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Mar 15, 2017 03:17
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| # ? May 10, 2024 16:14 |
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Look, just do what i fuckin do and buy some soulstones and imprison the ghosts to power your fell portals or monster crucibles. you can get a couple of rad monsters to attack villages out of a binded soul. Anyway, My Ice castle in the barrens is coming along nicely. I started with the standard tower and have been working on the ramparts. Having a problem with getting water to make the walls. My goblins are freezing to death while carrying the buckets and im wondering if their are more cold resistant ones.
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Mar 15, 2017 03:31
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Hihohe posted:Look, just do what i fuckin do and buy some soulstones and imprison the ghosts to power your fell portals or monster crucibles. you can get a couple of rad monsters to attack villages out of a binded soul. Just drop a couple goblins into the slurry as you freeze the bricks from time to time, it's helps reinforce things (like rebar) plus you don't have to pay them until they thaw
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Mar 15, 2017 03:42
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I tell all the birds they are beautiful, not just ravens. I am a shameful evil wizard.
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Mar 15, 2017 04:20
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WrenP-Complete posted:I tell all the birds they are beautiful, not just ravens. I am a shameful evil wizard. birds are tyrants of the sky, the advanced evolution of the lizard brain, any evil wizard worth their deathsalt should give them praise.
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Mar 15, 2017 05:02
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Bust Rodd posted:3) I heard of this Dwarven lich who used some goblin booster rockets to launch his 'lac into low orbit. Dude is like 6,000 years old now, I've met eleven mage knights who keep mistaking him for an elder god because know one can figure out how to fuckin' end the dude, his phylactery is flying through the material plane at speeds a friggin' air elemental couldn't touch. This is a great idea, but for the love of Vecna make sure it stays in orbit, you don't want to face the True Death out of nowhere when your 'lac burns up on reentry. Hobelhouse posted:Hey everybody, Evil Wizarding student here. I decided to go with necromancy after all! But now I'm coming into a fork in the road. My advisor is pushing me to specialize in ghosts, says it's an up and coming field. "Transparent Glowing Green is the new Black" were his exact words. I'd always seen myself going more for the skeleton/zombie route but I hear there's some guys doing rad poo poo with ghosts out in Necronomicon Valley. I saw an article that HexTech has been putting poltergeists to good work in raising dark towers for their new 666G network. I've always been inspired by their motto ("Be Evil") and it looks like ghostbinding has come a long way in just the last 5 years. If anything ghosts are lower upkeep than skeletons and they're smarter than zombies, and as a free bonus you get all the ectoplasm you could ever need so... I guess I'm asking if anyone's had a bad experience with ghosts? Any reason I shouldn't go for it? Keep The Laws, and you should be fine. It's a growth industry!  ChaseSP posted:But what do you do with the soul eating demon you're stuck with? Look it's better to prevent issues from happening in the first place. This guy gets it. Keep The Laws. WrenP-Complete posted:I tell all the birds they are beautiful, not just ravens. I am a shameful evil wizard. Healthy self esteem is essential in a bird minion, it promotes healthy preening with trophies from intruders.
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Mar 15, 2017 06:00
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:This is a great idea, but for the love of Vecna make sure it stays in orbit, you don't want to face the True Death out of nowhere when your 'lac burns up on reentry. Wait, how does this help? Your body regens at the 'lac, right? How the heck do you get back down?
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Mar 15, 2017 06:05
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Johnny Aztec posted:Wait, how does this help? Your body regens at the 'lac, right? How the heck do you get back down? Your soul goes into the lac while a body either regenerates or you have a trap for a young body to be provided for you.
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Mar 15, 2017 06:07
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Johnny Aztec posted:Wait, how does this help? Your body regens at the 'lac, right? How the heck do you get back down? uh dude teleport has unlimited range. lol look at this newb, can you even make a phylactery
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Mar 15, 2017 06:20
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Rutibex posted:uh dude teleport has unlimited range. lol look at this newb, can you even make a phylactery What ...what if you took Conjuration as your barred school?
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Mar 15, 2017 06:24
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Johnny Aztec posted:What ...what if you took Conjuration as your barred school? Enchantment.
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Mar 15, 2017 06:28
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ChaseSP posted:But what do you do with the soul eating demon you're stuck with? Look it's better to prevent issues from happening in the first place. I generally just call the Orking Man. He specializes in summoning orks who beat the demons senseless and then just hang around the place until they murder one another. And on the off-chance they survive, you got the beginning of a nice army. Speaking of armies, what am I supposed to do about this loving ranger turning my men against me? He keeps getting killed, but he keeps coming back somehow. I'm so annoyed by this that I might just suspend all promotions until that fucker is ended. Can rangers even have phylacteries? I thought that was an evil wizard only deal.
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Mar 15, 2017 06:47
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Screaming Idiot posted:I generally just call the Orking Man. He specializes in summoning orks who beat the demons senseless and then just hang around the place until they murder one another. And on the off-chance they survive, you got the beginning of a nice army. Is he secretly the last of a line of ancient kings of a lost realm prophesied to one day destroy the power of the ANCIENT ONES™®? Rangers always have something like that going on (seems like cheating to me to multiclass without the exp penalty)
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Mar 15, 2017 07:49
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naem posted:Is he secretly the last of a line of ancient kings of a lost realm prophesied to one day destroy the power of the ANCIENT ONES™®? Rangers always have something like that going on (seems like cheating to me to multiclass without the exp penalty) One of my guys said that he talked to himself a lot and spent a lot of time jumping over stones to build speed, but he was clearly drunk.
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Mar 15, 2017 08:07
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My old roommate did children's parties with real magic. I told him "magician" was fine as a job description, but he had to go with "pedomancer". 
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Mar 15, 2017 10:53
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So I got this cool internship with a real high-level dark wizard! It's going great, we've got this secluded tower out in the mountains with a great view of the forest of impaled trespassers. He's been having me help beef up security and I've been learning SO MANY creative uses for bound souls of the damned. Only problem is, seeing as we're up in the mountains my boss has been hiring out among the local troll tribes for odd jobs and stuff the dumber skeletons can't handle. We've got both rock trolls AND stone trolls here and maybe it's racist to say this, but I have no idea how to tell them apart. They get really salty when I call them the wrong thing, too. I don't want to look like an idiot in front of my boss or worse, cause an incident (he's currently wearing the last guy who did) so can anyone who's up on their troll lore give me some pointers?
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Mar 15, 2017 11:10
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My cousin Adrian wants to learn the dark arts but he's overweight and wears a trilby with a little plastic skull on it. loving necbeardromancers make us all look lame.
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Mar 15, 2017 12:46
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Hobelhouse posted:So I got this cool internship with a real high-level dark wizard! It's going great, we've got this secluded tower out in the mountains with a great view of the forest of impaled trespassers. He's been having me help beef up security and I've been learning SO MANY creative uses for bound souls of the damned. Only problem is, seeing as we're up in the mountains my boss has been hiring out among the local troll tribes for odd jobs and stuff the dumber skeletons can't handle. We've got both rock trolls AND stone trolls here and maybe it's racist to say this, but I have no idea how to tell them apart. They get really salty when I call them the wrong thing, too. I don't want to look like an idiot in front of my boss or worse, cause an incident (he's currently wearing the last guy who did) so can anyone who's up on their troll lore give me some pointers? Rock trolls have jagged protrusions from their backs and are a brownish grey colour, stone trolls have spiky protrusions from their backs and are greyish brown in colour. The very real threat of one of them sitting on you will help you remember the difference.
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Mar 15, 2017 15:06
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Screaming Idiot posted:One of my guys said that he talked to himself a lot and spent a lot of time jumping over stones to build speed, but he was clearly drunk. I've heard of this kind of thing before. You may be dealing with a Crow Revenant with possible Creeping Enthrallment. You know, one of those crow spirit things powered by true love or whatever. It's always a good idea to kill household heads first, and not make them watch what you do (skeletonizing and adding to the workforce is a popular choice) to the domestic partners and/or kids, just in case. For the love of Vecna, don't taunt them. Crow Revenants are almost impossible to get rid of once they get their "vengeance" dander up. The problem is, orcs are super prone to enthrallment (I mean, they have to to, to be a cheap and easy to control workforce) and it's possible that you're dealing with some kind infestation. Crow Revenant infestations are like bedbugs except you don't want them where you live, it makes managing your living workforce a pain in the rear end. The only real way to be sure you've gotten rid of the whole thing is to completely vacate your territory, which is obviously not on the table for most evil wizards starting out. If you've got a vacation or other secondary hold or keep somewhere, obviously, you can chill there for a few hundo till the infestation burns itself out and the Crow Revenant thinks it's beat you and releases it's host into the afterlife. You may as well write off the souls of that guy and his family, you're never gonna be rid of the Crow Revenant if you use them to power anything. CAPT. Rainbowbeard fucked around with this message at 19:57 on Mar 15, 2017 |
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Mar 15, 2017 19:54
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Here's the thing: You can make decent alliances with crows and ravens if you give them dead things.
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Mar 15, 2017 20:10
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WrenP-Complete posted:Here's the thing: You can make decent alliances with crows and ravens if you give them dead things. Eyeballs for crows. You can never go wrong with giving crows fresh eyeballs.
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Mar 15, 2017 20:12
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VendaGoat posted:Eyeballs for crows. You can never go wrong with giving crows fresh eyeballs. Yeah! That or silverfish.
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Mar 15, 2017 20:12
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VendaGoat posted:Eyeballs for crows. You can never go wrong with giving crows fresh eyeballs. Of minions, serfs, and vanquished foes, sure. But eyeballs of rarer creatures are valuable spell components. Make sure your stock room is in order and everything clearly labeled.
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Mar 15, 2017 21:09
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lately my ritual circles haven't been performing up to snuff, i've been attempting to summon pit fiends from the bowels of hell but all i get is a couple lousy skeletons and maybe an imp. is there a good spell for checking the expiration date on powdered ruby and emerald? i'm worried that might be my problem.
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Mar 15, 2017 21:20
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Office Surprise Store posted:lately my ritual circles haven't been performing up to snuff, i've been attempting to summon pit fiends from the bowels of hell but all i get is a couple lousy skeletons and maybe an imp. is there a good spell for checking the expiration date on powdered ruby and emerald? i'm worried that might be my problem. minerals dont expire you geological blockhead. undead is different from extraplanar, you need to get gud newb cast a circle of protection and in your case maybe an artifact to up your game yo. all about that willpower.
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Mar 15, 2017 21:27
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You probably got powdered glass instead of running ruby and emerald. Don't cheap out by getting prepared ingredients and this won't happen. Check and raid your local gem mine.
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Mar 15, 2017 21:30
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ChaseSP posted:You probably got powdered glass instead of running ruby and emerald. Don't cheap out by getting prepared ingredients and this won't happen. Check and raid your local gem mine.  , just , if you don't have a "Temple of Doom" mine for all of your mineral needs. loving scrub tier Hedge Wizards over here. 
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Mar 15, 2017 21:33
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ChaseSP posted:You probably got powdered glass instead of running ruby and emerald. Don't cheap out by getting prepared ingredients and this won't happen. Check and raid your local gem mine. i got run out of my last necromancer's tower and have never dealt with prepared ingredients before, some sword wielding jackass came in and cut up all my minions before quaffing about twenty different potions and trying to hit me in the face. trying to get established in a new location but it's pretty difficult if the locals are going to shortchange me. the pit fiend was supposed to dig the mine 
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Mar 15, 2017 21:52
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Office Surprise Store posted:
yeah you have fun with that. im sure that 2 million year old pit fiend will recall digging you a gem mine fondly.
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Mar 15, 2017 21:53
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Bud K ninja sword posted:
the devil's in the details, literally, thankfully i was able to escape with the spirit of a lawyer that i encased in crystal and brainwashed for this purpose now demons on the other hand, total brutes and i hate dealing with them
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Mar 15, 2017 21:55
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Office Surprise Store posted:the pit fiend was supposed to dig the mine That's like using a meteor swarm on a halfling child. Dude, just summon a poo poo load of dretchs. You think a pit fiend is going to use a loving shovel? What's with you man?
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Mar 15, 2017 21:55
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VendaGoat posted:You think a pit fiend is going to use a loving shovel? What's with you man? more reagents than sense
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Mar 15, 2017 21:56
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although i guess my specific problem at this point is i don't have any reagents
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Mar 15, 2017 21:58
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evil wizardlings should be mind controlling some drat goblins ffs.
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Mar 15, 2017 22:00
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Office Surprise Store posted:more reagents than sense Points for style though
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Mar 15, 2017 22:03
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So, I need some advice. I've always been what you might call... evil-curious. I experimented a bit in college, dabbled with some demon summoning and the like, but ultimately got my degree and pursued a career in healing magic (my dad always wanted me to be a healer and he paid my bills). I've been feeling for a while like I couldn't keep living this life. I stay up at night thinking about raising a few skeletons, or bending a tribe of Goblins to my will and my 'real' life seems so pointless and hollow. I think I'm ready to take the next step. I've been the healer for this group of heroes for a while now and we just got out of a really bad fight with a dragon. Most of them are pretty hosed up from it and we're dragging back to town. I'm thinking about sacrificing them all to a demon for power and knowledge so I can leave this life behind and start on my true evil wizarding passion, but everything I've read is really contradictory on who will actually help. Asmodel seems like a good choice, but I'm not sure of the sexual history of the rest of the party and he only seems to take human sacrifices if they're virgins? Ugh. I don't want to look like an idiot if none of them are and waste some perfectly good human sacrifices.
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Mar 15, 2017 22:13
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Zore posted:So, I need some advice.  cleric alert 'Healing magic' my boney rear end. You can call it what you want, but I know its true name: undead bigotry. We don't want your positive elemental energy slinging flesh body around here, buddy!
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Mar 15, 2017 22:23
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Tiny Deer posted:
C'mon man. He's trying to change for the better. But seriously, if you are just starting out you are better off using their sacrifice to bond a lesser fiend than in trade with a powerful one. The more powerful ones are always looking for ways to scam you until you have established a rep for either being incredibly dangerous or being incredibly useful.
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Mar 16, 2017 04:21
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This loving oval office of an adventurer! I leave for a weekend and Kragno the Slicer raids my loving treasure room. It wouldnt be so bad if HE DIDNT EXCLUSIVELY STEAL MY MAGIC SAPPHIRES! I needed those for the Ritual of Geel'nacth.  I swear if I find out the village of Featherlake put him up to this im going to use them for goblin food instead of just enslaving them.
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Mar 16, 2017 09:15
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| # ? May 10, 2024 16:14 |
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I was talking with my buddy Tingle the other day, and he says that his magic words are never stolen as long as he only lets mute elves in on the secret. Hope that helps!
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Mar 16, 2017 14:38
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