brakeless posted:

you are about to enter a relationship
your future partner is

[ ] an idiot
[ ] crazy
[ ] a turd person [ ] figuratively [ ] literally

you must choose at least one option before proceeding

Adam Vegas posted:

Nah, this is a woman who believes in ghosts and thinks wise old men know her future. She dumb. Bullet dodged.

Panfilo posted:

Elsa please do a Beetlejuice themed illustration of that story.

Elsa posted:

I don't think I know which retard relationship post you mean, can you link me please

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

My (20 F) SO broke up with me (21 M) for reasons I fully can't understand


Lmao

fruit on the bottom posted:

I think I'm with Pick on this one. I think the story is funnier if you imagined it as a series of progressively more bizarre attempts to break up culminating with a large fake exorcism put on by her family and friends.

"My [25M posted:

wife [26F] writes outlandish fanfiction and honestly it kinda bothers me"]
Prefacing this by saying I have absolutely nothing against people who write fanfiction, or fanfiction itself. I've read some that are really cool.
So I've been married to my wife for a good four years now and we're doing great. At first we got a bunch of people who told us we got married too young, it wasn't gonna last, and some other rude stuff but really, we're doing just fine. There's nothing in the relationship that makes me think Helen (diff name) might be unhappy with me, our marriage, her life, etc. Which is why this took me so much by surprise.
Helen reads a lot and plays a bunch of video games, something I could never get into because of bad screen sickness. A few days ago I was on our joint desktop (her gaming PC) looking things up when I noticed she left her fanfiction account logged in some fanfiction website. I knew these things are usually public and assumed she wouldn't mind me reading the stuff she wrote. I may be in the wrong because I didn't explicitly ask for permission to read her fanfiction, but she's an established writer and I really love her stuff so I just assumed it would be fine.
Basically Helen had this incredibly long, ongoing fanfiction she had been writing for a good year now with multiple chapters and hundreds of characters. It was pretty much like a "second life." The main character was basically a thinly veiled, more powerful, more "attractive" (I think she's perfect in real life but fictional Helen was skinnier, had amazing shiny gold hair, etc) version of herself, who went around making friends with all her favorite book and video game characters, doing heroic deeds, and just having a merry old time for a good 60 chapters. She had a whole fictional family made up of her favorite video game characters who rallied to her support whenever her main character needed a hug, and this main character basically went around romancing every single one of her video game crushes when she wasn't saving the world from the clutches of evil.
Two things struck me as odd about this. First of all, in all her writing I've never seen her this self-congratulatory and (dare I say it) narcissistic. Second of all, I just found it odd that she would need to escape to a fantasy world to this extent when I thought her life was fine. I got worried that maybe she had some stressors or hardships that she just wasn't telling me, so I sat her down and told her about the fanfiction I had read, and asked if she was doing okay. She laughed and brushed it off, saying it was just fanfiction and a lot of people lived crazy fantasy lives vicariously through weirdly talented fictional alter egos ("mary sues"). Maybe I'm overthinking things, but I'm just not convinced. That thing was loooooong, and I just can't see how someone with a good life would even want to put in so much effort to escape from reality.
tl;dr: Found wife's ridiculously self-congratulatory and wish fulfilling (and very, very, VERY long and extensive) fanfiction. wife says it's all good harmless fun, but I'm worried that she might not be happy with her life and is using it to escape.

CheesyDog posted:

CheesyDog posted:

CheesyDog posted:

Pick posted:

hehe this is cute. just let her be a dweeb in peace.

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Darger

Read this Pick, you'll get a kick out of it

Pick posted:

don't even pretend I don't know henry darger, that is the basis of like my favorite joke in venture bros

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vXjwTux8T4

Dienes posted:

Compared to the one where the guy found his girlfriends mpreg dog dick rape fiction, this guy has it pretty good. I'm guessing she really wouldn't want him to read it - its one thing to have something published in your name and another to have an anonymous piece of fanfiction public under a pseudonymn.

It really comes off like he's taking her escapism personally rather than realizing its something we all do in some form (e.g., movies, books, videogames, etc.).

Pick posted:

It's pretty clear that men are horrible people until a woman comes into their lives and civilizes them. But it might be possible to jumpstart this process with a Welcome to the Monkey House solution that removes men from their sexual obsession. When a man destroys himself, it's almost always over sex, because in his mind he is a butterfly. Butterflies are the sexual morph of the caterpillar animal, many don't even have functioning mouthparts. They are gently caress tools with wings and they just care about loving and they'll fly thousands of miles to gently caress and aside from that they don't give a poo poo about anyone or anything.

Pick posted:

It's pretty clear that men are horrible people until a woman comes into their lives and civilizes them. But it might be possible to jumpstart this process with a Welcome to the Monkey House solution that removes men from their sexual obsession. When a man destroys himself, it's almost always over sex, because in his mind he is a butterfly. Butterflies are the sexual morph of the caterpillar animal, many don't even have functioning mouthparts. They are gently caress tools with wings and they just care about loving and they'll fly thousands of miles to gently caress and aside from that they don't give a poo poo about anyone or anything.

zakharov posted:

Pick your trolling today is a bit too obvious, dial it back like 10% and try again tomorrow

Improbable Lobster posted:

I mean, she's right about butterflies. There are lots of insects that don't have mouths or even a digestive tract as an adult since all they do is gently caress and die.

Pick posted:

If men aren't like the loathsome desert hornytard then why do they keep falling "in love" with female coworkers, many of whom are happily in relationships?

WampaLord posted:

If women aren't broken children in need of a guiding hand, why do they keep falling "in love" with much older men, many of whom are happily in relationships?

quote:

I know the title is provocative but it's how its how I've felt lately.

Me and my boyfriend met in college as freshman. I was a computer science major and he was working on a finance degree. He was a charming slacker (I thought) who was social and more focused on people/relationships/partying than getting good grades studying hard and participating in extra-curriculars. As our relationship progressed I fell deeply in love with him and his easygoing and laidback approach to life. I rationalized I would be okay with making more money/having a more serious career, since it appeared he wasn't taking it seriously.

While I thought the result of the way he approached college would result in poor grades he instead managed to drink/smoke his way through college getting a 3.94 cumulative, while I put hours into studying and got a 3.21. Then I thought the fact that I chose a difficult major (Computer Science) while he chose a dying field to specialize in (Finance) would give me better prospects after college. But lo and behold his job out of college started him off at 150k a year on Wall-Street while I started at 40k.

From there he proceeded to get rapid promotions while he bounced himself up to a 500k salary and a VP position, all while seeming to spend a lot of time golfing/playing basketball and generally loving around with his work buddies and friends rather than actually working hard. On the other hand I was working my rear end off at my computer science job and have only slowly progressed to an 85k a year salary.

And just today the thing that pushed me over the edge and made me write this understandably bitchy post is the fact that, the fucker just picked up programming. About a month ago he told me that he thought it would be fun to learn C++ and Matlab so he doesn't have to rely on programmers to write his algorithms. Now he programs and writes fluently (maybe better than me, who am I kidding he does write better than me) in C++ a language that I actually went to school to learn rather than googling tutorials and "messing around". Additionally I don't even understand Matlab and for some reason couldn't pick it up as fast as he could despite working in C++ almost every day for my job.

I don't even know what the point of this post is, it's just so frustrating that he can just slack off goof around and worry more about planning friends (and me and my kids) birthday parties, and brunches and camping trips than his job and still be way more successful. And he doesn't even give a poo poo about his career just yesterday he was trying to convince me to retire with him and travel around the US with our kids in a RV visiting national parks. Two days ago he got ridiculously high at work for 4/20 and organized a pizza party at work for his organization (All of which is against their companies rules and the law in our state) rather than actually focusing on getting work done. Did he get in trouble? Spoiler, he didn't, I don't understand why everything always seems to just work out for him

I should stop writing this wasn't even a coherent post. I don't really have anything real to complain I just needed to vent about this since he's a wonderful husband and father, but gently caress does he piss me off with his accidental excellence at every loving thing he does.

TLDR: I give a poo poo about what I do and work hard and struggle at work. My Husband has never took work/school seriously and goofs around finding success everywhere and it really pisses me off.

quote:

Im having difficulty understanding why you are jealous rather than happy for him. Does he rub it in your face? Does he act selfish? I could understand you would not feel like a team if he had done things to make you feel that way. But your post doesn't mention that at all.

The OP posted:

No, that's the frustrating part about it. He's happy to call me the smart one and never talks about his success. But at this point its become so glaringly obvious he's more successful. I can't even chalk it up to finance being an easier field, since apparently now he can program too.
Maybe sexism is at play

ravenkult posted:

I know calling fake is frowned upon, but that sounds like an MRA bait post. ''Maybe sexism is at play'' was the giveaway.

quote:

I know this is going to sound creepy, but just hear me out.

About 8 months ago, a guy moved in next door. He moved in with his son, who was then about 2 or 3 months old. He's a young guy, in his mid-to-late twenties, lives alone. We're neighbors and our apartments share two walls - bathroom and bedroom. To get to the elevators, I have to pass his front door.

There is a lot of sound bleed in the bathroom and I can hear my neighbour and his son. During bath time, I'll hear uncontrollable baby laughter and the muffled sounds of someone meowing "la cucaracha". Sometimes I'll just sit and listen to them laughing and playing. I've found myself listening as I walk by the door, the kid laughing and playing with his dad. When the kid is crying, I'll hear him consoling his son. He never sounds upset, or angry. I'm always amazed and just how calm and resilient he is for a single father. Sometimes I'll stand there and listen for a minute as the two play. I find myself smiling and thinking about them.

He takes his son to his mother's (baby's grandmother) house in the morning and leaves fairly early. We often take the elevator together and walk in the same direction so we've had the opportunity to frequently have morning chats. I've learned that he's going to night school to earn a second degree; his son was eating solid food at 6 months and eats like a big kid; he doesn't get out much and that the baby's mother doesn't really see him.

So, if that isn't creepy enough.....

He has a very fixed schedule, so sometimes I'll re-arrange things so I can sit in my empty bathtub and listen to them laugh during bath time. I'll walk by and hear Peppa Pig or Paw Patrol on Saturday morning with the baby giggling and his dad making funny voices and I'll stop just beyond the door to listen to them for a minute or two.

I really like this guy, and he has such a sweet demeanor. He's smart, and funny and charming. We flirt every morning on our quick walk and joke about running into one another the following morning at the elevator.

Would it be really bad to ask him on a date? My lease is up and I'm moving to a smaller place in a couple of weeks, but I feel like I would always regret not asking him out. I am so smitten with him and if I moved and lost contact, I think I'd always ask "what if?"

The thing is, is this just too weird? Would he be really creeped out?

BTW - the mother is alive, but not really involved. She has called when we're in the elevator to cancel picking-up the kid. So I do know he has a mother, I'm not dreaming of being the baby's main female parent, or anything.

tl;dr: I am in love with the guy living next door and want to ask him out. He's got a young son and I listen to them together and sometimes imagine being part of their fun. Would it be really weird to ask him on a date?

WampaLord posted:

Here's a woman who's terrible and doesn't know what she has:

My (35F) Husband (35M) is too good (lucky?) at everything and its bullshit


Well sure, if he constantly rubs his success in her face...

Improbable Lobster posted:

I changed my mind, I'm more of a mayfly. Exploding out of the water, yelling "COME gently caress THIS" only to be snatched up by a bird or fish.