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Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

Congrats on traumatizing a poor naive virgin with your western fingers and terrible lies about Chin'a unstoppable economic rise and 5,000 years of harmonious government.

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Darkest Auer
Dec 30, 2006

They're silly

Ramrod XTreme
Boy, I know I just love reading about ethnic and political violence after sexy times.

Jimmy Little Balls
Aug 23, 2009
When I went out earlier there was a woman walking round the neighbourhood wearing her pyjamas which were see through with no bra on and a massive gently caress off pair of high heels. When I came back about an hour later she was still doing circuits.

randomcommoner
Sep 6, 2006
it's a-me
Haier you're reckless, thanks for the laughs you'll be missed :china:

His Divine Shadow
Aug 7, 2000

I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.

fits my needs posted:

Lmao, people weren't kidding when they said D&D had a tankie mod now. Ahahahahahahahahaha

What's a tankie?

ninjoatse.cx
Apr 9, 2005

Fun Shoe
Previous page, buddy.

His Divine Shadow
Aug 7, 2000

I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.
Yeah I caught up now

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Darkest Auer posted:

Boy, I know I just love reading about ethnic and political violence after sexy times.

Instead of cigarettes, let's dive into YouTube videos about the Pinochet years in Chile and a bottle of Two Buck Chuck

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel

Haier posted:

My Night: Monday, May 1st, 2017 CCPT.

She comes in to my house, gets nervous, and then says she heard guys refuse to have conversation and they only want sex. I told her noooo, not at all. We talked for a little while and then I got up to pee and came back to mostly-naked girl on my bed. We were making out and I tried to put a finger in and she made this loud, painful yelp. She said no man has ever put a finger in her before. I got up to put a condom on. I tried to put my penis inside of her, but she was fighting me every time I attempted. Locking her legs, rolling around, complaining, saying the Metro ride made her feel sick, she didn't eat a snack. I realized she was a virgin.

I asked if she was a virgin. "NO!!! I AM NOT! I met two men before you." I called her a liar. She doubled down and said I didn't know about sex. She rolled over and said no sex tonight, she can only sex her husband that she loves, and she has yet to meet such a man. Also she was hungry.

We watched some Youtubes about Tibetan and Xinjiang protesters getting beaten, and then I googled the Panama Papers stories about Uncle Xi. I said something about "Your president, Uncle Xi," and she said "He's not MY president." Thanks, Obama.
She said she wanted to buy a gun, because how else could the people rise up and overthrow the government? America was smart because they all had guns, but we Chinese don't. I told her about the impending housing bubble crash and the billion other things (besides people) that will destroy this country when the poo poo hits the economic fan, and she thought this will be a good way for the people to start a new revolution. She asked if it was possible for the USA to help China, because they helped Iraq and soon they will help North Korea (totally serious about how she thought it was help). I said no, no American freedom is coming to China. I just told her the government will mow everyone down with whatever gun they please while the regular citizen will be throwing pebbles and iPhones. She said "loving Xi!" about 50 times throughout the whole thing. "What a gently caress!"

As she was leaving, we had this -

*Sees a jar of spicy peanuts*
Her: "What is that? You like that?"
Me: "Yes, it's pretty good."
Her: "You buy Chinese food? Why would you eat Chinese food?"
Me: "What? I live here."
Her: "Do you like Chinese food?"
Me: "You're asking me about Chinese food in my house, which is in China, where I live?"
Her: "Don't eat it."
Me: "What am I going to eat?"
Her: "Foreign food."
Me: "I live in China."
Her: "Ok, I understand."

Edit: I said I wondered if the economic depression China gets into (praying for 2020) will be like the American Great Depression, and I explained many of the problems with that and the suicides and everything closing and Hoovervilles, etc. I said there's no way the government in China will do poo poo but blame foreigners or try to start a war, and maybe it will go back to Mao's famine style of government-ruled anarchy. She asked what I was talking about. What famine? I tried to explain about it. She had no idea. She got even more mad. She asked if it was possible to go outside China and make an army to invade China. I told her to go to Taiwan.

She's 26 or something.

"The Chinese capital’s spy hunters are offering people up to a half-million renminbi (more than $72,000) to help identify foreign espionage activities and catch the operatives responsible, Beijing newspapers said on Monday.

The Chinese government has long admonished citizens that they have a duty to catch foreign spies and their agents. Under President Xi Jinping, warnings have grown about spooks lurking near military bases or seducing lovelorn officials. There’s even a National Security Education Day to drum home the warnings.

But the Beijing Municipal Bureau of State Security has decided that appeals to pure patriotism are not enough. It’s offering cash for tips. Rewards for exposing espionage in the lowest category range from $1,450 to $7,240, according to rules that went into effect on Monday. The highest category offers rewards of more than $72,000."

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/10/world/asia/suspect-a-spy-is-lurking-in-beijing-speak-up-and-collect.html

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

hakimashou posted:

"The Chinese capital’s spy hunters are offering people up to a half-million renminbi (more than $72,000) to help identify foreign espionage activities and catch the operatives responsible, Beijing newspapers said on Monday.

The Chinese government has long admonished citizens that they have a duty to catch foreign spies and their agents. Under President Xi Jinping, warnings have grown about spooks lurking near military bases or seducing lovelorn officials. There’s even a National Security Education Day to drum home the warnings.

But the Beijing Municipal Bureau of State Security has decided that appeals to pure patriotism are not enough. It’s offering cash for tips. Rewards for exposing espionage in the lowest category range from $1,450 to $7,240, according to rules that went into effect on Monday. The highest category offers rewards of more than $72,000."

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/10/world/asia/suspect-a-spy-is-lurking-in-beijing-speak-up-and-collect.html

lol RIP Haier I didn't know you that well but I enjoyed your stories

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

BCR posted:

Someone applying Clausewitzs centre of gravity to international trade to show whos important at the time.

From memory, so yolo, world trade centred in the mediterean during the greek and roman empires by having the biggest volume and worth of trade, it then moved to the middle east with the new Islamic empires and collapse of the Roman Empires, wandered over again to the Mongol empire, then headed to europe with the renaisance then the atlantic with the conquest of americas then moved to the pacific with the decline of european empires and post decolonisation.

It was used by historians to show who was the great powers, using trade as one of the centres of gravity.

As a historical theory, its a slightly less retarded version of whoever runs Kazahkstan runs the world because its the heart of Eurasia and if you have the heart of Eurasia you can expand and influence towards the middle east, europe, russia, far east etc.

If this is true putting it in the himalayas is the most retarded thing ever

if we are going to ignore the arctic it should actually be somewhere over the north american west coast, if not just smack dab over north america

barbecue at the folks
Jul 20, 2007


What's gonna come of the thread after Haier gets disappeared by CCP spooks? I'm gonna miss his stories, even if they've put me off peanuts for life.

Volcott
Mar 30, 2010

People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.

barbecue at the folks posted:

What's gonna come of the thread after Haier gets disappeared by CCP spooks? I'm gonna miss his stories, even if they've put me off peanuts for life.

I hope he and the crazy Mongolian girl run away together.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Someone's watching this never ending stream of girls parade through is apartment and come to the logical conclusion they're all spys making info drops.

Ichabod Tane
Oct 30, 2005

A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.


https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4
Haier where do you find these abject dumbass women?

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010

Volcott posted:

I hope he and the crazy Mongolian girl run away together.

The Mongolian girl sounds pretty terrible. Chaoshan girl at least sounds salvageable.

When it comes to the standard "5000 years of cultural history" bullshit, has anyone tried bringing up an analogy to the Ship of Theseus? The situation always kind of reminded me of that. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ship_of_Theseus

ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus

Glenn Quebec posted:

Haier where do you find these abject dumbass women?

His phone. Duh!

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.

Haier posted:

*Sees a jar of spicy peanuts*
Her: "What is that? You like that?"
Me: "Yes, it's pretty good."
Her: "You buy Chinese food? Why would you eat Chinese food?"
Me: "What? I live here."
Her: "Do you like Chinese food?"
Me: "You're asking me about Chinese food in my house, which is in China, where I live?"
Her: "Don't eat it."
Me: "What am I going to eat?"
Her: "Foreign food."
Me: "I live in China."
Her: "Ok, I understand."

Is there a situation in Asia where people won't have the "foreigners can't eat our magical food" conversation?

Switzerland
Feb 18, 2005
Do what thou must do.

Glenn Quebec posted:

Haier where do you find these abject dumbass women?

China?

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Is there a situation in Asia where people won't have the "foreigners can't eat our magical food" conversation?

When I am eating what they prepared for dinner out for themselves out from under them like a prasitic worm in jeans and a tshirt.

Imperialist Dog
Oct 21, 2008

"I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\
:backtowork:

Jimmy Little Balls posted:

When I went out earlier there was a woman walking round the neighbourhood wearing her pyjamas which were see through with no bra on and a massive gently caress off pair of high heels. When I came back about an hour later she was still doing circuits.

Was this in Markham

Someone post the pic of the Cantonese grandma in pyjamas and heels first in line for breakfast buffet

Club Sandwich
May 25, 2012
quick question as someone whose been reading the thread: what's homelessness like in Chinese cities. In North America, some cites have enormous homeless populations due to a lot of factors. What's it like in China?

fits my needs
Jan 1, 2011

Grimey Drawer

Club Sandwich posted:

quick question as someone whose been reading the thread: what's homelessness like in Chinese cities. In North America, some cites have enormous homeless populations due to a lot of factors. What's it like in China?

There is no homelessness or mental illness in China. Those are western faults. The party provides for all. :china:

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


They don't like to talk about it. You see people going around digging out recycling from trash cans, and the old people with the huge carts covered in it. In some parts of Chengdu you find lots of beggars, and there's one homeless guy who is around my neighborhood often enough I know him.

My assumption is homelessness here is similar to Korea. It's a family problem, if you don't have family support then you're just abandoned and there's no public aid at all.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
haha the Tankie mod in the D&D Korea thread is making my day.

Devils Affricate
Jan 22, 2010
From what I could tell while I was there, homelessness in China kind of blends into the general concept of "poor people" of which there are many, and nobody cares about them. Old plastic bottle lady might sleep in the streets, or maybe she has some crappy little apartment to retreat to. The assholes walking around and snatching toilet paper, manhole covers, and generally anything intended for public use that isn't literally nailed down could just be normal people with working class jobs, or anyone's grandparents.

The government sure as hell isn't going to do any kind of honest survey on the issue, and it's not exactly something one can accurately eyeball. The numbers probably aren't good, though.

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

haha the Tankie mod in the D&D Korea thread is making my day.

I tried to tell everyone, he's a good mod he's doing good work.

WarpedNaba
Feb 8, 2012

Being social makes me swell!

JaucheCharly posted:

I've heard people say "this dead-rear end forum" a couple of times. By now only the most hopeless and hardened cases are still posting here. That really begs the question, where else would we be shitposting?

When you go to D&D for condensed bullshit and GBS for Debate and Discussion, the world gets a little confusing.

Ron Darling posted:

Instead of cigarettes, let's dive into YouTube videos about the Pinochet years in Chile and a bottle of Two Buck Chuck

That actually sounds like a hoot.

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.
Posting live from the Pont Alexandre III in Paris where there's three separate Chinese groups in full wedding gear with professional photographers in tow, having a shouting match about who gets the best photo in front of the Eiffel Tower

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse

WarpedNaba posted:

When you go to D&D for condensed bullshit and GBS for Debate and Discussion, the world gets a little confusing.


That actually sounds like a hoot.

The Germany D&D thread is pretty nice.

webmeister posted:

Posting live from the Pont Alexandre III in Paris where there's three separate Chinese groups in full wedding gear with professional photographers in tow, having a shouting match about who gets the best photo in front of the Eiffel Tower

Cell at the ready, when the brawling starts

cnut
May 3, 2016

peanut
Sep 9, 2007


lolololololololololol

simplefish
Mar 28, 2011

So long, and thanks for all the fish gallbladdΣrs!


JaucheCharly posted:

Cell at the ready, when the brawling starts

Open up a can of rae nao

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

Glenn Quebec posted:

Haier where do you find these abject dumbass women?
That's the real answer. Besides the culture supporting women to be actively infantile and emotionally and financially dependent on someone else, making them retarded and intractable as a personality virtue, the addition of Face makes it all come together in a package of hot garbage bullshit. Sure, there are normal people here too, but my sample size is huge and I have been proven time and time again how the standard is so awful in almost every way, designed by 5000 years of tantrums, idiocy, lies, and sub-sub-par education and the absence of logic. When "personal responsibility" and apologizing is an insult to a society's moral and cultural values, we are left with China.

On a side gripe: Due to Face and being unable to willingly right or fix wrongs, no friendship or relationship here is going to last if someone actively buys into the idea at heart. The most common for me since I first came to China more than a decade ago are the rage quits and the disappearances. It doesn't matter if you've known someone X amount of months or years, when there's a disagreement, embarrassment, or issue, the first thing so many people do is just disappear. You'll never hear from or see them again if they can control it.
If they don't do that, they'll delete you or remove any connection with you, and then wait for you to contact them. If you don't, they will wait and then try to contact you. They will refuse any explanation, or give something stupid if they do. More often, they just ghost on you forever because that takes less courage, no matter if they actually regret it. They act like teenagers and try to justify it and turn the tables so they don't have to accept it. Whenever discussing relationships with any Chinese person, they get starry-eyed and distant when remembering the one that got away, or their first love, or whatever, because chances are they ran away in a bitch fit or ended it over nothing and then agonized over it for years because they couldn't bring themselves to see the person again.

The whole culture is based on lying, even to people close to you. It is unquestionable, morally and ethically acceptable, and a prime way to maintain livelihoods and relationships.
Whenever someone not-in-China asks me what China is like, I just say the air, water, land, food, culture, and people are toxic to the body, mind, and humanity.

I can go to any other country and never have to write about or deal with the retarded poo poo I do here in China. Mainland Chinese are constantly harping on how they are the most unique in the world, physically and culturally, and they got that right, but not in the way they think.

ded posted:

His phone. Duh!
Not much anymore. Mostly all fakes now. I'm even suspicious of the real ones I match with. I keep matching with girls in HK, and they get disappointed when I have no desire to deal with that border mess. It becomes a stalemate of neither person wanting to cross the border, as it should be.

"There's a guy working for a book company, and I think his American video games are training him how to attack China. He keeps stealing cars and running over people, and I think we will see a repeat of France and Sweden attacks here in China!!!"

Club Sandwich posted:

quick question as someone whose been reading the thread: what's homelessness like in Chinese cities. In North America, some cites have enormous homeless populations due to a lot of factors. What's it like in China?
I see them begging on footbridges the most, since police and security guards aren't usually up there. I always walk at night, and I randomly see little tents poorly hidden in areas, or a filthy backpack tucked away somewhere for later. I would say that the amount of homeless I would see on any normal day in the US cities I've lived in are what I will see in a month in China where I am. It doesn't mean it doesn't exist, but I always wonder where they are, or if they are just rounded up and exterminated.

Haier fucked around with this message at 08:42 on May 2, 2017

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

vanity slug
Jul 20, 2010

There's no way in hell that's anywhere near China.

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

Jeoh posted:

There's no way in hell that's anywhere near China.
Look at all that blonde and brown hair, as well as fat people.

Let us English
Feb 21, 2004

Actual photo of Let Us English, probably seen here waking his wife up in the morning talking about chemical formulae when all she wants is a hot cup of shhhhh

I saw this happen once. Except there was no phone, the wall was a traffic median, and it was a family of five on the moped.

WarpedNaba
Feb 8, 2012

Being social makes me swell!

Haier posted:

The whole culture is based on lying, even to people close to you. It is unquestionable, morally and ethically acceptable, and a prime way to maintain livelihoods and relationships.
Whenever someone not-in-China asks me what China is like, I just say the air, water, land, food, culture, and people are toxic to the body, mind, and humanity.

I'm just amazed you've never gotten anything more than a probe for extrapolating from your experiences here.

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vanity slug
Jul 20, 2010

It's funny because it's true.

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