/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

Gorilla Salad posted:

The reason men get so bent out of shape in custody disputes is because the court doesn't really care about them at all - by design.

They care about the welfare of the child.

And so they bloody well should.

These men, who feel the entire world exists just to serve them, tend to lose their poo poo about not being the focus of everything so you can imagine how going through an entire court case where nobody really gives a poo poo what they think makes them feel.

* Ha, betcha thought I was gonna segue into an MRA rant there, didn't ya.

Then she takes him to court and gets the payments anyway. Childcare isn't about what the dad wants, it's about the two people who created a child ensuring its welfare. Which is why even abusive deadbeats have to pay.

*court hands child over to abusive drug addict*

# ? Mar 19, 2017 10:13

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# ? May 25, 2024 23:55

MAKE NO BABBYS: Jan 28, 2010

You cannot "just formula feed" an infant, you moron, without MAJORLY disrupting breastfeeding.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 10:30

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

MAKE NO BABBYS posted:

You cannot "just formula feed" an infant, you moron, without MAJORLY disrupting breastfeeding.

We did both, turned out fine. Did your baby have trouble?

# ? Mar 19, 2017 10:34

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

My (31F) husband (34M) of 2 years is bossy and I�m getting loving sick of it
u/sickofitthrowaway17

quote:

Hi,

I guess I feel sort of stupid writing all this, because my husband �Thomas� honestly is a good guy. He is gentle, caring, and very funny. We have been married for 2 years, together for 8, and have no children. But he can also be very bossy and I�m having a hard time getting him to understand how much this upsets me.

For example, we have a pretty even division of housework (we both work full time). But he doesn�t agree with the way I do �my� chores. Like, I prefer to take out the garbage when the bag is all the way full (unless it smells or something) because that way we use fewer bags and I think it�s less wasteful. But he thinks it should be taken out when the bag is ~ 3/4 full. So I�ll be getting ready for work and he�ll come over looking annoyed and tell me to take the garbage out. He�s not even asking or suggesting, he just says �hey take the garbage out,� and walks away. I have told him many times I prefer to wait until the bag is full, but he insists it needs to go out now.

If it was just the garbage it wouldn�t even be a big deal, you know it�s just the trash so whatever, but he�s like that about so many things. He�s a morning person and I really am not, but he seems to think he can turn me into one by getting me up early, even on the weekends and times we don�t have morning plans. He actually turns on the lights and tells me �it�s time to get up,� like I�m a teenager. It�s so ridiculous. When I was really tired I have told him not to get me up and that I need to sleep, but he usually comes back in 30 minutes or so insisting that I�ll �sleep the day away� and won�t be tired at night. Left to my own devices I usually get up around 9-9:30am on weekends. He starts getting me up around 8am.

Bedtime is tough too, because like I said he�s a morning person. He wants to go to bed around 10pm every night and gets annoyed that I don�t want to sleep then. He insists he can�t sleep if I�m awake and moving around our apartment, although at night I would typically just be working on my computer in the office. It�s not like I�m cartwheeling in the living room. I frankly cannot sleep that early no matter how tired I am and have told him so several times. Sometimes when I stay up he makes like a passive aggressive show of �having� to stay up until I go to bed and comments repeatedly how exhausted he is.

It just feels like as time goes on, more and more things have to be done his way. He wants to eat dinner together every night, but my work schedule can be unpredictable so sometimes I don�t get home until 8pm. I�m very good about texting to let him know my schedule, but when I have later days he won�t eat until I come home, occasionally texting to let me know he�s starving. He never wants to go out with friends any more, especially in the evenings, but gets upset when I decide that I do.

This has all come to a head this weekend because I�m sick. I mostly just want to sleep and occasionally have soup. I know he�s trying to help, but it�s been a nonstop barrage of all the things I have to do. �Take more cough medicine� �don�t sleep too much or you won�t be tired tonight� �eat more yogurt� �change out of your pajamas�. Mostly it�s stuff I know or am going to do anyway, I just wish he would stop commanding me to do it. Just a few minutes ago he announced he had to go to the store and told me, �I want all that Gatorade finished by the time I come back.� I had been sipping it off and on, but now I don�t want any. I want to throw it at him.

We have talked before about how I don�t like it when he just tells me to do things, but he gets really defensive and maintains that he has good reasons for wanting things a certain way. Once he even claimed that me asking him not to tell me what to do was really me telling him what to do, which just silly imo. I have been trying to convince him to attend couples counseling with me, but he says that because we are so busy he�d rather spend our free time doing stuff together, instead of in someone else�s office.

So reddit, I feel like I�m at the end of my rope. I don�t know how to tell my (mostly awesome) husband that his bossy and dismissive behavior is seriously killing any affection I have for him. What can I do to convince him that this is something we need to address?

Tl;dr: My husband is a good guy, but can be very bossy and I feel like he treats me like I�m a child. What can I do to convince him that this behavior is a problem?

none of this sounds "mostly awesome" to me, i think the correct words are mostly insufferable

# ? Mar 19, 2017 11:45

JFairfax: Oct 23, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Cumslut1895 posted:

*court hands child over to abusive drug addict*

oh you got custody?

# ? Mar 19, 2017 12:10

Cumslut1895: Feb 18, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

JFairfax posted:

oh you got custody?

I am strictly a glue sniffer, thank you.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 13:31

Whitlam: Aug 2, 2014; Some goons overreact. Go figure.

DOMDOM posted:

He wants to eat dinner together every night, but my work schedule can be unpredictable so sometimes I don’t get home until 8pm. I’m very good about texting to let him know my schedule, but when I have later days he won’t eat until I come home, occasionally texting to let me know he’s starving.

One of my friends is dating/possibly on the verge of breaking up with someone who does this, except replace 8pm with 11pm. And he expects her to cook.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 13:40

MAKE NO BABBYS: Jan 28, 2010

Subjunctive posted:

We did both, turned out fine. Did your baby have trouble?

You were literally able to alternate formula and tit interchangeablely with no issue? I've heard of people alternating when they have twins each feeding or mixing half n half because their supply was short but that's pretty remarkable.

# ? Mar 19, 2017 14:20

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

DOMDOM posted:

My (31F) husband (34M) of 2 years is bossy and I’m getting loving sick of it
u/sickofitthrowaway17

none of this sounds "mostly awesome" to me, i think the correct words are mostly insufferable

My girlfriend's husband does that same poo poo texting her saying he's starving when his rear end is at home and she at work, saying he can't sleep with her moving around. Good way to get cheated on or divorced

# ? Mar 19, 2017 15:15

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Blue Train posted:

My girlfriend's husband does that same poo poo texting her saying he's starving when his rear end is at home and she at work, saying he can't sleep with her moving around. Good way to get cheated on or divorced

That's probably why his wife has a boyfriend am I right

# ? Mar 19, 2017 15:21

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Exactly

# ? Mar 19, 2017 15:25

Barudak: May 7, 2007