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SirSamVimes posted:Yeah how dare she try to communicate her feelings amirite I could have phrased that better as 'if I was in a relationship with her', but I stand by saying if I, Tiny Deer, specifically got a letter of that intensity and length from I was involved with in a romantic relationship I would seriously question if I was down for reading manifestos on the regular. Like her feelings are valid and she is probably right about his lack of commitment and shittiness but I, again speaking personally as only myself with no advice given to others, would hate dating anyone who writes long letters to me about how bad I make them feel. I (JUST ME) would think they just wanted me to dump them anyway to save them from having to rewrite a novel about my failures as a person and girlfriend. But I'm the kind of person who if I started writing a letter like that to someone I'd realize hopefully before fifty paragraphs that this guy was just a hopeless dickhead and I should write a much shorter letter that read: JUST ME TINY DEER posted:gently caress you, Greg, if you don't have time for me I can find someone who does.
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Apr 22, 2017 00:26
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Pick posted:Men, horrific garbage people or humans? you decide. Why did you list the same choice twice?
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Apr 22, 2017 00:31
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Haha the solution there is so easy - "okay I'll pay you, but I'll be finding cheaper arrangements for getting home" and then leave the car at her parents house. The correct solution is to put all his stuff in the car and then leave it at her parents' house.
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Apr 22, 2017 01:03
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My (28F) SO (34M) of 6 months is incredibly cheap and expects me to pick up the bill and pay for dates when we go out. I've been with my SO for 6 months now and for the most part things are going great. We get along fine, he's easy to be around, he cooks for me, he's considerate of my feelings and all that jazz. The only thing is that he's a complete tightwad. In the 6 months we've been together, he's only paid for one dinner. I end up picking up the bill wherever we go. He doesn't even offer to go halfsies on anything anymore - movies, gas, snacks, dinners, pretty much nothing. It's starting to become a bit of a drain on me, especially now that I've been laid off from my job. I may have unwittingly contributed to this problem in the beginning of our relationship. When we first got together, he quit his job; so in order to not add anymore stress to his situation, I would just volunteer to pay. I just didn't want to be a burden on him. Now on the flipside, he has a job, it pays much more than my lovely job ever did and he STILL expects me to pick up the bill wherever we go. Even though I don't have a steady income anymore and he knows this. I wouldn't be so pissed about this if he'd just offer once in a while. He doesn't. I mean I don't need him to buy me gifts or flowers (which would be sweet, but hey, guess what? He's never done that either) but at the very least I would expect him to be a bit understanding of my situation and y'know not, for a lack of a better word, mooch off me. So my question is, how can I talk to him about his behaviour without sounding like a nag or a gold-digger? Obviously, I'm not interested in him for his money. If I was, I would have bailed on him 6 months ago. I don't think relationships are measured in money, but I still need to look after my own basic needs as well. I'm just frustrated right now. Thanks for listening to my bullshit rant. tl;dr version: Boyfriend is a complete loving tightwad and always expects me to pay when we go out.
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Apr 22, 2017 01:08
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My (24F) boyfriend (30M) thinks I'm a cheapskate, but I think maybe I just can't afford him.Relationships 121 points 96 comments submitted 3 years ago by cheapskate22 to r/relationships I'm using a throwaway because I don't want BF to find this. I've (24f) been with my boyfriend (30M) for about three years. I've been working on a post grad teaching certificate program for the past year, and just started my student teaching. This has been a huge dream of mine for a long time, and I'm so happy that I got to do it. Student teaching will last four months. I'm going to be without a paycheck for a little while. If I live very modestly, I can barely scrape by with my car payment, insurance, student loans, and credit card payments. The thing is, my boyfriend is not very happy about the living modestly part, even though he knew this was coming. Boyfriend wanted to go on a vacation over spring break, and was upset when I told him I couldn't afford to go with him. He wanted me to take out a loan so I could go with him, which I told him I was not going to do. He eventually accepted it, and will be going by himself to visit a friend over spring break. Fine by me. But he still gives me a hard time about it occasionally. He often suggests going out to eat, and then gets upset when I remind him that I am on a very fixed income for the time being. I try to tell him that I'm not being cheap, I literally can't afford it, but I don't think he understands. Money has always been a minor issue for us. We both work for a school district and have summers off. Annual summer road trips have always been a big part of his life, every since he became a teacher 8 years ago. Before we leave on driving vacations, I tell him I can only contribute x amount of money to the trip, and if he doesn't want to go with me I would understand (he's done solo road trips alone before and loves it) but he always says it's fine, and then somehow we're on the road, I'm past my budgeted amount, and I end up being pressured to whip out the credit card. My cards are now maxed. It's not like these are expensive trips- we mainly go to state capitals, museums and then go camping, because that's what we like. But I'm on a tight budget, so the cost is still tough to swing. When I talked to him about how much the credit card debt stresses me out, he told me I shouldn't be so worried because it's not really that much debt anyway. I'm afraid to tell him that not only can I not go with him for spring break, but summer break. He's going to flip. Right now we live together. He purchased a home, and we moved in together. My name is not on the mortgage. I pay 45% of all house bills (mortgage, utilities, cable, garbage, etc.) and he pays 55%, because I make 12k less than he does. I really appreciate this and have told him so. We split maintenance costs 50/50, as well as groceries, entertainment, etc. I don't expect him to take care of me while I'm doing this internship- we're not married. But I do wish he would take care of some more of the grocery bills, or maybe pay a little bit more of the mortgage. I hate having this low simmering tension. It's so hard to have productive conversations because we both get upset- I get teary and emotional, and he gets angry. I try to be generous in small ways- I often buy him books for no reason (he loves to read) and I go all out for Christmas, birthdays and Valentines Day, and whenever he asks me to pick something up for him while I'm out, I always do it, even though he doesn't return the favor. We go out to eat more than I can really afford to, but it's still less often than he wants to, so I figured it's compromise. We'd go out to eat every day if he had his way. We spend $150 a month on cable, even though he's the only one who watches it. I actually end up buying about 70% of the groceries, because I do most of the errands. And I try really, really hard not to complain about being stressed about money, because this makes him angry. But he still sees me as a cheapskate, and I don't know what to do. I've never been accused of being cheap by anybody else. I've never thought of myself as cheap. Am I being ridiculous? I love him and he has talked about wanting to get married, but I don't think that would be wise considering money tensions would only get worse if we got married. tl;dr: My boyfriend thinks I'm a cheapskate, but I feel like our relationship is too expensive for me. I don't know what to do. Am I really a cheapskate?
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Apr 22, 2017 01:11
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Pick posted:My (28F) SO (34M) of 6 months is incredibly cheap and expects me to pick up the bill and pay for dates when we go out. Hes a true feminist.
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Apr 22, 2017 01:13
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Who What Now posted:Hes a true feminist. I went on a date with a guy and offered to go splitsies but he whined because I'd also ordered "a drink". I was wearing a YSL jacket so maybe he could have coughed up $1.50 for a potential investment opportunity but w/e
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Apr 22, 2017 01:16
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I stand by my previous statement that men will make a big show of wanting to be providers but deep down they want women to take care of this poo poo along with all the other stuff (emotional labor, flexibility, sexual availability, you name it).
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Apr 22, 2017 01:17
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Pick posted:I went on a date with a guy and offered to go splitsies but he whined because I'd also ordered "a drink". We absolutely cannot tell the difference between Forever 21 and Bloomingdale's.
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Apr 22, 2017 01:26
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Pick is there something you want to tell the thread because it seems like there is a theme to the content you have shared is it that men are inherently cheap garbagebabies?
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Apr 22, 2017 01:32
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Cakefarts Carol posted:Pick is there something you want to tell the thread because it seems like there is a theme to the content you have shared No, she's finding material for her other thread and artificially inflating her post count.
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Apr 22, 2017 01:32
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Who What Now posted:No, she's finding material for her other thread and artificially inflating her post count. hey ! stop noticing things 
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Apr 22, 2017 01:37
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More on family vacations: My girlfriend [29F] is angry at me [23M] for taking my younger sister [17F] on vacation instead of her. quote:My GF and I have been dating for 2.5 months. I am planning a long weekend trip to a beach resort with my sister.
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Apr 22, 2017 01:39
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:More on family vacations: The girlfriend is paranoid that they will bang. That's my only possibly read on why she would throw out the "she's not your real sister" thing.
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Apr 22, 2017 01:43
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and that sister was wendi deng
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Apr 22, 2017 01:45
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Pick posted:and that sister was wendi deng you are simply the worst
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Apr 22, 2017 01:45
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Apr 22, 2017 01:53
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oh my god
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Apr 22, 2017 02:03
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gently caress yes
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Apr 22, 2017 02:03
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v good
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Apr 22, 2017 02:03
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In the meantime, Pugsley and Uncle Fester are yelling "Nice funbags!" at some woman.
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Apr 22, 2017 02:16
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Apr 22, 2017 02:23
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ahahhaahaha
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Apr 22, 2017 02:26
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I read this thread every day and I like both Elsa and Pick, and also the stories of human garbage fires posted itt 
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Apr 22, 2017 02:28
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Marvelous.
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Apr 22, 2017 02:33
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Khazar-khum posted:In the meantime, Pugsley and Uncle Fester are yelling "Nice funbags!" at some woman. Elsa PLEASE draw this too!
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Apr 22, 2017 02:33
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Pick posted:My (25/f) fiancee proposed to me but it turns out the ring is fake. He bought a name brand box off of ebay I hate everybody in this story.
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Apr 22, 2017 02:34
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Simply, horrendous
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Apr 22, 2017 02:34
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Goddammit Elsa you've done it again
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Apr 22, 2017 02:35
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Elsa is my favorite feelgood turnaround story in this thread
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Apr 22, 2017 02:35
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Wednesday is going to marry cousin It, if this thread is any indication.
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Apr 22, 2017 02:36
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Apr 22, 2017 02:37
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I'm in hospital getting iv fluids and pain meds. Elsa, you are killing it. More content pls, pt next to me is puking and hyperventilating.
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Apr 22, 2017 02:41
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Elsa is saving the thread one comic at a time.
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Apr 22, 2017 02:42
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Apr 22, 2017 02:43
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Pick my daughter wants to know why you have a Rapunzel avatar
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Apr 22, 2017 02:45
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Jason Sextro posted:Pick my daughter wants to know why you have a Rapunzel avatar Your daughter isn't old enough for that story. I was there and I wasn't old enough for that story.
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Apr 22, 2017 02:46
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Jason Sextro posted:Pick my daughter wants to know why you have a Rapunzel avatar Brain damage is the easiest explanation to tell children.
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Apr 22, 2017 02:48
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WrenP-Complete posted:I'm in hospital getting iv fluids and pain meds. Elsa, you are killing it. More content pls, pt next to me is puking and hyperventilating. Are you ok? Jason Sextro posted:Pick my daughter wants to know why you have a Rapunzel avatar She looks like Rapunzel IRL.
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Apr 22, 2017 02:48
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WrenP-Complete posted:I'm in hospital getting iv fluids and pain meds. Elsa, you are killing it. More content pls, pt next to me is puking and hyperventilating. Dammit, you're a gameboy classic, you can't die!
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Apr 22, 2017 02:50
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