/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

If anyone you know says that they "dont believe in medication" you need to cut them out of your life immediately.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:21

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# ? May 31, 2024 04:56

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

I love absolutely everything about that clown story

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:29

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

How do I (32M) approach my Fianc�e (31F) about my desire to be a clown?

So this is a fetish, right?

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

[19f] My boyfriend [22m] wants to control what I put in my body

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:31

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Who What Now posted:

If anyone you know says that they "dont believe in medication" you need to cut them out of your life immediately.

Preferably cut them many thousands of times.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:31

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

[19f] My boyfriend [22m] wants to control what I put in my body

To be fair, that is the ultimate birth control

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:32

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

Who What Now posted:

If anyone you know says that they "dont believe in medication" you need to cut them out of your life immediately.

The dude in that story needs to visit a psych himself honestly cause that's a weird obsession he's got.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:33

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Mods please change my name to STOP! The Clown

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:33

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Yeah it's probably unfair on my part but my first vision of him presenting himself as a clown for the first time for his fiancee was "she's waiting in bed ready for sex when he emerges from the bathroom in a full clown outfit and wordlessly goes at it".

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:34

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

How do I (32M) approach my Fianc�e (31F) about my desire to be a clown?

you know, when I saw this title I assumed it was gonna be "how am I gonna get my wife to let me pay for clown college?", like the first part of the saga from a couple of hundred pages back where the lady was incensed at her husband for his lovely clowning job, but when it turned out he wants to be a scary clown my whole perception of this story changed

Pros of his clowning career:

1. if he wants his skillset to be relevant well into the future, scary clown is definitely the way to go
2. you really don't need formal training to be good at scary clowning
3. you're guaranteed all the work you can handle from september to october every year

Cons of his clowning career:

1. you're probably not getting a lot of gigs outside of September/October as a scary clown
2. how much money does scary clowning really pay, anyway? it can't be a lot
3. high likelihood of being shot, especially when working out of season

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:35

DJ Fuckboy Supreme: Feb 10, 2011; And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

[19f] My boyfriend [22m] wants to control what I put in my body

young people

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:38

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

How do I (32M) approach my Fianc�e (31F) about my desire to be a clown?

on further thought, this is just an ICP joke right?

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:41

Gloryhold It!: Sep 22, 2008; Fucking
Adorable

I hope there's an update soon, I wanna know if she's down with the clown

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:41

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

Mirthless posted:

you know, when I saw this title I assumed it was gonna be "how am I gonna get my wife to let me pay for clown college?", like the first part of the saga from a couple of hundred pages back where the lady was incensed at her husband for his lovely clowning job, but when it turned out he wants to be a scary clown my whole perception of this story changed

Pros of his clowning career:

1. if he wants his skillset to be relevant well into the future, scary clown is definitely the way to go
2. you really don't need formal training to be good at scary clowning
3. you're guaranteed all the work you can handle from september to october every year

Cons of his clowning career:

1. you're probably not getting a lot of gigs outside of September/October as a scary clown
2. how much money does scary clowning really pay, anyway? it can't be a lot
3. high likelihood of being shot, especially when working out of season

Yeah I can't think of a reason to hire a scary clown. Plus there was that stuff in the news last year about people dressing up as clowns and assaulting people in parks and trails so you may also attract the attention of local police.

I don't know, maybe Clips For Sale has some odd category he would fit into.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:47

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

[19f] My boyfriend [22m] wants to control what I put in my body

Can we add "people who don't believe in medicine" to the list of don't-dates? Best case scenario is they die of some stupid poo poo because they didn't wanna take a pill; worst case scenario is this.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:52

Gloryhold It!: Sep 22, 2008; Fucking
Adorable

Bonzo posted:

I don't know, maybe Clips For Sale has some odd category he would fit into.

You say that like you don't know that there's at least 3

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:52

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Me [26F] with my bf [27M] of 3 years. His aquarium obsession has taken over the house and his life

quote:

My bf and I have been together for close to 3 years now and It's a very serious relationship. We both want marriage and kids in the future but we are in no rush right now. He's been involved with aquariums since I met him but because of the apartment he lived in his options were limited. I moved into his apt a little over a year ago. He was wanting to buy a house and wanted us to buy one together but because of my credit, student loans and what I'm making that wouldn't be an option for me for a few years. He decided to buy one himself and it was fine with me. I was involved in the entire process with him and we moved in 5 months ago.

I knew that after we moved he wanted to get more and larger aquariums since now he had plenty of room for them but I never thought it would be to this level. His hobby has taken over the entire house and his life. I counted the other night when my sister was over and he was at 22 aquariums. Not only are there a lot of them but some of them are very large. There's at least one in every room of the house including a 200 gallon piranha tank 4 feet from our bed which I'm not a huge fan of. The house is always very humid too. Just about every second of free time he has is spent doing something fish related. If it's not on his own stuff he's out helping other people with their tanks. Now he's also going to be hosting meetings with this club he's in. He spends a lot of money on the hobby but I don't have an issue with that because it's his money and he does have a large disposable income.

Our relationship is not doing good right now. We see each other plenty but he's always busy doing something aquarium related. I don't think we've ate dinner together in 2 months he just tells me he'll warm it up later. I myself like fish and I love that he's passionate about something but now it seems like more of an obsession and last night he was in the garage until midnight building a shark tank. A few days ago we got into an argument because I said the house looked like a fish store. He said it's his house so he will get as many aquariums as he wants. I know it's technically his house but I did offer to pay some of the bills and he told me no and to use that money for my student loans. I'm not really sure what I do. I'm very unhappy right now. Not just with the fact that the house looks like a fish store but also that he hasn't had time to even eat a meal with me in months let alone anything else. Then I question whether I should even be upset because it is his house. Help? Doesn't seem like telling him to get rid of 10's of thousands of dollars worth of aquariums and fish is an option.

Tl;dr

My bf of 3 years bought a house on his own because it would have been a few more years before I could have. It's filled with aquariums and every second of his free time is spent on it. Don't know what to do.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:52

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Mirthless posted:

you know, when I saw this title I assumed it was gonna be "how am I gonna get my wife to let me pay for clown college?", like the first part of the saga from a couple of hundred pages back where the lady was incensed at her husband for his lovely clowning job, but when it turned out he wants to be a scary clown my whole perception of this story changed

Pros of his clowning career:

1. if he wants his skillset to be relevant well into the future, scary clown is definitely the way to go
2. you really don't need formal training to be good at scary clowning
3. you're guaranteed all the work you can handle from september to october every year

Cons of his clowning career:

1. you're probably not getting a lot of gigs outside of September/October as a scary clown
2. how much money does scary clowning really pay, anyway? it can't be a lot
3. high likelihood of being shot, especially when working out of season

I don't think scary clowning pays in the traditional sense, it's more of an 'all the children you can eat' type gig

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:56

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Me [26F] with my bf [27M] of 3 years. His aquarium obsession has taken over the house and his life

At least he's dedicated?

quote:

[�]somebodysomeplace 2 hours ago
He's probably already checked on this but otherwise be aware not all buildings can support the weight of all these tanks, they need to be placed in certain parts of the house in relation to where the joists and certain walls are. Overloading the floor with giant fish tanks can be dangerous, water is heavy.

[�]Fishyproblems [S] 2 hours ago
Yea he did something with that after he bought the house and had all the doorways widened.

Maybe OP should start wearing a fish costume to get his attention.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:59

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Mirthless posted:

Cons of his clowning career:

1. you're probably not getting a lot of gigs outside of September/October as a scary clown
2. how much money does scary clowning really pay, anyway? it can't be a lot
3. high likelihood of being shot, especially when working out of season

hello i have Relevant Information:
1) all the Pro Scary Clowns I know are also heavy on the renfaire/con circuit for summer gigs, many of them live in colony-vans that truck south during the winter.
2) there are basically two classes of fiscal clowns, one is the Sub ICP spraypainted meth-hobos largely responsible for the Spooky Clown Sightings. the OTHER group has fuckin Cirque Du Solei money and basically act as hired entertainment for week long drug orgies held by the decadent rich.
3) well yeah clowns are awful.

Anyway there's a dude I know called Dollar Jim cuz for a dollar he'll punch anyone you know. His favorite thing is to get high school kids to give him beer cuz he has a trick where he does pullups with most of the bottle shoved into his mouth. He was lost in the woods from one Halloween Hootenanny dressed like a clown and spooked a whole tribe of cub scouts. AFAIK he was the Alpha Clown. Clown Zero. He Whom Started the Fear.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 19:59

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Barudak posted:

There is an interesting long form article you can read called something like My Grandma the Poisoner about a person coming to terms with the evil his grandmother inflicted on the family.

wow that was an incredible read
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/my-grandma-the-poisoner-0000474-v21n10

this guy is... uh. very forgiving. :stare:

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:00

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

[25/F] My father [61/M] wants to cut me out of his life because I'm dating a biracial man [25/M]. Not sure how to deal with consequences.

quote:

My boyfriend Daniel (changed name) [25/M] and I [25/F] have been exclusive for two weeks. He's half black half white and I'm white. My parents are older southern folks, so I knew this wasn't going to go over smoothly, especially with my "hang the confederate flag on MLK day" father [61/M].

Daniel and I met on an online dating site. After our first date I was so excited to tell my mom [55/F] about how great the date went. Then I told her about him being half black half white. We have had conversations about interracial dating before and she said that would be something she would have to get used to. She was a little taken aback, but happy that I was happy.

Then my dad came in the room. My mom encouraged me to tell him about my date so I told him every positive thing about him I knew my dad would like and left out the part about his race. My dad said "As long as he makes you happy." I thought "I will keep that in mind."

My dad attempted to convince others he wasn't racist. "It's Robert E. Lee Day, that's why I'm flying this flag", "The confederate flag represents state's rights, not slavery." etc. Other than the fact my mom said my dad didn't like the interracial romantic interest in the Wild Thornberries movie, I haven't heard him say anything about interracial couples.

Daniel and I hit it off so well we decide to be exclusive after the third date. Note: The last relationship I was in was on and off over the course of 8 years, so I don't know how many dates you're supposed to go on before making it official. I was told by friends and family I should tell my dad about Daniel's race before things get serious so maybe he will have time to adjust.

I sat my dad down and told him that I was dating a half black man. My dad responded with "I will need some time to let that sink in." and left the room. Him not blowing up right there gave me hope. False hope.

My mom texted me a few days later and told me "It's not going to be good." My mother gave me a heads up saying he wants to cut me off (I'm a grad student) and cut me out. I couldn't believe it. My mom told me not to tell Daniel until my dad has made a decision.

A week and a half or so later my mom wanted me to come by the house to see her and "face the music" with my dad. That I did. He started with "You're an adult and can make your own decisions. Just know those decisions have consequences." My dad told me he and I will not have a relationship if I continue to date Daniel. He said he would deny being a grandfather to any children I may have with someone not white. He said "I don't care if this hurts your feelings because you clearly don't care about mine." He told me he would never ever accept it. He said he would shoot himself in the face before ever accepting this. So on and so forth. He didn't give any reason for disowning me other than "It may be because I grew up this way. But you asking me to accept it is like asking me to say God doesn't exist. It's not who I am." He let me respond. I told him he never told me how strongly he felt about this and I asked why he didn't like it. He said "You just never listened. It's wrong."

My concern isn't my relationship with my father. If he's willing to disown me because I choose to date someone half black, he's not worth keeping in my life even if I wasn't in an interracial relationship. I'm concerned with how things will be in the future. How would my future with Daniel look if my dad refuses to be in the same room with him? My mom is still married to my dad, so my dad will be there during all holidays. Will I have to avoid seeing my family on holidays because of my dad's bigotry? In a way I'm asking for advice on how to deal with a hateful parent that's still married to the parent you love dearly.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:10

Tiny Deer: Jan 16, 2012

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

[25/F] My father [61/M] wants to cut me out of his life because I'm dating a biracial man [25/M]. Not sure how to deal with consequences.

This dad doesn't think he's a racist and he'd get loving pissed if you called him one, that is a fact I tell you with certainty.

Even his daughter dances around it as he disowns her for dating a biracial man.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:17

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Two weeks into a relationship seems a touch early to start testing the limits of your ridiculously racist fathers affection, but at the same time egging your dad into shooting himself in the face sounds good.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:19

Tiny Deer: Jan 16, 2012

Barudak posted:

Two weeks into a relationship seems a touch early to start testing the limits of your ridiculously racist fathers affection, but at the same time egging your dad into shooting himself in the face sounds good.

There was never going to be a good time to have the 'dad I have lain with a man you would describe as 'urban youth'' conversation.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:24

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

"You see... I have black friends a work and they don't want to date any white daughters of mine either so..."

If it were me I'd let the Dad have his way and just never speak to him again.

I don't know why but this reminded me of a woman I once dated. We were hanging at her mom's house for some reason watch TV and The Green Mile was on. We come to the part where John Coffee puts his lips on the woman with cancer and my both my date and her mother say, "yuck! Can you imagine having that big ol' black thing kissing you?" Needless to say I forgot her number the next day.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:24

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

[25/F] My father [61/M] wants to cut me out of his life because I'm dating a biracial man [25/M]. Not sure how to deal with consequences.

"He told me he would never ever accept it. He said he would shoot himself in the face before ever accepting this."

Is there any response to that other than "Fine dad. Put up or shut up."?

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:27

Gloryhold It!: Sep 22, 2008; Fucking
Adorable

Cthulu Carl posted:

"He told me he would never ever accept it. He said he would shoot himself in the face before ever accepting this."

Is there any response to that other than "Fine dad. Put up or shut up."?

"What in the everfuck is wrong with you?" is a good one imho

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:31

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Cthulu Carl posted:

"He told me he would never ever accept it. He said he would shoot himself in the face before ever accepting this."

Is there any response to that other than "Fine dad. Put up or shut up."?

"If you insist"

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:31

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

[25/F] My father [61/M] wants to cut me out of his life because I'm dating a biracial man [25/M]. Not sure how to deal with consequences.

I don't really know why a 25 year old adult is bothering to have a relationship with a racist rear end in a top hat who flies the Confederate flag on MLK Day. Her Dad's doing her a huge favor because she should have given up on him many years ago, long before she dated a biracial dude.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:32

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

This is the second time in as many days I'm saying it, but TT was right; kill your parents.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:39

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Sliding him a loaded gun would probably be a bad idea, but getting up silently, plunking down a bottle of bleach or antifreeze in front of Racist Dad and just :catstare:

ing at him is also a good response.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:41

chernobyl kinsman: Mar 18, 2007; a friend of the friendly atom; Soiled Meat

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

hello i have Relevant Information:
1) all the Pro Scary Clowns I know are also heavy on the renfaire/con circuit for summer gigs, many of them live in colony-vans that truck south during the winter.
2) there are basically two classes of fiscal clowns, one is the Sub ICP spraypainted meth-hobos largely responsible for the Spooky Clown Sightings. the OTHER group has fuckin Cirque Du Solei money and basically act as hired entertainment for week long drug orgies held by the decadent rich.
3) well yeah clowns are awful.

Anyway there's a dude I know called Dollar Jim cuz for a dollar he'll punch anyone you know. His favorite thing is to get high school kids to give him beer cuz he has a trick where he does pullups with most of the bottle shoved into his mouth. He was lost in the woods from one Halloween Hootenanny dressed like a clown and spooked a whole tribe of cub scouts. AFAIK he was the Alpha Clown. Clown Zero. He Whom Started the Fear.

how....many professional scary clowns do you know

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:43

Pawl: Sep 9, 2006; I'm seeing this from an AoS perspective.

white primer uber alles

Seems like this girl cares too much what her dad thinks

It's almost like she is going out of her way to date a half-black guy just to see what her dad says

Maybe I'm reading into it too much

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:44

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

chernobyl kinsman posted:

how....many professional scary clowns do you know

There's only one worth knowing

https://media.giphy.com/media/3o6ZtdSyuWKIDvlCgw/giphy.gif

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:46

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Pawl posted:

Seems like this girl cares too much what her dad thinks

It's almost like she is going out of her way to date a half-black guy just to see what her dad says

Maybe I'm reading into it too much

like 90% likely yeah

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:46

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

Pawl posted:

Seems like this girl cares too much what her dad thinks

It's almost like she is going out of her way to date a half-black guy just to see what her dad says

Maybe I'm reading into it too much

This seems like a reach, she sets out that she's worried about the dad showing up to events and stuff and still being a massive racist.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:48

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

chernobyl kinsman posted:

how....many professional scary clowns do you know

3, which is a tiny fraction of the professional clowns i know. worth noting that i know an equal number of Scary and Sexy clowns. Sexy clown livestreams fare WAY better, probably because my city is a Hellmouth for Juggalos.

edit: these venn diagrams do not intersect in any way. none of the scary clowns are the least bit sexy, THOUGH the sexy clowns are terrifying, in their own way.

edit edit: one sexy clown won some kind of award for her pro nude aerial silks skills with a routine set to some Skinny Puppy b-sides so, uh, interperate as you will.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:49

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

[25/F] My father [61/M] wants to cut me out of his life because I'm dating a biracial man [25/M]. Not sure how to deal with consequences.

1. What kind of weirdo mentions the person they've been dating to their parents after two weeks?

2. Who has memorable conversations with their parents about "potential interracial dating."?

3. Racists are all ignorant weenies in the end. Exposure and education are the cure for ignorance. If she and the dude stick it out long enough, Dad will come to terms.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:52

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

3, which is a tiny fraction of the professional clowns i know. worth noting that i know an equal number of Scary and Sexy clowns. Sexy clown livestreams fare WAY better, probably because my city is a Hellmouth for Juggalos.

edit: these venn diagrams do not intersect in any way. none of the scary clowns are the least bit sexy, THOUGH the sexy clowns are terrifying, in their own way.

edit edit: one sexy clown won some kind of award for her pro nude aerial silks skills with a routine set to some Skinny Puppy b-sides so, uh, interperate as you will.

skinny puppy has some good b-sides this act might be one worth watching

(true story: skinny puppy: b-sides collect was the first album I ever bought)

# ? Apr 19, 2017 20:57

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# ? May 31, 2024 04:56

Tiny Deer: Jan 16, 2012

blarzgh posted:

3. Racists are all ignorant weenies in the end. Exposure and education are the cure for ignorance. If she and the dude stick it out long enough, Dad will come to terms.

The guy who specifically goes out of his way to spite MLK Day every year might be a slightly tougher nut to crack than you think.

He might come around but God never leave him alone with the grandkids, he will say the most hosed up poo poo to them and it'll be weeks before you get them to stop repeating all the new slurs they learned. Weeks.

I hope if she breaks up with Daniel at some point down the road she doesn't decide to just forget what her dad did, because I guarantee on his death bed he'll still be thinking about how his pure daughter became a race mixing slut. Racist dads never forget.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:03

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