Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

MinorInconvenience: Feb 24, 2017; Criminal lawyer or criminal, lawyer. Yeah. No difference.

quote:

This is a challenge that excites us and one we gladly accept. To paraphrase John F Kennedy, �We chose to do this, not because it is easy, but because it is hard.�

And Croberts is truly delusional to invoke the Apollo program when talking about his stupid game. Maybe if they had the Apollo budget of $25 billion they could do it. But given Crobert's track record, maybe not even then.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:26

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# ? May 15, 2024 05:57

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

XK posted:

You forgot to strike out "game".

It's a Friday. I'm relentlessly optimistic on a Friday. They may release something technically described as a 'game'.

Lack of Gravitas posted:

looks like its pot noodles for dinner for the next month for me then, gotta help CIG get over that last hurdle somehow

Only YOU can fund this game to play the way YOU want it to. Remember, YOU have to believe, and it's ONLY YOU that can save the BDSSwhatever.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:28

Lack of Gravitas: Oct 11, 2012; Grimey Drawer

Crobbers posted:

My challenge to the community was �YOU set the ambition by your level of support.� We have been holding our side of the bargain ever since.

I'm sorry I've let you down, Chris, I promise to do better in the future :negative:

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:29

DarkRefreshment: May 5, 2015; Nothing is funnier than a dog in a formal outfit. Look it up on the internets.

D_Smart posted:

Powered by DREAMS!

Derek, don't be a loving amateur. You've got to use the word "dreams" at least 3 times in two sentences to get on his level. You get half a point if you use a form of "imagine"

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:31

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

DarkRefreshment posted:

Derek, don't be a loving amateur. You've got to use the word "dreams" at least 3 times in two sentences to get on his level. You get half a point if you use a form of "imagine"

We're throwing dreams at the wall and seeing what sticks.

https://twitter.com/PeterMolydeux/status/845694141044535296

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:34

tooterfish: Jul 13, 2013

Lack of Gravitas posted:

looks like its pot noodles for dinner for the next month for me then, gotta help CIG get over that last hurdle somehow

They haven't even got over the first one yet.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:37

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

https://twitter.com/RobertsSpaceInd/status/858086943673995264

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:35

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

AP posted:

https://twitter.com/RobertsSpaceInd/status/858086943673995264

"I pre-ordered Squadron 42 and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"

edit: "7� shipping and only 1 item per purchase"

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:38

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

DarkRefreshment posted:

Derek, don't be a loving amateur. You've got to use the word "dreams" at least 3 times in two sentences to get on his level. You get half a point if you use a form of "imagine"

Right. My bad.

Their dreams are powered by the dreams that we dream.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:42

MinorInconvenience: Feb 24, 2017; Criminal lawyer or criminal, lawyer. Yeah. No difference.

Hav posted:

"I pre-ordered Squadron 42 and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"

edit: "7� shipping and only 1 item per purchase"

Is it just one item at a time, or one type of item at a time? Could I buy the shirt and the mousepad together?

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:43

Tank Boy Ken: Aug 24, 2012; J4G for life; Fallen Rib

MinorInconvenience posted:

Is it just one item at a time, or one type of item at a time? Could I buy the shirt and the mousepad together?

Only in your dreams ^^.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:46

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

MinorInconvenience posted:

Is it just one item at a time, or one type of item at a time? Could I buy the shirt and the mousepad together?

Limited items, too. Seriously, this is some top notch marketing. Scummy as all hell, but you have scarcity, extra fees...

So apparently you can't buy a cap with anything else. You can't buy a shirt with anything else. Truly ruthless.

Hav fucked around with this message at 23:51 on Apr 28, 2017

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:47

tooterfish: Jul 13, 2013

MinorInconvenience posted:

Is it just one item at a time, or one type of item at a time? Could I buy the shirt and the mousepad together?

Woah there, slow down buddy.

I know CIG are the most innovative tech company ever created, but how about we stow the loving pipe dreams and keep things realistic here?

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:47

MinorInconvenience: Feb 24, 2017; Criminal lawyer or criminal, lawyer. Yeah. No difference.

Hav posted:

Limited items, too. Seriously, this is some top notch marketing. Scummy as all hell, but you have scarcity, extra fees...

Holy poo poo! S&H payday, motherfuckers!!

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:50

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

quote:

CIG said :
Hi everyone ! You can only buy the items one by one, and no that's not a bug. The shipping fees looks high, but in fact, that's us loving you in the rear end without a single care in the world while you give us the thumbs up and shout "DEEPER!!", enjoy your Korean made crap you dumb fucks.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:50

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

MinorInconvenience posted:

Holy poo poo! S&H payday, motherfuckers!!

I was disappoint. I could rock this look;

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:54

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

Hav posted:

We're throwing dreams at the wall and seeing what sticks.

https://twitter.com/PeterMolydeux/status/845694141044535296

Too real Peter. That's too real.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:55

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

big nipples big life posted:

Look at that loving belt! this is obviously not true to life.

# ? Apr 28, 2017 23:59

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

Hav posted:

We're throwing dreams at the wall and seeing what sticks.

https://twitter.com/PeterMolydeux/status/845694141044535296

NURSE!! HE'S OUT OF BED AGAIN!!

(Fake Pete M account is good)

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:00

MinorInconvenience: Feb 24, 2017; Criminal lawyer or criminal, lawyer. Yeah. No difference.

You know, about a month ago I went on a drunken rant on this forum begging backers to get out of this thing and get refunds. I felt sorry for them. I really did. Having seen the little guy get hosed over by corporations many times in the past, I didn't particularly want to see it again.. But you know, at a certain point it's a question of personal responsibility.

Having paid too much attention to this poo poo in the last couple of months, I gotta say, any remaining backers deserve EVERY-loving-THING that happens to them now. No reasonably functional adult human can read Crobert's last missive and watch this merchandise sale and not think, hmm... this just ain't right.

So all you backers out there (yes, you too MoMA), enjoy losing your money you stupid loving tools. I will just sit back and laugh at your stupidity. Just like those Fyre Festival assholes. Peace out!

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:03

DarkRefreshment: May 5, 2015; Nothing is funnier than a dog in a formal outfit. Look it up on the internets.

D_Smart posted:

Right. My bad.

Their dreams are powered by the dreams that we dream.

3 in one sentence. You refactored the poo poo out of that and one upped CR again. I think this fight is over.

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:03

DarkRefreshment: May 5, 2015; Nothing is funnier than a dog in a formal outfit. Look it up on the internets.

Hav posted:

I was disappoint. I could rock this look;

You still can. Got a McDonalds near by and a hatred of your self image?

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:07

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

MinorInconvenience posted:

You know, about a month ago I went on a drunken rant on this forum begging backers to get out of this thing and get refunds. I felt sorry for them. I really did. Having seen the little guy get hosed over by corporations many times in the past, I didn't particularly want to see it again.. But you know, at a certain point it's a question of personal responsibility.

Having paid too much attention to this poo poo in the last couple of months, I gotta say, any remaining backers deserve EVERY-loving-THING that happens to them now. No reasonably functional adult human can read Crobert's last missive and watch this merchandise sale and not think, hmm... this just ain't right.

So all you backers out there (yes, you too MoMA), enjoy losing your money you stupid loving tools. I will just sit back and laugh at your stupidity. Just like those Fyre Festival assholes. Peace out!

I hear you, friendo. Most of us are of the same opinion. Which is why /r/StarCitizen_Refunds/ was setup by Goons as a rescue effort. But you can't save people who don't want to be saved. :argh:

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:07

NoMas: Oct 2, 2013; Man Moth!?

Nicholas posted:

CIG has new merch for sale and they are making it so you can only buy 1 item at a time, and are charging exorbitant shipping prices on each item purchased

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/684qon/new_merchandize/

$13 dollars for shipping and handling on a $15 t-shirt

also store credit doesn't cover shipping and handling fee's

and of course limited merch for people who dont already pay them a tithe

Hmmm, I'm getting an error when I try to add more than one thing to my cart. Wanted to order a couple 3XL shirts and get the following error:

"skus: Cannot purchase more than 1 item at once with 3XL"

But it'll even say this if I add the mousepad or hat when I have a shirt in my cart. And the shipping for one shirt was $8 so I don't really want to do that for each one.

Edit - seems to be any items for me, I can't buy more than one thing it's saying. I could see not more than 1 of each but I wanted to buy two different shirts.

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:09

Evil_Greven: Feb 20, 2007; Whadda I got to,
whadda I got to do
to wake ya up?

To shake ya up,
to break the structure up!?

Scruffpuff posted:

Not to mention, how much longer are they going to be able to depend on this loop:

- Promise X
- Fail to deliver X
- Release patch without X
- Claim X was moved to next patch
- Repeat ad infinitum

I'm also wondering how much longer they're going to be able to claim their fake scam video game is real with the smoke and mirrors releases. Derek is right about the "planet" stuff coming: it's a single flat Star Marine level on a featureless "moon" with a few rocks.

It's just a level, and it loads in. It's not really on a "planet", it doesn't exist in the Star Citizen universe proper (meaning you can't fly down to a planet, hover low and watch the Commando's t-posing in real time) because to this day, there's no such thing as planets, or even ships. Just ship-skinned NPC characters noclipping through space and exploding near some broken, horribly-modeled "space stations" in a single system that has no stars or planets - just pics of them on a generic space backdrop they stole off GIS.

I'm dying to know how many more millions of dollars this new Star Marine level will bring in, since it will "prove" planetary tech is moving along, it just needs a new buzzword to refactor the pipelines and they can just copy/paste out the procedural generation with that hand-crafted touch that makes all the NPCs live their own lives in a totally real universe all in real time with all the PVP or non-PVP (depending on player preference) that you can handle.

How is this loving scam still running in almost-May of 2017 with nothing to show for years of this poo poo???

I like that Space Engineers had this literally years ago with a tiny rear end team.

e: also gameplay

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:09

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

DarkRefreshment posted:

You still can. Got a McDonalds near by and a hatred of your self image?

YES AND YES!

I still need the hat, though.

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:09

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

Hav posted:

Limited items, too. Seriously, this is some top notch marketing. Scummy as all hell, but you have scarcity, extra fees...

So apparently you can't buy a cap with anything else. You can't buy a shirt with anything else. Truly ruthless.

That is pretty wild, and, I think, unprecedented.

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:28

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

MinorInconvenience posted:

You know, about a month ago I went on a drunken rant on this forum begging backers to get out of this thing and get refunds. I felt sorry for them. I really did. Having seen the little guy get hosed over by corporations many times in the past, I didn't particularly want to see it again.. But you know, at a certain point it's a question of personal responsibility.

Having paid too much attention to this poo poo in the last couple of months, I gotta say, any remaining backers deserve EVERY-loving-THING that happens to them now. No reasonably functional adult human can read Crobert's last missive and watch this merchandise sale and not think, hmm... this just ain't right.

So all you backers out there (yes, you too MoMA), enjoy losing your money you stupid loving tools. I will just sit back and laugh at your stupidity. Just like those Fyre Festival assholes. Peace out!

Yeah, there you go. You're coming around to both the true realization of Star Citizen, and to drunk posting in this thread.

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:31

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

One of us. One of us. Come on MinorIncovenience, you're so close.

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:32

Raskolnikov: Nov 25, 2003

The Titanic posted:

Oh, also because I want to get in on these predictions, a long time ago I predicted that we'd see a resurgence of FPS type gameplay and more Star Marine stuff; totally disconnected from the game proper since it'd be levels.

I made this prediction because Star Citizen is hard; and making an FPS game with CryEngine is not so hard. They can probably pull off a pretty decent one, too. There's tons of tutorials out there.

The real key to this shift will be getting people to buy into an FPS game instead of the promised space ship game. Best way to do this is by selling land based stuff.

Expect to see (for sale):
- More personal weapons
- More armors
- More clothes
- More land vehicles (don't forget the promo shot with the not-Mako 6 wheeled rover)
- Housing on planets
- Stores on planets
- Apartments on planets

Also there will be no big cities full of things to do. It will be crappy outposts and tents as far as you can walk with Mass Effect-like buildings.

Big cities will be their own levels.

I see Star Citizen coming together as science fiction FPS #75433456 with nothing new except your guys helmet with a my little pony icon cost you $16 real dollars, and your jacket costed you $10 real dollars, etc.

The space part will be a very tacked on, half baked mini game that will allow you to go from level to level. A very expensive space mini game though.

Also because CIG loves its player base, and wants to make a real game, I don't think they will ever allow players to purchase any ship for in game currency. Within the next two years we will see the starter ships get to be purchased for in game money, probably only up to the Freelancer. They won't release the stranglehold on their customers wallets until they can squeeze no more, and I can guess they'll go out of business before they release everything to the in game market.

Enjoy!

Scruffpuff posted:

You just described SWG.

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:34

Kellanved: Sep 7, 2009

Even with our current "gaming journalism", I'm surprised there's no coverage on this crap.

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:34

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

XK posted:

One of us. One of us. Come on MinorIncovenience, you're so close.

post balls.

Kellanved posted:

Even with our current "gaming journalism", I'm surprised there's no coverage on this crap.

They will, they're looking for something substantive other than a bunch of retards yelling about how it's a scam/notta-scam. We'll be due a yearly 'Is this ever coming out?' soon.

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:36

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

In honor of the new merch I will repost this video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZHElERa0JA

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:43

Golli: Jan 5, 2013

Since Amazon and CIG are partnered, someone should ask why CIG is doing the exact opposite of Amazon Prime for their merch sales.

Can any space lawyers opine on whether this rises to the level of an FTC complaint? Sort of like even payday loans have usury laws they have to abide by?

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:45

Wise Learned Man: Apr 22, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

Holy poo poo, that C-Robbz letter.

We're totally holding up our end of the bargain, what with all of the, uh, *nothing* you have there.
It's your fault the game isn't done, because you kept falling for our lies and deceptive marketing.
We're really special. And totally great at our jobs. Innovative, even.
If you're satified that you have contributed enough to please us, then fine. Don't give us any more.
But seriously, give us more.

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:48

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

Golli posted:

Can any space lawyers opine on whether this rises to the level of an FTC complaint? Sort of like even payday loans have usury laws they have to abide by?

They're at liberty to charge whatever they want as long as they indicate it up front before payment is taken.

It's just amusingly ruthless.

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:51

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

Currently listening to

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SniNUq9dddE

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:54

EmesiS: Feb 5, 2016

DarkRefreshment posted:

Better arguments were had with my wife when I told her I was spending $800 bucks on a face brick. I was desperate enough to use the line... "It will help with your golf swing"

Is she a hooker?

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:58

Rudager: Apr 29, 2008

Hav posted:

Limited items, too. Seriously, this is some top notch marketing. Scummy as all hell, but you have scarcity, extra fees...

So apparently you can't buy a cap with anything else. You can't buy a shirt with anything else. Truly ruthless.

I just want to see someone blow up when they order 2 things, have to pay seperate shipping and handling, and they both turn up in the same box.

# ? Apr 29, 2017 00:59

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# ? May 15, 2024 05:57

GreenElephant: Mar 22, 2016

quote:

Any deficiencies of alpha releases, or any deviations from game design decisions or schedule announcements may not be considered a breach of our obligations, and will not entitle you to a refund.

Huh, did that text always specifically mention "schedule announcements"? Guess I won't be refunding my shirt anytime soon

# ? Apr 29, 2017 01:02

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