- Lockback
- Sep 3, 2006
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All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
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That post seems to be aimed at you so uh?
Huh? Blue Train was being skeptical about what the mom heard, so it was in agreement.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:14
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 16, 2024 16:48
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- CharlestheHammer
- Jun 26, 2011
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YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
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Huh? Blue Train was being skeptical about what the mom heard, so it was in agreement.
Well I mean it ends with being skeptical is pointless so maybe it's just poorly thought out.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:16
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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yeah he's extremely anxious to let everyone know how 'skeptical' he is that there's anything to be concerned about in what would be textbook child molester activity even without any of the overheard dialogue at all
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Apr 11, 2017 22:17
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- Theotus
- Nov 8, 2014
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Pull up, thread.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:19
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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Pulling up!
My [28f] mother [57f] is really, really mad at me for moving overseas and 'abandoning' my disabled brother [23m].
quote:
Pretty much what the title says. My husband [29m] got a job at a prestigious university in the UK, so we're leaving our east coast US city for at least three years, with the possibility to extend for a total of eight years, and the slimmer possibility of husband being offered a permanent job there. My mother has reacted very poorly to this turn of events, because she believes that by moving, I'm abandoning my brother.
Some backstory on my brother: he has autism, intellectual disability, and epilepsy. His IQ is about 70; he can memorize entire movies, but he can't cross the street safely. My parents moved heaven and earth to get him behavioral therapy when he was a kid, back when ABA was almost entirely unknown. They've done a fantastic job by him; he's verbal, he can work simple jobs, and he participates in lots of extracurricular activities (sports, theater, etc.). He lives in a state-run house with 24 hour awake care because of the severity of his seizures. Assuming the current government doesn't make good on their threat to turn Medicaid into block grants, he will be able to keep that housing for the rest of his life. That said, he still spends weekends with my parents. They claim that the weekend staff isn't as good as the weekday staff (which I believe), and they like to take care of the little stuff that the house staff doesn't (clipping his nails, things like that). Currently, my mother and I share legal guardianship, for some complicated legal reasons relating to his previous housing setup (when he turned 18, my dad was the adult fostercare provider and couldn't be a guardian), and also because it was assumed that one day I would be his legal guardian, so we might as well have me be one from the start, because it would be more difficult to add me later on (this last point will be important later).
The current issue: my mother is very upset that I'm moving to a different country. When my husband and I first told her about it, her immediate reaction was that I was going to have to relinquish my guardianship of bro. Not, "congratulations!" or "what an adventure!," but, "Well, you'll have to give up guardianship of Bro". Since we told her, she's slowly stopped calling me (we used to talk weekly, if not daily, but now she never calls me, even if she has a question--she'll go through my dad instead). Whenever I spend time with her just by myself, and the move comes up (which, of course it does, husband and i are REALLY excited for this opportunity), she immediately gets sad and tells me that it's breaking her heart that I'm doing this, that I have to move back to their city when our time was up, and what were she and my dad going to do about Bro if we stayed in the UK? Recently, she's started getting more bitter, telling me that if I move I'm not even going to be Bro's real sister, and that she's disappointed in how little of a relationship we have and are likely to have in the future. She refuses to be excited for us, and refuses to talk with me about the positives of living there. I've been accepted into a PhD program at said prestigious university, and she won't even talk to me about it--every time I bring it up, she drives the conversation back to my brother.
I've tried to communicate with her about my perspective on this--I've told her that I don't want to give up my guardianship, that until we know for sure that we're not coming back it wouldn't be a big deal for me to keep it just in case. She got testy and said that my dad deserved his guardianship (which I agree with!), and that both guardians have to be present in a locality anyway because they have to cosign all documentation and be present at all medication meetings, etc. Now, I've rarely cosigned documentation and I haven't been present at any medication meetings, so when I asked Mom if Dad was going to be present every time she signed a paper for Bro's house, she got really nasty and told me to stop being rude, even though it was just a simple question. Any time I point out that logistics are not as challenging as she thinks she is, she dismisses me or tells me to stop being rude. It's made it very hard to have a conversation with her about any of this.
The real thing she's stressed about is if husband and I don't eventually land in the city where she and Dad and Bro currently live. Even if we don't stay in the UK, husband's field is very competitive, and he's probably going to have to take a job outside of our city in order to stay in his field. My mother just wants him to go into industry (of which there's a lot in our city), and doesn't understand why that would be a completely different career than what he currently does. I've asked her if she thought I was going to stay in our city forever, and she said, well why not, it's got lots of jobs! It's weird for her to be so short-sighted about this, she's usually very good at planning for future eventualities. Not this time, apparently.
The last time we spoke about all of this, I burst into tears and begged her not to be mad at me for moving, and she said she wasn't mad, she just didn't think I would be a real sister for my brother if I left. Which was so incredibly painful to hear. I told her that husband and i had researched possibilities for moving Bro to be with us, once both parents are gone, and she told me that there were ways to keep me from doing that after their death. That's right. She was so set on my Bro staying where he is that she threatened to remove all legal power over him from me to some random state-assigned person once she and Dad are dead. Because that would be better for his health and care than working to make a plan with his living sister.
The truth is, husband and I don't necessarily want to come back to America. He's an EU citizen, and I'll be getting my EU citizenship next year. We view Europe as a better place to raise a family, and while we're reserving judgment until we've spent some years there, we going to do what's best for our kids--which is exactly what my mom did for my brother! But she doesn't see it that way. We've already investigated, and it would be possible to move Bro to be near us in the UK once my parents have passed. We would have to fund him for 5 years (which we would be financially prepared to do, with inheritance from my parents, and emotionally prepared to do, because we do love my brother, whatever my mom says), and then he would have recourse to state funds. I told her this, but she just told me that I was "wrong," as if I hadn't spent hours on gov.uk researching the topic.
Oh, and the cherry on top is that my family moved every 2-3 years until I was in high school, all over the country. So she can't even claim that our family has never left our area or that moving for career purposes is a bad thing, because that's what our family did for over two decades.
tl;dr: my mom is furious that i'm moving away, is not only refusing to celebrate our successes but has also shut down her relationship with me (but denies to my face that she's mad at me when asked directly), has threatened to legally remove me from my brother's life if I don't comply with her demand to move back to our city, and has said extremely hurtful, untrue, unnecessary things in an attempt to get me to change my future behavior. I've tried to talk with her calmly, but nothing has helped. Where do I go from here?
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Apr 11, 2017 22:19
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- Tiny Deer
- Jan 16, 2012
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yeah he's extremely anxious to let everyone know how 'skeptical' he is that there's anything to be concerned about in what would be textbook child molester activity even without any of the overheard dialogue at all
After telling us about being falsely accused as a child molester, though, and taking him at his word I can see why he's inclined to defend this guy if he doesn't believe it's possible to hear things through open windows.
It's still a very bad look, Blue Train. Abort while you can.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:20
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- Theotus
- Nov 8, 2014
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It's not about how you're posting, it's about what you're posting. Hope this helps.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:24
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- CharlestheHammer
- Jun 26, 2011
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YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
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Maybe Blue Train lives in a sitcom were these wacky misunderstandings happen.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:25
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- PHIZ KALIFA
- Dec 21, 2011
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#mood
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Man I dunno I was at the park with my son and his mom and some random rear end woman came up to me saying her daughter said I pinched her and calling me a molestor and poo poo until I called my son and his mom over, then she just kind of wandered off
you cockblocked a feminist. if you opened your mouth to yell about your innocense she'd stab her eggs into your brain with her strapon. thats hella rude dude feminists need willing slavemeat to support their chittering young. dont be a clamjammer.
edit- wow.wWOW. everyone calling me sexist obviously doesnt understand the years i spend studying colonies of vespid feminists in dracula's lunar crater. im the worlds leading expert on social dynamics and if you continue to make trouble for me you will never present at the greater new england social dynamics conference ever again.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:26
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- blarzgh
- Apr 14, 2009
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SNITCHIN' RANDY
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Grimey Drawer
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That post seems to be aimed at you so uh?
Its aimed at both sides - both to all the keyboard criminologists investigating the crime scene off the post of some attention-seeking stranger, and to all the "well, actually" goonsay gatekeepers making sure we all "keep it in perspective."
Its a picture of dumb, lovely people being dumb and lovely, lets just laugh at it and not worry about it.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:27
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- Tiny Deer
- Jan 16, 2012
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Yea I mean gently caress presumption of innocence or the people in question saying she overreacted
You were just minding your own business, this guy was actively creeping. It's an entirely different situation and no one thinks what happened to you was fair or good.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:28
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- CharlestheHammer
- Jun 26, 2011
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YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
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So I could have gotten laid? gently caress
Well no the mother stopped you.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:29
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- Theotus
- Nov 8, 2014
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Yea I mean gently caress presumption of innocence or the people in question saying she overreacted
I'd rather have someone over react in a situation that appears inappropriate or potentially dangerous to children than not do anything at all. Better that a grown rear end adult maybe get offended than a kid get hurt.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:29
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- blarzgh
- Apr 14, 2009
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SNITCHIN' RANDY
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Grimey Drawer
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I'd rather have someone over react in a situation that appears inappropriate or potentially dangerous to children than not do anything at all. Better that a grown rear end adult maybe get offended than a kid get hurt.
Only the Sith deal in absolutes!
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Apr 11, 2017 22:29
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- CharlestheHammer
- Jun 26, 2011
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YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
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You were just minding your own business, this guy was actively creeping. It's an entirely different situation and no one thinks what happened to you was fair or good.
I don't know why we should accept BT's version of events.
Could be lying, IMO
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Apr 11, 2017 22:30
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Glad I was able to salvage this one
My[24F] boyfriend [25M] doesn't want to lose weight because it would cause him to cheat on me
This isnt so much a sign as it is a Blimp hovering over with a loudspeaker repeating "get out now"
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Apr 11, 2017 22:34
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- Tiny Deer
- Jan 16, 2012
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My[24F] boyfriend [25M] doesn't want to lose weight because it would cause him to cheat on me
"I love you so much I have to eat all of these Oreos" is something I wish I thought of, honestly.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:36
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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It's time for everyone's favorite game!
My sister [33/F] is upset that I [26/F] “did not tell her that I am sexually active” and is furious that she caught me in bed with my boyfriend [25/M] of one year.
quote:So, this is a bonkers situation. I feel so confused and turned-around on this one. I need some clarity. No, I’m not handicapped or in need of guardianship. I genuinely think my sister may be a bit intrusive.
A few years ago, I was dating Tony. Tony was incredibly violent and I bore his brunt on more than a few occasions. I escaped with the help of my family and some friends and Tony was later charged, convicted and incarcerated. I have a restraining order, have the cards of police officers, etc. That situation is squared away.
Afterwards, got therapy. Better place. But, my older sister can’t help but feel that Tony indelibly marked me as someone incapable of making good judgement. This has become clear over the last few years.
Then, about a year ago, I met and started dating a new guy, Ben. Ben is nice, friendly, a bit messy, but a genuinely nice guy, really smart and funny. We started out real slow and took things step-by-step. Ben was really easy going about starting slow, never pushed it but always made me feel special. I adore him, and as a couple in love with each other, we like to express ourselves…. Physically. Sometimes it’s a bit more vocal than others.
I did not feel the need to inform my sister that Ben and I were doing “the deed”.
My family has all met Ben. Everyone likes him. They think he’s great.
So, on Saturday, Ben and I were hanging around in the morning. Coffee led to breakfast, he ate a sausage, I figured, I would too and the next thing I know we were naked in bed. Now, as a side bar, my sister and I planned to go to Costco in the afternoon. Ben had stuff to do and he and I would regroup later in the day. So, I’m lost deep in passion when the door flies open, my sister is standing there wide-eyed staring at me and the cats fly into the room. She had come over, two hours early and heard what she thought was me being abused. She tore into the bedroom and got an eyeful, backed away and left.
So, that’s horrible enough.
She’s now furious with me. FURIOUS. She thinks that I should have warned her that Ben and I spent weekends together and that she’s not sure we’re ready for the physical aspects of a relationship. She immediately called my mother who didn’t want to know and thinks we should be left alone; my brother and sister got a call. My brother started a WhatsApp group to come-up with funny anecdotes and names and my other sister does not want to hear about it at all, except to say to leave us alone.
Yet, my sister won’t drop this. She wants an apology. I feel like Ben and I are owed an apology. When I countered that she had come into my apartment (using keys I gave her so she could feed my cat when I was away once) she snapped that it was logical to assume that Ben was hitting me since I never exercised good judgement before. That was probably the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me. One guy once was violent. I don’t have bad judgement in everything, nor bad taste. I made a mistake.
After that, I never responded to my sister. I feel like this has spun out of control. I don’t really want to approach her to make peace and feel that until she apologies, I should just ignore her. Thing is, maybe she can’t help but feel protective after Tony? I don’t know. All very confusing.
tl;dr: My sister thinks I have spotty judgement after an abusive relationship. New relationship is great and my sister won't drop the fact that we're moving at a pace she thinks is wrong. Won't trust me and wound-up walking in on me and my SO in the middle of "the deed." Now she wants an apology.
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Apr 11, 2017 22:44
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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It's time for everyone's favorite game!
My sister [33/F] is upset that I [26/F] “did not tell her that I am sexually active” and is furious that she caught me in bed with my boyfriend [25/M] of one year.
holy poo poo lmao
I would give anything just to get the sister's version of what she'd imagined these two young adults had been doing all year
A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Apr 11, 2017
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Apr 11, 2017 22:45
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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I feel like that's the ultimate moral of this thread.
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Apr 11, 2017 23:08
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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The guy you strongly suspect is a pedo? Yeah, he's a loving pedo.
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Apr 12, 2017 00:08
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- cyberia
- Jun 24, 2011
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Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.
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Well, as long as she has at least one good one to wear. I agree at that size it's structural engineering that counts more than anything.
Speaking of sexy subjects!
TIFU eating boner pills and bursting my frenulum. (NSFW)
The amazing backstory!
Defense of pursuing younger hotter women!
Condoms and STDs!
Finally, the source of friction that caused all of this:
Dear reddit: horny old pussy didn't get wet, ripped my condomless dick, life problems.
Jesus, I can hear this guy's eurotrash accent when I read his posts.
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Apr 12, 2017 00:15
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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Wife's friend [F,30] is a breastfeeding mommy blogger type. The scene she's in seems to be bordering on child porn/pedophilia. I [M,30] am not sure what to do with my opinion/evidence.
quote:My wife's friend became facebook friends with me a couple years ago. She's an ex-stripper (according to my wife and extremely sexual person) and now a proud stay at home mom. She is very passionate about breastfeeding and constantly posts pics and videos on social media of her breastfeeding her son (about 2 years old.) These are fairly normal, but her attention seeking behavior about it rubbed me the wrong way. Especially because her breastfeeding videos seem to keep moving into a sexually charged realm (both nude, sexy looks into the cam, a lot of kissing between them.)
For the most part I think that stuff is fairly harmless except sharing it for the world to see online, but still not a big deal and not really my business except her videos pop up on my instagram every other day.
I was mostly just ignoring this hunch I had that something was off until the other day. I was scrolling facebook and it showed that she had commented on a photo that was being shared in the proud, late breastfeeders circle on social media. The photo was of a white woman who had adopted an African boy. He is about 5-6 and was breastfeeding. It was a professional portrait and in black and white and very stylized. They were both nude and the boy is pretty large, he was laying with his waist between her legs and sucking on her boob, basically missionary position, and the mom had a look of major ecstasy on her face. I thought it was honestly creepy, but still I was going to try to ignore it until I read the comments.
My wife's friend was defending the photo as it was fairly controversial and a lot of people thought it was way too sexual. Her comment was basically, "Breastfeeding is a sexual act and it is normal to feel sexual during breastfeeding. A lot of women get turned on and that is normal. I get really turned on when I breastfeed and I think of it as just a way to bond with my son. We need to end the stigma against breastfeeding."
That really didn't sit well with me and I clicked on the page that had originally posted that photo. Essentially a large portion (maybe half) of the photos they post are very sexualized breastfeeding photos with nudity. It's a page for proud late-breastfeeding moms and so the kids are often 3-10 years old and for some reason mostly boys. The page talks about how often they get reported and how that shows the hate in our society towards breastfeeding moms and in particular late-breastfeeding moms.
I showed my wife this stuff and she completely agrees that it is all very creepy, especially how some of these bloggers are making a living posting their fairly graphic and artistically sexual photos and videos on their sites. Some of the groups have been kicked of facebook for the inappropriate content, but they just form more groups. I've been clicking around and getting more and more appalled.
Am I being paranoid? Are some of these mommy bloggers sexualizing their kids for controversy and clicks on their blogs? Is my wife's friend abusing her son? I really hope that I'm just seeing something that isn't there.
TL;DR: Facebook friend posts questionable breastfeeding videos and pics constantly, which led me down a rabbit hole of facebook groups and blogs that also seem very questionable.
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Apr 12, 2017 00:16
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Wife's friend [F,30] is a breastfeeding mommy blogger type. The scene she's in seems to be bordering on child porn/pedophilia. I [M,30] am not sure what to do with my opinion/evidence.
They're pedophiles.
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Apr 12, 2017 00:20
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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Buried in the comments is...well, it's reddit, you can take a guess.
quote:Let's break some of this stuff out into pieces.
For one thing, it's not great when you start to take one position, like this:
...not a big deal and not really my business...
But then you hold pretty much the opposite stance in the same post with this:
her attention seeking behavior about it rubbed me the wrong way
Either you're judging her behavior as "attention-seeking" and viewing it in a negative critical light, because you believe it's appropriate for you to judge her, or it's not your business and not something to make a big deal out of. One or the other, but not both.
Her being an ex-stripper is a detail that doesn't connect anywhere to the rest of this post, except that it comes across as you being judgmental of her. "She's an ex-stripper that's seeking attention" does not sound like a neutral assessment of the person she is.
But let's put all that aside, because of the other big element here.
Breastfeeding is not a sexual act, at least not in the sense that it's purpose is not sexual gratification of either party involved or the sexual titillation for any onlookers.
However, because nipples are sensitive things, it's not unheard of for women to become aroused while breastfeeding, which is understandably a weird thing. Older men experience a certain pleasure from urinating because a full bladder can press on the prostate, and when you get down to it, that's a little odd too. So there can be a real struggle to balance this non-sexual act of breastfeeding that can trigger sexual feelings.
But wait! There's another huge element here.
Boobs are highly sexualized in our society. Nipples even more so. (WWE billboards in some areas have to airbrush out the men's nipples...) But breastfeeding isn't a sexual act, it's an act of maternal love. So there are folks who very much want to shift society's view of women, of breasts, and of naked female bodies away from just being "these things are for the sexx0rs" to being ordinary, natural, (but still beautiful) things.
So you've got stigma against boobs. Stigma against being aroused. A conflict between a sexual thing and a nonsexual thing. And we're still not done, because oh lord you do not want to wade into the "how old is too old" debate, because that gets heated fast!
TL;DR version - it's a lot more complicated than you think it is. You're over-simplifying and being judgmental, two great tastes that don't taste great together.
Am I being paranoid?
Yes.
Are some of these mommy bloggers sexualizing their kids for controversy and clicks on their blogs?
No. They're not sexualizing their kids. They may be expressing love and affection, and there may be some unintended sexual arousal of the mothers, but not the kids. You're seeing sex because you see boobs and think sex.
Is my wife's friend abusing her son?
No. At least, not based on what you've posted.
/
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Apr 12, 2017 00:24
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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thanks modern pseudo-feminism
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Apr 12, 2017 00:27
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- SpaceClown
- Feb 13, 2016
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by FactsAreUseless
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Apr 12, 2017 00:27
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 16, 2024 16:48
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- Modus Pwnens
- Dec 29, 2004
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Wow this is so appalling, terrible really *spends hours clicking through to every group and mentally cataloging all the pictures*
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Apr 12, 2017 00:28
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Apr 11, 2017 22:14
