/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

ArbitraryC posted:

look I just wanna say people who don't have kids are weirdos and also they're double weirdos for bein a bit anxious about people callin em weirdos. the weirdos

yeah but at least I don't have kids :grin:

# ? Mar 29, 2017 07:17

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# ? May 15, 2024 14:20

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I don't have kids.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 07:47

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

I think once you have to invent a term to label your fandom/hatedom, you're in too deep.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 09:26

Kullik: Jan 5, 2017

Like most online communities Childfree is just an excuse to circlejerk and 1 up each about a specific topic a bunch of people kind of agree on, and thus certain people take it to extremes to try fit in. Even more than R/relationships or r/incels or any of those i doubt the stories told there are wholly truthful rather than just extremely embellished or entirely fabricated for upvotes due to being the most "rage inducing" or whatever.

I actually get that mindset quite well as it's pretty common in IT to talk to other IT guys who are all going at it to come up with the story of the "worst" client possible, hell even reddit has a forum for that in /r/talesfromtechsupport

Anyway gently caress having kids, im way too poor for that and my poor girlfriend doesnt need or want to go through with it.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 11:33

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

I don't have children.

Anymore.

Anyway, here's another dumdum:

Me[18F] with my BF [18M] of a couple weeks, said I "should go running", while we were intimate and I was naked. Relationships

quote:

23 points 34 comments submitted 3 years ago by throwawayyy7890 to r/relationships

So I've been dating this guy for a only a week or so, but we've been close friends for almost a year now. The other day, we were getting intimate (use your imagination). When we were almost done, he told me that I "should go running." I asked him why and he said "Because it's good for you."

I know there is the possibility of him meaning it in the most nonoffensive way, as in, running is good for your overall health. However, he said this while I was completely naked. So I think the only reason why that came to his head was because he thinks I'm fat.

I don't think I'm too fat. I'm around 5'9 and weight roughly 166 pounds. He's not the most fit guy either. Should I be offended or am I taking this the wrong way? I know that if I don't want to be called fat I should take the initiative to lose weight. However, I felt comfortable with the way I look, but now I feel insecure.

tl;dr: While I was naked, boyfriend said I should "go running" aka he called me fat.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 12:29

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

maybe he wanted to go running naked?

# ? Mar 29, 2017 12:46

Kullik: Jan 5, 2017

Lol what a dick
tbf though she probably ran out of stamina after like 1 minute and the sex was all his effort.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 12:54

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

edit: actually gently caress the childfree derail, boner confessor's lovely opinions aren't worth getting upset over

Whorelord posted:

maybe he wanted to go running naked?

I have to wonder if this is it, it seems like an awfully weird non-sequitur to drop when you're banging somebody

Mirthless fucked around with this message at 14:14 on Mar 29, 2017

# ? Mar 29, 2017 13:38

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

My girlfriend wants one kid, might be persuaded not to. I don't really want kids, but could possibly be persuaded to have one.

It's a hell of a situation.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 14:19

DrPlump: Oct 5, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

The breeders have already hosed us. Humanity will be dead in a couple generations. The Earth grows hotter every single year but we just keep using more and more CO2. Every child exacerbates the issue. Even if half the humans died tomorrow we would still have a runway greenhouse gas effect. Instead everyone will try their hardest to at least replace themselves and then some. Everyone thinks their children are special so when the Earth starts to flood and the displaced seek refuge everyone will start killing each other to protect "their children". Not having children does more for the future of humanity than any possible thing your crotch fruit will ever accomplish. Their lives are going to suck and then they will die painfully just like the rest of us.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 14:21

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

DrPlump posted:

The breeders have already hosed us. Humanity will be dead in a couple generations. The Earth grows hotter every single year but we just keep using more and more carbon. Every child exacerbates the issue. Even if half the humans died tomorrow we would still have a runway greenhouse gas effect. Instead everyone will try their hardest to at least replace themselves and then some. Everyone thinks their children are special so when the Earth starts to flood and the displaced seek refuge everyone will start killing each other to protect "their children". Not having children does more for the future of humanity than any possible thing your crotch fruit will ever accomplish. Their lives are going to suck and then they will die painfully just like the rest of us.

source your quotes

all of that is true though

# ? Mar 29, 2017 14:23

DrPlump: Oct 5, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

The Snoo posted:

yeah but at least I don't have kids

I have only heard Frozen's "let it go" like 8 times.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 14:23

DrPlump: Oct 5, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Bubblyblubber posted:

I don't have children.

Anymore.

Anyway, here's another dumdum:

Me[18F] with my BF [18M] of a couple weeks, said I "should go running", while we were intimate and I was naked. Relationships

Survey says:
24.5
Normal BMI

Conclusion:
Not Fat

# ? Mar 29, 2017 14:27

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

My girlfriend wants one kid, might be persuaded not to. I don't really want kids, but could possibly be persuaded to have one.

It's a hell of a situation.

Don't have kids if you need to be persuaded into having one. Some people just aren't meant to have children.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 14:34

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Das Boo posted:

I think once you have to invent a term to label your fandom/hatedom, you're in too deep.

Goons

# ? Mar 29, 2017 14:44

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Batterypowered7 posted:

Don't have kids if you need to be persuaded into having one. Some people just aren't meant to have children.

Seriously. Don't do it. If parenthood doesn't excite you find something that does.

for GOD'S SAKE, MAN, DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID

edit: right now she's expecting that at some point you will be thrilled and overjoyed to have a baby, which translates to you doing all the work. she thinks that if this set number of steps is followed correctly you'll somehow become the magic disney dude she needs for her life-plan to play out like a sitcom clip show & she will absolutely resent the living gently caress out of you when your normal-dude effort isn't enough to make parenthood anything but the living hell it is

# ? Mar 29, 2017 14:53

Kullik: Jan 5, 2017

So whats the difference between childfree and antinatalists. is this an "all X's are Y but not all Y's are X"" situation or what

# ? Mar 29, 2017 14:54

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Kullik posted:

So whats the difference between childfree and antinatalists. is this an "all X's are Y but not all Y's are X"" situation or what

"I don't want to have kids" vs "It is unethical to have kids", so yes.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 14:59

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

DrPlump posted:

The breeders have already hosed us. Humanity will be dead in a couple generations. The Earth grows hotter every single year but we just keep using more and more CO2. Every child exacerbates the issue. Even if half the humans died tomorrow we would still have a runway greenhouse gas effect. Instead everyone will try their hardest to at least replace themselves and then some. Everyone thinks their children are special so when the Earth starts to flood and the displaced seek refuge everyone will start killing each other to protect "their children". Not having children does more for the future of humanity than any possible thing your crotch fruit will ever accomplish. Their lives are going to suck and then they will die painfully just like the rest of us.

Nah, it's ok. Now that it's getting hotter, the Yautja sport hunting industry on Earth will really take off. Before too long, the human population will be healthily maintained like how we keep deer populations in check.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 15:22

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

Seriously. Don't do it. If parenthood doesn't excite you find something that does.

for GOD'S SAKE, MAN, DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID

edit: right now she's expecting that at some point you will be thrilled and overjoyed to have a baby, which translates to you doing all the work. she thinks that if this set number of steps is followed correctly you'll somehow become the magic disney dude she needs for her life-plan to play out like a sitcom clip show & she will absolutely resent the living gently caress out of you when your normal-dude effort isn't enough to make parenthood anything but the living hell it is

Jesus.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 15:24

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Gorilla Salad posted:

Goons

Exactly.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 15:40

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

TheScott2K posted:

Jesus.

if good intentions were a bus driver everyone would be plunging the gently caress off of cliffs 24/7. never marry an optimist.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 16:09

derra: Dec 29, 2012

it's not like actually having a kid stops the judging and bitching anyway. People are really weird about parenthood.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 16:12

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

derra posted:

it's not like actually having a kid stops the judging and bitching anyway. People are really weird about parenthood.

loving exactly, then it's all "you're not holding the baby right" "dont put the baby face-down in the crib it'll die of mumphis" "don't do sick vape tricks for youtube while yr holding the baby" "it doesnt matter that red bull is willing to sponsor your baby themed vape tour i want you home bored on the couch watching me drink tea" the worst thing about parents is being the only reasonable half of a two headed hydra of self loathing.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 16:16

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

Bubblyblubber posted:

I don't have children.

Anymore.

Anyway, here's another dumdum:

Me[18F] with my BF [18M] of a couple weeks, said I "should go running", while we were intimate and I was naked. Relationships

I guess sex hormones are like truth serum to this dude lol.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 16:19

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

TheScott2K posted:

Jesus.

Gorilla Salad posted:

Goons

# ? Mar 29, 2017 16:22

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Kullik posted:

So whats the difference between childfree and antinatalists. is this an "all X's are Y but not all Y's are X"" situation or what

Funko pop dolls and pizza bites

# ? Mar 29, 2017 16:46

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

loving exactly, then it's all "you're not holding the baby right" "dont put the baby face-down in the crib it'll die of mumphis" "don't do sick vape tricks for youtube while yr holding the baby" "it doesnt matter that red bull is willing to sponsor your baby themed vape tour i want you home bored on the couch watching me drink tea" the worst thing about parents is being the only reasonable half of a two headed hydra of self loathing.

lol

# ? Mar 29, 2017 16:52

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Folks in this thread hate their children and shall become future fodder for its contents. Feast upon your fathers, children!

# ? Mar 29, 2017 16:56

DrPlump: Oct 5, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Das Boo posted:

Folks in this thread hate their children and shall become future fodder for its contents. Feast upon your fathers, children!

Not having children and then being filled with regret later is still 1000 times better than the opposite.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 17:00

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

DrPlump posted:

Not having children and then being filled with regret later is still 1000 times better than the opposite.

Well yeah, adoption vs infanticide.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 17:04

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Having kids is awesome. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 17:08

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

*In out of breath voice after sex*

You should do jumping jacks.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 17:10

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

I found the one where polyamory is the least of their problems:

I [25F] am thinking about running away from my husband [32] whom I love, for his own benefit. We've been married 6 years and our lives are hosed. Breakups

quote:

18 points 39 comments submitted 3 years ago by RunawayMarriage to r/relationships
I'm an American living in Australia. I have a permanent residency visa. I've been married to an Australian man for 6+ years, am very much in love with him, and am thinking about leaving him for his own well being.

I have serious mental health problems, have been unable to find work in 6 years, am an extreme fetishist (while he is very vanilla, and thusly sex is incredibly strained and awkward). I have incredibly loose morals while he does not. Examples: I steal, am an excellent lier (though I don't lie to him) I'm a polyamourous pansexual, have had 10x the amount of sex partners he has, am an extreme sexual sadist (I don't express this towards him). I'm goth, atheist, don't want children, am fine selling myself for money, I'm bitter and angry and incredibly disillusioned with humans. I keep bringing pets home, and I don't keep the house as tidy as he thinks it needs to be. I'm suicidal and while I don't self harm, I self negelect.

I'm a loving handful for a HS teacher in his early thirties who wants to have a stable financial life and a handful of kids. And normal and semi-regular sex. We have over $70K of debt just from paying our bills. We don't live above our means in that we have a fancy home or cars (we have a cheap, poo poo car and the cheapest apartment we can afford). We don't go out to eat or buy expensive food. We see a cheap movie at the cinemas occasionally, but that's about all the money we spend on entertainment. We don't own expensive electronics or blow any money on drugs or booze. We don't smoke or eat tons of junk food, but we are in debt because I can't find a job.

So I'm thinking of running away from him. I loving love him so god damned much, but I am destroying his life. I know he will be sad and wrecked by my departure, but he'll get over it. He'll find someone his own age to marry, someone that has a job, someone that wants babies and sex and cleans his house to his satisfaction and he'll be okay.

Brisbane is a decent sized city with tons of backpackers. I can easily pack a bag and become a street walking homeless person. I am good at stealing things I need and don't care about sleeping on the street. It never dips below freezing here. I could also become a rent-girl as there is a large fettish community in Brisbane. I don't care about selling myself for money. I hate sex so doing it for money just seems more practical.

I believe staying with my husband is destroying his life. I need to leave him so he can make it better, but he refuses to divorce me. He told me last night that "we were meant to be together". This is wishy-washy BS and me being in his life is killing him. He doesn't deserve my bull poo poo.

tl;dr: I'm an American living in Australia. I've been married to an Australian man for 6+ years, am very much in love with him, and am thinking about leaving him for his own well being. He refuses to divorce me so I need to leave him so he can have a better life. Weather he likes it or not.

How the gently caress can you have this capacity for self reflection and still be such a gently caress up?

# ? Mar 29, 2017 17:11

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Bubblyblubber posted:

I found the one where polyamory is the least of their problems:

I [25F] am thinking about running away from my husband [32] whom I love, for his own benefit. We've been married 6 years and our lives are hosed. Breakups

How the gently caress can you have this capacity for self reflection and still be such a gently caress up?

this lady has so many hosed up problems and perceptions wrt sex

she needs to seek therapy maybe before running out on her husband "for his own good". I don't disagree with her assessment, but it's pretty clear he's willing to haul through her bullshit. Is self improvement and therapy really harder than living in homeless shelters and having sex with strangers for a living?

# ? Mar 29, 2017 17:14

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

quote:

I'm a polyamourous pansexual, have had 10x the amount of sex partners he has, am an extreme sexual sadist (I don't express this towards him). I'm goth, atheist, don't want children, am fine selling myself for money, I'm bitter and angry and incredibly disillusioned with humans. I keep bringing pets home, and I don't keep the house as tidy as he thinks it needs to be. I'm suicidal and while I don't self harm, I self negelect.

Want this on my tombstone

# ? Mar 29, 2017 17:14

gentle pete: Feb 21, 2015; by Nyc_Tattoo

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Want this on my tombstone

All this leads me to this trouble Ive been expereiencing with my network card � I am unable to find the drivers for it.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 17:18

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

I feel like we need a murder smilie that's directed at the OP for cases like this.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 17:19

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

Bubblyblubber posted:

I found the one where polyamory is the least of their problems:

I [25F] am thinking about running away from my husband [32] whom I love, for his own benefit. We've been married 6 years and our lives are hosed. Breakups

How the gently caress can you have this capacity for self reflection and still be such a gently caress up?

Because you are reveling in it.

# ? Mar 29, 2017 17:19

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# ? May 15, 2024 14:20

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

I wonder what she does with the pets when she gets bored with them. Someone who just "brings pets home" is not someone I want taking care of anything important to me, ever

# ? Mar 29, 2017 17:25

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