/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

I dunno, I think she has been clear about it and even arranged for him to sit in on a rehearsal to assuage his insecurities. He knew she was one of those "theater people" from the get go and that something like this was a possibility. The fact that it occurs in front of like 50 people means it is LESS likely to be just them boning each other, not more. He should have known what he was signing up for.

It sounds like the play is really important to her. In my experience if you make your girlfriend miss out on things that are super important to her because you are jealous and possessive it spells trouble for your relationship. If you can't trust your partner, the relationship is already dead, either because you don't repect them enough that you think they will do the right thing or because they have given you reason not to.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 20:33

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 13:41

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

The edits at the end just please me on a deep level. I think it's a rule of three thing.

My (33f) fiance/husband (30m) married 3 weeks, together ~2.5 yrs. He went to an Asian massage place. I found the receipt in his pants. Bonus: prescription drug issues.

quote:

u/juliejetson217d
Very few people know we're married, so that's why the fiance/husband part. He's from another country, in the US on a work visa. We're both successful in our respective careers. We bought a house together last year. We've been together almost 2.5 years. He proposed in April, just after my birthday. It's a gorgeous ring, exactly like we had been talking about. We started planning the wedding for October. I bought my dress. We made all of the arrangements. We had engagement photos taken and ordered photo books for our parents.

And then, this morning, I thought to start some laundry and found a receipt in his pocket for a massage place. From last night. When he told me he was having a beer with the friend who is officiating our wedding. I Google the massage place, and sure enough, Backpage.com and ratings for "hot Asian" services ensue.

I wait for him to get out of the bathroom and tell him we need to talk. Commence two hours of wtf-ing, him deflecting to every issue in the relationship that I thought we had dealt with in the past, and performing intense dentistry to get him to tell me the whole truth. He finally admits that he's been to this place 3 times. I don't believe him. I think it's more. He tries to say he only got a happy ending once. I don't believe him. I think it's more. And then I remember that he's been making several ATM withdrawals lately, for hundreds at a time. I ask him wtf that's about. He has a hookup who has been selling him Vicodin that he takes when he's stressed.

I know he's been unhappy at his job, but he has a job offer on the table with a great company that was going to pay for his green card. It seemed like greener pastures were just a matter of weeks away. We got legally married a few weeks ago to start the immigration process.

What. The. gently caress.

I went to my therapist (she's a saint who came in on a Saturday to see my crying mess of a face) and she said it's on me to decide whether this is salvageable. And if I want to try, it's going to be years of intensive therapy. Until this morning, I thought he was the sweetest, most thoughtful, most understanding person I've been with. My parents have both been through multiple marriages and divorces and I waited a long time to make the decision to get married, only to have this happen. Do I leave him? Do I report his drug use to immigration and get him deported?

Some history, his father has a history of infidelity. His mother used to pack him in the car as a kid and go out to "catch" his father leaving brothels.

tl;dr: I've paid a lot of money and spent a lot of time planning a wedding with a guy who has been going to Asian massage places for "services" and has been taking pills behind my back while here on a work visa and with a green card pending.

EDIT: This morning he texted me to admit that he made up the drug issue. He doesn't have a problem with hydrocodone. Instead, he has a sex addiction and has gotten over 15 "massages." Allegedly.

EDIT: Just admitted to me hes had more than 30 happy ending massages. And saw a dominatrix in February. We're done. Got logins to his bank info and saved all incriminating statements for lawyer tomorrow.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 20:35

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

FabioClone posted:

Lol that all her friends and family were talking poo poo about him to his face thinking he didn't understand.

When my French was better, it was a real treat hanging out with my French colleagues, unaware as they were.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 20:40

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

therobit posted:

I dunno, I think she has been clear about it and even arranged for him to sit in on a rehearsal to assuage his insecurities. He knew she was one of those "theater people" from the get go and that something like this was a possibility. The fact that it occurs in front of like 50 people means it is LESS likely to be just them boning each other, not more. He should have known what he was signing up for.

It sounds like the play is really important to her. In my experience if you make your girlfriend miss out on things that are super important to her because you are jealous and possessive it spells trouble for your relationship. If you can't trust your partner, the relationship is already dead, either because you don't repect them enough that you think they will do the right thing or because they have given you reason not to.

if the things that are super important to her are 'naked dryhumping hot coworkers', and she thinks you've got some kind of problem for feeling uncomfortable with that, she should drop the psuedointellectual pose and just join a poly clusterfuck

Themata posted:

Decided to explore what my heritage would bring out in r/relationships:

this is a fun game

quote:

I grew up in a small town in south Georgia. I absolutely hate it. After getting out of college a year ago I moved closer to Atlanta. My mom and dad divorced when I was 8 and he moved back to the town where he grew up where he met my step mom. My dad convinced my mom that since his was a two parent household and he had a steady job that they could take care of my brother and I better. So, they took us (Mom stayed close through high school) and moved us into the country where we barely saw anyone other than family outside of school and church (one of the reasons I am very much an atheist). My relationship with my dad and step mom is complicated due to several factors, but I try to keep them in my life.

My step mom's family is pretty hosed. She told us her father would beat them every day, saying they probably deserved it for something. Her youngest brother is pretty much the most disgusting person I know. He is the definition of white trash. He's over 400 lbs, lives on welfare, never graduated from high school, and has three sons, all with criminal records who also all quit high school.

During the summer my step mom would often send us to stay with them during the day. He'd basically make fun of us and curse us out the entire time while he mostly sat in his chair and watched soap operas. He'd call me a human being and once said I probably have sex with my stuffed animals. Keep in mind I'm like 9 years old. I hated going there. You could sometimes get along with their kids, but they'd take any chance they could to sell you out or steal something from you.

They had this really lovely house way out in the country that they kept this huge pile of trash next to and a yard full of broken glass, old cars, old boards and nails. He always had animals around that were starving and if one of them got too close to the screen door he'd shoot them with a BB gun... usually THROUGH the screen door.

Eventually this piece of poo poo and his family are kicked out of where they were staying. With no job or references they have nowhere to go. So my step mom convinces my dad to let them stay on our land for what was originally supposed to be a temporary thing. Fifteen years later they're still here. As soon as they moved in they had a trash pile behind their trailer that my Dad made them get rid of. There are always old cars in the yard. They fill the place with confederate flags and No Trespassing signs. There are all kinds of tin shacks set up everywhere. Also, people involved with his sons started coming over and getting into fights.

Since they moved in we've had things go missing (they'll steal anything tin and sell it for scrap metal), they've been caught siphoning gas from my dad and step mom's cars, and even hosed with the well pump we get our water from and they share, trying to modify it somehow. These fuckers pour used motor oil out on the ground.

Here's the problem. They own none of this. But they think they're entitled to stay there. He has diabetes and recently came close to dying. The kids who aren't in jail were immediately fighting over who gets to move into his trailer. He survived, though, and things settled down. Now one of his sons has set up a camper in his yard and moved his family in (he was divorced and had five kids by different moms when he was 18-- seriously). He hasn't got much longer and this poo poo is going to come up.

My dad hates that they're there, but he won't do anything about it. Even my step mom is getting pissed off with them. My brother and I have talked about it and know that eventually it'll probably come down to us. If we ever get an inheritance this will come with it.Even if they were kicked out it wouldn't be the last we'd hear of them. They'd probably come back and vandalize things. Getting the cops involved wouldn't solve anything, because they have no respect for the law, plus the Sheriff is his cousin. It might get even worse. His sons are all involved with drugs and gangs, and they claimed to have killed people in gang related stuff. I never knew whether to believe it or not.

This is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off as soon as the old man dies. What the gently caress can we do, Reddit?

# ? Mar 4, 2017 20:43

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

The Korean one is funny holy poo poo. Then even the dad speaks fluently haha

bitch. and her parents

# ? Mar 4, 2017 20:45

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Bubblyblubber posted:

The edits at the end just please me on a deep level. I think it's a rule of three thing.

My (33f) fiance/husband (30m) married 3 weeks, together ~2.5 yrs. He went to an Asian massage place. I found the receipt in his pants. Bonus: prescription drug issues.

Just buying a house with someone I've only known for a year. I'm a walking red flag but SO is constructed of red flags.

Elsa posted:

The Korean one is funny holy poo poo. Then even the dad speaks fluently haha

bitch. and her parents

It's common to be critical of others in their face if you speak a language they presumably don't. Speaking Korean in the US is like speaking a made-up code language. No one understands what you're saying. Heck, I live in an area where loads of people are portuguese and people still do that poo poo in portuguese in public all the time. To the point where I have a literal strategy for dealing with them. Just smile like I can't understand, try not to laugh, and then say some poo poo in portuguese right before I'm about to leave and look at the expression on their face. They usually look shocked or laugh a little.

Khorne fucked around with this message at 20:54 on Mar 4, 2017

# ? Mar 4, 2017 20:47

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Elsa posted:

The Korean one is funny holy poo poo. Then even the dad speaks fluently haha

bitch. and her parents

she also didn't bother to learn, like, anything at all about dude's life, for three years. He lived in Korea for 12 years. 12 years!

i really love the ones where there's this never explicit but always present subtext of "the OP is a huge piece of poo poo"

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 20:53 on Mar 4, 2017

# ? Mar 4, 2017 20:47

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

this is a fun game

I'm genuinely curious as to whether you used "Georgia" or "white trash".

# ? Mar 4, 2017 20:55

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Hi I'm half Korean and lived in Korea for five years. To whites I appear asian and to asians I appear white.

In my mind I'm also white and when I see my reflection in the mirror I'm sometimes surprised at how asian I am.

Anyway this used to be a source of amusement in school when I'd be alone with a bunch of Koreans and hear very personal stories or little nuggets like, "that's the one so-and-so likes" while talking about me.

You really can't excuse people for talking bad about people at their dinner table just because they do it in another language. My parents wouldn't do it and to imagine a family that does I would have to interpret that as just plain rudeness.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 20:57

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

I'm pretty sure the OP was looking for people to say he was in the wrong for not revealing his fluency. And that it's not an issue of the family which would bother me if I was in his situation.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 20:59

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

chumbler posted:

On the basis of "theater people", she is 100% fuckin the other dude.

Was briefly a theater people, can confirm.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 21:21

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Subjunctive posted:

I'm genuinely curious as to whether you used "Georgia" or "white trash".

got no family in Georgia

My [29F] inlaws tried to shoot a woodchuck at a party and it started WW3 between my husband [27M] and I and them

quote:

My husband and I have been married for 4y, together for 7y.

My in laws had a party a couple of months ago and my MIL invited her Petco coworkers (assumed animal lovers) and the family. My SIL and her husband and children couldn't make it but my husband and I went.

At the party, a woodchuck appeared and my FIL ran inside to get their shotgun to shoot it (apparently he was eating their garden). Being animal lovers, my husband whistled to try to scare the woodchuck off, and my MIL immediately covered his mouth from behind so he couldn't make any more noise. FIL aimed at the woodchuck and was about to fire when my husband broke free and yelled at them that they better not shoot the animal in front of everyone.

They were upset that the woodchuck got away and my husband was visibly upset about the entire altercation, but it seemed to pass within half an hour.

The next day my MIL starts texting my husband saying that he was out of line and he embarrassed her - generally making him feel like a POS for standing up for a defenseless animal (something I think it pretty respectable in a person). She wouldn't talk to him for a while and this weighed heavily on his mind, he couldn't sleep, etc. I texted her to ask that she please not be mad at him - he was only standing up for the woodchuck because he knew it would upset me to see an animal get shot. No response from her.

Family members on their side started de friending me on Facebook and I wasn't entirely sure why although I had suspicions. Nobody defriended my husband.

Weeks later a friend tells me that my SIL (who mind you, WAS NOT AT THE PARTY) was telling everyone that I was being rude and nasty to their parents, that she couldn't believe I would talk to them that way, and I'm a bitch. Keep in mind, the only thing I said to them that day was to my FIL I said "you wouldn't feel bad if you shot that little guy? I bet you would" he rescues orphaned raccoons so I figured it would make the connection. I'm NOT a fan of confrontation so I said nothing more. I didn't need to - my husband diffused the situation completely.

I don't even know what to do but the whole family is against me now and it's insane. They're having a cookout today and we will be attending, and I'm nervous that everyone's going to attack me. How do I handle/resolve this situation?

# ? Mar 4, 2017 21:27

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Pvt.Scott posted:

Was briefly a theater people, can confirm.

chumbler posted:

On the basis of "theater people", she is 100% fuckin the other dude.

Both of you stop. At worst they hosed before the boyfriend and if he continues being a baby back bitch they will. But they probably aren't at the time.

-also former theater people.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 21:29

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

He needs to take that pornstar home and put a baby in it

# ? Mar 4, 2017 21:31

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Elsa posted:

He needs to take that pornstar home and put a baby in it

I'm really looking forward to the sequel, I [25/F] am pregnant with my coworker's [23/m] baby[-5mo/F] and want to keep it, why won't my boyfriend [28/m] understand this is performance art?

# ? Mar 4, 2017 21:45

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I'm really looking forward to the sequel, I [25/F] am pregnant with my coworker's [23/m] baby[-5mo/F] and want to keep it, why won't my boyfriend [28/m] understand this is performance art?

Actually if they were fully naked I would have a slight thought about another man's dick skin touching her vagina but I would dig deep and rationalize it as taking her home and proving the superior man or some poo poo.

Girlfriend naked and acting out sex on stage in front of an audience, that is some exciting poo poo

# ? Mar 4, 2017 21:56

PleasingFungus: Oct 10, 2012; idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off

FabioClone posted:

Lol that all her friends and family were talking poo poo about him to his face thinking he didn't understand. And I guess she didn't say or do anything about it? What the hell.

she says that she "tried [her] best to stick up for him", and that "I think I didn't make it as clear as I should in my original post but after I defended him they cut back significantly." for what it's worth!

# ? Mar 4, 2017 21:59

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

PleasingFungus posted:

she says that she "tried [her] best to stick up for him", and that "I think I didn't make it as clear as I should in my original post but after I defended him they cut back significantly." for what it's worth!

It would be a very different post if she was asking for help what to do after finding out her boyfriend understood everything said about him by her family. The topic was definitely not that.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 22:25

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Curious how he'll handle finding out the afterparty of each show is a wagon wheel of all the stage crew banging the lead as she pivots on an ottoman.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 22:28

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Elsa posted:

Both of you stop. At worst they hosed before the boyfriend and if he continues being a baby back bitch they will. But they probably aren't at the time.

-also former theater people.

Wasn't entirely serious. It's called "acting."

# ? Mar 4, 2017 23:18

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Theater people never not performing, often on each other.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 23:53

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

Theater people were the worst in high school, the worst in college, and somehow managed to be even worse after that.

# ? Mar 4, 2017 23:58

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Bubblyblubber posted:

The edits at the end just please me on a deep level. I think it's a rule of three thing.

My (33f) fiance/husband (30m) married 3 weeks, together ~2.5 yrs. He went to an Asian massage place. I found the receipt in his pants. Bonus: prescription drug issues.

Wait wait wait. He's not from the US, there on a work visa and they bought a house? What a fuckin idiot

# ? Mar 5, 2017 00:09

Bamabalacha: Sep 18, 2006; Outta my way, ya dumb rah-rah!

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

Theater people were the worst in high school, the worst in college, and somehow managed to be even worse after that.

This is true, and I say this as a chick who used to be a theatre person and whose parents have been theatre people for over 45 years.

Also, no one fucks as much as a straight dude in theatre, NO ONE.

edit: and if the dude she's doing the scene with is straight I'm putting 50/50 odds of them at least making out at a cast party.

Bamabalacha fucked around with this message at 00:28 on Mar 5, 2017

# ? Mar 5, 2017 00:24

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

I'm a non theatre person who was unfortunate enough to work at a theatre for half a season before I GTFO. The craziest part is that I lasted there longer than the last three people before me in that role.

# ? Mar 5, 2017 00:41

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

I don't really know much about theatre and professional acting, but how common are explicit sex scenes? Every theatre production ive been to has been fully clothed, except the lion King where they had pants and body paint. Can't this lady just audition for parts that don't involve constantly loving hot dudes?

# ? Mar 5, 2017 01:15

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

I Was The Fury posted:

I don't really know much about theatre and professional acting, but how common are explicit sex scenes? Every theatre production ive been to has been fully clothed, except the lion King where they had pants and body paint. Can't this lady just audition for parts that don't involve constantly loving hot dudes?

yes but then she wouldn't get to constantly gently caress hot dudes

# ? Mar 5, 2017 01:25

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Khorne posted:

It's common to be critical of others in their face if you speak a language they presumably don't.

Maybe if you're an rear end in a top hat? Tbf that's pretty common too

P.s. Theater people are the worst and I would punch their dogs and/or insult them in a foreign language to their faces

# ? Mar 5, 2017 01:47

The Butcher: Apr 20, 2005; Well, at least we tried.; Nap Ghost

Pick posted:

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 1 year. We�ve had our ups and downs, but in general I am much happier with him in my life. Most of our arguments stem from what we jokingly call his �sociopath-like inability to understand human emotions�.

ha ha you know just the usual kind of thing normal healthy couples joke about

Themata posted:

Korean Romantic Comedy

If any filmmakers want to tap the largely untouched korean-american market segment, the plot of your first movie is written right here.

# ? Mar 5, 2017 03:43

Whitlam: Aug 2, 2014; Some goons overreact. Go figure.

I Was The Fury posted:

I don't really know much about theatre and professional acting, but how common are explicit sex scenes? Every theatre production ive been to has been fully clothed, except the lion King where they had pants and body paint. Can't this lady just audition for parts that don't involve constantly loving hot dudes?

Depends. Is it Broadway? Not super common. Smaller or independent poo poo? Not uncommon at all. The last thing I saw (live, that wasn't a musical) had a few very explicit, fully naked, gay sex scenes. It was actually interesting talking to the actors after about how they had to work those scenes because there were also a couple of ten year olds in the cast, and there are (understandably) very strict rules about what they could or couldn't see/be exposed to or on-stage with.

So uh solution is for boyfriend to start dating ten year olds, I guess? Am I doing advice right?

# ? Mar 5, 2017 04:09

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Bamabalacha posted:

Also, no one fucks as much as a straight dude in theatre, NO ONE.

I can confirm that being a goon is more than enough to cancel that out.

# ? Mar 5, 2017 04:57

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

fruit on the bottom posted:

I can confirm that being a goon is more than enough to cancel that out.

Being one who would become a goon was almost enough to cancel it out.

It did cancel out the idea that people working front of house in restaurants are constantly boning, but now that I look back I missed obvious signs several times. Goon!

# ? Mar 5, 2017 06:11

chumbler: Mar 28, 2010

If goons were capable of picking up on obvious signs they wouldn't be goons.

# ? Mar 5, 2017 06:13

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Am I supposed to settle?

quote:

I'm 25 years old, I'm pretty good looking, in shape, active, confident and social, however, all the women I am finding are either, Good looking and have such horrible personalities that it barely qualifies them as a human being, or great personality a lot in common, and fun to be around, but lacking in the looks department, and I'm sorry but I just cannot bring myself to be in a relationship with someone who I think isn't as good looking as I am or better.

However when I get into relationships with girls who are as attractive as I am or better, I can't stand to be around them. Mostly because they are just lovely people and when I'm around them I'd rather be eating the barrel of a shotgun.

I realize I'm still young, but its beginning to look like everyone settles for someone just because they don't want to be alone. Is this the case? Is there really someone out there for everyone or does everyone just give up and do whatever they can to not be alone? Am I just too shallow?

just wait till this dude turns his monitor off and discovers the love of his life

# ? Mar 5, 2017 08:11

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

I'm sure everyone has a fantastic time standing him as well. Yikes

# ? Mar 5, 2017 08:15

TheKennedys: Sep 23, 2006; By my hand, I will take you from this godforsaken internet

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Am I supposed to settle?

just wait till this dude turns his monitor off and discovers the love of his life

As we used to say in the sweaty-nerd-heavy gaming business, single/sane/attractive, pick two

# ? Mar 5, 2017 08:21

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Dear reddit I only meet attractive single crazy women what do I do??

# ? Mar 5, 2017 08:32

Kite Pride Worldwide: Apr 20, 2009

ALWAYS stick your dick in the crazy.

# ? Mar 5, 2017 12:44

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Am I supposed to settle?

just wait till this dude turns his monitor off and discovers the love of his life

Keep this guy away from streams and rivers, other pools of water deeper than two inches

# ? Mar 5, 2017 13:08

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 14, 2024 13:41

Waterbed Wendy: Jan 29, 2009

Whitlam posted:

Depends. Is it Broadway? Not super common. Smaller or independent poo poo? Not uncommon at all. The last thing I saw (live, that wasn't a musical) had a few very explicit, fully naked, gay sex scenes. It was actually interesting talking to the actors after about how they had to work those scenes because there were also a couple of ten year olds in the cast, and there are (understandably) very strict rules about what they could or couldn't see/be exposed to or on-stage with.

So uh solution is for boyfriend to start dating ten year olds, I guess? Am I doing advice right?

Advice! Wow, you sure did it! Oh man, look at that. Congrats and no, advice bad. Baaaaaaaaaad. Good friendly try! Try again? Maybe. Advice bad.

# ? Mar 5, 2017 14:04

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »