Taiwan Number 1

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Amergin posted:

Witnessed domestic violence here for the first time.

Young couple living in the building across from us. I heard some screaming and went go kanrenao from my window and saw the couple fighting outside their front door with a bunch of stuff there... looked like someone was moving out, maybe? Guy slaps the woman, grabs her by the arm and drags her around a bit while she's crying, then lets go and stomps downstairs to smoke a cigarette.

That's all very well and lovely. But I did not expect how... child-tantrum-like this dude was. The woman, sobbing and holding her arm, goes down to talk to him and he whips out his phone, pretends to be talking on it and yells "I'M ON THE PHONE!" at her. Then when it's obvious she's not falling for that, HE starts sobbing and turns away from her most melodramatically. THEN when she still won't leave, he turns around and they talk, but he starts picking at his nails while she talks to avoid eye contact. A little later he turns away from her and kicks at the ground (and misses) like a toddler and stomps off. She follows him and he turns around yelling "DON'T FOLLOW ME!" and "I NEED TO MAKE A CALL!" and eventually to avoid her, he turns and just straight up jumps into some fuckin' bushes, hacking up a lung the entire time as this was the most exercise he'd had in a while.

So she stands at the edge waiting for him. Eventually he comes out covered in leaves. They talk a bit more, she's still sobbing (sounding very much like fake sobbing at this point) and pointing at her arm and he's avoiding eye contact by picking leaves off himself. He tries one last attempt to avoid her by walking away, but she walks in front of him to block him at every turn. So then he takes out earbuds, which as far as I can tell aren't even connected to anything, and puts them in his ears pretending to listen to... something. She says something that pisses him off so he rips the earbuds out and throws them on the ground, then shakes his head in pain from ripping them out and, having lost face from showing pain, turns and crouches at the edge of the lot staring into the bushes while the woman retrieves his earbuds for him.

Finally he relents and walks back to their apartment. The woman picks up her phone from the ground at the building entrance which I hadn't even noticed before, so I guess he threw her phone out and down three stories...? She started sobbing again but they went into their apartment so that was that for my show.

Just... how the gently caress does someone like this exist in reality? This is like cheesy 80s movie spoiled brat behavior.

Don't shame the ol' *jumping in a bush and then coming out covered in leaves* tactic. I do that all the time.

# ? Apr 15, 2017 11:04

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# ? May 15, 2024 21:51

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Der Shovel posted:

It was then I got Chinaed.

Friend, if only you had read and heeded the warning stories in these threads.

# ? Apr 15, 2017 11:06

champagne posting: Apr 5, 2006; YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

JaucheCharly posted:

Friend, if only you had read and heeded the warning stories in these threads.

What can you do except throw them under the bus?

# ? Apr 15, 2017 11:14

Xerxes17: Feb 17, 2011

I feel like you could become a youtube superstar by going around dressed up like Commander Shepard and approaching these situations like a sidequest. "What seems to be the problem??" [Right hook]

# ? Apr 15, 2017 11:40

Third World Reagan: May 19, 2008; Imagine four 'mechs waiting in a queue. Time works the same way.

it is like this cheesy 80s behavior was some how rooted in real life

# ? Apr 15, 2017 11:48

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

Xerxes17 posted:

I feel like you could become a youtube superstar by going around dressed up like Commander Shepard and approaching these situations like a sidequest. "What seems to be the problem??" [Right hook]

I would do this in a heartbeat.

# ? Apr 15, 2017 14:07

big time bisexual: Oct 16, 2002; Cool Party

Third World Reggin posted:

it is like this cheesy 80s behavior was some how rooted in real life

Check this out. An app controlled motor on a shower rod to use against upstairs neighbors that won't shut up.

# ? Apr 15, 2017 15:54

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

big time bisexual posted:

Check this out. An app controlled motor on a shower rod to use against upstairs neighbors that won't shut up.

Gunpowder, paper, the compass, and an app controlled motor on a shower rod.

Unfortunately, Chinese people will only use it against upstairs neighbors that won't shut up, while Europeans will use it to conquer half the planet.

# ? Apr 15, 2017 16:43

SaltyJesus: Jun 2, 2011; Arf!

McGavin posted:

half the planet.

# ? Apr 15, 2017 16:48

champagne posting: Apr 5, 2006; YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

SaltyJesus posted:

ah yes the european siberia and heavily european influenced countries such as iran and afghanistan.

# ? Apr 15, 2017 16:58

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Boiled Water posted:

ah yes the european siberia and heavily european influenced countries such as iran and afghanistan.

Yup, Iran was Russia's and Britain's bitch. Afghanistan falls under "not worth the trouble"

# ? Apr 15, 2017 17:00

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Afghanistan was the center of a Greek kingdom for multiple centuries.

# ? Apr 15, 2017 17:05

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

Yeah you can talk poo poo about modern Afghanistan if you want but it's got as much history as its neighbors

# ? Apr 15, 2017 17:09

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

I dunno what the timeframe is on that since Turkey, Saudi Arabia, Iran, and Afghanistan should all be in the total European control column if it's not time limited (also Turkey is Europe).

# ? Apr 15, 2017 17:11

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Liberia was meta-colonized by Europe, as it was colonized by African-Americans who were sent there by European-Americans.

# ? Apr 15, 2017 17:22

Accretionist: Nov 7, 2012; I BELIEVE IN STUPID CONSPIRACY THEORIES

# ? Apr 15, 2017 17:38

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Accretionist posted:

Wow, I've seen some amazing physics defying trike piles but this guy wins.

# ? Apr 15, 2017 17:44

bring back old gbs: Feb 28, 2007; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Accretionist posted:

i will never drive on these roads, so i cannot criticise

# ? Apr 15, 2017 18:22

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Amergin posted:

Witnessed domestic violence here for the first time.

Young couple living in the building across from us. I heard some screaming and went go kanrenao from my window and saw the couple fighting outside their front door with a bunch of stuff there... looked like someone was moving out, maybe? Guy slaps the woman, grabs her by the arm and drags her around a bit while she's crying, then lets go and stomps downstairs to smoke a cigarette.

That's all very well and lovely. But I did not expect how... child-tantrum-like this dude was. The woman, sobbing and holding her arm, goes down to talk to him and he whips out his phone, pretends to be talking on it and yells "I'M ON THE PHONE!" at her. Then when it's obvious she's not falling for that, HE starts sobbing and turns away from her most melodramatically. THEN when she still won't leave, he turns around and they talk, but he starts picking at his nails while she talks to avoid eye contact. A little later he turns away from her and kicks at the ground (and misses) like a toddler and stomps off. She follows him and he turns around yelling "DON'T FOLLOW ME!" and "I NEED TO MAKE A CALL!" and eventually to avoid her, he turns and just straight up jumps into some fuckin' bushes, hacking up a lung the entire time as this was the most exercise he'd had in a while.

So she stands at the edge waiting for him. Eventually he comes out covered in leaves. They talk a bit more, she's still sobbing (sounding very much like fake sobbing at this point) and pointing at her arm and he's avoiding eye contact by picking leaves off himself. He tries one last attempt to avoid her by walking away, but she walks in front of him to block him at every turn. So then he takes out earbuds, which as far as I can tell aren't even connected to anything, and puts them in his ears pretending to listen to... something. She says something that pisses him off so he rips the earbuds out and throws them on the ground, then shakes his head in pain from ripping them out and, having lost face from showing pain, turns and crouches at the edge of the lot staring into the bushes while the woman retrieves his earbuds for him.

Finally he relents and walks back to their apartment. The woman picks up her phone from the ground at the building entrance which I hadn't even noticed before, so I guess he threw her phone out and down three stories...? She started sobbing again but they went into their apartment so that was that for my show.

Just... how the gently caress does someone like this exist in reality? This is like cheesy 80s movie spoiled brat behavior.

You know that trope of "Submissive Asian Women" that all those foreigners are chasing? Actually, they are looking for a woman like this, who will put up with all the tantrums and indignation when necessary.

Actually, that just makes me wonder at which point in history it became acceptable for both sides to act like ridiculous babies here.

http://i.imgur.com/ZPzNZNP.gifv

# ? Apr 15, 2017 18:59

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Accretionist posted:

Vehicles like these use a chabuduo-field generator. It allows stacking of almost surreal amounts of crates, etc. on a very small and seemingly not streetworthy trike. The driver engages the core by exposing his belly.

# ? Apr 15, 2017 19:00

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Haier posted:

UPDATE:
She messaged me at 10pm asking if I can give her a hug. I reply "HAHAHAHA" and nothing else. 30 minutes later she asks if maybe I can also give her a kiss. I tell her I am reading the news (reddit), so I can't. She says if we kissed, she would know whether I am the right one for her, and if we can have sex. I told her I can't.

FINAL UPDATE
I don't know her name. I forgot. I will call her Nervous Mervis.

She was pressuring me all god damned day about meeting tonight. I just said "I'll think about it, stop bugging me." She usually bugs me to meet, but she had it in her head that Saturday night was the night we were going to meet, and she was going to score. She was harassing me about it so much by the evening that I told her she should just delete me. She said she would, but then let out a stream-of-consciousness Face-Saving garbage rant saying I was the one pressuring her because I had rejecting her idea to meet me tonight. I was seriously like "wat?" She said I need to stop chasing her, because I will never have her, and I need to find a new girl. I had never chased her after our first meeting, so this was Gold-tier Face, which is full projection mode mixed with complete blame.

She lives near the Metro station, so I got out and sent her my location to troll her. "ARE YOU THERE? I AM COMING DOWN TO SEE YOU NOW!" I lied and said was already home. She asked if we could really meet tonight, and I said she rejected me and I have to look for someone else. She said she will give me a massage and make it up to me.
I don't know why, I just wanted to see what would happen, so I said ok, come over after my shower.

She shows up and she's got a sweater on with a jacket over it. It's was 78/25 at the time, definitely not jacket weather. She says she super nervous and shy and she can't believe she really came. We talk for a while and she starts one topic and then immediately changes to another. She asks me about one thing and then switches to something else, and I notice that every single thing she says is some form of doubt or negative assumption about the topic. I told her she likes to jump to conclusions. She denies it, so I remind her of something she told me about seeing her friend working a lowly job, and she had regretted assuming the reasons why she took that job.
She said she doesn't remember that story, and she has good logic and therefore she does not jump to conclusions. It is simply a matter of her logic being better than mine that I can't understand her. This girl is a walking pile of Face.

My favorite was when she asked me just how is it at all possible that people could ever know how the sea level used to be lower than it is now. She just couldn't believe that humans could learn stuff like this and the world can't be known. I told her "they simply know. We don't know how they know, but they know." She has a degree in accounting or something.

I was sitting on the bed, and her on the couch, and I decided to lean back. "OH MY GOD!" What? "You're laying on your bed. That means you want sex with me now!" I told her we won't have sex, sorry. She jumps up and starts taking off clothes while actually jumping up and down out of nervousness. I told her don't take underwear off, she ain't getting the D. She says we can hug and she is a good kisser and will kiss me. LOL, I knew this was legit Face, but I let it happen. Before she got into bed, she became serious and told me she is completely addicted to watching porn, and she can spend all day watching it. Whenever I ask her in Wechat what she's doing, she says "watching foreign movies," and now it all makes sense. If she's a porn addict, she might be a freak.

We're in bed, mostly naked, and she asks if she can kiss me. Here we go. She goes in and gets a mouthful of nose. I ask her to aim lower. Now it's like two lips touching, but not kissing. Just two things touching in a weirdly platonic unsexy way, like kissing a mannequin. I kept trying to kiss her, but it was like lip-touching an elbow or something. I couldn't grasp anything, and she shifts and starts licking and slobbering on my cheeks like a dog.
She takes her underwear off and tries to hop on pop, and I have to hold her back. I told her no sex, and she agrees, but keeps trying to get on. She's rolling so drat much and keeps smashing my arms or hitting me somehow, and she's complaining why I keep saying "OW!" I get tired of this really fast, and lose interest.

She said she wants to make me "finish," so I said OK. She said "I will never give any man a blowed job!" and then immediately starts rubbing her stomach on my peepee. I ask her what she's doing, and says she will make me finish by rubbing her body on it. I told her that's not how that works. "Really? How does someone else do it if it is not in sex? I don't understand." I told her to use her hand, and she tries and gets tired after 20 seconds and demands to know "WHY NOT FINISHED YET??????"
Then she laid next to me and said she was soooo happy and she loves this feeling and maybe she likes me now.

Nothing notable happens after that except me telling her I am tired and need to sleep and she needs to go home. "I WILL NEVER SLEEP IN A MAN'S HOUSE!" turns into "CAN I TAKE NAP??" I tell her no and she pouts.
We end up back in our seating positions as before, fully clothed and talking. She's grilling me about if I know any other women. I tell her about Chaoshan Girl, and she's shocked. "I want to do business with her." I ask why. "We Chaoshan prefer to do business together!" Oh for gently caress's sake, another one. She asks if she can meet her and I tell her hell no. She then says "ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS!" and gets really upset.

I had just told her a story how one girl I did like before knew my full specifications (I will leave China, so don't fall in love, don't expect anything long-term, there will be no marriage, etc.), and how she'd made herself upset by being utterly shocked I would not stay in China forever for her, would not want children with her, and would not marry her after two weeks. So Nervous Mervis agrees that this girl did not listen to me, but now she is also upset. "Do you like me?" "No." "So even if you leave China, you wouldn't ask me to be your girlfriend or want to come back to see me again? "Correct." "WHY??? ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS!!"

She was pretty calm, but she put on her shoes as fast as she could, stood at my door, demanded I walk her to the elevator (like 10 meters away), said "ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS!" when I said no, and then tried to make a grand exit without realizing the door was locked so she jiggled the handle and walked right into the door.

AMALT

Haier fucked around with this message at 19:51 on Apr 15, 2017

# ? Apr 15, 2017 19:48

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

I just can't believe this poo poo. Wear a loving gopro and livestream your dates. Please. I will pay money for this. You can turn the camera off for any nsfw poo poo.

E: "I watch a lot of porn, I also think rubbing my stomach on dick is normal" wtf? What wierd loving porn is she watching? Can you ask her to send a link of typical porn she watches?

# ? Apr 15, 2017 20:31

Accretionist: Nov 7, 2012; I BELIEVE IN STUPID CONSPIRACY THEORIES

# ? Apr 15, 2017 20:41

Darkest Auer: Dec 30, 2006; They're silly; Ramrod XTreme

Outrail posted:

E: "I watch a lot of porn, I also think rubbing my stomach on dick is normal" wtf? What wierd loving porn is she watching?

For once the answer here is the same as it would be anywhere else in the world. Japan. It's just that in Chinar it's the only sex ed people have.

# ? Apr 15, 2017 21:02

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Outrail posted:

I just can't believe this poo poo. Wear a loving gopro and livestream your dates. Please. I will pay money for this. You can turn the camera off for any nsfw poo poo.

E: "I watch a lot of porn, I also think rubbing my stomach on dick is normal" wtf? What wierd loving porn is she watching? Can you ask her to send a link of typical porn she watches?

Seconding everything.

# ? Apr 15, 2017 21:07

GoutPatrol: Oct 17, 2009; *Stupid Babby*

Darkest Auer posted:

For once the answer here is the same as it would be anywhere else in the world. Japan. It's just that in Chinar it's the only sex ed people have.

Are they forgetting that Japanese porn does that with people smothered in lube

# ? Apr 16, 2017 00:02

Murray Mantoinette: Jun 11, 2005; ＴＨＥＰＯＳＴＳＭＵＳＴＦＬＯＷ; Clapping Larry

McGavin posted:

Gunpowder, paper, the compass, and an app controlled motor on a shower rod.

Unfortunately, Chinese people will only use it against upstairs neighbors that won't shut up, while Europeans will use it to conquer half the planet.

China is kinda like the upstairs neighbor that won't shut up so maybe this metaphor is a bit more apt than you realized?

# ? Apr 16, 2017 01:19

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Outrail posted:

I just can't believe this poo poo. Wear a loving gopro and livestream your dates. Please. I will pay money for this. You can turn the camera off for any nsfw poo poo.

E: "I watch a lot of porn, I also think rubbing my stomach on dick is normal" wtf? What wierd loving porn is she watching? Can you ask her to send a link of typical porn she watches?

She said it was Western, so she really has no excuse. She was literally a walking Face-Saving Double-Standard Chinese Trope.

I deleted her today. I thought she deleted me last night, but she hadn't, and sent me messages a bit ago demanding we have a final (and first) meal together to say goodbye or something. She took major issue that I was meeting other women, claiming I never told her that, and that I am cheating on her and everyone. I told her to look at our chat that many nights she would try to talk to me I would tell her someone is sleeping at my house and I am not free to talk to her. She said I tried to cheat her by making her go to my house. I told her to also look at the chat that we met once IRL about four months ago and I have rejected her every single time she asked to meet me again, and she was the one continuously bugging me. No, it was my fault, because it takes two people to agree! She was only suggesting we meet, nothing more to it, no real desire. It was all me.

She said I was playing her and the other women and I am bad. I said anyone else knows we have no relationship, and they don't want one either, and everyone knows I will leave here. She said all men do this, but she can't believe someone would accept. She refused to believe that a woman could also have non-committal type of thinking, and it must be because I am foreign. She went on a big anti-foreign rant, blaming me for XYZ. I said she just trying to save face and purposely lying. No, I was the liar, she had noooo idea and I cheated her. Pretty much everything she had said or done, she blamed me as the cause of it, or even said I had said or done that.
I again reminded her she was just trying to save face, and this is what Chinese culture does as a feature. Her dream is to go live and work in the US, so I told her if she does any of this Face bullshit in the US, she would lose her friends and maybe her job very quickly. She again went on a foreigner rant and how we only like China for money and we happily leave here, and we all hate every Chinese person and we are evil. She learned a lot from me about how all men are the same, and foreigners are the worst men. Ignoring that she's ranted since I first met her how much she hates China and Chinese and doing business here, and she desperately needs to leave China forever. How she hated Chinese culture and the government for molding them all into selfish "gently caress you, got mine" people.

She kept going on about how I don't know how the world works, and I am just pretending to have learned anything. This is the same girl that got upset how I could know anything about Chinese culture when I am not Chinese and didn't live here my whole life like her and DO U HATE CHINA? She took great offense before that I said I have no future desire to work in China ever again, as if I could understand working with Chinese when I am not Chinese. Totally impossible. It's as unknowable at the sea level. LOL

I said I will delete her now. She demanded a goodbye dinner. I said she can't pressure me about this poo poo anymore. She replied "WHAT TIME? WHAT PLACE? TELL ME. WE GO EAT!" I said goodbye. She said I am truly the one that likes to blame for not understanding the world. I deleted her. I hope for Pete's sake I never have to deal with her again. If she comes back to my place, I will unashamedly go to my landlord down the hall and get him to remove her and put her photo in the "Do now allow" file for the guards.

The past few days were the most we've talked, and IRL I got to see how Face obsessed she was. No wonder she complains so much. Even Chinese people probably can't deal with her. I am willing to be that 80% of the stuff she whined about at her job was caused by her but blamed on other workers.

Having just been dealt so much Face in the past 24 hours, I am thoroughly exhausted and need a break from all of this. If it were not a sunny hot Sunday with my long walks calling to me, I would hide in my room and play video games and forget where I am.

P.S.
She had these rules that I would have to wash my hands if I touched her, and then wash my hands again if I put my hands on or near her vagina. Meanwhile, she walked here in open-toed shoes on these filthy streets and was constantly touching her feet, and would get upset when I asked her to wash her hands. "How can you say feet are dirty?" She later tried to put her feet on my dick, and sarcastically said "Oh, right, you think feet are dirty."

# ? Apr 16, 2017 06:07

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Jesus loving goddamn Christ. You need to stop dating for a few months. Go cold turkey and reorientate your chi or something. You're going to burn out.

E:

mikerock posted:

No, don't stop. Keep flying, Icarus.

Outrail fucked around with this message at 06:32 on Apr 16, 2017

# ? Apr 16, 2017 06:21

mikerock: Oct 29, 2005

No, don't stop. Keep flying, Icarus.

# ? Apr 16, 2017 06:26

mrbotus: Apr 7, 2009; Patron of the Pants

# ? Apr 16, 2017 06:59

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Haier posted:

"Oh, right, you think feet are dirty."

Exceptional places breed exceptional people.

# ? Apr 16, 2017 07:05

hakimashou: Jul 15, 2002; Upset Trowel

JaucheCharly posted:

Exceptional places breed exceptional people.

I had more than one Chinese person tell me that mountains + water are the most beautiful ideal places, and people who are born near them tend to be more beautiful people.

# ? Apr 16, 2017 07:16

mikerock: Oct 29, 2005

hakimashou posted:

I had more than one Chinese person tell me that mountains + water are the most beautiful ideal places, and people who are born near them tend to be more beautiful people.

As a native of Vancouver I can confirm that this statement is accurate.

# ? Apr 16, 2017 07:37

ladron: Sep 15, 2007; eso es lo que es

Haier posted:

If she comes back to my place, I will unashamedly go to my landlord down the hall and get him to remove her and put her photo in the "Do now allow" file for the guards.

I kinda feel this might not be a typo

# ? Apr 16, 2017 07:37

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

# ? Apr 16, 2017 08:17

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Now we wait until he learns about the artificial islands

# ? Apr 16, 2017 08:24

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

Folks, they're taking Filipino soil, and making these fake islands out of them. The Phillippines are getting ripped off! It's sad! These islands aren't even that great. Now, I have built some terrific islands over the years, people tell me, they say I have the best islands, and these islands just aren't up to snuff. Over in CHINA, they spend all this time yelling at people to get away from these islands, but I don't see why, they shouldn't have anyone wanting to come visit.

# ? Apr 16, 2017 08:49

Jusupov: May 24, 2007; only text

Xi will turn the islands in to a golf resort and all is forgiven

# ? Apr 16, 2017 08:54

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# ? May 15, 2024 21:51

champagne posting: Apr 5, 2006; YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

An advisor would just have to tell him chinas making carriers out of sand. Should get the ball rolling.

# ? Apr 16, 2017 08:55

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