/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Me [26F] with my bf [27M] of 3 years. His aquarium obsession has taken over the house and his life

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 9, 2024 10:30

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

blarzgh posted:

3. Racists are all ignorant weenies in the end. Exposure and education are the cure for ignorance. If she and the dude stick it out long enough, Dad will come to terms.

well I guess this "advice" is less likely to put someone in the hospital than the classic 'all bullies are secretly cowards and will back down the instant you stand up to them'

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:07

Pawl: Sep 9, 2006; I'm seeing this from an AoS perspective.

white primer uber alles

blarzgh posted:

1. What kind of weirdo mentions the person they've been dating to their parents after two weeks?

2. Who has memorable conversations with their parents about "potential interracial dating."?

3. Racists are all ignorant weenies in the end. Exposure and education are the cure for ignorance. If she and the dude stick it out long enough, Dad will come to terms.

What if talking to her dad represents her battle against her own insecurities about biracial dating

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:09

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Pawl posted:

What if talking to her dad represents her battle against her own insecurities about biracial dating

the confederate dad was inside you all along

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:11

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

the confederate dad was inside you all along

Uh we already had one incest story today thanks.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:14

chernobyl kinsman: Mar 18, 2007; a friend of the friendly atom; Soiled Meat

i dated a clown once. third generation clown, from a family of clowns. had a lot of insight into the state of clown politics at the time (2009). not a scary clown though

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:16

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

I worked with a guy that was a "Christian Clown" on the weekends.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:17

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Bonzo posted:

I worked with a guy that was a "Christian Clown" on the weekends.

You worked with a serial killer.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:19

Tiny Deer: Jan 16, 2012

I am learning a whole subculture of clowns (subclownture) exists and I hate it.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:27

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I [28F] am dating a sad/scary mix[36M] and scared to tell my [57m] father

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:28

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Who What Now posted:

You worked with a serial killer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otx49Ko3fxw

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:28

Tender Bender: Sep 17, 2004

blarzgh posted:

I was like, "well, this just seems like they're just a little immature, and these are the ebbs and flows of a regular, ol' relationship where bf says something dumb, but hey, they'll get.

WELP

Lmao talk about burying the lede

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:30

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

My SO [44M] is refusing to do a sleep study because he wouldn't be able to drink. How do I [28F, together 4 years] address his increasingly alcoholic behavior

quote:

When my husband and I first started dating he was a very heavy vodka drinker. He has a history of alcoholism (rehab twice) and based on my urging he switched to wine.
He did this for three years until just a few months ago he started drinking vodka again because "he couldn't sleep otherwise." Surprise, surprise he's sleeping just as terribly but now has bruises from falling down all over the place at night.

I begged him to go to the doctor to see if there was a prescription that might help him sleep. Before he went he already prepped me with how "those pills just don't work for me." The doctor recommended a sleep study. Husband texted from the patient room to say he refused to do it. My only guess is because he wouldn't be able to smuggle in a box wine and a pint of vodka.

What do I do now? I don't know that I can live like this. If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it.

tl;dr: Alcoholic husband refuses help, makes me the bad guy. I don't know how to go forward.

I don't think she understands how addiction works. Switching to wine or pills will not resolve whatever is causing him to drink. Does she think he's just doing it for fun?

Also he's bold face lying to the Doctor because no good one would say, "well gee I dunno....let's do a sleep study?" if you told them that you drank a liter of vodka day.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:35

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Bonzo posted:

I worked with a guy that was a "Christian Clown" on the weekends.

the industry term is Pope, thanks.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:35

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Bonzo posted:

My SO [44M] is refusing to do a sleep study because he wouldn't be able to drink. How do I [28F, together 4 years] address his increasingly alcoholic behavior

I don't think she understands how addiction works. Switching to wine or pills will not resolve whatever is causing him to drink. Does she think he's just doing it for fun?

Also he's bold face lying to the Doctor because no good one would say, "well gee I dunno....let's do a sleep study?" if you told them that you drank a liter of vodka day.

He probably went to doctor about his sleeping, not his alcoholism. And I know for a fact that at a sleep study they tell you to bring whatever you usually need to fall asleep, up to and including alcohol.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:40

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Bonzo posted:

My SO [44M] is refusing to do a sleep study because he wouldn't be able to drink. How do I [28F, together 4 years] address his increasingly alcoholic behavior

I don't think she understands how addiction works. Switching to wine or pills will not resolve whatever is causing him to drink. Does she think he's just doing it for fun?

Also he's bold face lying to the Doctor because no good one would say, "well gee I dunno....let's do a sleep study?" if you told them that you drank a liter of vodka day.

the only thing she can do is leave him but im wondering why the 28 year old is dating a middle aged alcoholic in the first place

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:41

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

boner confessor posted:

the only thing she can do is leave him but im wondering why the 28 year old is dating a middle aged alcoholic in the first place

For the same reason as all the others: crippling emotional distress

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:42

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

https://twitter.com/AtlasXIV/status/854473725323988992

the videogame cuck was apparently big on tweeter

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:53

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Bonzo posted:

My SO [44M] is refusing to do a sleep study because he wouldn't be able to drink. How do I [28F, together 4 years] address his increasingly alcoholic behavior

I don't think she understands how addiction works. Switching to wine or pills will not resolve whatever is causing him to drink. Does she think he's just doing it for fun?

Also he's bold face lying to the Doctor because no good one would say, "well gee I dunno....let's do a sleep study?" if you told them that you drank a liter of vodka day.

I'm not sure what she thought she was accomplishing with the switch to wine. She knows it's still got alcohol in it, right?

Either way she should break up with his sorry rear end and find someone who's not hellbent on ruining their life.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:53

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Me [26F] with my bf [27M] of 3 years. His aquarium obsession has taken over the house and his life

This seems like a problem easily solved by them dating different people.

Also I want that guys lifestyle but with more weed.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 21:58

Axolotl: Jan 23, 2002; Whatever

boner confessor posted:

the only thing she can do is leave him but im wondering why the 28 year old is dating a middle aged alcoholic in the first place

Is she dating him or married to him? She calls him her husband throughout the post.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 23:21

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 3 days!

Axolotl posted:

Is she dating him or married to him? She calls him her husband throughout the post.

Handfasted :colbert:

# ? Apr 19, 2017 23:24

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Panfilo posted:

Handfasted

I thought that's when you don't jerk off for a month to get feeling back

# ? Apr 19, 2017 23:26

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Pick posted:

I thought that's when you don't jerk off for a month to get feeling back

Other fast meaning. Homonyms.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 23:32

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

quote:

I [26/F] have one hell of a time finding a romantic partner. It seems the guys I go for are socially inept and emotionally stunted, while the guys that go for me have no common interests and can't hold up a conversation. I need some advice.[new]
submitted 5 hours ago by cantfind_love
My longest relationship has been 4 years, my most recent a year and some change. My shortest relationships haven't even been what I consider a relationship, because I call things off after a few weeks. I have never been broken up with, I'm always the evil ex that does the dumping. I fall out of love just as easily as I fall in love, I have no idea what is wrong with me. I always try to make things work with the guys I'm seeing, but after a few months of not getting the feeling back I feel it's unfair to keep them in a relationship. I really do try too, i take them on new dates, I get adventurous in the bedroom, I talk to them honestly and openly, but once the feelings gone it's just gone.
The feeling never leaves for no reason, it's always because of something they have done/said that I find incredibly unattractive. Some examples are lying constantly about little things or lying about big important things, name calling/throwing things/temper tantrums when mad/arguing, or just saying generally hurtful things to me. Even if they apologize, the feeling is just gone and I can't for the life of me bring it back. Lying to my face was my I ended up breaking it off my longest relationship, we were engaged and I just couldn't see him the same way. I tried for nearly a year to make it work.
It seems that the men that I mostly attract are emotionally infantile, so these problems happen all the time. I stream video games, I have a decently large fan base, I'm a good lookin gal, and I'm an above average player at the competitive games I play. I'm no where near pro level but I can give my fans a run for their money. This attracts guys that I can talk to for hours about anything because we both have nerdy interests, and they absolutely swoon over me which i honestly enjoy. When I start crushing on this cute witty nerdy engineer boy and he tells me he can't believe he's so lucky to have met a girl like me, I melt. My longest relationships have been with this "type" of guy. But I've noticed a lot of things. As soon as they get into my pants and have me around for a few months, the compliments stop, the teasing ensues, and they no longer have any interest in having romance. The sex almost always dies down too, like to the point where If I didn't have a mirror I would think i'm disgusting. This has happened in every relationship I've had with my "type".
It seems my "type" also has no ability to argue in a civil way, and they have 0 social skills. I think having no social skills is pretty endearing at first, but after a year or so of dating it gets old, I want to go out and mingle with friends, he wants to come along and have a good time, but then acts like a total doofus and makes frankly, an rear end out of himself. I don't really get embarrassed because I'm not the one acting a fool, but I always feel bad. Most of my long term relationships have turned into me sitting inside playing video games with my partner all day. Yes, i communicate all of these problems.
So i've tried to date a different type of guy. The social butterflies that like sports. I love sports too, and the outdoors, and fishing and hunting and all that poo poo. So I'll start seeing an outdoorsy/sporty type guy, and that usually doesn't last more than a month because i swear to god there's some weird pack mentality where all these guys i've seen are obsessed with "guy time."
I need girl time too, or friend time or whatever, but if my brand new boyfriend is interested in something I'm doing, youre drat right I'm going to take him with me and let him mingle with my friends. This always leads to me getting bored because we don't do anything together. They're initially attracted to me because I like all the same stuff as them, but then they never do it with me.
I've been single for some time in between my longer relationships to gain perspective, but I'm honestly very happy with who I am as a person. I have my own identity, I'm happy without a man, but I would love to share experiences with one. I just don't understand why I'm attracted to or why I attract so very many guys that I can't have a relationship with.
tl;dr: I am attracted to / attract guys that either adore me and cling to me and do everything with me but then after "getting in my pants" have no emotional maturity and are socially inept. The second type are social butterflies that have tons in common with me but never bring me along for anything despite being attracted to me because I LIKE these things, so after a month I get bored of having nothing to talk about but the cheesy movie we saw last weekend. I'm starting to think there's something seriously wrong with me, please help. I want a long lasting relationship with someone that is compatible with me and will communicate to fix things when they get broken. Why can't I find it?
17 commentsshare

Um
Because you're boning guys that are watching your lets plays?

# ? Apr 19, 2017 23:33

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Avenging_Mikon posted:

Other fast meaning. Homonyms.

Sorry bro, I'm straight.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 23:34

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 3 days!

Pick posted:

I thought that's when you don't jerk off for a month to get feeling back

That's NoFap. There's a whole reddit dedicated to not masturbating. Definitely no sex weirds there, Pick. Why don't you check it out?

# ? Apr 19, 2017 23:34

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Pvt.Scott posted:

Sorry bro, I'm straight.

How do you keep your crystal charged up with that attitude?

# ? Apr 19, 2017 23:35

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 3 days!

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

How do you keep your crystal charged up with that attitude?

He's pretty topped up on imitation crab for the month, I think he'll be okay.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 23:36

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Um
Because you're boning guys that are watching your lets plays?

you do it to yourself, you do
and that's why it really hurts

# ? Apr 19, 2017 23:37

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

She think's she's a pretty hate machine, but actually buzzes like a fridge.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 23:38

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Submarine Sandpaper posted:

I'd hope most people have Mirthless on ignore so who cares if they missed a footnote in the thousand page novel he's posted itt. The only thing I know about Mirthless' sexuality is that "he loves to gently caress his fat gently caress wife" or something to that effect.

I think "I love my fat wife" is somebody else's gimmick.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

Maybe the ancestral rape wasn't so bad. Maybe the grandfather was Noah and we're all figments of a dream being had by some lemur, watching Noah's granddaughters work his wrinkly shaft.

edit: I've been sent back from the future to prevent a 300 page derail to say, once and for all, that YES lemurs dream, YES their dreams frequently involve biblical allegory, NO that offers NO PROTECTION from ANY kind of Freddie Kreuger style Nightmare Incursions.

The irony is that your very post is what sparks the derail that sent you here.

# ? Apr 19, 2017 23:57

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

fruit on the bottom posted:

I think "I love my fat wife" is somebody else's gimmick.

nah i'll own it

you guys don't know what you're missing

# ? Apr 20, 2017 00:48

I Was The Fury: Oct 19, 2012; Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

Mirthless posted:

nah i'll own it

you guys don't know what you're missing

Lol as if anyone could miss a wife that fat

# ? Apr 20, 2017 00:54

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 3 days!

It takes a big woman to handle the typical goon.

# ? Apr 20, 2017 00:57

Streak: May 16, 2004; by Nyc_Tattoo

Pick posted:

I don't care that people made fun of him, but can we come up with some new disses? It's just a meme it isn't clever in the slightest

much like your posting

# ? Apr 20, 2017 01:00

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Streak posted:

much like your posting

Wow, I'm super glad you quoted this post from two pages and five hours ago for this killer burn. Five golden manbabies to you, goon sirrah.

# ? Apr 20, 2017 01:02

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

Hahahahaaaa :dance:

quote:

My dad [40M] found out I [18F] call my boyfriend [19M] daddy. Now he can't look me in the eye.Non-Romantic
submitted 1 year ago * by embarrassed_daughter
This whole thing is incredibly embarrassing. This is my first post on reddit (long time lurker) and I'm not the best at grammar or story telling so please forgive me.
My dad and I have always had an amazingly close relationship. My mom died when I was young, so it was just me, him, and my uncle. I knew if I had a problem I could always come to my dad. Even when I wasn't a little girl anymore, I called him daddy. He was always affectionate, meaning he'd kiss my temple or put his arm around my shoulders or play with my hair when we would watch a movie.
Now, I don't really know how to explain the situation with my boyfriend. In short, he likes it when I call him daddy. I wouldn't call it BD/SM or anything like that, because otherwise we're very vanilla. When I call my boyfriend daddy, it is by no means has the same meaning as it would for my dad. I know how to differentiate. That's all I can really say.
As you can imagine, my dad was more than a little taken aback to see someone named Daddy texting me. He was deeply confused and demanded to know what it meant. I stumbled on my words and nearly sobbed as I explained everything to him. He was quiet the rest of the ride and didn't really say much at dinner.
This was a week ago and I can still tell my dad is upset. He hasn't been affectionate like he used to and he isn't as talkative either (he used to talk my ear off). He's been spending most of his time working on his car in the garage.
I want to fix this because my dad is the only one I've got and most daughters would kill for the relationship we have, but I can see that whats happened as really cut him deep. I don't know where I could even begin to fix this.
TL;DR: Dad found out I call boyfriend daddy, now he's acting different. What can I do to fix things between us?
Edit: According to one user, my dad's just upset he found out I'm a whore. Problem solved!

In Nagasaki

quote:

Am I 31(f) a prude or are guys getting more deviant?Dating
submitted 1 year ago by taway102233
Am I a prude or are guys getting more deviant?
Back story: I’m 31(f) and have been dating since high school. OK I had a few longish LTRs that kept me out of the loop for a few years; but am I the only one who thinks thing have changed hugely?
Ten years ago a guy would be satisfied with PIV, hand-jobs and the occasional BJ. I thought I was reasonable liberated; I’m down for any position; lights on, lights off; doing it in semi-public places with the risk of getting caught.
I’m OK with oral even if he finishes in my mouth; but I don’t want to get face-hosed, nor do I want his hand pulling the back of my head forcing his dick past the gagging point. And I don’t want to be told whether I spit or swallow.
I don’t freak out if the guy gets some jizz on my face from loving my titties or accidentally pulling out of my mouth in the throes of climax; but I’m not down when the main objective for him is to spew on my face. They probably don’t know how difficult it is to get out of your hair.
I’m Ok with pics and video as long as my face and uglies (his or mine) are not in the same pic/video.
I’m definitely not down for anal, rim jobs, fisting or seeing how big a vegetable I can hide up my hootch!
If I was a skank and this was happening only during one-night stands, I could kind of understand the guy is just seeing what he can get away with knowing that he’ll never see me again. But it’s happening several weeks or even months into a relationship, and after several “normal” sexual encounters.
Am I the only one experiencing this?
Tl;dr I think guys are getting more deviant, what do you think?

hootch?

# ? Apr 20, 2017 01:11