/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Kids these days, in my day sonny, in my day, decapitation was a bad thing and that's how we liked it!

You never got head? Like, at all?

# ? Apr 6, 2017 09:49

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# ? May 14, 2024 09:54

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

I've never been to Serbia.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 10:11 on Apr 6, 2017

# ? Apr 6, 2017 10:07

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

It's so alien.

TLTLDR: that's a decapitation scene apparently

On top of it being completely and totally disgusting torture porn, people like to defend it because it's ~true message~

# ? Apr 6, 2017 10:09

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

whatever nerds sometimes people get off on the essence of danger not actually being in real danger themselves

# ? Apr 6, 2017 10:15

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Jeff Sichoe posted:

whatever nerds sometimes people get off on the essence of danger not actually being in real danger themselves

He says with a smirk, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth during the scene where a guy rapes his six year old

# ? Apr 6, 2017 10:27

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

I actually dislike goreporn (etc...) movies but in saying that I understand why peeps like em

# ? Apr 6, 2017 10:29

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Pick posted:

I believe in old-school mourning. No "remember me with a party", fun times, jokes, etc. A funeral should be sad as hell, provided the deceased was any good in life.

i fully expect my wife to throw herself on my funeral pyre when i'm sent to valhalla i don't know about you guys

Mirthless fucked around with this message at 13:36 on Apr 6, 2017

# ? Apr 6, 2017 13:19

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

54 40 or gently caress posted:

He says with a smirk, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth during the scene where a guy rapes a newborn baby to death

loving run.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 13:43

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

I considered using that example instead but just didn't want to write it out. Any person who asks if their partner wants to act out "a couple scenes" from that movie should be taken behind the shed and put down like ol yeller

# ? Apr 6, 2017 14:31

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

A Serbian film is loving trash and any "message" it had is lost in torture porn and events that are so over the top absurd that they play out like a cannibal corpse song without the irony. Its garbage any i watched it once and was simply in awe of how terrible it was.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 14:45

FormerPoster: Aug 5, 2004; Hair Elf

WoodrowSkillson posted:

A Serbian film is loving trash and any "message" it had is lost in torture porn and events that are so over the top absurd that they play out like a cannibal corpse song without the irony. Its garbage any i watched it once and was simply in awe of how terrible it was.

So you're saying you don't want reenact any of it during sex?

# ? Apr 6, 2017 14:56

Mameluke: Aug 2, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

It came from the FYAD hagiography in VICE thread;

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/polyamorous-people-tell-their-worst-breakup-stories

quote:

My husband and I have been open for seven years now, and we met a married couple about three years ago. My husband started dating the wife, and I started dating the husband. We were a kind of four-plex. But as their marriage broke down, my relationship with her husband started breaking down, and his wife and I ended up breaking up with the poor guy a day apart.

What a sadsack

# ? Apr 6, 2017 15:43

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

They should open the relationships even more, put some more people in there, get right up in all them guts, form a googolplex of sweaty loving.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 15:47

wilderthanmild: Jun 21, 2010; Posting shit; Grimey Drawer

I like that there is no mention of the other wife and her husband breaking up so that guy got a pretty cool deal in the exchange.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:01

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

It's so alien.

quote:
he didn't have many friends or leave the house partly because he relocated here and partly because he's asocial.

TLTLDR: that's a decapitation scene apparently

I wonder why

E: loving seriously going from "hey let's watch a comedy and probably hook up 15 minutes in like normal people" to "you mentioned having seen A Serbian Film, so here's a multiple choice question: the most sexually arousing part of the movie is _______:
A. Rape
B. Torture
C. Murder
D. Combinations of all of the above

My answer is E: reenactment of D"

I Was The Fury fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Apr 6, 2017

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:23

Buzkashi: Feb 4, 2003; College Slice

If you are motivated to post about this particular story, write your post out before un-spoilering the ages and then add your reaction/context thereafter.

Me 29F with my boyfriend [28M] of two months, I asked his friends to spy on him for me, was I in the wrong?

quote:

My boyfriend and I have been in the same social circle for years and chatted casually, but we started dating two months ago. He is very shy and lives with his mom. He doesn't have a job, but I have been filling out applications for him and made him a resume. I feel very protective over him and he is almost like a little brother to me.

A few weeks ago he started pulling away from me. Usually we had sex about 5 times a week, but he said he didn't feel like having sex because he was tired. I was not believing it because he literally stays home most of the day and only leaves to hang out with me or his friends. I decided to ask his friends (which are mostly my friends since we are in the same circle and I went to college with 2 of his friends) to record some of their conversations secretly when they went out. One of them messaged me an audio file of the conversation and my boyfriend was talking about feeling "smothered" by me and that he doesn't find me exciting anymore. I became very depressed. I asked my friends to record him a second time and they said no. Two days later my boyfriend confronted me because I guess they told him I requested a secret tape of what he said. He tried to break up with me but I said I would probably kill myself from depression if he left me and he said we would have the conversation later when I am less upset. He hasn't responded to my texts or anything. I drove to his house early this morning at 5am and his mother said he is not home but I knew it was a lie. Usually she lets me come in but she refused to let me enter the house even when I said I needed to check my boyfriend's computer (which I paid for).
tl;dr: I had no choice but to ask my friends to spy on my boyfriend, he found out and is mad at me, am I wrong?

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:28

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Finally, we get to see the insane persons version of the story.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:29

Theotus: Nov 8, 2014

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:31

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Buzkashi posted:

I asked my friends to record him a second time and they said no.

Ahahaha owned

Quoting revealed the ages, and wowza :popeye:

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:31

ZearothK: Aug 25, 2008; I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

Barudak posted:

Finally, we get to see the insane persons version of the story.

To be honest, I feel they are both insane given how passive that guy is about his life.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:32

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

Is she his mom's age? I bet she's his mom's age.

Or they're both in their 50s

E: oh. So they're both just loving losers. I'm pretty disappointed.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:34

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

I Was The Fury posted:

Is she his mom's age? I bet she's his mom's age.

Or they're both in their 50s

E: oh. So they're both just loving losers. I'm pretty disappointed.

I was picturing Principal Skinner

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:39

FormerPoster: Aug 5, 2004; Hair Elf

Most of the stuff in r/confession is pretty boring, but holy poo poo, sometimes you get a live one

Ejaculated on my grandmother's face.

quote:

One night when I was 13/14 my grandmother had come to visit us. She slept in my bed and I slept on the couch. At this point in my life, pretty much every night I would wait for everyone to go to sleep and then I would jack off. Even though I was on the couch, I still decided to do it. For some reason, in my horned-up state, I got really turned on by the idea of ejaculating on my grandmother's face. So, without really thinking, I went into my room and while she was still asleep I quietly jacked off next to her and then finished on her cheek/neck area.

After I finished I left as quickly and quietly as I could and went back to the lougeroom. I have no idea if she knows what I did. This happened a decade ago and I still hate myself every time I think about it. I don't know what I was thinking.

tagged: Remorse

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:43

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Welp

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:44

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

German Goo Grannies

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:44

Faffel: Dec 31, 2008; A bouncy little mouse!

Kill all penises

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:45

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

mods please change my name to grandson facial

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:45

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

Oh my god

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:47

Barudak: May 7, 2007

And we have our winner of the 2017 Shinji Ikari award.

Barudak fucked around with this message at 16:58 on Apr 6, 2017

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:47

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Dude was just trying to help g.ma get into a moisturizer routine. What a good jerkin' boy.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 16:56

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Lol "tried to break up with me." Apparently George Costanza's girlfriend was right: a breakup is like launching a nuclear weapon; you both havve to turn the key.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 17:11

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

I [20F] don't know what to do about my friend [21F] and it's killing me inside. (possible trigger)

quote:

I feel like one of my best friends is doing something horrible, and at the same time I feel like a terrible friend for not supporting her.
A few months ago, one of my best friends (we'll call her Sarah) broke up with her long-term boyfriend (we'll call him Jake). A few weeks later, she explained to me that he had repeatedly raped her during their relationship. I was horrified and did everything I could to support her, but then she explained to me exactly what he did.
I knew that they had differing sex drives and I guess she would turn down a lot. The thing is, Sarah said that he would get really pouty when she turned him down and he would basically give her the cold shoulder for the whole next day if she said no when he wanted sex. Sometimes, Sarah would give in and consent to sex just to avoid his sulking. That's it. That's her whole story.
What's freaking me out is that she's told a few other people in our social group that Jake raped her. No details, just that he raped her. And now the story is starting to spread around all our mutual friends and everyone is saying that Jake raped Sarah. Again, no details, just that he raped her.
I feel like I have to say something, but I'd be everything I ever hated if I took sides with a rapist over a survivor. It's just that I don't think what he did was rape. It's childish and lovely, but I seriously don't feel like this should be called rape. Jake is catching some fallout from Sarah's accusations spreading around and I seriously feel terrible for him. Even if he was a douche, it just seems so unfair that everyone's calling him a rapist and people are starting to uninvited him from stuff.
Please give me some advice. I have two questions:
1.Am I wrong for thinking that it's ridiculous to call this rape?
2.What do I do about this? I don't want to betray my friend, but I feel like I have to do something about this. Maybe not tell people that she wasn't raped, but at least explain what actually happened and let them decide for themselves whether they think it was rape.
Help please. I just don't know what the right thing to do is.
tl;dr: Friend is accusing her ex of rape for what I feel is a ridiculous reason, and I don't know if should speak up or not.

Top comment had a great idea.

quote:

Here is how to play this. Right now, this is all social circle rumors. What you do is pick one person in the social group to tell the truth to. Make your selection carefully. Make it someone who is a good communicator and will tell at least one other person. Choose a calm, steady, and trustworthy person. That's all it will take for the rumor mill to start discussing the truth among themselves. Then, once the story has made it's rounds, and it will quickly, then you can confirm what you know and clear his reputation.
If you make some kind of grand stand or go tell multiple people, you are going to be the one taking the heat and being debated. There is no need for that. Let the friends talk and argue it out amogst themselves. Pretty quickly they will realize dude is innocent and you can confirm then.
Also, drop your "friend" like a hot potato. She'll only cause unnecessary harm to come to you, if you keep her around.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 17:12

Buzkashi: Feb 4, 2003; College Slice

My friend didn't explicitly use the word "coercive" to describe her situation and it's killing me inside

# ? Apr 6, 2017 17:15

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

My [24M] girlfriend [24F] has sent an explicit picture of me to her friend without my consent. How to proceed?

quote:

I'll preface this by saying that I am absolutely no angel as you will find out but this is the situation that we're now in.
So, my gf was staying over at my place recently and had gone to work with a view to returning after she had finished to pick up her stuff. This stuff included a tablet computer. Being the terrible person that I am I decided to have a quick look to see if it was unlocked. It was. I had thought it would be passcode protected since I had heard her mention it before but for some reason I was able to gain access to it.
We have a good relationship in the sense that we get on well and don't argue. We have been going out for about 6 months which isn't all that long, I know. I have sometimes suspected that things she would say were not always truthful. She is a person that never seems to be at fault when it comes to talking about the failures of her previous relationships and prides herself on the fact she never lies and plainly says that she hates liars and this is why her past relationships have broken down.
Now and again she will send me snapchats and messages of the sexting variety. I do not really reciprocate on a graphical nature because to me a dick is a dick and once I've sent a picture of that I don't really have anything else to work with. Nevertheless she was all about seeing it so I obliged and sent a picture of said dick. Though I am not without fault I would never show anyone else any pictures she has sent me no matter what she said or did to me. I expected the same courtesy in return and this was my opportunity to test that expectation.
I know I should not snoop and I don't condone it but I did it. I don't regret it and I'd do it again because I find something important. I would be pissed off if someone did it to me which is why I have password protected all my devices for as long as I can remember to combat this. I don't believe in the whole 'if you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to fear' thing. I think it is perfectly healthy to have secrets as long as they aren't vicious or problematic secrets which hurt other people.
Anyway, I snooped. I looked through some messages sent between my gf and her best friend and after not too much scrolling I saw my own dick. I wasn't hugely shocked to be honest since I had suspected that this sort of thing may happen. The things being said about my dick were actually pretty good so it wasn't absolutely awful but that was not the point. In a bid to not sound like a pompous rear end I must say that my dick is absolutely average, God knows what dicks they have seen if they deem mine to be one of the finest around.
So basically, how do I proceed? She 100% knows that I did not want the picture shown to anyone else but still did it anyway. It's a huge breach of trust in my eyes and something which I would absolutely never do. Obviously the big issue is I snooped which is also a huge breach of trust albeit one which was vindicated because I found what I found.
tl;dr Gf sent pic of my dick to her friend without my permission, I only found out because I snooped. What shall I do?

Multiple comments saying he's the bad guy for snooping and that it's no big deal because it's just a dick.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 17:20

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Buzkashi posted:

If you are motivated to post about this particular story, write your post out before un-spoilering the ages and then add your reaction/context thereafter.

Me 29F with my boyfriend [28M] of two months, I asked his friends to spy on him for me, was I in the wrong?

I initially thought "Oh, she thinks of her boyfriend as her brother, that is the creepiest thing ever."

And then it just kept getting worse.

The "He tried to break up but then I told him I'd kill myself" comes off as so calculated and manipulative.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 17:22

NoneMoreNegative: Jul 20, 2000; GOTH FASCISTIC
PAIN MASTER

shit wizard dad

Just to say Buddy's reply here reminded me of this thread :o:

# ? Apr 6, 2017 17:24

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

Buzkashi posted:

If you are motivated to post about this particular story, write your post out before un-spoilering the ages and then add your reaction/context thereafter.

Me 29F with my boyfriend [28M] of two months, I asked his friends to spy on him for me, was I in the wrong?

quote:

tl;dr: I had no choice but to ask my friends to spy on my boyfriend, he found out and is mad at me, am I wrong?

i had NO CHOICE but to secretly record my boyfriend talking trash about me

both these people are awful and deserve one another

e: ok I just noticed the part where she drives to his house at 5 am and his mom wouldn't let her in this woman's extra nuts

the bitcoin of weed fucked around with this message at 17:29 on Apr 6, 2017

# ? Apr 6, 2017 17:27

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

Dienes posted:

I initially thought "Oh, she thinks of her boyfriend as her brother, that is the creepiest thing ever."

And then it just kept getting worse.

The "He tried to break up but then I told him I'd kill myself" comes off as so calculated and manipulative.

I've had an ex pull this on me multiple times which is why I now tell all people I enter relationships with that I expect them to call the cops on me if I ever threaten suicide and that I will do the same.

# ? Apr 6, 2017 17:34

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I Was The Fury posted:

I now tell all people I enter relationships with that I expect them to call the cops on me

same

# ? Apr 6, 2017 17:37

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# ? May 14, 2024 09:54

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Nazzadan posted:

My [24M] girlfriend [24F] has sent an explicit picture of me to her friend without my consent. How to proceed?

Multiple comments saying he's the bad guy for snooping and that it's no big deal because it's just a dick.

Lmao I love language use in posts like these

"Now and again she will send me snapchats and messages of the sexting variety. I do not really reciprocate on a graphical nature "

It's even better on legaladvice posts when OP is trying to sound like they know law terms

I Was The Fury posted:

I've had an ex pull this on me multiple times which is why I now tell all people I enter relationships with that I expect them to call the cops on me if I ever threaten suicide and that I will do the same.

Do you make them sign a contract?

# ? Apr 6, 2017 17:46

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