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Green goon, just wear red glasses all the time. You won't see green anymore, and you can pretend to be Cyclops
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 15:41 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 13:45 |
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ALFbrot posted:Green goon, just wear red glasses all the time. You won't see green anymore, and you can pretend to be Cyclops This worked great for forums superstar and ladies man Two Worlds
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 15:48 |
wasn't there a goon who's Halloween costume involved red lenses, and he said it completely hosed him up all night and it took a couple days to get normal vision back?
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 16:19 |
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SniperWoreConverse posted:wasn't there a goon who's Halloween costume involved red lenses, and he said it completely hosed him up all night and it took a couple days to get normal vision back? That would explain why the lead singer of Chevelle gets so worked up at the end of their hit song "The Red" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trinU3VD1Zo&t=194s
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 16:23 |
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The Schwa posted:To the extent that it would preclude them having sex? My take on it was that he wasn't precluded from having sex by anything but his own social awkwardness really, but is just super nervous about doing a good job; the only thing a genital aversion was preventing was him watching normal porn which, yes, is weird, but I remember a female friend of mine in high school asserting quite vehemently that girls don't actually like penises because they are gross, and elaborating unprompted that any girl who would willingly touch one with her mouth was just a weird anomaly, and a male friend who was actually quite social and popular reacting to someone else making a joke about eating pussy with really overdramatic revulsion and telling him to never say poo poo like that again. Some people are just kinda like that before they know any better. I think it's just a manifestation of sex being scary to you at that point in life. If this guy never got around to losing his virginity and is used to clean idealized cartoon porn it doesn't seem too far-fetched to me that he'd still have that same viewpoint. In which case, anon goon, chillax, it's actually a pretty normal body part. Just try to chillax in general. You are anxious, and anxiety isn't sexy for either party. Ask to go slow, and if she's worth your V-card in the first place she'll be fine with that. timp posted:That would explain why the lead singer of Chevelle gets so worked up at the end of their hit song "The Red" I remember buying this album at age 15 and being really, really, really disappointed by it after one listen and never picking it back up again
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 16:41 |
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loquacius posted:I remember a female friend of mine in high school asserting quite vehemently that girls don't actually like penises because they are gross, and elaborating unprompted that any girl who would willingly touch one with her mouth was just a weird anomaly,
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 16:51 |
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loquacius posted:My take on it was that he wasn't precluded from having sex by anything but his own social awkwardness really, but is just super nervous about doing a good job; the only thing a genital aversion was preventing was him watching normal porn Ah sure I'm not desperately offended or anything, it's understandable enough I guess. He'd better address it pretty quick though, people don't tend to react well to "grossed out by your body"
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 17:01 |
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Scared of green Goon: Do you live in the US? If yes, how the gently caress do you deal with money? Are the Green Bay Packers like demons from the pits of hell for you?
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 17:12 |
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virgin goon you're definitely not going to get it up if you're stressing about not knowing what you're doing and being a virgin and that'll be far more embarrassing so ofc don't tell her you're a virgin
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 17:17 |
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limp_cheese posted:Scared of green Goon: Do you live in the US? If yes, how the gently caress do you deal with money? Are the Green Bay Packers like demons from the pits of hell for you? also how do you go outside in the spring and summer when green is literally everywhere
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 17:18 |
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bradzilla posted:also how do you go outside in the spring and summer when green is literally everywhere Well he is a goon.
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 17:27 |
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Jose posted:virgin goon you're definitely not going to get it up if you're stressing about not knowing what you're doing and being a virgin and that'll be far more embarrassing Sex is a mutual thing, hiding something from her is just going to make it more likely that it's going to go poorly. If he doesn't let her know in advance she'll just think he's awful at sex, but if he tells her and she's not an rear end in a top hat she'll know to be more guiding rather than just being disappointed. As long as you aren't a really goony weirdo that makes it way more serious than it needs to be, confessing that you're a virgin shouldn't be a problem for any adult.
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 17:54 |
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Sex is a mutual thing, hiding something from her is just going to make it more likely that it's going to go poorly. If he doesn't let her know in advance she'll just think he's awful at sex, but if he tells her and she's not an rear end in a top hat she'll know to be more guiding rather than just being disappointed. As long as you aren't a really goony weirdo that makes it way more serious than it needs to be, confessing that you're a virgin shouldn't be a problem for any adult. I don't think Jose was being entirely serious quote:A lot of people aren't happy with the current President and aren't afraid of voicing that. Today is April 24th and I just started the first domino that'll hopefully end with Trump getting impeached. I'd be happy if this did happen, but I'm skeptical besides, nothing matters lol WARNING: following is an extremely long story about a haunted doll quote:This is a confession about something that happened to me when I was a kid. Nobody I've ever told this to believes me, my family refuses to discuss it any more, and even my therapist is convinced I imagined parts of it. But it's all true and hopefully at least one goon believes me. Yeah uh your therapist was probably right Here is where I'd say maybe there really was a doll head or something that looked like one in your wall that just wasn't haunted, but if your house had termites (or giant beetles) something else probably would have come of that so the entire experience was probably an invented memory
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 19:01 |
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loquacius posted:
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 19:16 |
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Is haunted doll story worth reading
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 20:27 |
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free basket of chips posted:Is haunted doll story worth reading https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeBjr8Bm_wA
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# ? Apr 26, 2017 20:39 |
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quote:I'm a big Alex Jones fan but God Forbid you mention this on Something Awful. Alex Jones is a ridiculous cartoon of a human being, as is this anon I always go off on anti-Semitic conspiracy theorists (so yeah it makes you think ) but I'm too tired right now, so: this is gibberish and you sound like a lunatic, leave it at that quote:At my job, you have to submit this form for expense reports. It itemizes your expenses and, here's the important part, you put down a 12 digit identification number that automatically routes it to the correct cost center. From there it either gets accepted or rejected. I'm in operations, so it routes to a different cost center than engineering or IT or hourly employees. yeahhhh be careful with that poo poo
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 03:25 |
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Nocheez posted:I don't know, but I expect your time is better spent (re)watching this:
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 03:38 |
Controversial Jews opinion: pretty ok in general. Like the blacks. Or asians. Or whites. Or Cherokees. Or Uzbeks. Or what the gently caress ever. The thing that gets me with a lot of conspiracies in general is that, yes it's in the best interests of most ultra rich / powerful people to have certain kinds of goals and policies happen. It's also likely that most conspiracies in these theories end up having extremely similar goals. That's not evidence that there's a conspiracy, it's evidence that people are loving insane assholes and there should be protections put in place to prevent too much assholery from happening. Also it's a weird scene for people to honestly look at trump and think he'd be a dude who heavily cares about sanctified marriages. Although banging escorts like that would probably tank almost all marriages.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 03:51 |
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Expenses fraud goon: that poo poo is going to get audited eventually, you will be found out, you will be fired and lucky to not end up facing charges.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 04:00 |
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What would he face charges for?
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 04:17 |
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Embezzlement.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 04:18 |
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How is it his fault they are auto approving things?
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 04:21 |
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Because he's knowingly racking up fraudulent charges
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 04:23 |
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The standard is beyond a reasonable doubt that he knew it was wrong. You don't expense your car payment to the company.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 04:29 |
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Somewhere in that expenses process will be a declaration to the effect that the expenses claimed were incurred during the course of his duties. They've willingly provided a false declaration for personal financial gain, that's fraud.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 05:26 |
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Makes sense then
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 05:27 |
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Embezzlement goon, don't sign anything at all when they eventually fire you. In fact, don't sign anything at all if they confront you with this. Just walk out the door. They'll try to get you to sign an affidavit stating either you knew it was wrong or that you agree to pay them back. Don't believe them that you'll keep your job if you sign it. You're probably hosed anyways, but not signing will make it more difficult on them.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 06:26 |
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Depending on the size of the company, you can probably get away with this for a couple of weeks/months/years. But it's a stupid thing to do regardless. At my company 2 people got fired because they abused their fuel card. Really lovely to lose your comfortable, well paying job because you wanted a free tank of gas imo
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 07:15 |
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The first offense was understandable, although I find it pretty unlikely you just happened to enter a number that someone else had. You most definitely will get caught so start applying for new jobs now. Payroll/hr people do sometimes seem incompetent and careless but they do periodically check things like this. It reminds me of a guy I was in grad school with who thought he was so clever for applying for reimbursement for plane tickets etc from multiple sources. It worked once, so he kept doing it until somebody noticed and he had to pay it all back. It probably didn't help that he would never shut up about what he was doing to anyone that would listen, but the point still stands that they will find out eventually.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 07:28 |
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Also, if your company isn't completely poo poo, they should have an external auditor periodically coming in and going over this stuff. So even if you think your HR/finance people are dunces, don't be so sure about the auditor, their whole job is literally based around finding people like you.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 07:52 |
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Sorry haunted doll goon, I didn't read your long-rear end boring fake confession, maybe write more concise and worthy stories next time
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 08:19 |
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Kim Jong ill posted:Also, if your company isn't completely poo poo, they should have an external auditor periodically coming in and going over this stuff. So even if you think your HR/finance people are dunces, don't be so sure about the auditor, their whole job is literally based around finding people like you. I mean a CEO's expense list is gonna have stuff like first class plane tickets, car services, huge bar tabs, maybe an escort service, and then here's a random receipt from a Ralph's and a Honda dealership. You're boned, dude
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 11:21 |
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This unlikely number entering poo poo reminds me of the one time many many moons ago I wanted to install Starcraft from CD (like I said, a long time ago) and when it prompted me for a serial I had but was not in reach I just halfhearteldy entered something random and the installer accepted it on the first try. Tried that again with that installer and many other things over the years, never managed to do it again. What are possibly the chances? Anyways embezzlement goon, I wouldn't wanna be you. It will be found out, almost guaranteed. Like it has been said, never admit or agree to anything, don't put anything in writing, don't even discuss this with anyone in emails. You'll probably still get hosed but it will make it harder.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 13:24 |
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The thing that gets me is how petty the stuff he's claiming is. Usually when people embezzle they go big and take as much as they can and leave before anyone finds out, not just use it to get free gas and groceries. I say go all out, get reimbursed for a ferrari or two and then flee the country. At least then you'll be remembered as the guy who stole hundreds of thousands of dollars instead of the guy who took 60 bucks once a week or so. I know you're thinking "but they'll notice that and I'll get caught", but, well, as has been said repeatedly, that's already the case.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 13:31 |
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Police Automaton posted:You'll probably still get hosed but it will make it harder. The loving willbr harder?! Admit to everything, embezzlement goon! It will be harder hell yeah!
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 13:33 |
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quote:I helped my grandmother kill herself and my confession is I'm not sure if I did the right thing. Eh this is a political argument I don't really feel like having, but I don't think you murdered anyone; I don't think you even "killed" anyone really. Dementia is a scary thing and I don't blame your grandma for not wanting to go through it. Personally I hope something kills me before my mind goes like that. quote:I had to give a big presentation at work in front of dozens of VIPs including the CEO, several VPs, and a handful of new potential clients that would have doubled or tripled our revenue if we brought them on. This was totally a make-or-break moment for me, and I spent hours and hours fine-tuning my presentation and getting it exactly where I wanted it to be. I had my powerpoint loaded up and ready to go, and I took my laptop home to practice and have my wife proofread everything multiple times.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 15:46 |
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The way that first one is written makes me think it's the same writer as that one dad goon one a couple days ago where his son ran away. It has the same annoying tendency in the first couple paragraphs to start sentences with verbs without pronouns. If you're going to send in fake ones at least vary the writing style.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 15:54 |
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Dead Gran Goon, that happened to my Gran (now dead, I didn't kill her) too. She busted her hips, but they never healed properly (even after they were replaced) inside so it got infected and because she was so doddery and infirm anyway it went unnoticed for years. Turns out it was an infection and it got to her brain and that's why she went a bit barmy and started seeing poo poo and thought I was my dead uncle. Sucks, dude. Don't bash yourself too hard. If it's real, obviously.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:08 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 13:45 |
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Dead grandma goon: She was old and falling apart so she didn't t have long to live. She was probably in a living hell and wanted ro die more than she could communicate. I have a grandmother that survuved two husbands, cancer, and is constantly in the hoslital for pneumonia. Last time I talked with her she was exhausted and just wanted to loving die already. Honestly what you did showed that you truly loved her. It's obviously really sad and take some time to grieve. If she left you an inheritance use that to go out and have some fun. Think of it as the last gift from her for setting her free.
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# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:21 |