/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

god brett you are just... you are just stressing me out.

we might have to open up the relationship

*stress-eats fifty hot dogs*

*fifty GOD DAMNED hot dogs!!!!*

# ? May 4, 2017 23:25

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 06:01

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Pick posted:

FIFTY GOD DAMNED HOT DOGS?!

If he ate them with buns thats in spitting distance of winning the Nathans Famous so she needs to start training his raw, natural talent.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:26

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 9 days!

Open the relationship up to fifty hot dogs :quagmire:

Fifty shades of hot dog

# ? May 4, 2017 23:27

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Ah, I see you've read it.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:27

TOOT BOOT: May 25, 2010

I don't think the thumb sucking thing is all that weird. Think of the stereotype about high-powered lawyers and wall street brokers being into dominatrixes stepping on their balls. It's just a pressure relief valve for people living in high stress situations.

That said it doesn't at all surprise me the SIL was weirded out seeing it.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:27

NomChompsky: Sep 17, 2008

Never underestimate how many hotdogs a group of stoned men can eat. That being said I have 4 hotdog vouchers for the hockey game I am going to tomorrow night, and we will probably all (there are 4 of us) eat one hotdog each. If that. We might just drink beer.

Though it seems a shame to waste the free hotdog voucher that came with the ticket.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:28

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

TOOT BOOT posted:

I don't think the thumb sucking thing is all that weird. Think of the stereotype about high-powered lawyers and wall street brokers being into dominatrixes stepping on their balls. It's just a pressure relief valve for people living in high stress situations.

That said it doesn't at all surprise me the SIL was weirded out seeing it.

Those things are also weird though

# ? May 4, 2017 23:29

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

TOOT BOOT posted:

I don't think the thumb sucking thing is all that weird. Think of the stereotype about high-powered lawyers and wall street brokers being into dominatrixes stepping on their balls. It's just a pressure relief valve for people living in high stress situations.

all of the things you just described are weird, and the correct solution would be for people not to work themselves into such a sickly ball of hyperstress so that they didn't need their genitals stepped on, but that won't happen because that wouldn't satisfy our collective desire for More

DragQueenofAngmar fucked around with this message at 23:34 on May 4, 2017

# ? May 4, 2017 23:30

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

sometimes, if I've had a long day and I'm not up to cooking and making a decent meal, I will stop by Costco and get a hot dog and soda for $1.50

and it was good

# ? May 4, 2017 23:32

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

all of the things you just described are weird, and the correct solution would be for people not to work themselves into such a sickly ball of hyperstress so that they didn't need their genitals stepped on, but that won't happen because that wouldn't satisfy our collective desire for More

*checks work email on vacation*

Oh, who are we kidding.

*never goes on vacation*.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:33

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Barudak posted:

If he ate them with buns thats in spitting distance of winning the Nathans Famous so she needs to start training his raw, natural talent.

there is no way Tim's tainting his display of weiner-chugging prowess with buns

I can totally see why the OP would feel intimidated, though

# ? May 4, 2017 23:33

NomChompsky: Sep 17, 2008

My wife [25/F] is very upset that I [26/M] bought a video game (Witcher 3) and doesn't want me to play it.

quote:

I know this sounds like a silly issue, but it hits on deeper issues in our relationship, so please read further:
When I showed my wife this game, which I'm very excited for, she responded with strong distaste at the content (strong violence, nudity, etc) and doesn't want me to play the game.
Her thoughts: The game is pointlessly violent, and encourages a culture of violence against and objectification of women in the world. She started borderline shaming me that by playing this game, I would essentially be playing a role in perpetuating that against women.
To her, it would be against her values and morals to support me playing games like this.
My thoughts: It's a game and a story. But more importantly... Our relationship dynamic has for many years been one where I've suppressed and sacrificed my own needs, wants, and self to accommodate her in various ways. Up to just a year or two ago, I was whittled to a shell of who I once was.
After going to counseling for a year, I've been working to put myself first more often and to be myself more authentically. So, while I can see where she feels she doesn't want me to play this game, it puts me in a very difficult spot.
Do I not play this game I bought to make her feel better (for the sake of the relationship?)? This would mean also giving up some of the freedom I desire to have in enjoying a life-long hobby, which I only have time for a few hours a week these days.
Or, do be myself, continue to pursue putting my own needs and wants first for once, and play this game? Would that make me an rear end in a top hat to her, or to society (like what she says if I play this game)....
I want to be strong. But I also want to be loving and a good partner. If anyone can share some thoughts or perspective, I'd appreciate it a lot.
Thank you!
tl;dr: Bough the Witcher 3, and my wife doesn't approve at all of the content saying it's pointlessly violent and perpetuates a culture of violence against women. She really doesn't want me to play it.
At the same time, I have a history of sacrificing my needs and wants in this relationship and have been working on turning that around and putting myself first (also through counseling).
Is this a case where I should give in to her need, or put mine first?
EDIT: Wow this exploded overnight - I will try to respond to more comments today. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and perspective, it is helpful reading through these so far.

Murder her. With your silver sword, mind you, because she's obviously a monster.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:34

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

"Try not to eat any hot dogs in the parking lot!"

Fifty drat hotdogs. I'm still not sure why she was upset if both he and the friend offered to replace them? I mean it was a stupid and immature, but impressive thing to do, but no harm no foul.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:35

NomChompsky: Sep 17, 2008

Comment from the guy in my last post: "Half the reason she watches Game of Thrones with me, for example, is because she doesn't want me watching nudity/sex scenes without her present. She likes the story though."

"No honey I am gonna watch this "game of thrones" with you, so I can reach over and cover your eyes when the nude scenes happen."

# ? May 4, 2017 23:37

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Dude sounds way too pathetic to accurately roleplay Geralt.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:37

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

La Brea Carpet posted:

"Try not to eat any hot dogs in the parking lot!"

Fifty drat hotdogs. I'm still not sure why she was upset if both he and the friend offered to replace them? I mean it was a stupid and immature, but impressive thing to do, but no harm no foul.

now she knows what standard he has to live up to, and how impossibly far it is

# ? May 4, 2017 23:39

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

TOOT BOOT posted:

I don't think the thumb sucking thing is all that weird. Think of the stereotype about high-powered lawyers and wall street brokers being into dominatrixes stepping on their balls. It's just a pressure relief valve for people living in high stress situations.

That said it doesn't at all surprise me the SIL was weirded out seeing it.

Yeah but those Type A career people have the sense to do that poo poo behind closed doors, instead of doing it with guests in the home and being shocked when they're called weird for it.

Content from r/relationships' cheap chinese knockoff, /r/relationship_advice:

My boyfriend (23M) thinks that I (23F) am unintelligent?

quote:

I've been dating Zach for the last 9 months, and we dated for a couple years while I was in high school. He's a really good person, the kind that is so selfless and generous that he is constantly amazing me. He is an unusual guy, doesn't really think like other people, and has no ego whatsoever. My friends and family adore him, and we rarely fight (one fight in the last 9 months over some crazy Harry Potter fan theory, haha). He is also honest to a fault, which I usually don't mind. If I ask, for example, if he likes my clothes or if he still has feelings for an ex, he gives me his completely honest answer without filtering, and I accept that. I like that dynamic.

However, he does sometimes pop out with these uncharacterisitcally condescending remarks about my intelligence. I always thought he was joking, and I don't mind a little humor at my expense. I'm one of those people who is definitely book smart, good at math, science, English, etc, but I don't always have a ton of common sense. So for example, I'm great at chess and I love conversations about what you might see on VSauce, but I'm also the kind of person who will get turned around going to the mall that is three blocks away, or constantly forgets where the car keys are.

His condescending remarks were a little more blatant a couple days ago, and it occurred to me that he didnt sound like he was joking. I asked him directly, "Do you think I'm an intelligent person?" We had a long, circular conversation about my intelligence for about a half hour, and he never said outright that he didn't think I'm intelligent, but that was definitely the implication, without a doubt. He also wouldn't answer, "do you think I'm unintelligent?" with a negative, either. He's never avoided directly answering a question before, but though he didn't give me a yes or no response, it is clear that he doesn't think I'm intelligent.

It was really shocking to me that a guy who has known me for this long and dated me almost 3 years (if you count the first time) doesn't see that I'm an intelligent person. To be fair, we think in different ways. He isn't so good at English, math, or science, but he can build the most creative and intricate things, he's very inventive and creative. I think he's a genius and I have more respect for him than pretty much anyone I've ever known. Because he's a deeply good person, the hardest worker I've ever met, and extremely creative.

I thought we had a relationship based on mutual respect and I was more than happy to build a life with this amazing guy who I adore and trust completely. Now however, I wonder if he's only with me because I'm the only person he's ever been with. With me by default. If he doesn't know that I'm an intelligent person, does he know me at all? I'm questioning everything about our relationship because of this.

Is this a definite deal breaker? The most feminist, self respecting part of me says there's no way I can ever be with a man who thinks he's smarter than me and condescends to me. He had me so defensive I actually cited my SAT scores, because it was the most unbiased evidence of my intelligence I could think of (2140, if you're wondering. Still kinda proud of that, it was a shock to me at the time). Only after I told him this (I never have, he got like an 1100 so it seemed better to keep to myself, plus what does it matter) did he kind of back off and say that he might have misread me.

That's a deal breaker, right? As much as he is a wonderful person and a great boyfriend, I would never want my friends or future daughters to date a man that thinks they're better than their SO.

I'm not sure if I'm looking for reassurance that it's okay to end things with him, or reassurance that it's okay to stay with him... I just need some advice from you lovely people! Please please give me your opinion, whatever it may be.

TL;DR: My boyfriend is usually awesome, trust me on this, but a recent conversation revealed that he doesn't think I'm intelligent. Which I am, I think everyone is in their own way, and my intelligence is a pretty big part of my identity. I feel disrespected. Is this a deal breaker?

Top comment got it in one:

quote:

First you should call a cat a cat.

You seem to be intelligent, but not smart/bright.

Second your bf has the honestly of a child. Not having a filter can sound nice, except when we end at your place, insulted.

A friend once told me she was filtering with others, but not with me, and it was cool to not need to filter. She insulted one of my hobbies, I avoided her during few times.

Third, respecting itself is not a feminist thing, but a human basic thing.

Also, lol if you even remember your SAT score after graduating high school.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:38

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

La Brea Carpet posted:

Fifty drat hotdogs. I'm still not sure why she was upset if both he and the friend offered to replace them? I mean it was a stupid and immature, but impressive thing to do, but no harm no foul.

I probably should've posted one of the follow up comments she left.

quote:

Yes he came with me to store to get everything. He knew they were for the BBQ.

He did offer to drive to get more, but not until after I found out they were missing. He had plenty of time in the morning to go back out to get more hot dogs. His family was already there so one of his friends went to get them because the friend felt guilty.

And I agree with "not a big deal" response. It's that type of reaction that brought me to post here. He usually is communicative about the few minor disagreements we have so I don't understand why all of a sudden it's something that can't even be discussed at all.

dudeness fucked around with this message at 23:43 on May 4, 2017

# ? May 4, 2017 23:38

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

This is easy, if you flat out ask someone if they think you're intelligent and they don't give a direct answer, then they mean "no".

# ? May 4, 2017 23:41

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Absolutely. Also he sounds like a useless douche so who cares.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:43

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

fruit on the bottom posted:

This is easy, if you flat out ask someone if they think you're intelligent and they don't give a direct answer, then they mean "no".

the safe route is to say it using a synonym of more than two syllables

# ? May 4, 2017 23:42

NomChompsky: Sep 17, 2008

Well, you know, honey, I think you're very good-minded, like, you have a good brain, and it can do many things. You can think, you can speak, you can write some things, and I respect you a lot for that. You say good words, I like those. I remember this one time when I lost my keys, and you looked for them with me, and you found them! Also, in conclusion...

# ? May 4, 2017 23:42

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

dudeness posted:

Oh yes, i got something for your palate.

My [25 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] and his friends [20s M] ate all the hot dogs the night before house-warming BBQ

some redditor posted:

Let me tell you a story. It'll get buried, but it's worth it. Some years ago, my now-ex-wife was engaged in an escalating competition with a bunch of other Moos about children's birthday parties. As we all know, these things have been getting out of control, especially in the hyper rich colony I used to live in when I was married to her. Parents--mostly the Moos--would take tremendous delight in attempting to out-do one another in expense, hipster exclusivity, inconvenience and age-inappropriateness of celebration. Like massive, catered parties with bizarre live entertainment for 2 year olds.

She gets caught up in this crap. I'm like yeah, it's our kid's party but he is literally 2 and won't remember any of this stuff. You're just doing this because all the other Moos are in some sort of idiotic shooting war over birthday parties. It got to the point where she wanted to create a dozen different types of decorated cake pops at 1 in the morning on the day of the party (she'd planned to do it earlier, but had run out of time). She tried to get me out of bed to help her. Not a loving chance. She soldiered on.

Finally, I hear noise in the kitchen and do down to investigate. She ended up collapsed on the floor in the kitchen, crying hysterically. I stood there staring at her, told her she was out of her loving mind and went to bed. When it was time for the party, I had a few beers with the other Dads in the backyard while the women tortured one another by comparing shoes and handbags. None of them gave a poo poo about the 2 year olds. They were all purely in it for validation, to show off and to torment. Absolutely none of those couples are still married. The women are all 40-something, bitter and single and the guys are all dating hot young women. Everyone would have been a thousand times happier with a Jello ring mold, some Friendly's cake, and a case of Narragansett.

ON EDIT: about 8 of the 40 or so cake pops got eaten. They were no better or no worse than the ones you can get at Starbucks except that when you include all of the decorating tools and supplies, they were probably about $11 each.

Mostly posting because what the gently caress is a Moo?

# ? May 4, 2017 23:43

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Haifisch posted:

Mostly posting because what the gently caress is a Moo?

iirc it's a childfree thing? Means what you'd expect it to, and I guess this guy's like one of those honorary incels who fucks but hates women enough to stay in the club

# ? May 4, 2017 23:44

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Haifisch posted:

Mostly posting because what the gently caress is a Moo?

Mother of one?

edit: apparently FOO is family of origin, so i'm even more confused now.

dudeness fucked around with this message at 23:48 on May 4, 2017

# ? May 4, 2017 23:44

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

On the one hand, that's crazy. OTOH, there's something spiteful and sadistic about standing by and mocking your SO as they sink into madness.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:47

Barudak: May 7, 2007

You really leverage your existing knowledge base to elevate the direction of your proposals. Combined with your self-starter attitude and teamwork skills, you make a vital contribution to the teams intelligence. Your performance review for intelligence for the year is : exceeded expectations.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:47

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

jesus gently caress you just gave me a literal flashback to the stupid fuckers who would do this, they called it glomping, what the gently caress is the deal with this BS

Glomping gave us one of the best quotes ever:

Infrateal posted:

speaking of advertisements for casual encounters, remember that time you wore a GLOMP ME shirt to an anime convention and walked around all day inside an impregnable bubble of personal space

# ? May 4, 2017 23:48

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

The comments on that thumb sucking story are horrifying Jesus Christ

I can imagine someone sitting there typing it like a sith lord. Yesssssssss
Give into it
Be like meeeee

# ? May 4, 2017 23:49

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

fruit on the bottom posted:

On the one hand, that's crazy. OTOH, there's something spiteful and sadistic about standing by and mocking your SO as they sink into madness.

Judging by the tone of that post, I'd say it was a completely made up fantasy of a very lonely and bitter man.

Moo is just mombie with a sexist twist.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:50

Faffel: Dec 31, 2008; A bouncy little mouse!

quote:

"Ageplay: From Diapers to Diplomas"

Human sexuality is a morass of terror and should have never happened.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:50

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Faffel posted:

Human sexuality is a morass of terror and should have never happened.

Too late, we already painted an octopus loving a lady and put it in a museum.

Edit: Id say "imagine trying to explain that to space aliens" but theres no need. Theyll understand were weird when we start trying to gently caress them.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:52

Faffel: Dec 31, 2008; A bouncy little mouse!

Barudak posted:

Too late, we already painted an octopus loving a lady and put it in a museum.

Actually thats cool

# ? May 4, 2017 23:53

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Haifisch posted:

Mostly posting because what the gently caress is a Moo?

Wow, a rare care of everyone sucking poo poo. Women obsessed with consumerism, men who don't support them, and children who will grow up to have tantrums because they got a Rebecca Minkoff instead of a Botega Venetta.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:54

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

fruit on the bottom posted:

On the one hand, that's crazy. OTOH, there's something spiteful and sadistic about standing by and mocking your SO as they sink into madness.

Like Schmorky?
Actually he/she/it told her to stop taking her meds.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:52

NomChompsky: Sep 17, 2008

"Can i...can i have a sex?" said a man, once, petrified.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:52

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Faffel posted:

Actually thats cool

# ? May 4, 2017 23:53

NomChompsky: Sep 17, 2008

"I just want to have normal sex" he said
"What are you...some kind of sex tyrant?"

# ? May 4, 2017 23:54

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Barudak posted:

Too late, we already painted an octopus loving a lady and put it in a museum.

Edit: Id say "imagine trying to explain that to space aliens" but theres no need. Theyll understand were weird when we start trying to gently caress them.

They'll understand we're weird when they see that for hundreds of years we've been writing about what we will do when they arrive, and the answer is to gently caress them.

"Four hundred years ago today, our ancestors created the game series Mass Effect. Today, we pass on this cultural treasure to our new visitors from the stars--"

# ? May 4, 2017 23:56

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 06:01

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Barudak posted:

Too late, we already painted an octopus loving a lady and put it in a museum.

Edit: Id say "imagine trying to explain that to space aliens" but theres no need. Theyll understand were weird when we start trying to gently caress them.

Same with any fantasy setting, really. Humanity is not defined by being the strongest, cleverest, most powerful, or most graceful; we are defined by the fact that we will gently caress anything.

# ? May 4, 2017 23:54

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