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quote:I recently found out my girlfriend has a box of mementos from past relationships. I was a little bothered by it, but understand that those relationships shaped her to be the person she is today. Good luck trying to pretend you didn't do that and that you don't know what you know now and trying to play it cool whenever she brings up a past boyfriend and eventually thinking that it'll be alright to let slip that you looked through her personal stuff and her getting rightfully upset that you snooped and her never being able to trust you again and eventually dumping you. Good luck with all of that
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Apr 28, 2017 19:31
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loquacius posted:"holy poo poo this guy from 2012 made her cum 1980275392 times! I can't measure up to that!" Pfft, someone hasn't heard about playing with a little thing called her vagina. 
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Apr 28, 2017 19:43
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Solice Kirsk posted:Pfft, someone hasn't heard about playing with a little thing called her vagina. I have a hot scoop from my sources that it's all about the bellybuttons now.
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Apr 28, 2017 19:45
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Could the numbers be your size? Grab a ruler and find out!
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Apr 28, 2017 20:04
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Weight of genitals in troy ounces
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Apr 28, 2017 22:48
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I'm imagining this woman humming merrily as she washes stale cum out of condoms and hangs them on a clothesline to dry Also the numbers are probably the order
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Apr 28, 2017 23:57
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walmart goon have you considered eating expired meat and shutting out your colon like that other gbs hobo?
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Apr 29, 2017 00:11
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I didn't know Pick had a boyfriend.
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Apr 29, 2017 00:17
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Leavemywife posted:Could the numbers be your size? Grab a ruler and find out! I was thinking the same, but he didn't mention what the range of numbers were. walgreenslatino posted:Also the numbers are probably the order Seems like the dates on the cards would be enough for that, and that the guy would have figured that out on his own if that were true.
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Apr 29, 2017 01:45
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Only thing left to do is sneak back in there and actually record the numbers, then report back so the goon collective may solve the numerical dick riddle of boyfriends past
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Apr 29, 2017 03:11
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loquacius posted:I made my #1 goal in life to be the best father possible and, drat it, I think I did it Nope. loving fail.
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Apr 29, 2017 04:40
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Walmart goon please if you do not do this already, buy yourself some swim trunks and wear them while you shower in public before you end up in jail.
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Apr 29, 2017 05:01
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loquacius posted:Kid needs a lecture about boundaries and professionalism, needs to be made aware of how badly he screwed over his dad and his family for the sake of a joke that wasn't even funny, and needs to be grounded for a good long time, but spanking him at 13 years old is gonna send the wrong message (that message being "your father is your enemy now") Lol you have no kids. 13 year olds and "professionalism" lectures. loving snowflake.
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Apr 29, 2017 05:30
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Clockwerk posted:numerical dick riddle of boyfriends past New thread title
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Apr 29, 2017 05:48
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timp posted:Good luck trying to pretend you didn't do that and that you don't know what you know now and trying to play it cool whenever she brings up a past boyfriend and eventually thinking that it'll be alright to let slip that you looked through her personal stuff and her getting rightfully upset that you snooped and her never being able to trust you again and eventually dumping you. lol just confront her and send another confession with how it went because the relationship is doomed either way
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Apr 29, 2017 07:46
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Orange Cat posted:Lol you have no kids. 13 year olds and "professionalism" lectures. loving snowflake. sorry about my word choice  "snowflake" seriously, I didn't know Bruce Tinsley had an SA accountquote:My extremely wealthy/borderline hoarder Dad died back in October. He had a good life and was a great Dad and his frugal nature and savings meant he sent me to college and paid for it out of pocket, and he also put the down payment on my house when I moved out. I never had an idea of how much money Dad had. He still worked every day despite never needing to, he just kept saving that money. Honestly probably the healthiest reaction to finding out you're a millionaire I dunno if being so frugal that you save up 26 million dollars is really a thing, though, you'd still need an actual rich-person job. What did he do for a living? quote:3 weeks ago I took a combination of 300mg Robitussin and 300mg Benadryl (that's a full bottle of the tuss gels and like 12 pink pills). The resulting trip led me to thinking very deeply and clearly (though I was still high as hell so I'd get stuck thinking about the threads and the creation of my blanket or the combined lifespan of the trees outside my window, tangentially related thoughts like I think I'm doing right now?) about my life and and my upbringing (I lived with understanding and love, but I felt like a void) and my old habits and new ones and the anxieties I felt constantly and my fears about people, of being hurt and of understanding my place as a single human and the elasticity of the brain in being able to experience pain and move on. The thoughts connected and tied together way better when I was high but I'm sure you get the gist of it. I remembered bits of my childhood I had lost and the feelings I could feel back then that I hadn't felt in ages, purer love and joy and faith in myself and the world, and I had a new sense of how I fit in with the natural and the social worlds around me. TLDR: depressed autist takes drugs; has transformative experience I'm glad you're feeling better now, but honestly what I'm gleaning from this is that something is a little off in your baseline brain chemistry which these drugs interacted with, and you should probably be on psych medication of some kind. If you start to regress, I'd seek out a psychiatrist rather than self-medicating again. Slight variation on my usual  advice.
loquacius fucked around with this message at 13:26 on Apr 29, 2017 |
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Apr 29, 2017 13:22
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The timeline does add up, although he could have easily done what I did and googled "how long does it typically take inheritances to be processed", but the fact that he sold the house that fast still seems fishy. Maybe it's a lot faster if it's not contested and there is only one heir  Anyway yeah what you're doing is smarter than going out and buying a mansion and some new sports cars and hookers etc but hopefully you're at least investing some of that money. I'd also take a lesson from it and do something with your wealth within reason, both in the sense of enjoying it and spreading it around to worthwhile honest charities. It helps nobody, including yourself, if you follow your dad's hoarding tendencies and just let it gather dust in your savings account.
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Apr 29, 2017 13:35
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yeah I eat rear end posted:The timeline does add up, although he could have easily done what I did and googled "how long does it typically take inheritances to be processed", but the fact that he sold the house that fast still seems fishy. Maybe it's a lot faster if it's not contested and there is only one heir With a well worded will and only one beneficiary things can move pretty quickly. I'm going to second the "donate to charities" and think you should also donate to some museums in your city that you enjoy. Also hire a CPA and look into some Financial Planners/Advisors. Depending on what the money is invested in, you should really speak to someone about how to invest it to match your needs/goals vs what your dad left you. Other than that I think just every weekend or so taking your dads car out for a leisurely drive is a great way to remember him. Sorry for your loss man.
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Apr 29, 2017 13:52
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Solice Kirsk posted:With a well worded will and only one beneficiary things can move pretty quickly. I'm going to second the "donate to charities" and think you should also donate to some museums in your city that you enjoy. Also hire a CPA and look into some Financial Planners/Advisors. Depending on what the money is invested in, you should really speak to someone about how to invest it to match your needs/goals vs what your dad left you. Other than that I think just every weekend or so taking your dads car out for a leisurely drive is a great way to remember him. Sorry for your loss man. Or he can do whatever the gently caress he wants with his inheritance. I'd sit on the money because most charities are revealed to be scams anyway.
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Apr 29, 2017 14:18
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A dissociative plus deliriant cocktail is the sort of combo that leads people to cannibalize their neighbors, so, uh, good job on presumably not doing that, drug goon.
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Apr 29, 2017 14:57
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bradzilla posted:Or he can do whatever the gently caress he wants with his inheritance. I'd sit on the money because most charities are revealed to be scams anyway. A convenient belief that means you don't have to give anything. If only there was some way of ascertaining if a charity was legitimate before giving it money!
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Apr 29, 2017 14:58
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therattle posted:A convenient belief that means you don't have to give anything. If only there was some way of ascertaining if a charity was legitimate before giving it money! Perhaps we could have some kind of centralized body that we all agreed to give portions of our income or wealth to on a, say, annual basis and they then used that money for the good of everyone, like some kind of "public" good. Like roads, or schools, or fire departments. Things like that. Then everyone could benefit and you wouldn't have to personally vet each individual organization you were thinking about giving money to and you wouldn't have to feel guilty for not giving away more than was required of you.
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Apr 29, 2017 15:08
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bradzilla posted:Or he can do whatever the gently caress he wants with his inheritance. I'd sit on the money because most charities are revealed to be scams anyway. So start your own. What's the point of accumulating wealth if you don't do anything with it? He's a goon so will probably not have anyone to leave it to. At least use it to try and become an entrepreneur, or at the very least travel the world and have some good times. Do something with it. Staying at your probably dead-end computer janitor job while sitting on tens of millions of dollars is basically the most depressing life I can think of.
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Apr 29, 2017 15:11
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therattle posted:A convenient belief that means you don't have to give anything. If only there was some way of ascertaining if a charity was legitimate before giving it money! But there isn't so he should probably just donate it all to Ja Rule's legal defense fund. I personally would try not to blow it on dumb stuff but I imagine that this would be an incredibly tough temptation. But your dad taught you not to go crazy with it. Best of luck.
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Apr 29, 2017 15:11
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Vynar posted:But there isn't so he should probably just donate it all to Ja Rule's legal defense fund. The existence of corrupt charities doesn't mean people should just stop donating to any of them. Not all of them are corrupt, just do your research instead of picking whatever comes up on google for "good charity".
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Apr 29, 2017 15:19
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He could donate a tiny fraction to Lowtax to keep Shitposting Reservation afloat.
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Apr 29, 2017 15:22
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Atlas Hugged posted:Perhaps we could have some kind of centralized body that we all agreed to give portions of our income or wealth to on a, say, annual basis and they then used that money for the good of everyone, like some kind of "public" good. Like roads, or schools, or fire departments. Things like that. Then everyone could benefit and you wouldn't have to personally vet each individual organization you were thinking about giving money to and you wouldn't have to feel guilty for not giving away more than was required of you. Government utilities and taxes aren't charity, my dude.
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Apr 29, 2017 16:00
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bradzilla posted:Or he can do whatever the gently caress he wants with his inheritance. I'd sit on the money because most charities are revealed to be scams anyway. If only there were resources or websites of some kind that were all about tracking charities, analyzing how and where the money goes and tracking the controversies and scandals that they are part of. But alas, our internet is not capable of such a miracle.
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Apr 29, 2017 17:08
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quote:I have not told a soul about my financial windfall. I don't plan on quitting work, I guess Dad ingrained that into me. But it's incredibly freeing to know that I don't *need* the job, and could quit or be fired and have a safety net for some time. This is poor people thinking for people that don't understand money. If you have millions of dollars, your full time job is to invest and grow that money. Going to your 9-5 is a waste of time and a stupid thing to do. Go back to school, learn about finance and accounting, and then make your money work for you.
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Apr 29, 2017 17:24
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Help the poor and disenfranchised by buying drugs and pussy from them.
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Apr 29, 2017 17:33
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The Management posted:This is poor people thinking for people that don't understand money. If you have millions of dollars, your full time job is to invest and grow that money. Going to your 9-5 is a waste of time and a stupid thing to do. Go back to school, learn about finance and accounting, and then make your money work for you. This is loser talk. Spend it all on artisanal mayonnaise, drugs, and cars. Enjoy life and die young.
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Apr 29, 2017 17:45
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Doctor Malaver posted:He could donate a tiny fraction to Lowtax to keep Shitposting Reservation afloat. Rich goon should give like a hundred grand but pull a Carnegie hall or whatever and require it to be used to build a fancy new forum named after him
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Apr 29, 2017 17:50
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fruit on the bottom posted:If only there were resources or websites of some kind that were all about tracking charities, analyzing how and where the money goes and tracking the controversies and scandals that they are part of. But alas, our internet is not capable of such a miracle. Ok I legitimately didn't know this exists. Thanks for the helpful link and not rear end in a top hat snarky response. Oh wait.
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Apr 29, 2017 18:13
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That drug one reminded me of how awesome it used to be to get high, and also how loving boring drug people are if you're not high.
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Apr 29, 2017 18:17
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bradzilla posted:Ok I legitimately didn't know this exists. Thanks for the helpful link and not rear end in a top hat snarky response. Oh wait. Yeah, you tell him! It's not like you could have ever googled it yourself. I'm sure you're just so generous and now you'll be donating left and right. Good for you!
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Apr 29, 2017 18:36
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The Management posted:This is poor people thinking for people that don't understand money. If you have millions of dollars, your full time job is to invest and grow that money. Going to your 9-5 is a waste of time and a stupid thing to do. Go back to school, learn about finance and accounting, and then make your money work for you. Yep. 1% of 26 million is 260K a year. If you can figure out how to grow it 1% more than it would appreciate sitting in a bank, that's worth X of your day jobs. Unless you love your job and want to do it forever, go learn money management.
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Apr 29, 2017 18:47
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bradzilla posted:Government utilities and taxes aren't charity, my dude. It's semantics. The whole point of taxes is that we can pool funds to benefit the common good, be it through infrastructure development, public safety, or welfare systems. A charity that builds houses for the underprivileged is functionally no different than low income housing provided by the government through taxation (I mean yes obviously there are differences, but I'm talking ideologically and ideally).
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Apr 29, 2017 18:49
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Adar posted:Yep. 1% of 26 million is 260K a year. If you can figure out how to grow it 1% more than it would appreciate sitting in a bank, that's worth X of your day jobs. Unless you love your job and want to do it forever, go learn money management. If I had that kind of money I'd probably stick a large chunk in those Vanguard ETFs everyone jerks off about, and then go to a good business school and study finance to play around with a million or so. Not to open my own hedge fund or anything, just for the fun of it.
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Apr 29, 2017 18:58
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maskenfreiheit posted:If I had that kind of money I'd probably stick a large chunk in those Vanguard ETFs everyone jerks off about, and then go to a good business school and study finance to play around with a million or so. That would be good if you're looking to grow it and not live off of it. Even going to school and getting your 7 and 66 isn't usually enough to start managing your own money. Get someone else more knowledgeable in investing to help you with it. Two eyes and minds are better than one. I was an FA for almost a decade and now I'm a banker and I still have an FA of my own to keep me on track. Solice Kirsk fucked around with this message at 19:28 on Apr 29, 2017 |
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Apr 29, 2017 19:26
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bradzilla posted:Ok I legitimately didn't know this exists. Thanks for the helpful link and not rear end in a top hat snarky response. Oh wait. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Charity_review_websites Here's a bunch of them. You can even cross reference if you don't trust the evaluation that one of them gives.
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Apr 29, 2017 19:59
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