|
500 good dogs posted:you still sober little buddy? I'm on day 4.  My schedule has already basically reversed again. I woke up in the morning (well, AM at least) yesterday and even earlier today. With my extra meds I'm not feeling sick. Made one dr appointment and have another today. I'm horribly depressed and now my brain has to see reality so that whole deal sucks. That's pretty standard though. Basically, so far so good.
|
#
?
Mar 3, 2017 16:42
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 9, 2024 16:47 |
|
|
Wishing you the best. Hope the depression moves on. Alcohol won't help that.
|
|
#
?
Mar 3, 2017 17:13
|
|
|
Oscar Wild posted:Wishing you the best. Hope the depression moves on. Alcohol won't help that. Oh that depression ain't moving on. Had it since I was around 13 or so and it's only gotten more severe over the years. I have a few other not-so-fun diagnoses as well. I've heard that alcohol is the single worst thing you can do when you are bipolar so uh...... yeah. Thank you though for your concern. I really need to do this.
|
|
#
?
Mar 3, 2017 18:57
|
|
|
Hmmm, something that isn't helping is that I kinda poured out WAY too much information to you guys and since you are all weird internet people I'm a bit nervous. I don't want any sort of doxxing or anything. This was all probably a pretty bad decision.  I am a completely normal person if you were to meet me and you wouldn't be able to tell a thing. Hell, most people find me quite nice and fun! Ah well. Too late now.
|
|
#
?
Mar 3, 2017 19:01
|
|
|
Aging Millenial posted:Whenever I feel down I just curl up into a ball on my bed and listen to audiobooks about why the world/society/things etc are hosed up and it honest to god often ends up making me feel better you goons should try this instead of alcohol Seriously this. The boredom I experience when not drinking is always what drives me back, but making myself physically engage with something (even though I might not have any interest) is the best way to break the cycle. Try to create little rituals that will take the place of the booze.
|
|
#
?
Mar 3, 2017 19:10
|
|
|
Pennywise the Frown posted:Oh that depression ain't moving on. Had it since I was around 13 or so and it's only gotten more severe over the years. I have a few other not-so-fun diagnoses as well. I've heard that alcohol is the single worst thing you can do when you are bipolar so uh...... yeah. Thank you though for your concern. I really need to do this. Alcohol really is bad if you are anywhere on the bipolar spectrum, and is really not good with depression, either. You're likely to see an improvement after being off the alcohol for a period of time, which I know is not all that reassuring in the short term. It really does get better, though. My own psychiatric history is a bit odd, but I can say that everything was made worse by my drinking. It sounds like you are doing a great job following up with your doctor and working to take care of yourself, and I just want to encourage you to try to keep some hope in mind, even if it is mostly intellectual.
|
|
#
?
Mar 3, 2017 21:49
|
|
|
Pennywise the Frown posted:Hmmm, something that isn't helping is that I kinda poured out WAY too much information to you guys and since you are all weird internet people I'm a bit nervous. I don't want any sort of doxxing or anything. This was all probably a pretty bad decision. why would anyone doxx you, it's not like you've molested a child or enjoyed the wrong videogame
|
|
#
?
Mar 3, 2017 21:55
|
|
|
I don't know. After hiding all of this stuff for for 10 years everything kind of blew up and I wasn't as ashamed and then I think I started oversharing everything. I try not to in person anymore but it's difficult for some reason. I really didn't want to hijack this thread. I'm sure other people have problems as well but again, I think I just overshared. Glad to see people not doing the usual GBS "you're gay" thing though. It's not often that happens. 
|
|
#
?
Mar 3, 2017 23:19
|
|
|
Pennywise the Frown posted:I don't know. After hiding all of this stuff for for 10 years everything kind of blew up and I wasn't as ashamed and then I think I started oversharing everything. I try not to in person anymore but it's difficult for some reason. UR GAY. See? That wasn't so bad. Seriously, the biggest thing I think might help you is to internalize that a lot of people go through what you're going through. Noone is going to fault you for admitting your problems and seeking support and help. Wallowing in your own self pity is a whole different issue that will get you mocked. I don't think you are having a pity party.
|
|
#
?
Mar 3, 2017 23:28
|
|
|
Cheers, Pennywise. Can't do much as a stranger on a dead gay comedy forum, but just know that I'm wishing you luck and wishing you well.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2017 00:04
|
|
|
Day 5. I think the physical withdrawals are over now. On to the mental withdrawals for the indefinite future. I used to be smart or something so I'm kind of looking forward to regaining some cognitive ability. But with that comes even more pessimism and terrible anger about existence, etc. Oh well, one day at a time. My goal is 6 months. I will certainly fail. Thanks again GBS.
|
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2017 01:34
|
|
|
I literally went on the wagon the day this thread started so I guess I'm 27 days sober after almost 2 years of drinking 4-5 days/week. Lost 13 lbs. I was a little nervous I'd crave it but I really haven't. The secret for me has been getting up every day at 5:15 to work out. That way I'm falling asleep by 9:30 which is when I would usually start drinking.
|
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2017 01:55
|
|
|
Pennywise the Frown posted:Day 5. I think the physical withdrawals are over now. On to the mental withdrawals for the indefinite future. I used to be smart or something so I'm kind of looking forward to regaining some cognitive ability. But with that comes even more pessimism and terrible anger about existence, etc. Hell yeah you've almost made it a week
|
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2017 02:33
|
|
|
Pennywise the Frown posted:
It's my thread and im more than okay with you posting all this, congrats on making it this far and keep it up! 
|
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2017 02:42
|
|
|
I decided to bang a drunkenly girl until I realized she sucks down vodka like a champ. I had to "show her the door" after she almost cracked her skull falling down in my shitter. Like a handle every 3 days, little food. She quit cold turkey & didn't die. She'll meet a nice fellow at the meetings I hope
|
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2017 02:59
|
|
|
Isn't sobriety itself a kind of vice?
|
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2017 03:46
|
|
|
Pennywise the Frown posted:Day 5. I think the physical withdrawals are over now. On to the mental withdrawals for the indefinite future. I used to be smart or something so I'm kind of looking forward to regaining some cognitive ability. But with that comes even more pessimism and terrible anger about existence, etc. Congrats on making it to day 5. Honestly I wouldn't be trying to think about the distant future (for me 6 months feels like forever), and just stick with the one day at a time for a while.
|
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2017 07:41
|
|
|
This is probably good advice.
|
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2017 09:37
|
|
|
I bought a big rear end model rocket and a Ka-50 Russian helicopter (from the DCS game ). Going to force myself into a hobby to see if something clicks again. Sorry again for bumping this. Come on, someone else has to be a raging alcoholic loser who wants to quit too. This is like my personal log now.
|
|
#
?
Mar 5, 2017 23:41
|
|
|
Happy for you, Pennywise. I've used alcohol to just forget things and dull the boredom of existing many times but luckily I'm too poor (lol) to sustain alcoholism and besides it doesn't really help at all.
|
|
#
?
Mar 6, 2017 00:02
|
|
|
The Naked Mind is a pretty good book to read if you are trying to quit or cut down on drinking. https://www.amazon.com/This-Naked-Mind-Discover-Happiness-ebook/dp/B016JP45PU/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8
|
|
#
?
Mar 6, 2017 00:48
|
|
|
Pennywise the Frown posted:I bought a big rear end model rocket and a Ka-50 Russian helicopter (from the DCS game Good idea to try out things to do - see what serves you best.
|
|
#
?
Mar 6, 2017 01:01
|
|
|
I'm reparing some older models that some pieces fell off during the move to my house. Hands are shakey as poo poo and it's taking a long time to do some simple things. Putting tiny rockets on the rails of a Corsair is killing me. The rails are less than the size of a grain of rice. Maybe with practicing this my hands might settle down a bit.
|
|
#
?
Mar 6, 2017 01:26
|
|
|
CaptainSarcastic posted:Congrats on making it to day 5. Honestly I wouldn't be trying to think about the distant future (for me 6 months feels like forever), and just stick with the one day at a time for a while. I'd actually go one step further and not count the days period should your goal be lifelong sobriety. Decentralize the importance of alcohol.
|
|
#
?
Mar 6, 2017 01:44
|
|
|
ROFL Octopus posted:I'd actually go one step further and not count the days period should your goal be lifelong sobriety. Decentralize the importance of alcohol. I personally agree with this, but I figure it is the kind of thing each person needs to figure out what works for them. I can say with certainty that I had quit drinking by Thanksgiving 9 years ago, but can't be more exact than that - I wasn't keeping track. That said, I wouldn't expect anyone to follow exactly the same methodology that I did.
|
|
#
?
Mar 6, 2017 05:39
|
|
|
Yeah I'm not going to try to get too hung up on the days. Just for the first while I'd like to see my progress.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 01:26
|
|
|
im still finding the odd reason to drink but at least it isnt every 2nd day or my night off like it was congrats pennywise, keep at it, the best thing is not feeling guilt
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 08:18
|
|
|
I drank beer and played some guitar today it was warm beer but still mighty tasty. The best is to take a big drink and hold it in your mouth at the start of a song so you can savor it along the way.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 08:40
|
|
|
Isn't that what one of those hats with the beer and straw is for
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 08:43
|
|
|
Yeah and believe me I have been looking into this.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 08:45
|
|
|
I had a (probably bad) idea. I have one of those handheld weed vaporizers and I save the refuse. I don't smoke much but have been since I quit drinking. Anyway, my friend gave me his coffee grinder for his stuff and I turned the leftover stuff into powder and capped them. I took maybe 3 yesterday and had a nice low grade high that rolled in gently so I didn't get super paranoid. Paranoia is bad when you are drinking to numb everything. Anyway, I'm wondering if I just take one pill, I won't get high at all but might be a little more relaxed throughout the entire day. The unfortunate part (really) is that I'd have to smoke a ton of weed in order to make these capsules. That would be awesome if the VA just sent me some weed pills as a medication. Oh, day 8 btw. edit: yeah I know trading one drug for another is bad but come on, it's weed. My doctors/therapists ask me if I'm doing drugs all the time and I say "well just weed" and they're like  oh ok, I meant real drugs.
Pennywise the Frown fucked around with this message at 17:56 on Mar 7, 2017 |
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 17:53
|
|
|
i hate to break it to you but you are wasting your time if you are going to substitue. its like putting a 357 in your mouth instead of a shotgun.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 18:06
|
|
|
DGSW. Tell me how to get high on life. I'm certain you are a life loving individual.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 18:08
|
|
|
Pennywise the Frown posted:DGSW. Tell me how to get high on life. I'm certain you are a life loving individual. im not high on life at all YET. but i am working the steps with a sponsor and seeing a therapist and taking my meds so if i can get through the PAWS i should be home free. find a higher power, OP
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 18:09
|
|
|
dad gay. so what posted:find a higher power, OP No. edit: wait, I'm not the OP, I just accidentally hijacked the thread, nm
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 18:14
|
|
|
Pennywise the Frown posted:No. it can be a doorknob
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 18:16
|
|
|
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves*. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. *the OP / hamburger clown guy
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 18:18
|
|
|
I drank a bit less over the weekend.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 18:20
|
|
|
dad gay. so what posted:Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves*. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. I like SMART better. It doesn't have any stupid rules a "you are worthless and you need to do these steps or you will be an alcoholic forever, or literally the Christian god even though they absolutely and vehemently say that it isn't even though they pray to god all the time and their books literally reference god all the time. SMART is cool. Also, I'm WAY honest with myself. I'm very self aware. Probably too much that it is a horrible detriment to me.
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 18:39
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 9, 2024 16:47 |
|
|
Pennywise the Frown posted:I like SMART better. It doesn't have any stupid rules a "you are worthless and you need to do these steps or you will be an alcoholic forever, or literally the Christian god even though they absolutely and vehemently say that it isn't even though they pray to god all the time and their books literally reference god all the time. so aware that you are substituting one drug for another even though you are an admitted addict see you in hell, idiot
|
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2017 18:40
|
|