/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

I'm sure he'll assimilate into the culture just fine and before you know it he'll be dead in an internet cafe chair after a lol marathon

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:01

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 22, 2024 15:52

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

corn on the cop posted:

How loving low is your self-esteem, lady

the dude is 36

he's too old for this

i mean, literally, he is like ten years too old to be competitive at esports. your reflexes just aren't loving good enough at that point. There's a reason so many pro gamers are young

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:11

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Blue Train posted:

I'm sure he'll assimilate into the culture just fine and before you know it he'll be dead in an internet cafe chair after a lol marathon

Nothing like a happy ending.

quote:

Me [25 M] with my GF [24 F] 4 years. She agreed with her boss to get tattoos togetherRelationships
submitted 15 hours ago by GreenHat01
This is not a huge issue, but I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive.
My girlfriend is working in a very relaxed environment where she and her coworkers often go out for a beer after work. Her boss is more of a friend than a boss to all of them, but he is a bit more so with my GF than the rest. I've met him once when I joined for a night out, and he seems like a nice guy. I am not uncomfortable with their friendship.
After a night out, she came home and told about a drunken agreement they made to have tattoos made. The idea was that they each decide what tattoo the other gets. Her boss is heavily tattooed so I wouldn't put it past him to actually not give a poo poo. She had told him to get her name next to burger, and he wanted her to get a small smiling skull.
While it seem like they both consider it harmless fun, I find it a bit too personal. For all I care, she can have whatever amount of tattoos she likes, but I don't think she should take part in having her name tattooed on another guy. I just feel like it's a "couples tattoo", and I would hate to see "their permanent connection" on her every time she undresses. She agreed to respect my feelings, but doesn't see it the way I do.
Am I being unreasonable here?
tl;dr: GF and boss decided to get (what I consider) a couple's tattoo. Not sure if I'm overreacting.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:12

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Still tomato:

quote:

Me [23M] with my gf[23F] of 2 years, she ate mackerel in tomato 2 hours before our sexy time

It was our 2 year anniversary last night. We went shopping, and went to an awesome restaurant, before we headed home to a bed with rose petals and champagne. We've talked about how we should have sex the whole night, even planned various activities. She decides to eat mackerel in tomato right after the restaurant visit, resulting in a horrific breath making me unable to kiss her. We ended up fighting.

Is this silly?

TL:DR Fought with gf on anniversary cause she ate mackerel in tomato and got a horrific breath, she was mad i didnt want to kiss her

This next post brought to you from the Lettuce Dimension:

quote:

Me [32 M] with my girlfriend [31 F] of 4 years, she's a foodie and hates that I'm a picky eater

So my girlfriend is sort of a self-proclaimed foodie, and even a lot of people in our social circle acknowledge her as such.

I've always been a pretty picky eater. I get my burgers plain with cheese... I can't stand tomatoes or lettuce or mayo even touching the burger or it's basically ruined for me. Asking me to just "take off the tomato and lettuce" from a burger is an ultimate sin. Look, you just aren't going to get the taste of lettuce or tomato off your bun/meat just by taking it off... the taste is still there and it makes me want to retch.

So anyway, I have told my girlfriend this, and she is fully aware. I specifically do not like lettuce, so this excludes most salads. I do not like the flavor or texture of tofu, and I also do not like the texture of sushi... I've tried all of these many times throughout my life, and I have never liked any of it.

So I tell her this also... but she's a foodie, so she wants me to try everything... EVERY TIME. She orders some tofu dish. "hey, try this" and my response is "you know I hate tofu, I've told you before". She then just gives me "the look" and then gets into a sort of bad mood for a short time over it.

I've debated with her about this every time and she always insists I try it. "well you haven't tried THIS version yet, maybe you will like it"

She can eat basically anything... she only does not like a very select few foods. I even try to use this in my argument saying "if I asked you to eat [ food she doesn't like ] you wouldn't try it either.

I'm honestly not sure how to solve this problem. Why can't she just let me eat what I want? It even goes as far as where we'll both order a different meal... I'll be totally into my meal, and then she offers me a bite of her meal... which I'm not really in the mood for. If I decline, she goes sour and makes a fuss about it. If I eat it, I risk the chance of throwing my palate off for the rest of my own meal... essentially ruining it for me.

How can I tell my gf that enough is enough? It's like she wants me to be this adventurous foodie when I'm perfectly content eating what I know I like. I'm up for trying NEW things, but not things that I've already established as gross. Am I in the wrong?

I mean this isn't a relationship dealbreaker. The rest of our relationship is pretty fantastic... but this is ruining my meals out with her because it comes up pretty frequently.

tl;dr: GF is a foodie, I'm not. She wants me to try things I have told her I do not like. How do I get her to stop trying to change my palate?

quote:

Considering I have ordered fast food burgers, taken a bite from them and tasted the lettuce flavor, only to see that it was because there was a shred of lettuce in the wrapper that touched the bun... yeah I would say it's not just me thinking I taste something.

I swear you could hand me two pieces of bread. One that had lettuce touching it for several minutes, and one that did not... and I guarantee I can tell you which one had lettuce touching it just by the taste alone.

I never understood the "just take it off" reasoning... It's not like lettuce exists in it's own dimension. Food flavors meld together. You can't hand me a burger that has had lettuce warming inside of it for the past 5 minutes, then tell me to remove the lettuce like the bun hasn't soaked up lettuce flavor.

Just like you can't wipe mayonnaise off a sandwich and think that is acceptable enough to eat as a "no mayo" sandwich.

Funny little story...

One time when I was a kid my mom ordered a chicken sandwich "no mayo" for me at a drive thru. We got the food and the sandwich of course had mayo on it. She handed it back and told them "no mayo" she then saw one of the workers scraping the mayo off. When the person at the window handed her back the sandwich, she said "thank goodness, my child is deathly allergic to mayonnaise".

You'll never see a fast food worker snatch back a sandwich so fast. "Oh I'm sorry ma'am, let me just double check that sandwich again"

It's disgusting. Don't hand me the same sandwich after scraping off the condiment. That's just lazy and wrong.

A burger ruined by a small shred of lettuce in the wrapper. Not in the burger itself. Just clinging to the wrapper, contaminating the bun forever.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:13

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Haifisch posted:

Still tomato:

This next post brought to you from the Lettuce Dimension:

A burger ruined by a small shred of lettuce in the wrapper. Not in the burger itself. Just clinging to the wrapper, contaminating the bun forever.

"the taste of lettuce"

let me repeat that, because it's so loving absurd

"the taste of lettuce"

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:14

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Burger boy should kill himself

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:16

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

I think that qualifies as a mental health issue and needs treatment. Or this person is just too weak for life and deserves to starve to death.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:19

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

quote:

So I tell her this also... but she's a foodie, so she wants me to try everything... EVERY TIME.

She's taking this manchild out to restaurants and such even when he never fails to bitch about it. I think I love her.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 05:26 on Apr 11, 2017

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:19

Tiny Deer: Jan 16, 2012

No, I understand where lettuce boy is coming from. Once a fast food worker put lettuce on my ham sandwich and I cried so hard my dad locked me in the car until everyone else was done eating.

On the other hand, I was five years old. U fuckin man baby eat a lettuce

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:21

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

I'll be totally into my meal, and then she offers me a bite of her meal... which I'm not really in the mood for. If I decline, she goes sour and makes a fuss about it. If I eat it, I risk the chance of throwing my palate off for the rest of my own meal... essentially ruining it for me.�

SHE WANTS TO RUIN MY MEAT AND CHEESE ON A BUN

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:21

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

One of my biggest fights was jokingly insisting that celery had a flavor and some midwestern moron insisting it doesn't.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:23

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Basically all of his replies are gold, too:

Lettuce Man posted:

The way I described stuff in my post isn't how I would talk out loud to a host or anything lol. I definitely just politely decline food I'm not interested in.

The thing about ruining my meal... Yeah, it ruins my meal. Here's the thing... I go into a meal all ready to enjoy this tasty dish I selected. Then she throws me this curveball fork full of disgusting. So the moment I eat it, I'm disgusted. I lose my appetite. Simply rinsing my mouth out doesn't tell my brain that I just ate something nasty. Now I'm looking at my food and can't even enjoy it because my brain just shut down it's taste bud department.

I don't cause a scene or anything. We've had this happen enough to where I just say "no thanks" now, and she just gives me the same look of disapproval. Every now and then when she is really insistent, she will ask me several times, and then I have to explain why I don't want to try it, etc.

quote:

I might be exaggerating a bit. Yeah okay, I'm not like nearly on the verge of vomiting for the next hour... but I just honestly don't want to eat something gross when I'm trying to enjoy something good.

That would be like me asking you to eat a spoonful of glue and sand mixed together while you're enjoying your favorite meal. Yeah you can just rinse out your mouth with water... but food is partially about the overall experience, and I'm sure you don't want to be thinking about having to eat a spoonful of sand/glue, tasting that, then having to get the taste out of your mouth... instead of just enjoying the delicious meal you selected.

quote:

It definitely can be limiting. Typically she wants to eat at places not local because most of the local stuff is standard. She wants to drive farther to go to the more "exotic" restaurants. Basically she really doesn't like eating basic American stuff.

quote:

"Is it possible you were allowed to be picky as a kid and not made to try new things, and now you've developed this aversion to things that most people grow out of?"

Definitely possible. I was super picky as a kid. I've grown out of a lot of that, but honestly there will just be some foods I don't like the taste of... that's what makes us all individual. Different tastes.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:24

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Thirty two years old

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:27

Modus Pwnens: Dec 29, 2004

Mirthless posted:

"the taste of lettuce"

let me repeat that, because it's so loving absurd

"the taste of lettuce"

Lettuce has a strong taste to me. I used to hate it, now I love it.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:27

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Holy poo poo. This is a reassurance to me, cause I like plain burgers too but if there's some lettuce/tomato/whatever on there I'm perfectly happy to just take it off and eat.

But lettuce is like the least offensive thing! I mean, tomato leaves some juice behind but lettuce does nothing.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:28

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Modus Pwnens posted:

Lettuce has a strong taste to me. I used to hate it, now I love it.

I was gonna say I can taste both lettuce and celery

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:29

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

lettuce has a taste, even garbage iceberg lettuce, even though that taste is often just dirt from improper washing. but if that extremely mild flavor ruins your meal then you have Problems

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:31

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I eat a head of cabbage just walkin around. It's good poo poo.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:32

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Cabbage owns

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:35

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Blue Train posted:

Burger boy should kill himself

burger can resemble labia. I wouldn't feel comfortable with such a hippy-rear end chick either way.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:35

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

This is a case for Maury then Judge Judy to split the poo poo in their trailer

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:36

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Pick posted:

I eat a head of cabbage just walkin around. It's good poo poo.

I hope he starves alone forever, personally. I can eat like 6 foods due to my hilarious immune system and people who eat cheesy potatoes exclusively drive me insane.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:36

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Apparently he loves eating octopus.

Pretty sure he's actually an alien.

He also thinks coleslaw is made of lettuce and mayo.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:38

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

He also thinks coleslaw is made of lettuce and mayo.

well, it can be, in the same way that sex can be a joyless obligation to demonstrate your manhood by relentless jackhammering like you're digging fenceposts

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:44

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

yes i knoq what a post holer is its a metaphor ok

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:45

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

boner confessor posted:

well, it can be

how the gently caress do you gently caress up midwestern cooking this badly, it's already innately the failure to cook

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:47

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

how the gently caress do you gently caress up midwestern cooking this badly, it's already innately the failure to cook

as in all culinary horrors, we can blame england for adding cream to cabbage and vinegar salad

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:50

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Elsa posted:

burger can resemble labia. I wouldn't feel comfortable with such a hippy-rear end chick either way.

god damnit Elsa :cripes:

boner confessor posted:

lettuce has a taste, even garbage iceberg lettuce, even though that taste is often just dirt from improper washing. but if that extremely mild flavor ruins your meal then you have Problems

yeah I mean I know that lettuce technically has a flavor but how loving crazy do you have to be to insist that the "flavor" of slightly grassy water is so foul to you that it overpowers everything else you're eating?

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:50

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Jesus, it's actually something people do.
I'm a filthy brit goon (for now) so I didn't even know that was a thing.

boner confessor posted:

as in all culinary horrors, we can blame england for adding cream to cabbage and vinegar salad

Sorry about that. You should see what we do to hotdogs. It's just wrong.

quote:

I'm (F/20) scared to tell my best friend (F/22) I lost my virginity and how she would judge me and react.Non-Romantic
submitted 8 hours ago by Southpaw098
On March 18th this year, I lost my virginity to my 8 month boyfriend (M/25). I don't regret it. It was beautiful, wonderful and we feel much emotionally closer to each other.
However, this was not the plan. When I was 13, my best friend and I made a pact to wait until we were married out of personal and religious reasons. We were so adamant and judged every person who didn't wait. Fast forward, and we both got our first boyfriends around the same time. I continue to be in a LDR while she is with her BF every day. We share every detail - including the intimate ones. When I was telling her how waiting until marriage now seemed like an impossible feat, she basically told me it's my strength she holds on it. She said if I'd give in, she would and that's why I can't give in. Well, I gave in!
It's now April 11 and I'm terrified to tell her in fear of being judged and having her get upset. The reason this fear is exemplified is because I told my other very close friend who knew of my desires of waiting. She lost her virginity 3 years ago in the same situation since she wanted to wait too. Well, when I told her, she got pissed at me and actually started crying..... that made me that much more scared to tell my other friend.
However, both my friend and my boyfriend told me that I need to tell my best friend as soon as possible because the longer I wait, the more likely she'll be more upset.
I'm not sure what to do. On one hand, I'm scared of her reaction. And on the other hand, I'm scared she'll give up her virginity if I tell her I did since she said my strength of waiting is her strength and I don't want to be the reason she gives it up. I'd rather her succeed until the end.
TL;DR Lost my virginity to my boyfriend after being so adamant of waiting until marriage. My friend is the same way and tells me I'm her only strength and if I ever gave up my virginity, she would too. I'm scared of telling her and her reaction since my other friend got mad and cried when I told her (even though she isn't a virgin lol) and I don't want my best friend to react worse or break her promise just because I did.

What is this millenial bullshit

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 06:11 on Apr 11, 2017

# ? Apr 11, 2017 05:51

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

Mirthless posted:

god damnit Elsa

lol sorry!

here

# ? Apr 11, 2017 06:09

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Elsa, just stick to the drawings.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 06:11

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Pick posted:

One of my biggest fights was jokingly insisting that celery had a flavor and some midwestern moron insisting it doesn't.

this triggers me because I'll eat almost anything but raw celery (and cucumbers) just taste wrong in my mouth. I don't even mind their flavor if they've been cooked but it's like eating soap or something otherwise, and I like almost every other obscure food/dish out there you can think of.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 06:11

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Sugoi!

# ? Apr 11, 2017 06:11

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Elsa posted:

lol sorry!

here

# ? Apr 11, 2017 06:14

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

ArbitraryC posted:

this triggers me because I'll eat almost anything but raw celery (and cucumbers) just taste wrong in my mouth. I don't even mind their flavor if they've been cooked but it's like eating soap or something otherwise, and I like almost every other obscure food/dish out there you can think of.

i love cucumbers

when I was younger my mother used to tell this amusing tale of a guy chastising a woman for ordering a "whole plate" of steamed broccoli off-menu. turns out that didn't start as an "amusing" story, and it was about her, about how a guy gave her poo poo for ordering steamed broccoli off-menu. rich people kill themselves tyfl

# ? Apr 11, 2017 06:16

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Sliced up tomatoes and cucumbers with salt and pepper yum

# ? Apr 11, 2017 06:17

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

I like pickles, I even like cucumber flavored water or w/e, but cucumbers in my salad are something I will either pick out or eat and silently hate the server for depending on context.

# ? Apr 11, 2017 06:17

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

i can't do cucumber at all, something about the cool flavor makes me (literally) gag. it's the only vegetable that does this to me. It's not even like a squash thing, I'll eat Zucchini all day long. It's bad enough that I can't enjoy a california roll. If I make them myself I'll usually sub the cucumber for asparagus.

tomatoes are loving great though and I regret all the years I passed on eating them out of a weird food hangup because they can improve a whole fuckload of things by being there

# ? Apr 11, 2017 06:33

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

As a kid I hated tomatoes and and onion and now I can straight up eat em raw like a donkey

# ? Apr 11, 2017 06:38

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 22, 2024 15:52

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

I gag on cucumbers too

# ? Apr 11, 2017 06:45

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »