke warm water.

I'm sad we'll never get a second Rex Ryan hard knocks. Sure he isn't that great of a coach but goddamn was that season entertaining.

D-LINK
Oct 1, 2007

I was talking to peachy Peach about kissy Kiss. He bought me a soda.

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Just look at this 1st round.

Eric Fisher – mediocre, overpaid
Luke Joeckel – bust
Dion Jordan – injuries, suspension, bust
Lane Johnson – good player
Ezekiel Ansah – good player
Barkevious Mingo – total bust
Jonathan Cooper – injuries/bust
Tavon Austin – semi bust, might be good if used properly
Dee Milliner – bust
Chance Warmack – bust
D.J. Fluker – flukey!
D.J. Hayden – inconsistent and injured
Sheldon Richardson – good player, horrible person
Star Lotulelei – good player
Kenny Vaccaro – inconsistent
EJ Manuel – total bust
Jarvis Jones – bust
Eric Reid – inconsistent
Justin Pugh – good player
Kyle Long – good player
Tyler Eifert – always injured
Desmond Trufant – very good player
Sharrif Floyd – good
Bjoern Werner – :lol:
Xavier Rhodes – good
Datone Jones – who the gently caress even is this?
DeAndre Hopkins – elite player
Sylvester Williams – semi bust
Cordarrelle Patterson – one great year, then disappeared
Alec Ogletree – good player
Travis Frederick – excellent
Matt Elam – bust

gently caress Jarvis Jones sucks, arghhhhhh

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
What happened to Jarvis Jones, anyway? I remember him being a consensus top-5 pick for a while, but it came out that he had spinal stenosis problems, but still worth gambling on in the first round on talent alone. Then he got to the NFL and has been mediocre at best, certainly not as good as the Draft Breakdown clips I saw from him beforehand.

SunshineDanceParty
Feb 7, 2006

One Road. Two Friends. One Ass.
I appreciated Hard Knocks last year for the Jeff Fisher line about no more 8-8 bullshit. It's a nice defining quote for his career.

I don't think anyone watched past the first episode but that was good.

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Benne posted:

What happened to Jarvis Jones, anyway? I remember him being a consensus top-5 pick for a while, but it came out that he had spinal stenosis problems, but still worth gambling on in the first round on talent alone. Then he got to the NFL and has been mediocre at best, certainly not as good as the Draft Breakdown clips I saw from him beforehand.

physical freak of nature hid the fact he was stupid.

getting drafted into one of the most complex LB schemes in the nfl kinda hurt his chances.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

all-Rush mixtape posted:

Hard Knocks should stick with the AFC.

The Texans were fairly boring too aside from Wilfork's custom overalls and CJIII's socks. I guess the whole "is there water in space" thing was endearing

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
He wasn't really a physical freak though was he? I remember his 40 being meh

D-LINK
Oct 1, 2007

I was talking to peachy Peach about kissy Kiss. He bought me a soda.

Benne posted:

What happened to Jarvis Jones, anyway? I remember him being a consensus top-5 pick for a while, but it came out that he had spinal stenosis problems, but still worth gambling on in the first round on talent alone. Then he got to the NFL and has been mediocre at best, certainly not as good as the Draft Breakdown clips I saw from him beforehand.

He sucks. He has one good game then disappears for weeks at a time. He's ok in coverage, ok at setting the edge, but cannot rush the passer to save his job

HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy
Jarvis Jones' big problem is he's a loving moron. He got by at Georgia solely based on being an athletic freak but you know, you can't fix stupid

fsif
Jul 18, 2003

Been three years and I'm STILL mixing up Jarvis Jones with Jarvis Landry.

The Big Jesus
Oct 29, 2007

#essereFerrari

fsif posted:

Been three years and I'm STILL mixing up Jarvis Jones with Jarvis Landry.

Same and also Landry Jones

TSBX
Apr 24, 2010
Round 1 (#4): Blake Bortles - QB - UCF

Coming off the heels of the Chad Henne experience, it was hoped that Blake would evolve into the franchise QB this team has lacked since Brunell really. As of yet that has not happened.

D+ (B if he can fix his poo poo)


Round 2 (# 39): Marqise Lee - WR - USC

Touted as an explosive guy with tremendous after the catch abilty, in his first two seasons he had tremendous ability to get injured, missing 9 games. He's come on strong with a healthy showing in 2016 while completing his first complete season.

C-


Round 2 (#61):
Allen Robinson - WR - Penn State

Arguably the best receiver to come out of this draft, Robinson burst onto the scene in 2015 to the tune of 14 touchdowns and 1400 yards with a whopping 17.5 avg. Lights out pick and in hindsight, I think he would go top 10 in the first round in a do-over. Had an off year in 2016, but so did the rest of the offense.

A-

Round 3 (#93):
Brandon Linder - OG - Miami (FL)

Linder quickly stood out as our best lineman in his first season, and barring an injury in 2015 that kept him out of 13 games, has maintained his production even during a position change to C.

B+

Round 4 (#114):
Aaron Colvin - CB - Oklahoma

The case for Aaron Colvin is an interesting one. He was supposed to be a really good corner who hurt his knee during the Senior Bowl which caused him to tumble on draft weekend. So far he's been mediocre at best, nothing really stands out about him in 2016, he's just a guy who hasn't come close to his ceiling (2015 stats included 73 tackles, 4 sacks, and 7 pass defenses.)

C-

Round 5 (#144): Telvin Smith - LB - FSU

Classic case of finding the gem in the rough, Smith has been one of the more productive tacklers since coming into the league. He's the kind of guy who is always around the ball, and a big reason why Myles Jack hasn't seen a ton of playing time.

A


Round 5 (#159):Chris Smith - DE - Arkansas

DL Depth, nothing special about him at all.

D

Round 6 (#205): Luke Bowanko - C - Virginia

After starting every game his rookie year (To be fair, the OL as a whole was more of a shitshow then than ever that year so starting didn't really mean a whole lot.) Bowanko has faded into the obscurity of being an OL depth guy.

D


Round 7 (#222): Storm Johnson - RB - UCF

Storm never really had a chance, he was slow to the hole, had bad vision and there was nothing exciting about him.

F

UDFA:
Allen Hurns - WR - Miami (FL)
The other half of the Allen Brothers. Much like Robinson, he hit the ground running (receiving?) in 2015 and added 10 scores to his 1031 yards and a 16.1 avg. This was sandwiched by a decent rookie season (677 yards/ 6 TD), and the 2016 let down in which he missed 5 games.

B

Overall, we got three above average to good recievers, a defensive stalwart, a reliable lineman, and a QB that CAN be great when he makes good decisions.

Overall grade: C-

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont

TSBX posted:


Round 2 (#61):[/b] Allen Robinson - WR - Penn State

Arguably the best receiver to come out of this draft,


lol no

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Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling
how can you say that in the draft that had Evans, OBJ, Landry

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