/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »

Filboid Studge: Oct 1, 2010; And while they debated the matter among themselves, Conradin made himself another piece of toast.

What the gently caress

# ? Mar 22, 2017 14:00

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 02:08

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

I pee directly in my hands to optimize my bathroom breaks/kink trips.

I [26/f] am having trouble dealing with/taking my boyfriends [25/m] "kink" seriously. It just makes me feel ridiculous. ◉ Locked Post ◉

quote:

159 points 144 comments submitted 1 year ago by embarrassed-gf to r/relationships

So to start off my relationship with my boyfriend is great. We have been dating just over two years and he is a great guy. He is super loving handsome (like, straight up out of my league), kind, understanding, sexy, pretty much the whole package. We get a long great, and share pretty much everything with each other.

Well, I have a few 'kinks' when it comes to the bedroom and it took me about a year before I was comfortable explaining them to my boyfriend. He was super understanding about it and very eager to help me fulfill my fantasies and everything has been great. I asked him what he was into since he helped me out so much I only want to repay the favor but he was very shy about it. It took months of convincing from me telling me that I wouldn't judge him and I would be down no matter what (I consider myself very open minded).

Well, a few months ago he finally relented and told me what he was into. In terms of sex, it's actually super-vanilla. I don't really want to explain it but it is more along the lines of role play then a specific straight up sex act.

To keep this short, we tried it a few weeks ago and he really loved it, but I just felt stupid as hell. I feel so guilty about it because I know its really harmless and I sort of forced him to tell me and now I don't really know what to do. It's not something I'm UNCOMFORTABLE with in terms of not wanting to do it; but I'm just not comfortable since I feel super embarrassed, I feel like an idiot doing it. I don't really know how to break it to my boyfriend since he is super into it and he has done much weirder poo poo/outside of his comfort zone for me.

What should I do?

EDIT: Since I am getting so many messages to just explain what it is; It kind of varies a little but the gist of it is that he is a pilot (?) of a giant robot (like in the movie pacific rim) who has returned from battle or something similar. I am supposed to be either another female pilot/a civilian or any number of other things... I treat him like war hero or something and tell him how sexy I find him, or how he saved the world or something. He asks me to only call him by his "call sign" which I will NOT repeat here. Sometimes we have sex and it is at the barracks or his personal quarters or other times he will make me pretend we have loving in the cockpit of his robot (he calls it a "mecha").

For complete transperancey since some people were asking what he does for me, my kinks run along the lines of light bdsm/being tied up/watersports/anal/toys etc. More along the lines of specific acts where we are still ourselves. Less about roleplaying as other people which is where I find it difficult to grasp.

tl;dr boyfriend has strange roleplay fetish that I made him tell me about, told him I was fiine with it but when it came down to it I feel super embarrassed about it. not sure how to proceed.

Oh sure, you were all for it when it was your turn to be pissed on, but as soon as he wants to be called Goose and complimented on his flying chops you flake? Dick move, lady.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 14:05

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

The subreddit needs a rule where you can't allude to a kink without saying what it is

# ? Mar 22, 2017 14:08

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

Is that like some sort of British bog person mating ritual?

EDIT: I mean the physical abuse thing on the last page, not mecha-robot loser.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 14:08

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

If she forced the piss stuff into the bedroom and this is his revenge, this man is a hero.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 14:09

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

54 40 or gently caress posted:

The whole thing is like washing fruits and veggies you buy. I was pretty lax about it until I was shopping and this woman sneezed into her hand (and it sound wet af), then started rifling through all the tomatoes.

Heathens

I know I never used to.

I was raised in a very backwards rural area and only had tank water for most of my childhood which was only filled up every couple of weeks. Even when we upgraded to bore water, if you would do something as 'wasteful' as wash your fruit you'd get the poo poo beaten out of you.

"Rub it on your shirt if it's dirty" - even if it was covered in birdshit or had holes from insects eating their way through it. Yay, the magic of childhood in the bush.

As an adult I still grew most of my own stuff or bought it direct off farmers and never got into the habit. Which was dumb.

Even more dumb was not doing it with stuff I bought from supermarkets.

Now I wash everything, not just for hygiene but because gently caress my childhood.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 14:14

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

I used to have to soak my fruits and veggies with bleach water because they were grown using human waste.
AMA about the importance of washing things in third world hell holes. Wash your goddamn hands. :v:

# ? Mar 22, 2017 14:28

Buzkashi: Feb 4, 2003; College Slice

Bubblyblubber posted:

Oh sure, you were all for it when it was your turn to be pissed on, but as soon as he wants to be called Goose and complimented on his flying chops you flake? Dick move, lady.

Hahahahaha this is loving awesome

# ? Mar 22, 2017 14:29

Darkhold: Feb 19, 2011; No Heart❤️
No Soul👻
No Service🙅

Skratte posted:

Washing your hands feels and smells nice. It's pleasant. Unless you do it too much. Oh well!

My Husband (26m) said he would be fine if i (26f) died

BEEP BOOP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zn6gV2sdl38&t=100s

# ? Mar 22, 2017 14:31

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 14 days!

Zelder posted:

After reading this thread I'm beginning to think dignity and self esteem are some super powers that are afforded to very few

With great power comes great responsibility.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 14:48

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Always wash up after you blow your nose on yourself and slap your friends around with snotty booger hands. It's basic hygiene.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 14:57

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Bubblyblubber posted:

I pee directly in my hands to optimize my bathroom breaks/kink trips.

I [26/f] am having trouble dealing with/taking my boyfriends [25/m] "kink" seriously. It just makes me feel ridiculous. ◉ Locked Post ◉

Oh sure, you were all for it when it was your turn to be pissed on, but as soon as he wants to be called Goose and complimented on his flying chops you flake? Dick move, lady.

There's an obvious compromise here, and it's Mechacock targeting Slutzilla's weak point with the Ultraplug (Intel says she's weak to ammonia! ENGAGE THE HYDRO CANNON)

Splicer fucked around with this message at 15:21 on Mar 22, 2017

# ? Mar 22, 2017 15:15

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

I love how prudish she is about what sounds like benign role play while casually throwing around that she's into piss

# ? Mar 22, 2017 15:39

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Piss lady uses an entirely different meaning of the word "light" than I do, I think.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 15:40

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

Bubblyblubber posted:

I pee directly in my hands to optimize my bathroom breaks/kink trips.

You're supposed to piss in the sink, cmon this is basic stuff.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 15:42

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

quote:

I [27M] found out my girlfriend [28F] downloaded tinder recently to help with her 'insecure feelings' and her need for more attention.

My girlfriend Cara [28 years old] and I have been together exclusively for 5 months now. We originally started a friends with benefits situation 3 months prior to being exclusive. Our FWB kind of converted us into wanting to be in exclusive relationship with each other. Recently, when she was showing me some pictures on her iPhone, I noticed that she had tinder. Right away I confronted her on the situation, which led to us having a long talk about it.

Cara has always struggled with her own insecurities throughout her life, which involves her appearance, confidence, and own self worth. Over her early college years (early twenties), she spent time seeing her therapist to help get over these issues she has had. When both of us met, close to 8 months ago, this was never evident in her life whatsoever. In fact, she was more on the confident side then I had ever seen. So, when I confronted her about it, I was surprised that these issues had come up.

Cara gave me her phone and told me to open up the app. I was shocked to find so many matches, along with a TON of messages sent from other guys. What I found weird about it, was that she never sent any messages to any guys. All she got was compliments, "hello's", and dirty one line pickups. Cara was explaining to me that she has been down on her self confidence as of the last few weeks. She basically felt that getting compliments from random guys would help her overall self-confidence and self worth. I thought this was ludicrous.

Basically, Cara wants me to be understanding of her issues, and asks me not to worry. She told me that she would never cheat (emotional or physically) since she was cheated on in her prior two relationships. I find that this is a super weird way to get self confidence, and I consider this to be a major red flag and deal breaker. Cara has told me to try and help her get through her issues, and to not worry about this kind of thing.

Honestly, I'm at a loss here. Help?

tl;dr: I found out my girlfriend downloaded tinder recently to help with her 'insecure feelings', self loathing, self pity, and her need for more attention. I'm shocked about this...

# ? Mar 22, 2017 15:43

Barudak: May 7, 2007

areyoucontagious posted:

Piss lady uses an entirely different meaning of the word "light" than I do, I think.

Her definition is has lower production values.

Big O is also the perfect name for the fuckbot he pilots.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 15:45

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

54 40 or gently caress posted:

I love how prudish she is about what sounds like benign role play while casually throwing around that she's into piss

It's a photo finish but according to experts, pretending to be a robot anime when you gently caress is slightly more shameful than being pissed on.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 15:45

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Does dumping someone because of their insecure feelings cause more insecure feelings? Tonight one intreprid reporter investigates.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 15:46

Zelder: Jan 4, 2012

"My boyfriend has an active sneer on his face when he thinks of me, greets me every morning by spitting on my shoes, and has never even said a nice thing to me accidentally, what should I do?"

"Break up with him?"

"...how did you devise this brilliant plan of action"

# ? Mar 22, 2017 15:48

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Barudak posted:

Does dumping someone because of their insecure feelings cause more insecure feelings? Tonight one intreprid reporter investigates.

insecurity-ception.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 15:53

DrPlump: Oct 5, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

new phone who dis posted:

It's a photo finish but according to experts, pretending to be a robot anime when you gently caress is slightly more shameful than being pissed on.

He is actually from the future and just misses his mecha-pilot wife.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 15:53

Zelder: Jan 4, 2012

My girlfriend kicked clean through my sternum when i asked her to stop stealing money from my wallet and then hosed my dad while I bled out, can we make it work

# ? Mar 22, 2017 15:54

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

If you're a god damned 28-year-old woman and need to seek validation from other men please see a therapist

# ? Mar 22, 2017 15:55

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

My current relationship drama pales in regards to these but I'm not sure reading them puts me in a good place to deal with it.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 16:03

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

DrPlump posted:

He is actually from the future and just misses his mecha-pilot wife.

No, the mecha-pilot wife is from the future, it's like you've totally forgotten the plot of the documentary that depicted their relationship, Megas XLR.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 16:42

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Das Boo posted:

I wanna go nuclear every time I hear some idiot defending not wash their hands after handling their junk. I wish there were a scared straight program where you could take these chucklefucks through a hospital ward.
Or maybe just smear lady blood all over the knobs and door handles and tell them how it's cleaner than poo poo, so whatever.

Just don't poo poo and piss all over your hands?

# ? Mar 22, 2017 16:44

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

It's good to wash your hands regularly but it has nothing to do with touching your genitals. Your hands are much grosser than those, generally.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 16:48

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Moridin920 posted:

Just don't poo poo and piss all over your hands?

Your dingus can be fresh as a daisy, don't mean I wanna touch it.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 16:51

unpleasantly turgid: Jul 6, 2016; u lightweights couldn't even feed my shadow ;*

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

It's good to wash your hands regularly but it has nothing to do with touching your genitals. Your hands are much grosser than those, generally.

you wouldnt believe where it's been.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 16:54

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I just wear gloves everywhere so as not to touch this filthy reality.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 16:53

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

Barudak posted:

Her definition is has lower production values.

Big O is also the perfect name for the fuckbot he pilots.

God DAMMIT :argh:

# ? Mar 22, 2017 16:58

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Das Boo posted:

Your dingus can be fresh as a daisy, don't mean I wanna touch it.

Right but that's like, feelings. That doesn't make them unimportant, but if that were the only concern, it would suffice to make you believe I washed my hands. Whereas your hands are always touching things and thus a huge vector for disease and should be washed regularly to prevent human deaths from transmittable illnesses - that's a lot higher stakes.

Honestly I think it makes more sense to wash your hands before you pee than after. I'm starting a movement!!!

This conversation is irresistible to goons for some reason, and any thread on the forums, whether it's about hip-hop or mental health or ak-47s, will stop to engage with it.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 17:00

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Right but that's like, feelings. That doesn't make them unimportant, but if that were the only concern, it would suffice to make you believe I washed my hands. Whereas your hands are always touching things and thus a huge vector for disease and should be washed regularly to prevent human deaths from transmittable illnesses - that's a lot higher stakes.

Honestly I think it makes more sense to wash your hands before you pee than after. I'm starting a movement!!!

Have you tried chugging piss, my dude?

# ? Mar 22, 2017 17:01

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Piss is sterile anyway.

Wash your hands after you poo sure but pee? Quick rinse off is good enough for me.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 17:03

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Das Boo posted:

Have you tried chugging piss, my dude?

Only if you pretend it's a mecha leaking motor oil and qi into my mouth and you say stuff like houston-san, we have a problem.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 17:04

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 14 days!

Moridin920 posted:

Piss is sterile anyway.

Wash your hands after you poo sure but pee? Quick rinse off is good enough for me.

Given that Das Boo grew up in a place that suggests nearly everything was coated in a patina of diarrhea at some point I can understand why she's particular about cleanliness.

# ? Mar 22, 2017 17:04

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

lol if you haven't been tied up and forced to drink piss ever what are you guys even doing with your lives smdh

# ? Mar 22, 2017 17:06

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Panfilo posted:

Given that Das Boo grew up in a place that suggests nearly everything was coated in a patina of diarrhea at some point I can understand why she's particular about cleanliness.

This is true. My threshold for food is also "If it tastes okay and I'm not vomiting, it is good."

# ? Mar 22, 2017 17:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 02:08

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Skratte posted:

Washing your hands feels and smells nice. It's pleasant. Unless you do it too much. Oh well!

My Husband (26m) said he would be fine if i (26f) died

BEEP BOOP

How do I (22/F) tell my best friend (22/M) that his "pranks" are physically painful?Non-Romantic

It's just a prank, bro

droppin a real genuine :murder:

# ? Mar 22, 2017 17:12

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »