/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Why does she feel that her not shaving her pubes is the most offensive part of it? Wtf, this guy sounds insufferable. She should be embarrassed to be with him.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 21:58

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 01:26

Barudak: May 7, 2007

If by the third sentence of your story a reader has all the evidence they need for you to break up you probably dont need 1000 more words about how you are dating a 12 year old.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 21:58

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Pick posted:

I'm pale as hell and I thought that was bad??

After a certain point of relative opulence the en vogue thing is to pretend like you are a peasant laborer and do stuff like purposefully get a tan so it can go both ways really.

Just do what you want lol. I personally like pale more (but I'm a goon so there's that). It's healthier though as long as you get enough Vitamin E n poo poo. Radiation sucks.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Pretty sure there was a followup where the mom knew about it, as well, which is pretty bad as well!

Something different, title withheld:

man if someone dosed me with laxative I would not react well whatsoever

prolly poo a lot

(in rage of course)

Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 22:01 on Mar 2, 2017

# ? Mar 2, 2017 21:59

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Pretty sure there was a followup where the mom knew about it, as well, which is pretty bad as well!

Something different, title withheld:

What are the ages? right now i'm guessing mid-20s.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:01

chumbler: Mar 28, 2010

Sunlight is for vitamin D I thought. And a bit of a tan is good for smoothing skin tone, so I don't think a modern preference for that is likely to ever really go away.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:03

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Pretty sure there was a followup where the mom knew about it, as well, which is pretty bad as well!

Something different, title withheld:

holy poo poo

i appreciate these ones where the OP is like 'ok, so he gave my dad a heart attack, interesting, let's see how deep this rabbit hole goes' so, so much. their sacrifice for all our entertainment will not go unremembered.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:03

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

This one isn't particularly interesting, but based on the area code in the username, the ages and the situation I think I know the people in it
Me [20F] with my S/O [20M] of over 1 year, are we too incompatible? He gets so crabby when I want to do anything with him.

quote:

Hey guys! Throwaway because I didn't want this on my main account. Sorry this got so long.
John and I were good friends for about 10 months before we got together. We got together pretty shortly after ex-boyfriend Bill and I broke up. I think he helped me recover from that relationship and he's really restored my confidence in relationships. I love him!
My ex-boyfriend, Bill, that I was with before John wasn't the greatest. We were long distance for 2 1/2 years and he was super shady. "Hanging out" with other girls all the time, basically dating other girls while fooling me into thinking it was innocent (looong story), and more. I should've ended it much, much sooner. I was very insecure in that relationship which is very out of character for me.
Bill is European, not very handy, hardcore gamer, flamboyant, goofy, flirty, outgoing, exotic, had big dreams but zero motivation, unrealistic goals, unreliable, lazy, and a party boy.
John is the opposite of Bill in almost every way. Which is why I think I wanted to get together with him in the first place. He's exactly what I needed coming out of that relationship with Bill.
He's steady, reliable, quiet, very hard worker, comes from a farming family, more serious than silly, going into a trade, doesn't drink or party (which is fine because I don't either), and he's just a very realistic person.
I am creative, clumsy, silly (sometimes to a fault), ambitious, motivated, dress nicely, don't take myself too seriously, get some serious ADD sometimes, and currently work in production in the entertainment industry in a big city.
Basically, John and I are very different people, and that's always been great. He keeps me grounded, I encourage him to loosen up and have some fun.
However, lately, I've been getting very frustrated. He always wants to be around me and we often hang out at our houses or my family's horse stable. He is great in these situations. But he'll get annoyed with me when I want to go out and go to things with him like fairs, festivals, expos, events for my job, and other things like that. I don't want to do those things very often, but when I do, I want to share the experience with him. Eventually he'll agree to go, but then when he is there he is crabby, won't talk to anyone, doesn't want to walk around or see things, and just won't even humor me when I actively ask him questions on what he'd like to do or see, even when I offer to buy him food or something while we are there. I try really hard for about 15-20 minutes to get him into it and having fun, but eventually I feel so sad and discouraged that I say, "ok, fine, then let's just go home."
At that point he suddenly feels bad and wants to do all the things, but he's made me feel so sad that I lose all my enthusiasm and really don't want to try anymore.
I would chalk it up to him just having a bad day, but this has happened multiple times, specifically at work events and my coworkers will notice and mention his attitude to me later, which embarrasses me and makes me so very, very sad that our relationship comes off poorly because of his attitude in these situations.
In contrast, ex-boyfriend Bill was always thinking of new things for us to try and go to, and we matched each others enthusiasm 110%. I feel like I have all this energy and enthusiasm that just hits a brick wall when I try to go anywhere with John. This is the largest reason why I even mention Bill - because I look at a past relationship where we were more similar/compatible, and now at my relationship with John, and wonder which way I am better off: being very similar or being very different when compared to my partner.
Basically, aside from this issue, our relationship is great. But I feel so awful when this happens, that it is making me doubt whether we are just too incompatible. I want this to work with him. At least, that's what I think I want. I just want him to be happy and I want myself to be happy. I want us to be happy together.
Any advice or thoughts are very welcome.
tl;dr My boyfriend and I are different people but have fun when we're hanging out. When I want to try new things or go anywhere, he turns into a crabby butthead. Thought our differing personalities made us work well together, but now I worry we are too incompatible. Looking for advice and thoughts.

I see now why people use throwaways, so goons a year later don't find you.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:08

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Nazzadan posted:

This one isn't particularly interesting, but based on the area code in the username, the ages and the situation I think I know the people in it
Me [20F] with my S/O [20M] of over 1 year, are we too incompatible? He gets so crabby when I want to do anything with him.

I see now why people use throwaways, so goons a year later don't find you.

You just willingly admitted to knowing and possibly associating with horse people. :murder:

time

Unless you can prove it was for thread research purposes only, we're going to put you on trial.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:09

Nessa: Dec 15, 2008

Leon Einstein posted:

Why does she feel that her not shaving her pubes is the most offensive part of it? Wtf, this guy sounds insufferable. She should be embarrassed to be with him.

Yeah, if you think that your friends will make fun of you for the state of your pubic hair, I think you're too used to being around 12 year olds.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:11

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

MF_James posted:

You just willingly admitted to knowing and possibly associating with horse people. time

Unless you can prove it was for thread research purposes only, we're going to put you on trial.

I live in a cowboy town, it's not my fault!

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:13

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Nazzadan posted:

I live in a cowboy town, it's not my fault!

The facts are already stacking up against you, better hire yourself a good horselawyer.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:14

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

I've been advised by my horselawyer to say no more, you can contact Stuart Horseman here with any questions http://www.equinelegalsolutions.com/attorney-directory.html
He works for a peppermint a day, and a saltlick if I win the case.

Fun sidefact, I found out from my horsegirl girlfriend yesterday she has licked a saltlick. Is this a red flag?

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:17

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Nazzadan posted:

I've been advised by my horselawyer to say no more, you can contact Stuart Horseman here with any questions http://www.equinelegalsolutions.com/attorney-directory.html
He works for a peppermint a day, and a saltlick if I win the case.

Fun sidefact, I found out from my horsegirl girlfriend yesterday she has licked a saltlick. Is this a red flag?

Did the horse lick it first?

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:18

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Nazzadan posted:

I've been advised by my horselawyer to say no more, you can contact Stuart Horseman here with any questions http://www.equinelegalsolutions.com/attorney-directory.html
He works for a peppermint a day, and a saltlick if I win the case.

Fun sidefact, I found out from my horsegirl girlfriend yesterday she has licked a saltlick. Is this a red flag?

How glossy is her coat? Is her gait light or heavy? How many hands is she? We need more information before putting on the blinders of judgement.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:19

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Licking a salt lick is not weird. They have that pink Himalayan rock salt at horse equipment places too, and always have. lol that people at whole foods pay a shitzillion dollars/lb for it.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:21

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

MF_James posted:

Did the horse lick it first?

I probably should have asked this.

Barudak posted:

How glossy is her coat? Is her gait light or heavy? How many hands is she? We need more information before putting on the blinders of judgement.

She's one of those miniature horses

Content to deflect off of my literal horse gf
I (21/f) have pretty much decided that I need to breakup with my immature boyfriend (22/m) of 2+ years. Would like to hear other's thoughts on my situation. I keep justifying staying with him, but I think I just need to end it.

quote:

We have quite a few issues. The main problem I have with him is that most of the time (like 9 out of 10) he flat out refuses to communicate and come to a resolution when there's a problem. He doesn't even like to acknowledge that there is a problem. He has said these exact words before - "I don't care about your feelings", "If I don't see a problem, there isn't a problem". Yeah... I know, I need to just get out. But I keep trying so hard for this to work. We are such great friends, better than we are lovers, and I keep thinking we'll be okay because of that.
He had an emotional affair last year. I broke up with him, but we got back together a few weeks later because I thought he stopped talking to the other girl. He hadn't, and didn't stop talking to her until we had been back together for 2 months. He has not spoken to her since, he just ignores her repeated attempts to contact him and won't tell her why. This has been going on for 6 months. I've just been happy that he ignores her, but now I'm realizing what an icky feeling it gives me that he is still unwilling to tell her why.
Since I took him back I've thought about breaking up with him a lot. Now it's almost daily. I've planned how I would break up with him, but I always put it off. This week he is on vacation and I've had a lot of time to think. I think I have come to the realization that people in healthy relationships don't think about breaking up so much... but I still don't want to do it.
Friday night pushed me to the point of where I actually might do it though. We were horse playing and apparently he didn't like it, but instead of telling me to stop (I was trying to jump on his back - he used to carry me around on his shoulders all the time. It was adorable... trying to bring back some of that), he manhandled me and kind of shoved me. He knows that I hate it when he handles me so roughly, I've told him several times. So now I just defend myself physically. I kicked his shins. I know it hurt because I was wearing big boots. And of course, I felt awful for hurting him, so I started crying. I had already had a rough day, and that pushed me over the edge. I had been crying for less than two minutes when he just started SCREAMING at me. He always tells me I'm a baby when I cry. The only time I wasn't being a baby was when my dog got hurt. It's like, unless he completely understands what I'm feeling, my feelings are not okay. I realized - this is not the kind of person I want to be with. We tried to talk about what happened, but as usual, he just spent the entire discussion convincing me that he was right and I was wrong. He kept asking me why I couldn't just be a normal person and stop being bitter over how he cheated on me. It always comes back around to that. A normal person would be bitter, damnit. He also said that if he did it again I would deserve it because I hadn't gotten over the first time. Wow. Writing that out... fuckkkkk.
So- I think I can see clearly now that all of our other issues aside, we both deserve better. I need to break up with him so that hopefully he can grow the gently caress up, and even if he's an rear end in a top hat, he should be with someone that isn't bitter towards him (ha, good luck with that, buddy). And I deserve to be with someone that loves me so much they would never let things go as far as he did with his "friend".
Guess i need to add that his mom is a classic narcissist. She is extremely lovely to him and I feel terrible for him. This is a big part of why I've delayed our breakup so many times. I feel bad for him. I think that if he would just move out he might get over his emotional problems that she is mostly responsible for (yeah. He won't move out and it's not even up for discussion even though he could easily afford it). I have a hard time accept the fact that he is just an rear end in a top hat to me. I want to blame his Mom.
I have written this out so many times, but I always end up deleting it. This time I'm going to post because while I know I need to break up with him... I am too attached to him and need support in actually doing it. Gosh, this is sad.
TL;DR- Boyfriend had an emotional affair last year. I'm not over it. He's an rear end in a top hat. I just need to leave but I'm weak and need people to talk to about it.

Another one where you don't even need to read the body. You mentioned dumping him twice in the title alone, break it off and move on.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:23

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Sisal Two-Step posted:

What are the ages? right now i'm guessing mid-20s.

23F and 28M, so correct

Moridin920 posted:

man if someone dosed me with laxative I would not react well whatsoever

Yeah laxatives was what I searched to find that one, unfortunately most of the rest were :smith:

stuff about eating disorders.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:24

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

pantsing story

This is another classic "someone just keeps making the worst choice/possessed by an idiot ghost" story, except that I think the boyfriend may just be the idiot ghost. The concept that this man is 28 is unendingly depressing.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:30

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Antivehicular posted:

This is another classic "someone just keeps making the worst choice/possessed by an idiot ghost" story, except that I think the boyfriend may just be the idiot ghost. The concept that this man is 28 is unendingly depressing.

He may need to be put down

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:42

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Leon Einstein posted:

Why does she feel that her not shaving her pubes is the most offensive part of it? Wtf, this guy sounds insufferable. She should be embarrassed to be with him.

porno fucks up people's expectations of sex and body image

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:43

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Sociopath prankster

Jfc make sure to read this one

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:45

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

"I don't care about your feelings", "If I don't see a problem, there isn't a problem"

lol

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:45

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

quote:

I (21/f) have pretty much decided that I need to breakup with my immature boyfriend (22/m) of 2+ years. Would like to hear other's thoughts on my situation. I keep justifying staying with him, but I think I just need to end it.

So- I think I can see clearly now that all of our other issues aside, we both deserve better.

uhh I don't think he deserves anyone at all

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:45

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Girl whose sister slept with her boyfriend needs to cut her sister, and apparently her mom forever. I feel bad for the sister and her obvious mental health issues but everything is going to always be about the sister. She will make it about her and has already, and she'll continue to interfere in her sisters life until someone helps her get the help she needs. It'd be the healthiest thing for both of them.

# ? Mar 2, 2017 22:57

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Clearly the solution is to turn her sister gay personally so mom knows

# ? Mar 2, 2017 23:53

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

ArbitraryC posted:

"I don't care about your feelings", "If I don't see a problem, there isn't a problem"

lol

*after screaming at her for crying*
"Why are you still bitter about when I cheated on you?"

Lol :murder:

# ? Mar 3, 2017 00:13

Axolotl: Jan 23, 2002; Whatever

Antivehicular posted:

This is another classic "someone just keeps making the worst choice/possessed by an idiot ghost" story, except that I think the boyfriend may just be the idiot ghost. The concept that this man is 28 is unendingly depressing.

Prank that fucker to death with a tire iron.

# ? Mar 3, 2017 01:07

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

quote:

Should I (14F) tell my parents what my brother (5M) did or would I get in trouble?

Hi I'm posting at lunch at school because I have to make a decision. I need some advice about if I should tell my parents what my little brother did last night. I was babysitting him because they had a meeting and i had to make dinner. I didn't know what to make, I was not in the mood to cook. I was complaining and said I'd make something in a bit. I went to find my phone. When I came back downstairs into the kitchen I saw my brother, up on a chair infront of the oven and he asked me how to turn it on. I told him to get down because he's not allowed to use the oven or stove but i heard something in there and looked in and our cat was in there. He said he was going to surprise me by helping cook dinner.

I'm still freaked out and don't know if i should tell my parents, if they don't trust me to babysit or thought it was my fault for not watching him the whole time, i could get in trouble. Do you think they would be mad at me? I could have stopped it if I hadn't left the room. so I don't know what to do : /

tl;dr My brother did something creepy because I left him alone for a few minutes and idk if my parents will blame me PS I told my best friend and she said to tell because it's messed up and he should get in trouble, do you agree?

"Help reddit, I'm 14 and more concerned about getting in trouble than in making sure the cat doesn't get cooked when no one's looking."

quote:

Boyfriend (30m) dislikes 2 of my closest friends and mentors (45m & 40f), they dislike him, and I (26f) can't choose either "side" anymore.

I work with a very close-knit team at work. We have tons of overtime, sometimes weekend work, and it is a very high pressure, stressful job at times. We have to rely on each other for not just work, but also the emotional stresses that come with it. There are 5 of us in the team and we are all on good terms, but I am very, very close with 2 of them, I'll call them Chris (45m) and Kate (40f). I've seen them outside of work for drinks and dinner and met with Chris's family.

I consider Kate one of the greatest role models and a leader in this field. There are more males in this industry than females and I really look up to her and trust her judgment for almost everything related to this job. And Chris has always been a mentor and role model for me also, extremely knowledgeable, experienced and seasoned. I realize I must sound like I idolize them or something, but in terms of my career, I really do look up to them a lot. That being said, I think they have taken a liking to me also, look out for me a lot, guide me at work, and we know about each other's personal lives as well (not everything, but just some things.)

I started dating my boyfriend Jesse (30m) 6 months ago and my friendship with Chris and Kate really bother him. It started when we had a kind of heated argument one day in the parking lot of my office at night and Chris saw this and broke up the fight. He looked very badly on Jesse and warned me he doesn't like how he treats me and he is not a good boyfriend for me. Jesse told me he didn't like Chris because he doesn't understand why I have a friendship with an older, married person from work. I tried to explain to him that I don't consider him romantically at all whatsoever- he is truly just a mentor to me. Jesse doesn't trust that and has told me so.

A few times I have confided in Kate about small fights that Jesse and I have had and she also thinks he is not great... in retrospect, I realize I shouldn't have told her these things in the heat of the moment. I was just really angry at those times and only said bad things about him. Nevertheless, she doesn't like him.

I feel like I have to make a choice now- I can't even bring him around to company events because Chris and Jesse make it so obvious that they dislike each other, and I have to act like everything's fine when things are very uncomfortable, and I can't talk to Jesse about work things since it always involves either Chris or Kate and he doesn't want to hear it, but work is very important to me and I can't discuss this with him.

What is right here? It's not that I want to break up with Jesse, and I'm not going to ruin my friendships with my 2 mentors for my boyfriend's sake. How do I navigate this gracefully? Any advice?

TLDR: I have two people I look up to at work but both of them hate my current boyfriend. My boyfriend hates them both. I can't bear to give up either relationships. So what do I do?

Along with a telling comment:

quote:

I guess I am also starting to look at my relationships with Chris and Kate because Jesse has said I am "obsessed" with them and I look to Chris like a father figure, in particular. It's made me feel insecure about everything. I really look up to them, but maybe that's wrong? I do trust Chris's judgment in everything so maybe I do think of him somewhat like a father, and maybe that's wrong? I know they aren't infallible, they do have their quirks and weaknesses, but I tend to see their best sides, which is at work.

I guess lots of self-doubt in this as well.

As for Jesse, he doesn't think men and women can really be friends, so he doesn't have female friends, let alone older ones, and he can't understand why I would need an older male friend. I guess I don't really NEED one but I just trust him a lot... isn't that enough?

"Don't date people who think men and women can never be platonic friends" needs to be taught in schools, imo.

# ? Mar 3, 2017 01:53

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Haifisch posted:

"Don't date people who think men and women can never be platonic friends" needs to be taught in schools, imo.

"don't date goons" is more succinct

# ? Mar 3, 2017 02:05

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

Pick posted:

"don't date goons" is more succinct

Terrible advice. GLITBL.

# ? Mar 3, 2017 02:11

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Just dont even date.

Get a dartboard out with names on it, fling the dart, marry the person whose name it lands on. Do not let petty things like gender or marital status get in the way of your true love.

# ? Mar 3, 2017 02:12

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Don't date women who don't have girl friends is a really good one. I forget if it was in this thread and I let the post slip by without quoting.

# ? Mar 3, 2017 02:15

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Elsa posted:

Don't date women who don't have girl friends is a really good one. I forget if it was in this thread and I let the post slip by without quoting.

I've said it before but it's pretty common wisdom.

# ? Mar 3, 2017 02:19

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Barudak posted:

Just dont even date.

Get a dartboard out with names on it, fling the dart, marry the person whose name it lands on. Do not let petty things like gender or marital status get in the way of your true love.

mine landed on "barudak", time to buy me a :horse:

# ? Mar 3, 2017 02:19

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

DON'T gently caress THE HORSES EITHER GODDAMMIT

I found the protogoon:

Platonic relationship, how do I give her a platonic shoulder rub?

quote:

u/cp51846y
I dunno if this is creepy, but I'm feeling disconnected. I don't have a relationship. I feel like I really need a physical connection with someone else. Yea it's selfish. Is there a way to give a platonic friend a platonic shoulder rub? Is it a good idea? How do I go about it? Any good resources on how to give shoulder rubs?

Thanks

Is that what the inside of a :spergin:

brain sounds like?

# ? Mar 3, 2017 02:24

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

I feel like it's less :spergin:

, and more 'it's not actually platonic from my end, but I feel less creepy about my shoulder-rub plan if I keep saying it is.'

# ? Mar 3, 2017 02:32

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

I had a girl give me a backrub and then I woke up after a new years party to her mouth on my dick. You need to be gay to pull off the platonic angle.

# ? Mar 3, 2017 02:34

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Elsa posted:

I had a girl give me a backrub and then I woke up after a new years party to her mouth on my dick. You need to be gay to pull off the platonic angle.

Originally read that as "...woke up after a new years party to her dick in my mouth."

# ? Mar 3, 2017 02:43

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Elsa posted:

I had a girl give me a backrub and then I woke up after a new years party to her mouth on my dick. You need to be gay to pull off the platonic angle.

It was just a prank, bro

# ? Mar 3, 2017 02:45

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 01:26

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Drunk Nerds posted:

It was just a prank, bro

Also there have got to be some choice comments on the sociopath boyfriend and doormat gf one. Was he really 28, because I feel like that got reported incorrectly because some lines got crossed itt

# ? Mar 3, 2017 02:46

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »