Elsa posted:

How about contributing instead of posting about other people not posting or being weirdos.

And I've had therapy this is me after therapy.

I'm fine just let it happen.

Lockback posted:

Wanna read about a real winner?

[26, F] My fiancé [27, M] wants me to act whipped in front of his friends. I'm thinking about calling off the wedding.

ArbitraryC posted:

Raising a kid from a previous relationship is something I wouldn't really want to do but it'd be for all the internal reasons, I can't imagine caring about what other people would think. Does that dude hang out with living breathing strawmen from the redpill forums or something?

zakharov posted:

Elsa stop posting in this thread and get therapy

Elsa posted:

How about contributing instead of posting about other people not posting or being weirdos.

And I've had therapy this is me after therapy.

I'm fine just let it happen.

quote:

Me boy 21 here girl 20
Been together for 4 years now , the first year at age 17 we both cheated on each other , then one year went good , then one year in the army where we hade a long distance realtionship (skype) , she broke up whit me 2 times that year over the phone. then i came back and lived at here perents house for six months and then moved out in a lovely apartment on a farm cuz she got here horses there and i hate the place now after moving here and it has now gon six months , and in that last year she has broken up whit me 5 times.
but when she breaks up whit me it gos like this every time , she gets mad , breaks up , i say ok , then she realise that she actually CAN loose me and begin to sweet talk , play the i'm sick card,talk about how its going to be difrent and then have sex.
the girl is cool , she smokes weed whit me , she love to game , and is cind of nerdy , cute and fucks like a god. But am very atheist like and she is down whit healing and poo poo. She is bad as gently caress whit oconnomy , dont hve a real job , and is compleatly uncapebal of cleaning up after here.
but im so so tierd of the breaking up stuff and now i have had enough , but i dont have the bals to say "i want to break up" .Are realy sceard of what to do next , so mouch history whit here family , where can i move? , how is it beeing single?
am i right ending this??
TL;DR! Me M21 GF20 , 4 years rollercoaster relationship , am i right ending it?

quote:

Yes you are correct in ending it, but please improve your spelling and grammar if you want to get anywhere in this world. yolo

quote:

sorry not a native english speaker , never been to a english speaking country and i wrote that without any grammar/correction/spelling helping tool

quote:

OK, but be careful. It sounds like you are learning english from a gangsta rapper.

Nazzadan posted:

Please tell me i am doing the right thing here?




OP

quote:

sorry not a native english speaker , never been to a english speaking country and i wrote that without any grammar/correction/spelling helping tool

quote:

I have been dating my girlfriend[26f] for about two years now, and last year I started dating my boyfriend[23m]. While my boyfriend and girlfriend don't date each other, they are extremely close. My boyfriend moved in with us about six months ago, and things are going as smoothly as ever.
About two weeks ago I was talking with one of my favorite coworkers (I'll call them S) over lunch, and I accidentally said "my boyfriend and I," and because S knows I have a girlfriend (and I thought I could trust them to keep it in confidence) I told him about my relationship-situation.
S was fascinated and by the whole arrangement and had lots and lots of questions which I was happy to answer. Later S went out with another coworker and ended up telling them about it, and that coworker seems have to told the entire goddamn office...
One coworker in particular (Let's call her H) is extremely uncomfortable with this information. She has been openly hostile towards me since finding out. She sent me a nasty email telling me that my choice of relationship was wicked and perverse. She has been very vocal about how she doesn't trust me not to try and "steal" other people's boyfriends/husbands. She apparently made some comment about how she, "Won't be bringing her husband to the Halloween party with me around."
I am not a confrontational person in the least (it scares the poo out of me actually,) and thus far I have just avoided this woman like the plague. I feel as though I am being bullied in my place of work, and while I've just tried to ignore it I can't deny it hurts my feelings. I am also extremely angry at both S, who told my chatty coworker, and I am LIVID at my chatty coworker who told EVERYONE.
My relationship is nobody business but mine and my partners, but the cat's thoroughly out of the bag at this point and there's not much I can do other than work on some damage control.
TL;DR: My whole office knows I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. How on earth do I convince them I am not some sort of amoral slutbag?
EDIT: Lots of people are saying I never should've told S in the first place. That's a lesson DEFINITELY learned, from now on I am keeping all this in the vault. I consider S to be a close personal friend, as well as a coworker. I've known him for years, and he's the person who got me this job in the first place. He has been extremely apologetic and assures me that should I trust him with personal info again, he'll keep it to himself.
I haven't reported H to HR because (and I know this is silly) I don't want to talk about being in a polyamorous relationship with them. One of the things I'm afraid of, being in a poly-relationship, is being a spectacle. I realize I have to get over that and I'm going to report her tomorrow.

Hughlander posted:

One of the things I'm afraid of, being in a poly-relationship, is being a spectacle.

Yawgmoth posted:

I just love the one dude's name. THE SEX YELLER.

quote:

Starting a conversation[new]
submitted 22 minutes ago by unitedrigal
Tl;dr
Hi I'm 18 and so is my girlfriend and just out of the blue she wanted me to start a conversation and it caught me off guard and I'm not the best conversationalist. I would like help on what to talk about with her, like any subjects suggestions that might appeal to her or peak her interest please let me know thank you in advance

quote:

I gave him my card so he could go to the store to return a pair of shoes. He returned the shoes and gave me the receipt. We agreed that I am keeping that money on my card and using it for part of his portion of the monthly bills.
The night before he asked if he could use my credit card to buy a skate board online and he would give me cash (he does not have a bank account or any credit cards because of his bad credit). I told him no, I didn’t want to do that because he is currently unemployed, has limited funds and felt like he shouldn’t be spending his money on that since he already has a few skateboards that he doesn’t use that often.
I get home from work and look through my emails and see one from my credit card company that says there was a large purchase recently and asked me to review it. Apparently after he returned the shoes, he used my card to purchase a $120 skate board online. I was mad and asked him why he did that after I told him I didn’t want to do it the previous night. He just kept saying he will give me the cash for it so he doesn’t know what the big deal is. I feel like it would be the same as me taking cash out of his wallet without consent, even if I intended on paying it back. The more I think about it, the more upset I get and want make him cancel the order but I don’t want to seem like a bitch. Am I overreacting?
TL;DR- gave my boyfriend my credit card to return something and he also used it to make a $120 purchase without my consent but plans on paying me back.
Update
Thanks for all your comments. I talked to him about everything again when I got home yeaterday. He agreed that he was wrong, apologized and said it won't happen again. He forwarded me the email from his order so I could cancel it but they already shipped it so he gave me the $120 cash. I let him know I will not be giving him my card for any reason in the future.
For those asking how he had limited funds, he has been unemployed for 3 weeks. He still had money from his last few checks. We also had a long talk about him looking for work again and he is starting that today.

Pick posted:

Moridin920 posted:

Bro that's fine but it's different when you wake up and only have 30 mins to get to work. You can't just go "well I'm too tired to drive today, guess I'll take the bus" and show up 2 hours late to your shift with the excuse of "well I didn't sleep well so I took the bus instead of driving." That would get your rear end poo poo canned in most service jobs.

All I'm saying is that saying everyone who drives tired is the same as someone who drives drunk because the impairment exists and they should know better is great if you're well off but that doesn't mean squat to someone on the grind working 2 jobs who is basically always tired anyway. It's dumb to lump those people in with drunk drivers imo.

quote:

Should I [33 M] be upset/concerned that the girl [23 F] I'm seeing stayed over at another guy's house?Relationships
submitted an hour ago by Gryffindor82

Backstory: A bit of an age difference, and it started off as just a fun-fling but we quickly realized we had a lot in common and had a ton of fun together.
It's been 6 months and while we aren't officially boyfriend/girlfriend we have all the trappings of a relationship: she basically lives at my house, we say that we love each other, we both agree that we expect/want exclusiveness.
The only major issue I have is that she still talks to/texts with a lot of guys.
I've tried to not be "that jealous guy" and get angry or resentful that she communicates with these people, but I will admit that sometimes I do feel a bit disrespected/angry when she does... I'm not sure if that's fair or not and I try not to vocalize my concerns (although sometimes I do grumble).
I will add that some of these guys are ex-boyfriends/hook-ups. Getting into this I knew she had remained friends with many of her old relationships; but I'm still a little off-put by how casual she is with people with whom she used to have sexual relationships with. Maybe I'm just a prude.

CURRENT ISSUE:
Recently, she started re-talking with a guy she used to hang out with a few years ago. They got out of touch and didn't talk much over the past 2 years, but recently they started talking again. However, part of the reason they stopped talking was because they almost slept together at a party back then; but he had feelings for another girl and it didn't happen.
Again, I didn't find this all out. She told me; she's very up front about it.
She wanted to hang out with the guy, but he lives about 1hr away and she put off hanging out with him a few times (in many instances to spend time with me).
However, last night she finally made good on her plans to go down and hang out with the guy. Here's our conversation:
Her: Hey I'm at nicks now Just to let you know
Me: okay? is this like a "in case I go missing" precaution lol?
Her: Hahaha sure
And that was that; and then this morning....
Her: Morning I ended up staying over nicks And now I'm gonna be like an hour late Because I'm going 2 mph on the freeway A little rain and people forget how to drive
So turns out she stayed over the guy's house. Makes some sense, it was late, the weather was terrible, etc. etc.
I'm very very doubtful that anything happened, hell I've learned that if someone wants to cheat... they are going to cheat, you can't really stop that, no amount of controlling behavior can prevent it.
However, I do feel like her staying over... and acting like it's perfectly fine and is no-big-deal.... just feels like a kick in the balls.
I want to confront her about this and get angry about this... but I can't tell if I'm just over-reacting and if I am blowing this way out of proportion.
What are your thoughts?

tl;dr:"Girlfriend" hung out with guy-friend-who-she-used-to-have-a-thing-for and ended up spending the night at his house. Should I be pissed or am I over-reacting?

quote:

you are probably right that she's not on the same page...I don't think she's trying to take advantage of me but I also don't think she wants to make the commitment to be in a relationship and all the meaning that that entails.
problem is..I'm not sure I want to be in a full relationship either...I just don't want her spending the night at other guys houses...

Nazzadan posted:

Unfortunately, I appear to be at the end of the "horse" keyword.

My [28F] SO of 4 years [30M] used my credit card without my consent

quote:

I gave him my card so he could go to the store to return a pair of shoes. He returned the shoes and gave me the receipt. We agreed that I am keeping that money on my card and using it for part of his portion of the monthly bills.
The night before he asked if he could use my credit card to buy a skate board online and he would give me cash (he does not have a bank account or any credit cards because of his bad credit). I told him no, I didn’t want to do that because he is currently unemployed, has limited funds and felt like he shouldn’t be spending his money on that since he already has a few skateboards that he doesn’t use that often.
I get home from work and look through my emails and see one from my credit card company that says there was a large purchase recently and asked me to review it. Apparently after he returned the shoes, he used my card to purchase a $120 skate board online. I was mad and asked him why he did that after I told him I didn’t want to do it the previous night. He just kept saying he will give me the cash for it so he doesn’t know what the big deal is. I feel like it would be the same as me taking cash out of his wallet without consent, even if I intended on paying it back. The more I think about it, the more upset I get and want make him cancel the order but I don’t want to seem like a bitch. Am I overreacting?
TL;DR- gave my boyfriend my credit card to return something and he also used it to make a $120 purchase without my consent but plans on paying me back.
Update
Thanks for all your comments. I talked to him about everything again when I got home yeaterday. He agreed that he was wrong, apologized and said it won't happen again. He forwarded me the email from his order so I could cancel it but they already shipped it so he gave me the $120 cash. I let him know I will not be giving him my card for any reason in the future.
For those asking how he had limited funds, he has been unemployed for 3 weeks. He still had money from his last few checks. We also had a long talk about him looking for work again and he is starting that today.

Pvt.Scott posted:

It's about the same level of risk, we just accept that risk as necessary. Drunk driving is also usually coupled with driving tired for a double dose of stupid, tho.

Have you ever driven to work and not remembered the drive at all? That's your brain on autopilot, which is a cool rear end phenomenon and is relatively ok for highway driving as long as there's no obstacles or sudden surprises.

Moridin920 posted:

I have done that and I understand it is about the same level of risk, it's just that I have 0 sympathy for people who drink and drive whereas I have some sympathy for tired drivers bc one is way way more ethically suspect than the other. imo.

But like yeah if you're on a road trip and tired, pull over and take a nap.

quote:

we aren't officially boyfriend/girlfriend

Pvt.Scott posted:

I'm just saying I can't wait until my robot overlords come. The US doesn't function without personal vehicles.

quote:

My girlfriend and I have been together for a couple years, and while things are good and I like spending time with her, I'm not sure how to best address the fact that I hate the way she dresses.
She's 30, but due to a combination of good skincare, good genetics and a meek demeanor, she has a much more youthful appearance, which is great!
However, she dresses like a sixteen year old. It seems like in the only clothes she owns are crop tops, short shorts, or graphic metal tees. She also has a lip piercing on one side of her mouth and in the winter she wears oversized hoodies and big chunky skate shoes.
How can I suggest to her to upgrade her look to a more mature one without seeming mean or harsh? I feel kind of embarrassed sometimes because no one ever believes me when I tell them she's thirty. They all think she's fresh out of high school at first impression.
tl;dr: Girlfriend dresses like a teenager, what do?

Mirthless posted:

if somebody says they "can't have a bank account" for any reason, run the gently caress away as fast as you can

you don't get denied a bank account over bad credit

Moridin920 posted:

On the one hand, not really up to her to be dictating what homie can spend hisher money on.

nerd plus rage posted:

r/relationships: I am IRISH!

Nazzadan posted:

I like this one because it's from my town and the dude is totally right about how the women dress here. Not that there is literally anything wrong with it, I think it rules.

I'm [27M] having trouble with the way my [30F] girlfriend likes to dress

cumshitter posted:

He was an immense rear end in a top hat the entire time and continued to demand that I approve him, but it was kind of fun because it was like explaining basic everyday adult finance poo poo to an alien.

Nazzadan posted:

I like this one because it's from my town and the dude is totally right about how the women dress here. Not that there is literally anything wrong with it, I think it rules.

I'm [27M] having trouble with the way my [30F] girlfriend likes to dress

quote:

in the winter she wears oversized hoodies and big chunky skate shoes.

Pick posted:

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

ummmm....

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

what the gently caress do you get refused a bank account for, ISIS affiliation?

Moridin920 posted:

Yeah but he is spending the money and immediately reimbursing her with cash. I do this with my SO and my friends all the time it's not that big a deal. She's not out any money of her own at all; he just wants to use the card to make an online purchase.

He's not like asking to borrow it or anything. Her own reasoning is "well I don't think he should be making that purchase because he is unemployed at the moment."

Moridin920 posted:

Yeah but he is spending the money and immediately reimbursing her with cash. I do this with my SO and my friends all the time it's not that big a deal. She's not out any money of her own at all; he just wants to use the card to make an online purchase.

He's not like asking to borrow it or anything. Her own reasoning is "well I don't think he should be making that purchase because he is unemployed at the moment." Ofc she is free to say "no you can't use my card" and he shouldn't have used it, don't get me wrong, but she is also making a judgement about how the dude should spend his money.

many johnnys posted:

He didn't ask, and he's spending money they can't afford. It's not even close to the same.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

lol gently caress off you don't get to help yourself to the contents of other peoples' bank accounts just cause you'll, like, totally pay them back and people absolutely can refuse your dumb rear end a loan for some bullshit they don't approve of (when you haven't stolen from them)

Moridin920 posted:

It's not "their" money is what I am saying. It is "his" money, and he wants to use her card for the payment and hand her cash

Leon Einstein posted:

No, it's the lending institution's money, and he was told he couldn't use it. Why are you defending this?

Moridin920 posted:

I mean jesus dude how many times do I gotta say "he was def in the wrong and shouldn't have used the card" here?

Leon Einstein posted:

As long as you keep saying it was his money and no big deal.

quote:

I told him no, I didn’t want to do that because he is currently unemployed, has limited funds and felt like he shouldn’t be spending his money on that since he already has a few skateboards that he doesn’t use that often.