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Mystic Mongol
Jan 5, 2007

Your life's been thrown in disarray already--I wouldn't want you to feel pressured.


College Slice
Jewry is like Celestial... it's a racist term, but it's so old it doesn't so much offend people as remind them of the 1920s.

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HootTheOwl
May 13, 2012

Hootin and shootin

Prism posted:

He doesn't think that's offensive. Not even the spelling.

If the Klan had girlscout cookies, I'm sure Nigroes would be one of their cookies.

HootTheOwl
May 13, 2012

Hootin and shootin

Mystic Mongol posted:

Jewry is like Celestial... it's a racist term, but it's so old it doesn't so much offend people as remind them of the 1920s.

What, are angels a race?

Skippy Granola
Sep 3, 2011

It's not what it looks like.

HootTheOwl posted:

What, are angels a race?

Only if you have the Planar Handbook

Mystic Mongol
Jan 5, 2007

Your life's been thrown in disarray already--I wouldn't want you to feel pressured.


College Slice

HootTheOwl posted:

What, are angels a race?

Celestial is old timey slang for Chinese used in the American Wild West.

Trogdos!
Jul 11, 2009

A DRAGON POKEMAN
well technically a water/flying type


Also, Garrison's a bit slow with his ramblings so here's :words: for his previous cartoon

quote:

Wikileaks released ‘Vault 7,’ containing thousands of documents that detail the CIA’s spying and hacking activities, which may surpass even what Snowden revealed.

Information is power, and we have allowed the CIA and the deep state to have way too much of it. Instead of “We The People,” it has become “We The CIA.” The latter now decides how it’s going to be. Not us. Benjamin Franklin once said, “We have a Republic if you can keep it.” We haven’t kept it. The Deep State is not only able to illegally spy on just about anyone with a computer or ‘smart’ device, but they can also plant evidence to frame people. They’re attempting to do that with the ‘Russian hacking’ fabrication.

The Pentagon can’t account for $6.5 trillion. Where did the money go? Probably to fund and grow the pernicious Shadow Government. We’re funding a cancer that continues to lie to us while eating at our freedom and liberties. We’re paying for our own enslavement. People are finally waking up to what’s really going on and that’s the good news.

The Deep State collects data from all of us. It can be used against us in the future if need be. It’s all being stored on their supercomputers. Or they can simply make up and plant evidence. Our ‘smart’ TVs, computers and phones are data collection devices controlled by the Deep State. Even cars can be controlled to assassinate people such as Michael Hastings.

:siren:Barack Obama’s grandfather was in the CIA. Barry was probably groomed by the CIA to be president. It didn’t matter to the mainstream media that his birth certificate was faked and that he had a stolen social security number. It didn’t matter that he didn’t have the money or that his grades were poor. He somehow got into Harvard anyway. Some entity paid his way through life. The CIA-influenced MSM were eager to tout their arranged candidate. We got a our first black President and probably our first gay and Muslim president as well. He helped usher in even more cultural Marxism, globalism, and secrecy. He also helped increase the power of the Shadow Government.:siren:

It could all unravel with the revelations revealed in Vault 7. We know Obama has remained in the Beltway in order to bring down President Trump. What he is doing borders on sedition, but if it is proven he wiretapped Trump, it will be worse than Watergate. Obama should be locked up along with Hillary, Podesta and all the other pedophiles and traitors.

—Ben Garrison

Cape Cod Crab Chip
Feb 20, 2011

Now you don't have to suck meat from an exoskeleton!
One of the interesting things about Payne is that while he's pretty much a party line Republican cartoonist on most issues, I think he's genuinely not racist towards black people. Or at the very least nowhere near as much as his peers. He drew snooty Obama just like the rest of 'em but coming from him I could honestly believe the antipathy came from the fact that Obama was a Democratic president. This also means that of all cartoonists who would make Ben Carson cartoons, he might have been one of the only ones who seems like he truly admires the man in some capacity rather than using him as some kind of token gotcha.

Which gave us this one for the greatest hits collection:

Duke Igthorn
Oct 11, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Conservatives, female conservatives, male conservatives, black conservatives, gay conservatives, AND Milo Yiannowhatever?? I haven't seen reach like that since Bao Xishun saved those dolphins.

Lord Hydronium
Sep 25, 2007

Non, je ne regrette rien


Lol at Milo being in one of the tiniest font sizes. Yeah, probably don't want to advertise that one too heavily, Garrison.

Lord Hydronium fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Mar 9, 2017

LaserShark
Oct 17, 2007

It's over, idiot. You're gonna die here and now, and the last words out of your mouth will have been 'poop train.'

So... just edit that second balloon and replace it with 'Except assholes', basically.

Vesi
Jan 12, 2005

pikachu looking at?

Lord Hydronium posted:

Lol at Milo being in one of the tiniest font sizes. Yeah, probably don't want to advertise that one too heavily, Garrison.

see even smaller "rape culture"

Prism
Dec 22, 2007

yospos

Vesi posted:

see even smaller "rape culture"

And even smaller than that, 'pussy grabbers'.

I can't make out anything past that even on maximum zoom.

sleeptalker
Feb 17, 2011

"Those wearing inappropriate clothes"?

Prism posted:

And even smaller than that, 'pussy grabbers'.

I can't make out anything past that even on maximum zoom.

I think the first part of the next one is "mind-control" ("resisters" maybe?)

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

You'd think that a Trump presidency would've mellowed men like Garrison out, but nope.

Jedit
Dec 10, 2011

Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Prism posted:

And even smaller than that, 'pussy grabbers'.

I can't make out anything past that even on maximum zoom.

And between the two "Straight people". Garrison thinks everyone who has a college education is a pinko queer.

Oxyclean
Sep 23, 2007


lmao @ "Feelings before Facts" on the podium. Because that's totally not something you can attribute to Trump's administration, republicans and climate change deniers...

I'd really like to know what bizzaro world Garrison lives in which "SJWs" have the power he believes they do.

D.N. Nation
Feb 1, 2012

"Fat shamers"

said hunka hunka man Ben Garrison

Starshark
Dec 22, 2005
Doctor Rope

Jay Rust posted:

You'd think that a Trump presidency would've mellowed men like Garrison out, but nope.

Wait until the mass executions are finished.

Cloud Potato
Jan 9, 2011

"I'm... happy!"
:britain:

Guardian:

"Martin Rowson on Philip Hammond's budget – The chancellor sparked a political row on Wednesday with a tax grab on self-employed workers that breached a Conservative manifesto pledge not to raise national insurance rates"
Bonus!
https://twitter.com/MartinRowson/status/839824092547190785

Telegraph:


Independent:


Times:

After Marilyn Monroe.

21 Muns
Dec 10, 2016

by FactsAreUseless
So Kirschen did a Jesus 'Toon, and then a cartoon complaining about "Jewry". Did he get outed as a literal Nazi, or what?

FronzelNeekburm
Jun 1, 2001

STOP, MORTTIME

A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

"Low-emissions vehicles?? B-but that's for babies! I want a big boys' toy!!"

1

2

3

4

5

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7

8

Also, Payne now has a friend in the EPA:



EPA chief says Congress should weigh whether carbon dioxide is a pollutant

quote:

"I think that measuring with precision human activity on the climate is something very challenging to do and there’s tremendous disagreement about the degree of impact," [Scott Pruitt] told CNBC. "So no, I would not agree that it’s a primary contributor to the global warming that we see."

Trogdos!
Jul 11, 2009

A DRAGON POKEMAN
well technically a water/flying type

quote:

Last month, Penn State issued a call to artists to submit designs for a statue should reflect Penn State’s principle of increasing ‘diversity and inclusion.’ My submission is in cartoon form.

I’ve worked as an independent commercial artist for nearly 20 years and I’ve dealt with many large corporations and their HR departments. As part of their company culture, ALL of them use the words ‘diversity and inclusion.’ There’s nothing wrong with that, but they also want strict adherence to company culture and that means a squelch on freedom of speech. Say something slightly misaligned from the two words ‘diversity and inclusion’ and one could easily be fired. There is no tolerance for those who even question whether or not a candidate for employment should be based on merit and qualifications. These days the white male is passed over in order to hire diversity. After all, it’s about ‘inclusion.’

It’s the same on college campuses. Rather than discuss ideas in a forum conducive to healthy debate, universities have abandoned logic, reason and evidence in favor of preserving the feelings of their diverse students. Instead of higher learning, we have a narrower channel of free speech. Certain words must not be used. Adherence to the politically correct narrative must be followed. It’s cultural Marxism at its worst. Fifty years ago, there were far more conservative professors at universities. Now, the vast majority of them are far far left purveyors of Cultural Marxism. It’s no wonder that they allow conservatives to be driven off campus or physically assaulted. The free speech movement began at Berkeley and it also died there.

Meanwhile, universities are charging students an absurd amount of money. Too many are enslaved by the resulting debt and it follows them for the rest of their lives. White males are passed over for women and minorities when it comes to the well-paying jobs. Many of students are forced to live with their parents.

It’s time for young people to revolt and STOP going to college. There are ways for you to succeed on your own without participating in the university debt machine that results in impoverishment and mind control. Build your own statue—maybe it could be a fist that’s flipping a stiff mid digit toward those higher institutions of learning that teach political correctness and obeisance to Big Brother.

—Ben Garrison

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

Lol he doesn't even understand what diversity is

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal

Jay Rust posted:

You'd think that a Trump presidency would've mellowed men like Garrison out, but nope.

Well, considering all Trump's presidency has been is scandal after scandal, massive leaks, his crowning EO being screwed by the court of appeals, Trump fans are pretty upset! Granted, none of it could ever be Trump's fault! Clearly it's the work of the deep state, or Obama.

Starshark
Dec 22, 2005
Doctor Rope

quote:

White males are passed over for women and minorities when it comes to the well-paying jobs.

Your assignment, thread, is to answer the question 'when will dumbass whitey stop spouting this poo poo' without using the phrase 'heat death of the universe'.

oddium
Feb 21, 2006

end of the 4.5 tatami age


i bet you idiots feel stupid for yelling at my phone driving now

D.N. Nation
Feb 1, 2012

Poor Ben. So wanted to drop the n-word in the office breakroom but those hippies frown upon it.

Sandpuppy
Jun 16, 2012

Social Abscess
of the
Universe
Last week I replaced the ceiling fan in my kitchen, and it came with 2 CFL bulbs for the light fixture. I wonder what people like Payne do in this instance. Do they smash those "squiggly" gizmos and go get REAL MAN LIGHT BULB, or just quietly put them in and enjoy a just as bright, long lasting, energy saving bulb like the grown ups do?


1


2


3


4


5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeKEXNMpVYI


6


7
Oh No Not My Butt makes a triumphant return.


8


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10


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13


14


15

LaserShark
Oct 17, 2007

It's over, idiot. You're gonna die here and now, and the last words out of your mouth will have been 'poop train.'

Okay, this one's actually kind of funny. The text needs to be streamlined a bit, though.

Feinne
Oct 9, 2007

When you fall, get right back up again.

Starshark posted:

Your assignment, thread, is to answer the question 'when will dumbass whitey stop spouting this poo poo' without using the phrase 'heat death of the universe'.

This universe's very last energy will be the gasp of a glowing white being to one of a slightly darker color: "No, you see, all lives matter."

Then nothingness.

Lord Hydronium
Sep 25, 2007

Non, je ne regrette rien


No, Branco, Trump accused Obama of planting taps. :rolleyes:

Duke Igthorn
Oct 11, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

"Why in the world would I need an umbrella: it's not currently raining."

Abyssal Squid
Jul 24, 2003


Gosh, those traps sure are obvious. You'd have to be some kind of idiot to fall for them. Some kind of idiot with an irrational, unquenchable loathing for Obama.

duz
Jul 11, 2005

Come on Ilhan, lets go bag us a shitpost



Only trump is dumb enough to get caught in a mousetrap. AGC.

ThaumPenguin
Oct 9, 2013


A HUNGRY MOUTH
Nov 3, 2006

date of birth: 02/05/88
manufacturer: mazda
model/year: 2008 mazda6
sexuality: straight, bi-curious
peircings: pusspuss



Nap Ghost

LaserShark posted:

Okay, this one's actually kind of funny. The text needs to be streamlined a bit, though.

Political Cartoon
beep beep vroom vroom green is a bad technology

Eggplant Squire
Aug 14, 2003



Literally this you poo poo.

Edmund Lava
Sep 8, 2004

Hey, I'm from Brooklyn. I'm going to call myself Mr. Friendly.

Lord Hydronium posted:

No, Branco, Trump accused Obama of planting taps. :rolleyes:

*tapps

HootTheOwl
May 13, 2012

Hootin and shootin

If indy cars went electric they'd just have battery stockpiles like they do tires, come on payne!

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Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!
The single biggest irony of Ben Garrison is that he is perpetually the most triggered snowflake of all time

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