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Tiny Deer
Jan 16, 2012

Yeah the friend is an rear end in a top hat, that's how you give totally normal children neurosis about their weight.

Even if she was a fatty fat fatty you don't call a twelve year old names. If someone called my kid an ugly little bastard I'd be pissed even if I knew it was true and my child was actually of the Innesmouth blood. You're an adult, don't be a bully.

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Barudak
May 7, 2007

I think that depends, if someone called my child a gore hound of sickening visage Id probably be pretty flattered.

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

Barudak posted:

That may be average but its not how it works out in practice. If youre a woman under 25 and over 110 you are a fatty fat fatty mcfatterson.

For sake of anecdote reference I'm 5'11 and at 175 pounds and had to get custom clothing made because they literally did not have clothes for someone as "fat" as I am.

ooof, that's awful. :cripes:

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post
Am I really alone on this? I think I'm a villain in a movie

quote:

I don't know what's wrong with me.
First most I [24F] love my boyfriend [33M] more than anything in this world. We've been dating for 5 years now. I've always felt that he is my soulmate. Since the beginning. We click so well together. I'm truly deeply in love with him. I just get this amazing feeling. Everyone around us consider us "relationship goals" or whatever the trend is. Last year we had our first child together. She will be six months in a couple weeks. Things are different now but I still feel the same way about my husband. What I'm getting at is that in a span of two weeks all that has changed. I can't stop thinking about another man [37]M. It's a man I met at work who just makes me feel like no one else has. Not even my boyfriend. It's a different feeling. I think it's lust. It's pure physical. I crave him. He's married as well but we exchanged numbers and we flirt a bit. I want to have sex with this man. I've put it out of my mind as much as I could but because of it my sex drive has been through the roof. I haven't cheated but I've had sex with my boyfriend thinking about this other man. I want the impossible. To be single for a week or two, have sex with him to get it out of my system, and then get back with my boyfriend as if nothing happened. I keep telling myself that there's no way I could cheat. I could never hurt our relationship like that. But it's getting so hard not to give in. Especially since I'm too much for my husband sexually. He doesn't want to do it as often as me. He's not satisfying me and I don't know what to do. The only thing really stopping me from even cheating at this point is this other man. I think he has felt guilty talking to me since he's married as well. I don't think he would go through with it and it makes me feel so frustrated. The flirting has stopped.

I feel like the worst human on earth. I've gotten to the point where I want to seduce this other man, have sex with him. I don't care about his wife. I wouldn't tell my boyfriend what I did. I just can't believe I'm having thoughts like this. It's so unlike me. I blame post partum hormones. I used to wonder why a person would cheat in a relationship. It's so hurtful. But now I feel like I'm a bad guy in a movie. Like a villain. I just don't care who gets hurt I have to have this man. What's wrong with me? I just needed to let this out because I'm a piece of poo poo and there's no way I could confide this to anyone. gently caress. I tried to make this short as possible.
TL;DR i want to cheat on my boyfriend and I don't care who gets hurt.

Lady has a type I guess

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬
Why does nobody stand up for their kids? Did mom publicly say anything when rear end in a top hat called her daughter a heifer?

I would rather be teased for being 'hypersensitive' as an adult for calling someone out on their insult then just stand there :downs: while someone makes fun of my daughter.

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post

Panfilo posted:

Why does nobody stand up for their kids? Did mom publicly say anything when rear end in a top hat called her daughter a heifer?

I would rather be teased for being 'hypersensitive' as an adult for calling someone out on their insult then just stand there :downs: while someone makes fun of my daughter.

She probably just stood there chewing her cud and staring off into the distance with her big brown eyes.

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

Wtf is with you people and giving a poo poo about a difference in ages? They are all adults

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

La Brea Carpet posted:

Am I really alone on this? I think I'm a villain in a movie


Lady has a type I guess

This post comes across like she's trying to convince herself that she does't have any other choice but to sleep with this guy

Maybe she's being a little villainous but her husband is a creep, is it really a bad thing when the head villain's #2 backstabs him in the closing scene of the movie?

Blue Train posted:

Wtf is with you people and giving a poo poo about a difference in ages? They are all adults

it's because, in nearly every one of these stories, the dude turns out to be a man-child, a control freak, a pervert, or all of the above.

most adults prefer to date relatable people. if you only relate to people much younger than you, or you don't want to date relatable people, that's generally a character flaw.

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

#mood

Drunk Nerds posted:

Serious answer, even though you're obviously being pedantic. Adding salt at the beginning of the recipe, so that all the tastes infuse evenly throughout, is of course fine. Adding salt in a way that makes vegetables and meats taste salty, like at all, is some American obesity epidemic-causing B.S.

Salt doesn't cause obesity.

WoodrowSkillson
Feb 24, 2005

*Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Blue Train posted:

Wtf is with you people and giving a poo poo about a difference in ages? They are all adults

because of the reliably predictive indicator it is that the relationship will self destruct, often because the older partner is looking for a younger one due to immaturity

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost


There, according to mybodygallery that's a 5'2" woman at 120 lbs. Out of your guys' leagues for sure.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

wotta heifer

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

Salt doesn't cause obesity.

well you see good tasting food is ADDICTIVE and therefore salt is exactly crack cocaine when it comes to obesity

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post

Blue Train posted:

Wtf is with you people and giving a poo poo about a difference in ages? They are all adults

Because she has been with this guy her whole adult life and despite having a child with him, is thinking of imploding it all over the hot delivery guy at work. She never had a chance to date around or have different adult partners so all of a sudden she's craving some strange dick. The husband rolled the dice on this happening when he dated a 19 year old girl at the age of 28.

Somehow, in a delicious twist of fate, the man she wants is even older than her current boyfriend.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

La Brea Carpet posted:

Am I really alone on this? I think I'm a villain in a movie

No, you are a minor character who kicks off the main plot in an intergenerational family drama which will lead to an academy award nomination for best supporting actress to the woman playing the guys wife.

Tiny Deer
Jan 16, 2012

Panfilo posted:

Why does nobody stand up for their kids? Did mom publicly say anything when rear end in a top hat called her daughter a heifer?

I would rather be teased for being 'hypersensitive' as an adult for calling someone out on their insult then just stand there :downs: while someone makes fun of my daughter.

Seriously. Maybe I'm weird but if I am responsible for bringing another whole human being into existence and raising them to adulthood, that is an enormous obligation I have created to this new person to protect and nurture them.

Plus if anyone insults your kid they're really just insulting you, it's not like your kid gets their gross face and disgusting habits from anyone else. We're a hideous and repulsive family together :colbert:

Ouhei
Oct 23, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

La Brea Carpet posted:

Am I really alone on this? I think I'm a villain in a movie


Lady has a type I guess
Why does she keep swapping terms of boyfriend and husband?

Mirthless posted:

This post comes across like she's trying to convince herself that she does't have any other choice but to sleep with this guy

Maybe she's being a little villainous but her husband is a creep, is it really a bad thing when the head villain's #2 backstabs him in the closing scene of the movie?


it's because, in nearly every one of these stories, the dude turns out to be a man-child, a control freak, a pervert, or all of the above.

most adults prefer to date relatable people. if you only relate to people much younger than you, or you don't want to date relatable people, that's generally a character flaw.
How the hell is the husband a creep? He's barely mentioned in the post at all, unless I missed something?

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Ouhei posted:

Why does she keep swapping terms of boyfriend and husband?

How the hell is the husband a creep? He's barely mentioned in the post at all, unless I missed something?

It's because he is a little bit older. Mirthless logic for you.

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post

Ouhei posted:

Why does she keep swapping terms of boyfriend and husband?

In her post history she posted the same story in a different subreddit but called him her husband. She's calling him her boyfriend to make it seem like she's slightly less of a terrible person for wanting this.

She posted mainly looking for someone to tell her to gently caress the hot dude.

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

#mood

Mirthless posted:

well you see good tasting food is ADDICTIVE and therefore salt is exactly crack cocaine when it comes to obesity

I know you're joking but let me Mirthless on a Mirthless post for a hot second:

The ACTUAL REASON White Americans are so got dang unable to season their food is due to rationing during the great depression/dust bowl. The state aid agencies providing food relief believed that spices increased feelings of hunger, so bland foodstock was chosen and accompanying recipes downplayed the role of spices and seasonings, leading to huge swaths of the country completely devoid of any cultural cooking history tied to local ingredients (which are sod, or extinct) or generally much sense when it comes to food in general.

American cuisine basically went through a society-wide meltdown and has only very recently, in very select parts of the country, began to recover.

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

Ouhei posted:

Why does she keep swapping terms of boyfriend and husband?

How the hell is the husband a creep? He's barely mentioned in the post at all, unless I missed something?

It's because he started dating a 19 year old when he was 28

automatically a creep, sorry

Tender Bender
Sep 17, 2004

La Brea Carpet posted:

Am I really alone on this? I think I'm a villain in a movie


Lady has a type I guess

This sounds like it was written one handed by the work guy.

DragQueenofAngmar
Dec 29, 2009

You shall not pass!
*starts to salivate at the thought of the inevitable few-pages-on meltdowns*

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

I know you're joking but let me Mirthless on a Mirthless post for a hot second:

The ACTUAL REASON White Americans are so got dang unable to season their food is due to rationing during the great depression/dust bowl. The state aid agencies providing food relief believed that spices increased feelings of hunger, so bland foodstock was chosen and accompanying recipes downplayed the role of spices and seasonings, leading to huge swaths of the country completely devoid of any cultural cooking history tied to local ingredients (which are sod, or extinct) or generally much sense when it comes to food in general.

American cuisine basically went through a society-wide meltdown and has only very recently, in very select parts of the country, began to recover.

They invented the cultural hellscape of the midwest?!

Mameluke
Aug 2, 2013

by Fluffdaddy

Leon Einstein posted:

It's because he is a little bit older. Mirthless logic for you.

just loving lol that you have arrived on page nine hundred and fifteen of the r/relationships thread without internalizing how bad age gaps are

like do you even read

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Mameluke posted:

just loving lol that you have arrived on page nine hundred and fifteen of the r/relationships thread without internalizing how bad age gaps are

like do you even read
That's not really some egregious gap though. Sure, it is probably doomed to failure because of it, but I don't think it makes the guy automatically a creep.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Anagram of GINGER
Oct 3, 2014

by Smythe

Leon Einstein posted:

That's not really some egregious gap though. Sure, it is probably doomed to failure because of it, but I don't think it makes the guy automatically a creep.

you know that game gently caress marry kill

you don't marry the 19 yr old.

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

#mood

Pick posted:

They invented the cultural hellscape of the midwest?!

yah i'm not dredging anything up on google but there was an occasional recipe bulletin put out by like Uncle Sam's Wife or George Washington's Girlfriend or some "Feminine Archetype" to teach all these new prairie moms what to do with beans, cuz you can't just give people food they've never seen before without teaching them how to use it. it was released by the same relief agency giving the food.
anyway thanks for reading me half-remember a thinkpeice.

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

I think it's worse in the US instead of Europe because I think culturally we raise very immature people up until the age of 22. College is essentially really loving expensive 4 year summer camp for a large majority of the population.

Mirthless
Mar 27, 2011

by the sex ghost

Leon Einstein posted:

That's not really some egregious gap though. Sure, it is probably doomed to failure because of it, but I don't think it makes the guy automatically a creep.

...It's a nine year age gap and they started dating when she was 19. What the gently caress counts as an egregious gap to you?

Mameluke posted:

just loving lol that you have arrived on page nine hundred and fifteen of the r/relationships thread without internalizing how bad age gaps are

like do you even read

Leon's been pretty consistent on this viewpoint at least which makes me kind of wonder about what kind of relationships he is typically in

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
Like I said, it's most likely doomed to fail, but why are you focusing on the guy being creepy rather than the woman lusting heavily after her coworker? Victim blame much?

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

Leon Einstein posted:

Like I said, it's most likely doomed to fail, but why are you focusing on the guy being creepy rather than the woman lusting heavily after her MARRIED coworker? Victim blame much?

She has a child and is willing to wreck 2 marriages to get laid. Maybe he's a creep but she's an idiot also.

monkeytennis
Apr 26, 2007


Toilet Rascal

Mirthless posted:

It's because he started dating a 19 year old when he was 28

automatically a creep, sorry

Well both consenting adults so, erm, nope, not necessarily.

I don't get the threads obsession with age gaps either.

Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012

"From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.
Buglord

monkeytennis posted:

Well both consenting adults so, erm, nope, not necessarily.

I don't get the threads obsession with age gaps either.

Two consenting adults doesn't automatically make it good or not creepy

the bitcoin of weed
Nov 1, 2014

La Brea Carpet posted:

Am I really alone on this? I think I'm a villain in a movie


Lady has a type I guess

age gap or no age gap, this woman has post-partum horniness and her partner isn't willing or able to give her what she wants (a good dick to imprison her)

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
"Two consenting adults" is the "I'm not racist, but" of horrible perverts.

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

She has a child and is willing to wreck 2 marriages to get laid. Maybe he's a creep but she's an idiot also.
But there has been zero indication that he's a creepy, controlling, and immature manchild. That's the problem with most age gap relationships; it's not the actual numbers that are offensive.

Ouhei
Oct 23, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

Mirthless posted:

...It's a nine year age gap and they started dating when she was 19. What the gently caress counts as an egregious gap to you?

Woman posts to reddit about how she desperately wants to gently caress a married guy despite being married with a kid herself and you fucklechucks are all "well you see it's a 9 year gap, so the guy is a creep and deserves to be cheated on, hurr hurr".

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Tiny Deer
Jan 16, 2012

:ssh: the age gap is relevant because she's trying to gently caress out her daddy issues.

Source: have daddy issues, tried to use sex with older men to fix them, was idiot.

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