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Solice Kirsk posted:Some one post that goon that used to stick his dick through a hole in the floor to piss. It may be a good time to just read through all of the bachelor threads. What people willingly admit to with names attached is pretty amazing. The awkward sex encounters thread too.
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Mar 7, 2017 04:24
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uber_stoat posted:my dad used to tell a story about how he would do just that and one day a chicken went under the house and pecked him on the dick. More than one person did this poo poo?!
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Mar 7, 2017 04:24
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My anonymous confession is that I like to try and deduce the race of the confessors. And that last one...well, it was kinda a dead giveaway.
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Mar 7, 2017 04:47
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loquacius posted:My twin brother and I are in an alcohol and rage fueled feud that has threatened to destroy our family and our small town. ZACH GALIFIANAKIS AND ZACH GALIFIANAKIS IN RIDE TOGETHER, DIE TOGETHER SUMMER 2017
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Mar 7, 2017 04:47
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Gloryhold It! posted:More than one person did this poo poo?! it was a rural situation. not much to do except set fires and stick your dick in a hole in the floor.
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Mar 7, 2017 04:48
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...and now the goons aren't even putting in the effort to make good fakeposts, it's just poo poo ripped from old b-plots of Scariest Places on Earth and Dukes of Hazzard. RIP this thread.
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Mar 7, 2017 05:59
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I'd love another ghost story thread but I don't know if enough time has passed for fresh stories... Or enough time has passed for CC goons to make new poo poo up.
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Mar 7, 2017 10:29
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Rednecks don't visit lawyers or have wills.
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Mar 7, 2017 15:40
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Fitzy Fitz posted:Rednecks don't visit lawyers or have wills. By will he could mean a piece of paper that says "I leave all my poo poo to my baby mama." Bonus points if most of the words are misspelled or if it's written on toilet paper. I actually wouldn't be surprised if the will is just him telling a few people that she gets his poo poo.
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Mar 7, 2017 17:21
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quote:I shot a poo poo ton of people in 2004 during my deployment in Iraq after finding out my girlfriend was shacking up with some rear end in a top hat. Not just enemy combatants but any of service age male who got in front of my sights died. Nobody knows but my fireteam and as far as I know two of them have committed suicide after being discharged. quote:I was walking downtown this weekend and was starving - like gonna pass out from hunger. I had 0 dollars in my wallet and had forgotten my debit card at a bar the night before. So I saw somebody throw away part of a Qdoba burrito. I rushed up to the garbage can and grabbed the foil wrapper and ate the scraps of that burrito. It was delicious and gave me the energy I needed to finish walking to that bar. Once I got my debit card I bought an actual burrito. not a doctor but you might have diabetes or hypoglycemia or something
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Mar 7, 2017 17:24
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Idk why people are having trouble believing the hick one seems 100% plausible to me. Have you met some of these people?
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Mar 7, 2017 18:00
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LethalGeek posted:Have you met some of these people?
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Mar 7, 2017 18:09
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i accidentally skipped enough of the dad fucker confession that i assumed it was a man and that was the reason the dad was out of the picture
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Mar 7, 2017 18:22
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Drunken Baker posted:I'd love another ghost story thread but I don't know if enough time has passed for fresh stories... Or enough time has passed for CC goons to make new poo poo up. Same, that was a very sweet  there's one in current GBS but it's shitted up with bad posts and 50ftant reposts. :tAnon you're good people for letting a little ghost kid watch movies and play games while you're away. Even if there's no ghost and you're probably mistaking old house stuff for the paranormal.
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Mar 7, 2017 19:45
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value-brand cereal posted:bad posts and 50ftant reposts. No need to be redundant.
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Mar 7, 2017 19:57
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value-brand cereal posted:current GBS but it's shitted up with bad posts yeah I eat rear end posted:No need to be redundant.
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Mar 7, 2017 20:56
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quote:I have always had issues talking to women and realized it was due to my confidence being so low. I'm not considered attractive to most women due to sickly thin wrists, weird pronounced clavicles, a sunken chest, and an overall really skinny frame. So I started trying to bulk up but it was hard and took forever. Then I started reading about plastic surgery and how a lot of men get muscle implants. Most American doctors don't do this due to Obamacare but there are home options. Yeah it's definitely the fault of every woman on earth that you did DIY home surgery on yourself quote:I used to be a bit of a health nut, but recently broke both my legs in a skiing accident and have been house-bound for the past few weeks. I've never eaten fried butter but I can't imagine feeling really good afterward That said my dad had a deep-fryer when I was a kid which we used every so often. It ruled.
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Mar 8, 2017 03:44
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loquacius posted:Yeah it's definitely the fault of every woman on earth that you did DIY home surgery on yourself
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Mar 8, 2017 03:46
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the funny thing is if you are willing to go as far as injecting yourself with stuff you buy off the internet there is several actual proven substances that will give you real muscles but you went the lumpy blob route lol
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Mar 8, 2017 03:47
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rezatahs posted:the funny thing is if you are willing to go as far as injecting yourself with stuff you buy off the internet there is several actual proven substances that will give you real muscles but you went the lumpy blob route lol Those still require exercise and work. Not really his style. I say just post yourself on Clips4Cash and rake in the money from LumpyBumpers. (thats a thing right?)
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Mar 8, 2017 04:07
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I just realized that poor sap won't even be able to jerk off without arms. Truly proof of natural selection at work.
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Mar 8, 2017 05:08
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Home surgery goon: You really hosed yourself up, but you always have a chance at love. If you learn Korean, you can hook up with the lady from this article.
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Mar 8, 2017 05:23
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KomodoWagon posted:No, I go before going to bed. Like an adult. haahaha you are actually legitimately hilarious. I'm just picturing you doing your whole I'm a big boy shtick in all kinds of horribly inappropriate situations, then everyone just kinda wrinkles their noses and glances around nervously like "who the gently caress brought this guy to the party"
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Mar 8, 2017 07:01
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The thin wrists thing is definitely from the incel thread. The rest is nonsense. the Obamacare quip was really over the top Subcutaneous saline injections are absorbed by the surrounding tissue in a matter of hours. Injecting other things can gently caress you up in lots of ways, but would probably involve emergency treatment to fix, which he neglects to mention. If it was gangrenous and injected into big muscles (biceps and quads) he would already be dead because it would be all over his bloodstream. Thanks women!
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Mar 8, 2017 07:46
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Solice Kirsk posted:Those still require exercise and work. Not really his style. I say just post yourself on Clips4Cash and rake in the money from LumpyBumpers. (thats a thing right?) taking test and eating loads are going to make you bulk up a fair bit even without exercise if you're a skinny monster
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Mar 8, 2017 08:15
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Frying everything in the house with both legs broken goon is gonna experience the MacGyver fate 
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Mar 8, 2017 11:37
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Rappaport posted:Frying everything in the house with both legs broken goon is gonna experience the MacGyver fate In the end it wasn't some corrupt south american despot who did him in with some overly convened murder plot - but simple, delicious deep fried food. Maybe this tells us that.. the real monster has rested within us all along Thanks Women!
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Mar 8, 2017 12:10
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Police Automaton posted:In the end it wasn't some corrupt south american despot who did him in with some overly convened murder plot - but simple, delicious deep fried food. Maybe this tells us that.. the real monster has rested within us all along I just meant how RDA broke his ankle or something and couldn't exercise for a while and got pretty fat, but this is probably the better joke given what day it is 
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Mar 8, 2017 12:37
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loquacius posted:Most American doctors don't do this due to Obamacare
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Mar 8, 2017 14:08
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Police Automaton posted:In the end it wasn't some corrupt south american despot who did him in with some overly convened murder plot - but simple, delicious deep fried food. Maybe this tells us that.. the real monster has rested within us all along I like this, it's National Women's Day, we should all thank women for everything they've done for us. Several have touched my penis! Thanks women!
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Mar 8, 2017 14:21
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quote:I began working in an office environment in my late teens. We were a small, close-knit department - fluctuating between maybe 4-6 staff in our room. I thought it would be a genius idea to 'boost the productivity' of my coworkers by spiking a flask of coffee with store bought caffeine pills. Fewer than 30 minutes had passed before the preggo lady fell ill and was taken to hospital where she ultimately lost her baby. Now I doubt that the extra caffeine boost would have caused her to jettison the fetus and it was just unfortunate timing. But sometimes I do wonder whether I could have contributed to it. Either way she soon turned to marijuana and reduced her hours at work so maybe it was for the best that babby wasn't born to this woman after all. quote:I believe my sister is being brainwashed by her husband. I do not know what to do. I dunno if this is really "brainwashing"; plenty of people (esp "troubled" people) in a relationship with someone who has strong opinions end up taking those opinions on, even if the opinions are objectively horrible. My wife's cousin married an ancap with teabagger parents and she ended up becoming a teabagger too. Not really a whole lot to do about it; you're just one of those people who has relatives they can't discuss politics with now.
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Mar 8, 2017 14:39
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quote:Either way she soon turned to marijuana and reduced her hours at work so maybe it was for the best that babby wasn't born to this woman after all. Nice bait.
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Mar 8, 2017 14:52
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loquacius posted:brainwashing  sound the loving alarms, someone in your family is happy with their life!!!!
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Mar 8, 2017 14:55
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Soooooo, was she right about the shooter? 
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Mar 8, 2017 15:05
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I assume caffeine baby murderer is fake (feels like it), but if not then congrats on causing this woman severe emotional distress. please don't drug people.
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Mar 8, 2017 15:15
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Drunken Baker posted:I'd love another ghost story thread but I don't know if enough time has passed for fresh stories... Or enough time has passed for CC goons to make new poo poo up. Remember the one where some goon liked to drop off groceries to local impoverished native Americans in Florida? One night he was walking back thru the woods and smelled something gross, but kept going. Later on he saw a dead animal but it didn't smell at all.... but then something came out, something that looked like a human with the head of a mountain lion. And the locals refused to talk about it. 2spooky4cliffs notes. Had a similar vibe to that scene in Pet Semetary with "whatever you heard was just loons across the lake" "whatever you saw was just swamp gas" There were a lot of ones where it was like "dude this is what happened, it was creepy as gently caress, I can't explain it, that's it." The ones that were blatantly made up were super lovely though. There was a point where motherfuckers were goddamn titling them and talking about the "gentleman's agreement" not to question them. Crap. A ghost story has to seem like it actually happened to somebody for it to work at all. Then fuckin 50' ant comes in. That's why I think the oldest threads were best and they all went downhill from there.
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Mar 8, 2017 15:50
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Also fry daddy dude get hosed. fry your disgusting "foods" like a normal motherfucker in a pot with oil goddamn
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Mar 8, 2017 15:54
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SniperWoreConverse posted:Also fry daddy dude get hosed. fry your disgusting "foods" like a normal motherfucker in a pot with oil goddamn What the hell do you think a Fry Daddy is?  It's literally a pot you fill with oil with its own integrated heating element that you plug into a wall outlet. 
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Mar 8, 2017 16:57
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bougie scum
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Mar 8, 2017 17:01
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Caffeine: The gateway drug that leads to dead babbys and the reefer.
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Mar 8, 2017 17:25
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