Rough Lobster posted:

Penises can be gray?

Who What Now posted:

You don't have to watch it to know it exists. There's porn of grandmas in wheelchairs sucking dick out there. I just made that up, but I know for a fact its out there, somewhere.

Slugworth posted:

You have to take a lot of colloidal silver

Pick posted:

How do you get great balls of fire?

Elsa posted:

lol pick where's this "whole genre" of smegma porn

Subjunctive posted:

Are you saying that there are meaningful subgenres?

Elsa posted:

the way quotes work is someone before me used those words usually

Elsa posted:

the way quotes work is someone before me used those words usually

Who What Now posted:

Its called Google, mate.

Subjunctive posted:

Right, but "whole genre" doesn't mean there's a lot, just that it's a distinct type, so I didn't know where you were headed.

Subjunctive posted:

Are you saying that there are meaningful subgenres?

Elsa posted:

Elsa hosed around with this message at Apr 23, 2017 around 7:11 PM

Elsa posted:

Elsa hosed around with this message at Apr 23, 2017 around 21:11

quote:

My (36M) girlfriend (33f) of two years can't get over my pastRelationships

Throwaway because she knows I'm a Redditor. Also, apologies in advance if this turns into a wall of text.

I got lucky when I got out of university and landed myself a job in the financial sector. I worked long hours in a stressful position but it paid very well. I was a junior in an office surrounded by guys older than me that were constantly trying to out do each other, bragging about some watch that cost thousands of pounds, cars that cost more than most people's homes, holidays in 5 star hotels or on private yachts somewhere exotic. Basically, think Wolf of Wall Street and you're not far off. Unfortunately, I was young and impressionable and got caught up in the atmosphere, trying to keep up with the "big boys" even though I was only earning a fraction of what these guys were on. Don't get me wrong, I was on very good money (certainly better than most people my age at the time) but I was frivolous with it and wasted it as soon as I got it. Even though my parents kept warning me to save for a rainy day, I ignored them and spent spent spent like it was never going to run out. Big mistake.

Then we the financial crisis hit in 2007 and everything went wrong. Even though we weren't bankers, people started mistrusting investment firms and the cash flow dried up because they didn't want to gamble what money they had while the market was so volatile. I won't bore you with the details, but I ended up losing my job and with no savings and no income, I was forced to move home. My friends who had been so keen to hang out with me when I was the one buying all the drinks suddenly "forgot" my number. My girlfriend decided it was time to take a break, then promptly ignored me. I suddenly realised that most of the people in my life didn't actually like me, they just liked what they could get out of me and vowed that if and when I got myself back on my feet, I would never let myself get used like that again.

Years later, I've got a steady job. I don't earn as much as I used to, but I do earn a decent salary. I've moved out of my parents' place and have my own flat. I have a second hand car. I have a savings account which is healthy enough that should things go wrong and I lose my job, I could still get by comfortably while I find a new one. And I have a girlfriend. We'll call her Steph.

We've been together about two years now and things have been (for want of a better word) cosy. Steph will come over, I'll cook, we'll spend the evening watching DVDs. If the weather's nice at the weekend, we'll go for a picnic or a walk and have lunch in the pub. It's a very different pace to my old life, but I enjoy it.

Unfortunately, not so long ago some of my former colleagues posted pictures from the old days and tagged me on some of them. There's me at a hotel in Dubai. There's me in a cocktail bar in Vegas. There's me at a strip club in London, at a fancy restaurant in Paris, at a cafe in Amsterdam... you get the idea. Steph sees these and starts asking why I don't do any of that any more? How come I haven't taken her to Paris? Why do I insist on cooking instead of taking her to a fancy restaurant? And so on and so on.

For some reason, it really seemed to bother Steph. I tried explaining to her that I back then I was young and dumb and didn't think about my future at the time and I'm not that guy anymore. That I hadn't valued my money while I had it so I wasted it and now I didn't want to make the same mistake again. That my lifestyle in my former life was intense and unhealthy and that I much prefered how I live now and that, in a way, it took the mistakes of my past to really appreciate what we have together.

I don't know why, but this didn't seem to help. She kept going on about Paris and restaurants, how I was a tightarse and a skinflint, that I obviously cared more about my wallet than I did about her, and how she was insulted that I'd done a bunch of things that she'd always wanted to do (trips to Paris etc) but now had no interest in sharing those experiences with her. I tried explaining that I hadn't actually wanted to go to Paris but I'd been badgered into it by my colleagues and hated it so didn't want to go back again. That cooking is very calming for me and I actually prefer eating something I've made myself than wasting money on overpriced food just because it's "fancy." Sure, I'll take her out on her birthday or our anniversary (and I have done), but I don't see the point of doing it every week.

Steph doesn't see it this way. She doesn't know how much money I have in the bank (I'm very wary of letting people know how much I have after all my old friends disappeared) but she knows that I have some and doesn't seem to understand why I'm reluctant to spend it. I'm paraphrasing here, but she basically wondered why "You were quite happy doing all these fun, exciting things before but now you're with me you've turned into a born again Scrooge."

Now she's posting links to holidays on Facebook and saying things like "I wish" if her friends ask her if she's got something booked, or commenting on pics her friends post from their nights out. As hints go they're not particularly subtle and, frankly, I'm getting tired of it. I'm almost tempted to book a weekend somewhere (not Paris, though. No offence to any French Redditors out there, but I really don't want to go back there) just to shut her up but, at the same time, I don't see why I should have to. I mean, she knew what I was like when she met me and got involved with me, shouldn't that still be enough for her now?

TL;DR: Girlfriend found out that I used to have, and spend, money and is upset that I'm happier not doing so now. Am I being the arsehole here or is Steph being as unreasonable as I think she is?

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Steph is bad news.

Elsa posted:

no hold on. I prepared the post and when I posted with my phone it changed it to a gifv instead of a gif.

Elsa posted:

lol pick where's this "whole genre" of smegma porn

chernobyl kinsman posted:

man-pissing is great and it's a fundamental crime of biology that women will never be able to experience nor comprehend its transcendental joy

Pick posted:

quote:

My [28 F] husband [31 M] wants to name our baby after his dead ex-wife, who he killed in self defense.

He was married before, when he was 25. The marriage lasted almost two years. She was abusive towards him, and one day she attacked him with a knife. Cut him pretty bad. He pushed her away, and she fell and cracked her skull. She died in the hospital later that day. Her fingerprints on the knife and his blood all over the place proved she was the aggressor, and he wasn't charged.

He doesn't think she deserved to die, and he wants to name our unborn daughter after her to honor her memory. I don't want to. She was a psychotic attempted murderer and I say good riddance to her. What do I do?

tl;dr: Husband accidentally killed his ex-wife, who was trying to kill him, and now he wants to name our baby after her.

Pick posted:

No one is allowed to be a victim anymore, now they're just "survivors". It is dressed up, this rhetorical point, this niggling semantic. The reason is because a survivor sounds strong, and a victim sounds weak. But a victim is weak, they have been victimized. The weakness solicits our instinct to correct, and to nurture. A victim needs justice, a survivor does not. The entire progressive movement has been co-opted. They have stripped the pathos from humanity's most vulnerable. They are evil

Bibliotechno Music posted:

Hey man, I'm a woman and pissing outside is one of my greatest joys! I have a mental map of all my favorite alley peein' spots and make frequent use of them.

quote:

, "he's not perfect but he's a three-legged horse who does what I say, and he cleans up nice."

M_Sinistrari posted:

I know this is from many pages back, I think around 986-987, and I'm still reading through the thread to see if it was answered, but did was it ever said what
meant?

I've tried googling both the phrase and the reddit header and haven't found a thing. I get the cleans up nice part but I haven't a clue about the three legged horse part.

quote:

Last night my Dad left me a voicemail on my cellphone saying "I'm dumping Mom soon, getting with Kayla, me and your Mom was good, but for me it was getting too much hard work, too stressful, with Kayla everything's better."

I've known Kayla for 6 years now, she's an American expat living in Canada (well, Toronto). She moved here from Dallas, Texas, and we became firm friends; met in college.

Anyway, I feel angry, bitter and crushed. My dad keeps preaching about honesty/loyalty in relationships and then he does this?
Is he a hypocrite?

I haven't told my Mom but she doesn't know yet.

I thouight I had a good relationship with my Dad now I'm questioning the whole thing.
Kayla's already posted profile pics of herself on Instagram with my dad, including her wearing a bikini and cuddling up to my dad on the boot of some SUV in a
carpark (WTH, WTF??) On her Instagram one photo of her cuddling up to my Dad says:

He's mine... leaving his wife FOR ME!!!! hashtagcouple hashtagsexytimes hashtaghotandsexy

I don't know what to feel, and don't have a great support network, my sister lives in Los Angeles (my sister's 32/F) and I don't see her often due to distance.
I want help and advice on how to cope, this is all a shock to me.

Bobby Digital posted:

Smegmawave

military cervix posted:

Sounds healthy!

Whorelord posted:

I (28F) found out my dad is dumping Mom for my best friend (25F) and I don't know how to cope.