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whiteyfats posted:Explain. Goon carries a printer a long distance to a girl's place hoping his valiant IT work will make her drop her pants. Instead he gets offered a beer, freaks out about that, leaves with nothing more than an awkward hug and then kills himself. Holy poo poo, how in three years have you never heard of that story?
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Apr 12, 2017 12:59
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didn't he also kill himself because a cop saw him drink a beer and his suicide note was a long ramble about his privilege and how if his friends want to honour his memory they should take a gender studies class
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Apr 12, 2017 12:59
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:didn't he also kill himself because a cop saw him drink a beer and his suicide note was a long ramble about his privilege and how if his friends want to honour his memory they should take a gender studies class That's a different goon.
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Apr 12, 2017 13:01
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Yah that was LF poster TS12
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Apr 12, 2017 13:02
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I never knew the printer guy killed himself. On a different note, I'm looking for a cheap used printer, PM me.
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Apr 12, 2017 14:34
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Sestze posted:There was the sad story of a goon that carried a printer a mile to a girl's house so she could print a document with the vain hope that he'd get laid. Instead, she met with her boyfriend and he got nothing but "thank you" from her. That's the most SA goon story I've ever read. Holy poo poo. 
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Apr 12, 2017 14:34
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Mammal Sauce posted:Goon carries a printer a long distance to a girl's place hoping his valiant IT work will make her drop her pants. Instead he gets offered a beer, freaks out about that, leaves with nothing more than an awkward hug and then kills himself. I may have read it and just not retained it. 
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Apr 12, 2017 14:36
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whiteyfats posted:That's the most SA goon story I've ever read. Holy poo poo. Hence why it became The greatest saga of the SA forums. It really is the granddaddy of them all. Not because it's the most spectacular or the most involved or even the funniest, but it is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the absolute gooniest.
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Apr 12, 2017 14:36
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steinrokkan posted:I never knew the printer guy killed himself. Pilgrimage him.
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Apr 12, 2017 16:51
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Mammal Sauce posted:Goon carries a printer a long distance to a girl's place hoping his valiant IT work will make her drop her pants. Instead he gets offered a beer, freaks out about that, leaves with nothing more than an awkward hug and then kills himself. Seriously, that's like not immediately recognizing the story about the guy that got nervous when he was about to get laid and reacted by crawling around on the floor meowing before leaving the room. The "Well, that's certainly a way to solve that problem" response was pretty good, too.
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Apr 12, 2017 17:04
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whiteyfats posted:I may have read it and just not retained it. Here's the text: quote:A loose female acquaintance of mine calls me at 1:00am today and asks me if I could print something on the computer for her and bring it over in the afternoon. "Hey yeah sure sure, whatever you need I'll help you, I'm all yours," I tell her. She sends me this file and lo and behold I can't open it. It's made in Microsoft Publisher and I don't have that program so I begin panicing, trying to find this program or a way to print the file. Scouring the internet yields no results and I do my usual pacing in my room.
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Apr 12, 2017 17:06
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e;fb
MisterOblivious has a new favorite as of 17:12 on Apr 12, 2017 |
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Apr 12, 2017 17:09
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Can someone find the picture of jesus carrying the printer on his back, aka the passion of the borky, I cant find it anywhere and its bugging me
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Apr 12, 2017 17:28
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biracial bear for uncut posted:Seriously, that's like not immediately recognizing the story about the guy that got nervous when he was about to get laid and reacted by crawling around on the floor meowing before leaving the room. I recognize that story, but is there a link to the full version somewhere?
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Apr 12, 2017 17:29
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Last Chance posted:I recognize that story, but is there a link to the full version somewhere? I can't find the text but I found this: http://tindeck.com/listen/iqgr
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Apr 12, 2017 17:54
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Here's the text: Hollllllly poo poo.
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Apr 12, 2017 17:57
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Here's the text: this is one of the foundational myths of the forums and should be required reading when you reg it's important
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Apr 12, 2017 18:06
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chernobyl kinsman posted:this is one of the foundational myths of the forums and should be required reading when you reg I know, it's like being a priest and not having read the Bible.
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Apr 12, 2017 18:11
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Mammal Sauce posted:Goon carries a printer a long distance to a girl's place hoping his valiant IT work will make her drop her pants. Instead he gets offered a beer, freaks out about that, leaves with nothing more than an awkward hug and then kills himself. I think the beer part is from another story, the narrator of that one met the girl he was totally in love with at a party, but when she offered him a beer he panicked and screamed "I'M STRAIGHT EDGE!", slapped it out of her hand, burst into tears, and ran away. I might be confusing it with yet another one but I think on an earlier occasion he saw her at the mall and started talking to her. When she offered him some Dr Pepper he said "I don't drink that poison", which got a funny look and an "umm, ok" from her, but he'd thought he might still have a chance to make a good impression.
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Apr 12, 2017 18:11
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Yeah it's a different guy, the straight edge guy had an amazing bit where the girl said something like "Hey, it's Greg, right?" And he went "NO ACTUALLY IT'S GREGORY" or some such. Didn't it end with the boyfriend threatening to murder him if he ever saw him again?
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Apr 12, 2017 18:19
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That reminds me of the goon that excitedly went up to an actor at a star trek convention and said "That show was poo poo except for you!" and then didn't understand why they looked so depressed in the picture he took Edit: it was Robert Picardo The Chad Jihad has a new favorite as of 18:25 on Apr 12, 2017 |
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Apr 12, 2017 18:22
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RentACop posted:That reminds me of the goon that excitedly went up to an actor at a star trek convention and said "That show was poo poo except for you!" and then didn't understand why they looked so depressed in the picture he took I can't believe you didn't post the picture. It is posted on the regular on the voyager mock thread in GBS.
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Apr 12, 2017 18:33
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:didn't he also kill himself because a cop saw him drink a beer and his suicide note was a long ramble about his privilege and how if his friends want to honour his memory they should take a gender studies class The last bit was ts12, someone called the cops on some big house party with underage drinking and he killed himself http://www.bradenton.com/news/local/crime/article34549992.html here's his suicide novel: https://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/lead-a-good-life-everyone-trey-malones-suicide-note/ He used to run the @goons_txt twitter for a while
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Apr 12, 2017 18:42
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 Phone posting, I did not know there was a GBS thread
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Apr 12, 2017 18:47
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RentACop posted:
 you're redeemed.
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Apr 12, 2017 18:49
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exploded mummy posted:The last bit was ts12, someone called the cops on some big house party with underage drinking and he killed himself quote:A suspect later identified as Malone quickly came forward, shoved the deputy backwards and said he was not welcome in the house, the report states. I'm torn between "no way someone that loving goony would shove and talk poo poo to a cop" and "of course some goony mofo got so wasted he assaulted a cop and then killed himself over it"
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Apr 12, 2017 18:52
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Skarsnik posted:Can someone find the picture of jesus carrying the printer on his back, aka the passion of the borky, I cant find it anywhere and its bugging me When I looked down I saw there were only one set of footprints in the sand. I asked you why and that's when you said " because my son that is when I was carrying a printer for 2 miles to get a hug".
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Apr 12, 2017 19:51
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Your Gay Uncle posted:When I looked down I saw there were only one set of footprints in the sand. I asked you why and that's when you said " because my son that is when I was carrying a printer for 2 miles to get a hug". Fuckin lol
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Apr 12, 2017 19:58
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I forgot he used the phrase "pledged my heart and soul to a girl."
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Apr 12, 2017 22:47
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Wtf In what world is licking a dog's butthole a sick burn on anyone other than yourself and the people who have to pay taxes for the police to arrest you for doing a bestiality
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Apr 12, 2017 22:51
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A Spider Covets posted:Wtf They were flailing around like frank grimes from the simpsons, trying to sorta strawman burn saying "look at me, I'm dumb as poo poo too, look at this gross pic!"
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Apr 12, 2017 22:55
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I don't know how my moderator tenure will end, but the next guy's will end with sticks and stones.
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Apr 12, 2017 22:58
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A Spider Covets posted:Wtf woozle wuzzle (  ) made a funny post describing the minutes she must have spent searching for, selecting, and uploading the image in question
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Apr 12, 2017 23:01
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A Spider Covets posted:Wtf I'm guessing the thinking was that it was like goatse, but yeah.
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Apr 12, 2017 23:01
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:I don't know how my moderator tenure will end, but the next guy's will end with sticks and stones. I knew you'd make a fine open-door-policy mod one day, when back as a regular old poster, you gave me permission to share your accidental date with a child in the goonlulz thread.
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Apr 12, 2017 23:03
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Grandmother of Five posted:I knew you'd make a fine open-door-policy mod one day, when back as a regular old poster, you gave me permission to share your accidental date with a child in the goonlulz thread. You can't leave it at that.
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Apr 12, 2017 23:24
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Grandmother of Five posted:I knew you'd make a fine open-door-policy mod one day, when back as a regular old poster, you gave me permission to share your accidental date with a child in the goonlulz thread.
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Apr 12, 2017 23:24
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Online dating has had a very strange influence on my life but I haven't stopped yet!!
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Apr 12, 2017 23:24
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tell me more
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Apr 12, 2017 23:25
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Grandmother of Five posted:accidental date with a child There's a word for that
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Apr 12, 2017 23:28
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