/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

SpaceClown posted:

horses suck

# ? Apr 12, 2017 04:07

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# ? May 20, 2024 06:48

Barudak: May 7, 2007

tactlessbastard posted:

Help, I'm the world's dumbest rear end in a top hat!

I remember extremely valuable life advice I overheard once while listening to a mans cellphone conversation in a movie theater lobby once, which boiled down to a man walking his friend over the phone through the very basic concept of if nobody catches you, and you never do it again, its not a problem unless you have to go out and tell people for no good goddamn reason.

Also heads up thread, start combing Reddit for a good one because I spent my ride home unable to avoid listening intently a train rider's phone conversation with a friend about how they're going to still move in with their SO after their SO promised they could get a pet, then when they got a pet their SO told them they should no longer live together before going into a spiel about how they trust their SO so little they're installing hidden cameras in the place they are moving into together to monitor the SO while they're home alone, then deciding that maybe they should get some more second opinions on if they were crazy.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 04:24

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Barudak posted:

I remember extremely valuable life advice I overheard once while listening to a mans cellphone conversation in a movie theater lobby once, which boiled down to a man walking his friend over the phone through the very basic concept of if nobody catches you, and you never do it again, its not a problem unless you have to go out and tell people for no good goddamn reason.

Also heads up thread, start combing Reddit for a good one because I spent my ride home unable to avoid listening intently a train rider's phone conversation with a friend about how they're going to still move in with their SO after their SO promised they could get a pet, then when they got a pet their SO told them they should no longer live together before going into a spiel about how they trust their SO so little they're installing hidden cameras in the place they are moving into together to monitor the SO while they're home alone, then deciding that maybe they should get some more second opinions on if they were crazy.

Tenderly whisper into the cell phone person's ear, " :murder:

# ? Apr 12, 2017 04:32

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

I always confess because I care most about my own opinion of myself. I'd rather get berated from a loved one once or twice for doing something sneaky then get berated by myself every single day for being dishonest by omission.

If my wife is mad and doesn't want to sleep with me a few times, that's fine. But I have to sleep with my own conscience every single night.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 04:44

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Pick posted:

http://i.imgur.com/HZMStsh.mp4

This is adorable. Foals are deadly cute.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 04:50

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

Drunk Nerds posted:

I always confess because I care most about my own opinion of myself. I'd rather get berated from a loved one once or twice for doing something sneaky then get berated by myself every single day for being dishonest by omission.

If my wife is mad and doesn't want to sleep with me a few times, that's fine. But I have to sleep with my own conscience every single night.

For the kind of person that accidentally lands their genitals in stranger's hands, then blames it on weed, that's probably not be a huge issue.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:01

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

I'd confess too, but I don't go to Korean massage parlours and ask for a happy ending with the oldest one they got.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:04

SpaceClown: Feb 13, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

i dont go to massage parlours :smug:

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:05

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

Is there a similar arrangement for girls that go to massage parlors. Sexist if not imo

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:08

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Dear Reddit: my girlfriend wants to go to a massage parlor, is she cheating on me???

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:08

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Psycho Society posted:

For the kind of person that accidentally lands their genitals in stranger's hands, then blames it on weed, that's probably not be a huge issue.

Oh I didnt read the thread. I'm just full of myself and want everyone to know it.

Whew! Feels great to get that off my chest.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:08

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

SpaceClown posted:

horses suck

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:08

SpaceClown: Feb 13, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

Psycho Society posted:

Is there a similar arrangement for girls that go to massage parlors. Sexist if not imo

now i want to know

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:08

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

I needed a real athletic massage once and every place I googled came up on a website called Rubmaps which is where perverts congregate to discuss the best handjob parlors they can find.

I didn't get that massage.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:10

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Girls don't need it, all they have to do is poop or hold a pet.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:10

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

I needed a real athletic massage once and every place I googled came up on a website called Rubmaps which is where perverts congregate to discuss the best handjob parlors they can find.

I didn't get that massage.

You should have picked the worst rated place, reverse psychology

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:12

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Today's secret word is sink.

Me [25M] with my girlfirend [23F] of four years, she leaves her bloody pads on the sink and gets defensive when I call her out.

quote:

While my girlfriend was taking a shower, I walked into the bathroom and saw that she had discarded her used, bloody pad on the sink (with no sort of toilet paper or barrier). This is where I will put toothpaste/brushes or my contact lense case. I was immediately infuriated, and asked her (without yelling) why she put it on there. She immediately got defensive and started yelling. This led into a big shouting match where she refused to take any responsibility or apologize for something so disgusting.

She says that it's because she wraps her used pads in the wrapper from the new one, but there has to be another way. I understand why she doesn't throw it in the bathroom garbage (it's really snowy and we don't change garbage too often now) or why she doesn't put it on the floor (cat), but it's absolutely baffling why she would find it OK to put it on the sink! While she's showering I put it in a bag, but she gets out and yells at me for being an rear end in a top hat.

By the way, this defensiveness thing happens all the time. Menstruation brings it out more, but it's constant. She leaves a dish in the sink? Defensive. Leaves food in a container outside and we have to throw it out? Defensive. Forgets to do something that I asked her? Defensive. She rarely apologizes until after the fact and I don't think has once changed a bad habit at my request (while I, even though I do mess up, have made attempt to change many things I do for her).

And I admit I can get aggressive or condescending when stuff like this happens over and over, but I make a real attempt to be as polite as possible with it and rarely get any more than storming off.

tl;dr: Girlfriend leaves bloody pads on sink, yells and gets defensive when I put them in a bag/tell her not to anymore. Is this acceptable? How do I not only deal with this sanitation issue but also her constant need to get childish and defensive.

EDIT: So I've learned:

1) I'm probably way too naggy in the relationship and need to work on that.

2) Period blood isn't as bad as I thought it was and I was a bit of an rear end in a top hat for getting grossed out at it being on the sink.

3) That I should kind of give up my expectations of the relationship and let her do more without having to give my opinion on it.

4) That when she called me an rear end in a top hat it was probably accurate.

Seriously, this thread left me feeling like poo poo. I really need to reflect on the kind of person I am and try to fix things

Me [28F] with my BF [31M] of 5mo doesn't use the bathroom...

quote:

I feel weird posting this, but I need an outside perspective on this matter.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months and he's probably the nicest guy I've ever been with. I've dealt with a string of abusive men, and to finally meet a guy who legitimately respects me and holds my opinions in high regard is refreshing to say the very least. He's a smart and talented man, very crafty and handy, and works a job that makes a better-than-average salary. However, things took a strange turn about a month ago.

I was over at his apartment and saw a 2liter bottle of what looked like urine stowed away near his desk. He told me that it was apple juice and looked very intent on changing the subject. He excused himself to the bathroom, and so I uncapped the bottle and sniffed it- it was definitely NOT apple juice. I told him what I'd done and he became (reasonably) upset that I hadn't left it alone, and assured me that it was just for "some dumb prank" he was going to pull on a friend. I dropped the subject and left him alone about it.

A few days later, I was using the bathroom at his place and saw a large package of Depends in his bathroom cabinet. His parents are no longer alive, and he's never made any mention of caring for an elderly person, so I don't know what to think about it.

About a week later, things started getting weirder. I found another bottle of urine- a different bottle (different color cap), and went to question him about it. I confronted him while he was in the kitchen, and found him peeing in the sink. Immediately, he was startled, tried to tuck his penis into his boxers and act like nothing had happened, but it was pretty obvious from how he was acting, not to mention a large urine stain on the front of his boxer shorts. I asked him what he was doing, and he reacted very defensively, telling me it was time to go home, that he suddenly had an appointment he needed to get to, and just trying to get me out of his place. Naturally, I left.

I wasn't using the bathroom, the toilet was completely open for use, and he still elected to pee in the sink, making me even more confused and wary about the whole situation.

I don't know what to do, guys. I like this guy- I'm pretty sure that I'm not too far from saying that I love this guy. When we first started out, I felt like a bird with an injured wing and he was nurturing me back to health (cliche, I know, but it's seriously how I felt). He makes me happy, he has a stable lifestyle and we're compatible on so many levels it's crazy... but I'm just not into pee. I don't have an aversion to urine, but I'm not comfortable with his hygienic habits and I'm actually a little worried he'll urinate in my own sinks if he were to visit my apartment.

Am I crazy? Am I immature for thinking this? Every time I think of him, I can't help but jump back to him leaning his pelvis over the sink, peeing into it like it was no big deal, or the idea that he might be wearing adult diapers beneath his clothes when we're together. I don't want to be a bully, but it's such a major turn-off for me that I can see this causing very real, very serious issues in our relationship. Any and all help, or suggestions with how to deal with this would be vastly appreciated.

tl;dr: My boyfriend pees in the sink and bottles instead of the toilet, and owns adult diapers.

EDIT: I REALLY didn't expect this to get so much attention. While I realize this is an out-of-the-ordinary situation, I suppose I wasn't quite ready for this much feedback. Thank you all for your comments and input. Most of you have been very helpful and have come at me with a spectrum of different ways to approach this issue sensitively. I'm going to speak to him about his aversion to urinating in the toilet.

Additionally, some people have been asking if he also stores his feces in such a manner- I'm not aware. I haven't seen any, feces in any kind of containers, bottles, etc, and I haven't really be looking for it. Last time I'd spent time with him, I wasn't ready to learn anything more about his hygienic habits, so I decided to actively avoid looking for answers beyond what was already in front of me.

I'm planning on posting an update to this. Thank you all, and wish me luck.

EDIT 2: I spoke with him BRIEFLY over the phone. I took the helpful advice of some of you and told him in very gentle, very non-judgmental terms, that I wanted to speak to him about his "bathroom habits." I explained to him that I wasn't going to judge him, and that I wanted to talk to him just to get some answers. He was reluctant, but agreed to talk to me "later." Rest assured, this will not be the kind of "later" that just gos away. I'm going to be asking him about this as soon as I see him next.

There are a lot of redditors here essentially telling me to just leave him, and that 5 months isn't that big of a deal. While I understand that I have my own issues to work through, and that 5 months "isn't that big a deal", he is still a person I care deeply about. I would do this for any of my friends, and quite frankly, I couldn't think of just up and leaving without at least trying to learn WHY he behaves this way, and at least trying to help him through it. I'm glad that everyone here is so confident in my ability to find a decent man who doesn't have this problem, but everyone has issues. I was lucky enough to find a guy who not only makes me happy, but shares a huge number of my world views, philosophies and beliefs. To just throw that away without even giving it a CHANCE seems so cold.

Looking forward to giving some sort of update, but I don't think I'm any longer looking for advice on the matter. Thank you all your responses, please wish me luck in resolving this.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:17

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Haifisch posted:

Seriously, this thread left me feeling like poo poo. I really need to reflect on the kind of person I am and try to fix things

Hahaha owned

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:23

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

Just take out the trash you loving garbagemen

e: I really want to see what their apartment looks like if he considers dropping a used tampon on the loving ground to be okay instead of the presumably overflowing trash boulder next to the toilet.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:27

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

I drink a LOT of water. In the middle of the night sometimes. If there's no glass and I'm thirsty, I'll just lean under the sink and scoop water into my mouth. In the dark...

Yeah, what youre imagining did happen to me a few times.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:33

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

tl;dr: My boyfriend pees in the sink and bottles instead of the toilet, and owns adult diapers.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:33

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

tl;dr: My boyfriend pees in the sink and bottles instead of the toilet, and owns adult diapers.

it's okay he has a higher than average salary

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:35

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

I wonder what his username is

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:36

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

shmorky

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 05:45 on Apr 12, 2017

# ? Apr 12, 2017 05:43

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

That woman must have gone through hell in past relationships to be so okay with dating Lord Pissbitch.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 06:22

SpaceClown: Feb 13, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

Drunk Nerds posted:

I drink a LOT of water. In the middle of the night sometimes. If there's no glass and I'm thirsty, I'll just lean under the sink and scoop water into my mouth. In the dark...

Yeah, what youre imagining did happen to me a few times.

what am i supposed to be imagining?

did your boyfriend come out of your bedroom and pee on you while you were drinking?

# ? Apr 12, 2017 06:26

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Bathroom light switches: what are they?
We just don't know.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 07:00 on Apr 12, 2017

# ? Apr 12, 2017 06:37

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

hm

I could go to the toilet...It's right there...would take me merely seconds...

ORrrrr, I could piss in a bottle?

hm

I think i'll...piss in a bottle

- actual real persons

# ? Apr 12, 2017 06:52

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My [25F] boyfriend [25M] of a year told me he used to have a sexual relationship with his sister [26F]

quote:

No, they are not step-siblings or half-siblings. They have the same biological parents. I'm kind of reeling ...

I've been with my BF (Dan) for a year. He and I are very serious about each other and are (were?) planning on moving in together once our individual leases are up.

His sister (Kelly) and him are really close. They are only 11 months apart (their mom got pregnant again basically right after Kelly was born) and they were in the same grades at school based on where their birthdays fall. They're more like twins than little brother/big sister. I have always really liked Kelly and consider her to be a friend. Kelly is also married to a really nice guy - we all live in the same city so we see each other often.

Dan and I have been binge watching House and essentially there's an episode that deals with incest (I don't really feel like summarizing but the episode is called Fools for Love if you're interested). After it was over I just talked about how sad it was but how I would die (obviously exaggerating) if I was in that kind of situation and how sad it was for the couple. Dan got really quiet then and told me he had to tell me something.

He said that he hadn't ever told anyone before but essentially he and Kelly had a sexual relationship from the time he was 15 to 20. He basically said that they were curious about sex and decided to "learn together" (his words)....but it went on for 5 years. I am just in total shock. He told me that he never had had romantic feelings for her but they had sex for FIVE YEARS. I asked him if he was being like...overly generous describing what they did as "having sex" but he clarified and they basically did everything together (literally everything). And he told me they still dated other people but if they were both single they would still get together. And get this - they stopped because started seriously dating her now husband. I asked Dan if her husband knew and he said no, they had never told anyone.

Like...if they were half siblings who weren't raised together/didn't know they were related (like in the show) I would probably be more understanding I guess...but Kelly is his full blooded, raised together, REALLY CLOSE sister!!! He told me he trusted me and loved me so he wanted me to know but in all honesty I'm so disturbed and disgusted right now. I think he expected me to react differently but idk...The worst part is that Kelly and I are good friends so I feel doubly betrayed, if that makes any sense.

I really don't know what to do. I know logically Dan is the same person he's always been with me and he hasn't done anything to me per se...but I am seriously horrified and just see him and Kelly in a totally different light, especially since her husband doesn't know either.

TL;DR my boyfriend told me he had a sexual relationship with his sister for 5 years. Not sure if this is a dealbreaker. Is it okay if it is? Should I tell Kelly's husband??? I truly don't know what to do

At least there's no age gap.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 07:00

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

gee it's almost like hosed up sex weirdoes have other problems durr

# ? Apr 12, 2017 07:03

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BCQ8Z-wwjk

# ? Apr 12, 2017 07:03

Psycho Society: Oct 21, 2010

She's asking if it's okay if she breaks up with her incestuous boyfriend. She's asking Reddit this. What the gently caress is wrong with these people's brains

# ? Apr 12, 2017 07:04

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

"he expected me to react differently" probably because there's enough incest porn now that guys think it's just a taboo kink instead of family-destroying mental illness

# ? Apr 12, 2017 07:04

SpaceClown: Feb 13, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Apr 12, 2017 07:07

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Pick posted:

gee it's almost like hosed up sex weirdoes have other problems durr

He got face smalled by God.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 07:10

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

That reminds me of the story where a dude met his girlfriend's brother or cousin or something on vacation and like the moment they reunited the relative just put his arm around her and turned the bf into a third wheel. Like they'd be watching a movie together and cuddling while the bf sat off by himself wondering if it was weird or not, p funny.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 08:10

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

La Brea Carpet posted:

My [25F] boyfriend [25M] of a year told me he used to have a sexual relationship with his sister [26F]

At least there's no age gap.

Tbf everyone has that cousin they went to third base with, and then no longer talks too because the family found out and no longer lets you see each other.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 09:21

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Turtlicious posted:

Tbf everyone has that cousin they went to third base with, and then no longer talks too because the family found out and no longer lets you see each other.

You going to the reunion this year?

# ? Apr 12, 2017 09:29

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

fruit on the bottom posted:

You going to the reunion this year?

No reason, :sigh:

# ? Apr 12, 2017 09:40

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# ? May 20, 2024 06:48

Anagram of GINGER: Oct 3, 2014; by Smythe

La Brea Carpet posted:

My [25F] boyfriend [25M] of a year told me he used to have a sexual relationship with his sister [26F]

At least there's no age gap.

# ? Apr 12, 2017 10:18

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