TRUMP116: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP116: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

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Tonetta: Jul 9, 2013; look mother look at ME MOTHER MOTHER I AM A HOMESTIXK NOW

**methodically removes and eats own clothes*

blamegame posted:

on twitter wheree else
https://twitter.com/IAHouseGOP/status/847279971122913281

I love that Twitter has turned into a political platform due to are gay baby piss pres

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:46

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 13:06

limp dick calvin: Sep 1, 2006; Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.

FAUXTON posted:

So when Ken Bone said human submarines he meant ones filled with dead sailors.

This x files episode is gettin heavy

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:46

Big Fat Iguana: Aug 21, 2016; remember. and never lie.

a real chump posted:

that toilet right next to the kitchen counter was a chilling twist i was not expecting

i had to turn it off after that

You missed the frozen steak tittering on the rim of the filthy toilet with a flaming burning paper towel under it

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:49

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Rubber Tucky posted:

"I already told you! I can't go to the sales convention with Karen! I'M MARRIED! Yes, I know Karen is gay. Why are you calling HR?"

when i was doing sexual harasssment/sesntivity training for warner bros, the same harassment training execs had to take along with jerkoffs lik eme, one of the vidoes was basically:

Narrator: "John and Lana go out on a business trip together. After their convention they decide to go out for a meal to celebrate their success. Watch the following scene and pay attention so that you can answer the multiple choice questionairre afterward."

John: "Wow. That one guy was crazy. But I think we had a pretty productive day!"

Lana: "I know! Wow, it's great working with you John. Do you mind if I share something with you?"

John: "What? You can tell me anything Lana."

Lana: "I just think, you know, Mexicans are filthy. I think you're cool enough that I can tell you this."

John (Internal Monologue): "I am not comfortable hearing this."

Narrator: "Please refer to question 32. What did Lana do wrong in this situation?"

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:48

Donkwich: Feb 28, 2011; Grimey Drawer

FAUXTON posted:

So when Ken Bone said human submarines he meant ones filled with dead sailors.

you sunk my battleship

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:49

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

ayooooo so ium like 99% sure I got this job rite

which is 150% my current salary and I'd be in charge of my department instead of being a part timer in it

oh and it's a job I love and a company I could see myself becoming very loyal to (it's all been retail until now and lmao if ur dumb enough to be loyal to a retail employer)

only I haven't signed anything yet but it's been approved by 2 tiers of HR and my boss' boss

I thikn I may be in some good poo poo hurr nite crew, pray for me bc it's out of my hands now. In theory it's all 100% but I don't trsut nuthin unless I sign on the dotted line yaknow

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:49

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

eonwe posted:

Comey pissed me off with that hillary release, but I'm really growing to admire him

also Senate Intel committee

try not to okay? because Comey is a Republican and they're capable only of hatred and anger and destruction and terror and literally are incapable at a fundamental level of anything good or constructive or Christian

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:50

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Epic High Five posted:

ayooooo so ium like 99% sure I got this job rite

which is 150% my current salary and I'd be in charge of my department instead of being a part timer in it

oh and it's a job I love and a company I could see myself becoming very loyal to (it's all been retail until now and lmao if ur dumb enough to be loyal to a retail employer)

only I haven't signed anything yet but it's been approved by 2 tiers of HR and my boss' boss

I thikn I may be in some good poo poo hurr nite crew, pray for me bc it's out of my hands now. In theory it's all 100% but I don't trsut nuthin unless I sign on the dotted line yaknow

Don't be loyal to an employer ya boob, it ain't 1957

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:51

Fix: Jul 26, 2005; NEWT THE MOON

a real chump posted:

even if that dude misspoke, in his retarded brain he understood the policy as what he said it was and agreed with it lmao

She.

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:51

Olga Gurlukovich: Nov 13, 2016

Epic High Five posted:

ayooooo so ium like 99% sure I got this job rite

which is 150% my current salary and I'd be in charge of my department instead of being a part timer in it

oh and it's a job I love and a company I could see myself becoming very loyal to (it's all been retail until now and lmao if ur dumb enough to be loyal to a retail employer)

only I haven't signed anything yet but it's been approved by 2 tiers of HR and my boss' boss

I thikn I may be in some good poo poo hurr nite crew, pray for me bc it's out of my hands now. In theory it's all 100% but I don't trsut nuthin unless I sign on the dotted line yaknow

glhf smoke weed (after you get the job/tested/whatever)

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:53

HycoCam: Jul 14, 2016; You should have backed Transverse!

Tainen posted:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rdnQ0nO3AcY

I should know better by now. You don't need to click every link. Some times it is better not to know...

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:52

limp dick calvin: Sep 1, 2006; Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.

Epic High Five posted:

ayooooo so ium like 99% sure I got this job rite

which is 150% my current salary and I'd be in charge of my department instead of being a part timer in it

oh and it's a job I love and a company I could see myself becoming very loyal to (it's all been retail until now and lmao if ur dumb enough to be loyal to a retail employer)

only I haven't signed anything yet but it's been approved by 2 tiers of HR and my boss' boss

I thikn I may be in some good poo poo hurr nite crew, pray for me bc it's out of my hands now. In theory it's all 100% but I don't trsut nuthin unless I sign on the dotted line yaknow

I'm happy for you dogg. gently caress retail

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:52

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Epic High Five posted:

ayooooo so ium like 99% sure I got this job rite

which is 150% my current salary and I'd be in charge of my department instead of being a part timer in it

oh and it's a job I love and a company I could see myself becoming very loyal to (it's all been retail until now and lmao if ur dumb enough to be loyal to a retail employer)

only I haven't signed anything yet but it's been approved by 2 tiers of HR and my boss' boss

I thikn I may be in some good poo poo hurr nite crew, pray for me bc it's out of my hands now. In theory it's all 100% but I don't trsut nuthin unless I sign on the dotted line yaknow

gl bro. stay there fora year or two and learn some skills and pad your resume

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:53

Baloogan: Dec 5, 2004; Fun Shoe

anime was right posted:

whats your av from

kill la kill

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:53

Mr. Meagles: Apr 30, 2004; Out here, everything hurts

Not a Children posted:

Don't be loyal to an employer ya boob, it ain't 1957

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:56

Fuckt Tupp: Apr 19, 2007; Science

https://twitter.com/marcburleigh/status/847304695525683202

drip

drop

drip

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:55

MadJackal: Apr 30, 2004

Epic High Five posted:

ayooooo so ium like 99% sure I got this job rite

which is 150% my current salary and I'd be in charge of my department instead of being a part timer in it

oh and it's a job I love and a company I could see myself becoming very loyal to (it's all been retail until now and lmao if ur dumb enough to be loyal to a retail employer)

only I haven't signed anything yet but it's been approved by 2 tiers of HR and my boss' boss

I thikn I may be in some good poo poo hurr nite crew, pray for me bc it's out of my hands now. In theory it's all 100% but I don't trsut nuthin unless I sign on the dotted line yaknow

Good job! You've earned it!

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:57

Solarin: Nov 15, 2007

Epic High Five posted:

ayooooo so ium like 99% sure I got this job rite

which is 150% my current salary and I'd be in charge of my department instead of being a part timer in it

oh and it's a job I love and a company I could see myself becoming very loyal to (it's all been retail until now and lmao if ur dumb enough to be loyal to a retail employer)

only I haven't signed anything yet but it's been approved by 2 tiers of HR and my boss' boss

I thikn I may be in some good poo poo hurr nite crew, pray for me bc it's out of my hands now. In theory it's all 100% but I don't trsut nuthin unless I sign on the dotted line yaknow

close the deal communicating your love of trucking and loving with the CEO

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:58

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

anime was right posted:

whats your av from

http://killsixbilliondemons.com/

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:58

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

Bilirubin posted:

http://killsixbilliondemons.com/

Its also an accurate commentary on my posting.

Nemaste.

# ? Mar 30, 2017 05:59

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Epic High Five posted:

ayooooo so ium like 99% sure I got this job rite

which is 150% my current salary and I'd be in charge of my department instead of being a part timer in it

oh and it's a job I love and a company I could see myself becoming very loyal to (it's all been retail until now and lmao if ur dumb enough to be loyal to a retail employer)

only I haven't signed anything yet but it's been approved by 2 tiers of HR and my boss' boss

I thikn I may be in some good poo poo hurr nite crew, pray for me bc it's out of my hands now. In theory it's all 100% but I don't trsut nuthin unless I sign on the dotted line yaknow

is this a trucking and loving company

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:00

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

Not a Children posted:

Don't be loyal to an employer ya boob, it ain't 1957

homie you know I know what ur sayin, and when I was in retail this was 100% my creed, but I'm in public education now and in a well-supported IT position and I'm feeling incredibly loyal considering what getting this position means in terms of people believing and trusting in me

Solarin posted:

close the deal communicating your love of trucking and loving with the CEO

My advantage, and how I get jobs that require a 4 year despite having less than a year of college, is that I interview insanely well.

The truckin and fuckin' enthusiasm is implied, the best thing it can be

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:00

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

#1 thing I'm putting my new salary toward if I get the job is primarying every Dem who votes for GorSUCJKS

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:02

MadJackal: Apr 30, 2004

Internet Webguy posted:

https://twitter.com/marcburleigh/status/847304695525683202

Neat!

I'm just so happy that there are so many threads to tug at for this Trump-Russia story. Every day is another chance to wake up to the final straw which causes our tangerine con man to resign!

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:03

Dr_0ctag0n: Apr 25, 2015; The whole human race
sentenced
to
burn

Epic High Five posted:

homie you know I know what ur sayin, and when I was in retail this was 100% my creed, but I'm in public education now and in a well-supported IT position and I'm feeling incredibly loyal considering what getting this position means in terms of people believing and trusting in me

My advantage, and how I get jobs that require a 4 year despite having less than a year of college, is that I interview insanely well.

The truckin and fuckin' enthusiasm is implied, the best thing it can be

I'm in the same boat. Like 99% sure I'm going to be moving up to double my current salary and get free certs and a raise with each one.

Only problem is this new place will probably randomly drug test and my rear end has smoked err day for like 10 years so it's been hell trying to kick the habit. I plan on using it to finally get my resume padded nicely then gtfo to a company that doesn't believe a racist drug policy determines who is eligible to work.

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:04

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

interviewer looks in my left eye, looks slightly confused, was that a word in that pupil? was it really TRUCKIN?

later on, investigates right eye. No way that was the case, did it really say FUCKIN? must've been a mirage or a psychological thing

then theyu look into both eyes and once and it's like

naw homie

truckin and fuckin is life and u no it

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:04

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

cumshitter posted:

when i was doing sexual harasssment/sesntivity training for warner bros, the same harassment training execs had to take along with jerkoffs lik eme, one of the vidoes was basically:

Narrator: "John and Lana go out on a business trip together. After their convention they decide to go out for a meal to celebrate their success. Watch the following scene and pay attention so that you can answer the multiple choice questionairre afterward."

John: "Wow. That one guy was crazy. But I think we had a pretty productive day!"

Lana: "I know! Wow, it's great working with you John. Do you mind if I share something with you?"

John: "What? You can tell me anything Lana."

Lana: "I just think, you know, Mexicans are filthy. I think you're cool enough that I can tell you this."

John (Internal Monologue): "I am not comfortable hearing this."

Narrator: "Please refer to question 32. What did Lana do wrong in this situation?"

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:05

a.lo: Sep 12, 2009

pillsburysoldier posted:

https://twitter.com/ProgressIowa/status/847262252600184834

Somebody needs to be punished

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:06

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

Dr_0ctag0n posted:

I'm in the same boat. Like 99% sure I'm going to be moving up to double my current salary and get free certs and a raise with each one.

Only problem is this new place will probably randomly drug test and my rear end has smoked err day for like 10 years so it's been hell trying to kick the habit. I plan on using it to finally get my resume padded nicely then gtfo to a company that doesn't believe a racist drug policy determines who is eligible to work.

Same for me but no drug testing at all, noice

Will get tuition assistance and just a whole crapload of various benefits. No raise for certs but they are a huge benefit to diagonal promotions like are so common in universities

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:06

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

Epic High Five posted:

ayooooo so ium like 99% sure I got this job rite

which is 150% my current salary and I'd be in charge of my department instead of being a part timer in it

oh and it's a job I love and a company I could see myself becoming very loyal to (it's all been retail until now and lmao if ur dumb enough to be loyal to a retail employer)

only I haven't signed anything yet but it's been approved by 2 tiers of HR and my boss' boss

I thikn I may be in some good poo poo hurr nite crew, pray for me bc it's out of my hands now. In theory it's all 100% but I don't trsut nuthin unless I sign on the dotted line yaknow

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:08

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

in celebration have a video or maybe more if I deign to grace y'all with'em

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmsTwQb1csc

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:07

NecroMonster: Jan 4, 2009

Bilirubin posted:

http://killsixbilliondemons.com/

everyone read this btw.

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:08

a.lo: Sep 12, 2009

Epic High Five posted:

ayooooo so ium like 99% sure I got this job rite

which is 150% my current salary and I'd be in charge of my department instead of being a part timer in it

oh and it's a job I love and a company I could see myself becoming very loyal to (it's all been retail until now and lmao if ur dumb enough to be loyal to a retail employer)

only I haven't signed anything yet but it's been approved by 2 tiers of HR and my boss' boss

I thikn I may be in some good poo poo hurr nite crew, pray for me bc it's out of my hands now. In theory it's all 100% but I don't trsut nuthin unless I sign on the dotted line yaknow

thanks to Trump!

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:09

Strom Thermos: Sep 18, 2004

A messy apartment is much like a city. Oops, knocked my steak onto the hen bathroom floor from the toilet rim nbd

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:10

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

Epic High Five posted:

interviewer looks in my left eye, looks slightly confused, was that a word in that pupil? was it really TRUCKIN?

later on, investigates right eye. No way that was the case, did it really say FUCKIN? must've been a mirage or a psychological thing

then theyu look into both eyes and once and it's like

naw homie

truckin and fuckin is life and u no it

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:11

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

a.lo posted:

thanks to Trump!

just ofr this sass i shall punish yee with a song sure to sitck aorund in ur head

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCNQ2mc_Zzc

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:12

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

Epic High Five posted:

Same for me but no drug testing at all, noice

Will get tuition assistance and just a whole crapload of various benefits. No raise for certs but they are a huge benefit to diagonal promotions like are so common in universities

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:13

crazy cloud: Nov 7, 2012; by Cyrano4747; Lipstick Apathy

blamegame posted:

mccain.gif

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:12

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

Squizzle posted:

how tall is that hoop

how big dat ball

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:13

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 13:06

crazy cloud: Nov 7, 2012; by Cyrano4747; Lipstick Apathy

Yinlock posted:

like they just keep pushing this to more and more absurd extremes because they don't actually know what it is they objected to and are just going by how mad LIBS are

you're giving them too much credit; they're pushing this to more and more absurd extremes because this is what they really believe is best for america lol

# ? Mar 30, 2017 06:14

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP116: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUz9xCTOPRw

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