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A Wizard of Goatse posted:also lol don't forget this tidbit: Cant wait for the bigamy charges
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May 5, 2017 18:21
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La Brea Carpet posted:My[28/F] parents [50s/M+F] are saying they won't show up at my wedding, and ask my grandparents does not show up either, unless I invite my mentally ill sister[32/F] too.Non-Romantic Slip her a sedative the night before. She is too fat to be manipulated manually. They will be forced to leave her behind. Alternatively, pay a troubled local youth to kneecap her. This is far less expensive than you might expect and is affordable even for a budget wedding.
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May 5, 2017 18:23
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Pick posted:Slip her a sedative the night before. She is too fat to be manipulated manually. They will be forced to leave her behind.
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May 5, 2017 18:25
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Actually, you should have her kneecapped a bit in advance so it's not suspicious, but then keep her sedated for a while. Since she will be on painkillers it will not seem "out of place" for her to be sleeping and unable to attend. Even if they do manage to roll her in, and she is feisty, she will not be able to reach the food on other guest's plates from her wheelchair. Also you don't worry about whether her lawn chair represents "special treatment" because she will be bringing her own wheeled chair.
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May 5, 2017 18:25
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dudeness posted:Me [34 F] with my [38 M] Husband, His anger terrifies me This one slipped under the radar, but I would like to welcome this poor woman to the wonderful world of domestic violence and your spouse threatening to murder you and your children over the slightest provocation. Like not properly appreciating the youtube video he showed you. Yep, pulling a huge loving sword out is definitely the sort of behaviour you should be asking the internet about and not just running for the loving hills with your children held under your arms.
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May 5, 2017 18:26
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My BIL [26/M] is a self-confessed "nice guy" who can't meet ladies. He wants me [32/M] to give him advice. How brutal is too brutal?quote:My wife [33/F] and I have been married for 4 years and together another 2 before that. Her brother, Drew, is a 26 year old guy who has lived his whole life as a bit of a victim. He has a very minor birth defect that causes some weakness in his non-dominant arm, consequently, he feels that it's the reason women won't date him. The reality is that he's a self-confessed "nice guy" who lacks even the most basic ability to deal with women and is so painfully awkward, annoying and eventually rude, that he turns them off and has given himself a reputation for being a bit of a dick. 
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May 5, 2017 18:26
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Gorilla Salad posted:Yep, pulling a loving sword out is definitely the sort of behaviour you should be asking the internet about and not just running for the loving hills with your children held under your arms. Friend of mine got divorced because his wife held a loaded Shotgun to his head. GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 18:29 on May 5, 2017 |
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May 5, 2017 18:26
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Pick posted:Slip her a sedative the night before. She is too fat to be manipulated manually. They will be forced to leave her behind. There are so many problems the second option solves, it is not even funny. This reminds me of a family story where my grandfather one day made lunch and put sedatives in everyone's food (his wife and three kids). He said it was the happiest day of his life. He later killed himself.
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May 5, 2017 18:27
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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:Friend of mine got divorced because his wife held a loaded Shotgun to his head. Did he have to think about it first? Because far too many people get to the point where their spouse is literally about to kill them and wonder, "Gee, is this relationship unhealthy? I'm not sure, I should give it 12 more years."
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May 5, 2017 18:30
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:My BIL [26/M] is a self-confessed "nice guy" who can't meet ladies. He wants me [32/M] to give him advice. How brutal is too brutal? This actually happens surprisingly often with people who do have some sort of "defect"--they assign everything that happens to that "defect" instead of themselves. If anything, it can be the biggest problem that it poses. Essentially, it's an easy scapegoat that allows them to avoid introspection. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t6JfL47EW0
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May 5, 2017 18:29
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Pick posted:Actually, you should have her kneecapped a bit in advance so it's not suspicious, but then keep her sedated for a while. Since she will be on painkillers it will not seem "out of place" for her to be sleeping and unable to attend. Even if they do manage to roll her in, and she is feisty, she will not be able to reach the food on other guest's plates from her wheelchair. Also you don't worry about whether her lawn chair represents "special treatment" because she will be bringing her own wheeled chair.
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May 5, 2017 18:31
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Pick posted:This actually happens surprisingly often with people who do have some sort of "defect"--they assign everything that happens to that "defect" instead of themselves. If anything, it can be the biggest problem that it poses. Essentially, it's an easy scapegoat that allows them to avoid introspection. that dude has sexually harassed literally every woman in his workplace and people still don't even want to talk to him about it because ~awk-waaard~
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May 5, 2017 18:33
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Cakefarts Carol posted:so many people posted here are on the cusp of the revelation that they're a lovely person and need to change but then their brains double down that it's not their behavior that's the problem, it's everyone else's C'est la vie. Unfortunately the brain defends itself from "harm" by fighting tooth-and-nail against information counter to what it already considers a core belief, in this case, "I'm a good person."
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May 5, 2017 18:32
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:that dude has sexually harassed literally every woman in his workplace and people still don't even want to talk to him about it because ~awk-waaard~ There's always a guy like that and he will never, ever believe that this behavior is a problem. Part of not wanting to have that talk is knowing it is totally pointless. What they probably should do is just warn every new employee ahead of time. Like, just say, "Don't talk to Plorg any longer than necessary. He's a loser desperate to get laid and will make a nuisance of himself." That is plenty. I guess it introduces liability, so you can have someone send her a letter like that anonymously to make it hard to prove it was company policy.
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May 5, 2017 18:35
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Gorilla Salad posted:Did he have to think about it first? Because far too many people get to the point where their spouse is literally about to kill them and wonder, "Gee, is this relationship unhealthy? I'm not sure, I should give it 12 more years." I think he bailed immediately. The gun was even locked up securely in a cabinet, she took the keys and removed it. This is  too. It never got reported. He /really/ should have reported it, but she broke his brain totally.
GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 18:41 on May 5, 2017 |
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May 5, 2017 18:37
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Pick posted:There's always a guy like that and he will never, ever believe that this behavior is a problem. Part of not wanting to have that talk is knowing it is totally pointless. I feel like for a lot of these dudes it's a cyclical thing where to begin with they're merely deeply socially retarded, and because they experience no negative feedback whatsoever for being a loving creep and it very occasionally gets rewarded they get trained that's just how things are done, so by the time they're like loving 50 or something and someone tells them "smiling at you is not signing a contract to gently caress" yeah they're just not having any of it cause they've been at it for 35 years and nobody ever said poo poo A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 18:43 on May 5, 2017 |
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May 5, 2017 18:40
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Gorilla Salad posted:Did he have to think about it first? Because far too many people get to the point where their spouse is literally about to kill them and wonder, "Gee, is this relationship unhealthy? I'm not sure, I should give it 12 more years." "I think we can work through this"
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May 5, 2017 18:42
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:I feel like for a lot of these dudes it's a cyclical thing where to begin with they're merely deeply socially retarded, and because they experience no negative feedback whatsoever for being a loving creep and it very occasionally gets them positive attention they get trained that's just how things are done, so by the time they're like loving 50 or something and someone tells them "smiling at you is not signing a contract to gently caress" that's just totally outlandish to them because, well, I've been doing it for 35 years somebody woulda said something, it's my bad biceps isn't it admit it Yes, although the fact they then dont fix the bicep thing is another real problem. Like Ive known two dudes who fell into this trap and one threw an endless pity party so everyone avoided him and the other decided he was going to get beefy and wear fashion clothes and well he still was a complete weirdo but women were interested in him enough to start a conversation which in time due to repeated talks corrected some of his more egregious habits. Still a weird fuckin dude, though.
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May 5, 2017 18:44
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Any woman who enters a relationship with any man is accepting flaws more egregious than any potential bicep situation.
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May 5, 2017 18:50
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I don't understand why all women aren't lesbians. Maybe try that?
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May 5, 2017 19:02
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Charles Get-Out posted:I honestly can't figure out if my [23F] relationship with my husband [25M] of 4 years is financially abusive? Here's an example of how lovely people ruin things for everyone: in the pregnancy subreddit, there was a really heartbreaking post about a woman whose husband was abusive, how she was trapped with him, her family wouldn't help her. She had no way out basically. Of course, all these other pregnant women who are already hormonal start offering help, a few even offering to drive and pick her up if she was close enough. Then it turns out this person had been making similar posts for over a year to grift people out of money. Soon as they got called out the profile and post were deleted.
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May 5, 2017 19:04
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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:I don't understand why all women aren't lesbians. Maybe try that? My most serious relationships were all with women, but it's like impossible to date women in Portland but not for the reasons you think.
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May 5, 2017 19:03
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Pick posted:My most serious relationships were all with women, but it's like impossible to date women in Portland but not for the reasons you think. Just move to miami so you can be the quirky SO to some south american bankers niece. Or date the banker, the language barrier only works in your favor.
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May 5, 2017 19:05
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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:I don't understand why all women aren't lesbians. Maybe try that? ikr
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May 5, 2017 19:08
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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:I don't understand why all women aren't lesbians. Maybe try that? Women are also bad.
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May 5, 2017 19:09
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Pick posted:My most serious relationships were all with women, but it's like impossible to date women in Portland but not for the reasons you think. I know nothing about dating women in Portland at all, though and no preconceptions. But Google is telling me it's LGBT friendly so I'm guessing it's not due to a lack of understanding or them being there. But Google lies. GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 19:14 on May 5, 2017 |
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May 5, 2017 19:09
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Zeroisanumber posted:Women are also bad. Choose Your Neurosis
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May 5, 2017 19:11
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Gorilla Salad posted:
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May 5, 2017 19:14
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God I fucking love Diablo 3 gold, it even paid for this shitty title
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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:I know nothing about dating women in Portland at all, though and no preconceptions. But Google is telling me it's LGBT friendly so I'm guessing it's not due to a lack of understanding or them being there. But Google lies. portland is the most stupidly all-in city wrt: sex-pos dorkery so if you try to date a woman they may turn out to already have 6 boyfriends and talk a lot about spiritual energy and crying
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May 5, 2017 19:16
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smdh if you're in any kind of a relationship with a human, i just perch on a crystal skull and shout words of power at my genitals until climax
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May 5, 2017 19:18
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Pick posted:portland is the most stupidly all-in city wrt: sex-pos dorkery so if you try to date a woman they may turn out to already have 6 boyfriends and talk a lot about spiritual energy and crying Champagne lesbians.
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May 5, 2017 19:22
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Zeroisanumber posted:This happened to a friend of mine. She was thin and athletic and loved going to clubs but some sort of switch flipped in her brain and she started slamming bottle after bottle of coke and put on roughly 120 pounds over the course of the last 5 years. A lot of us tried to get her to knock off or go to therapy or get some diet help, but nothing worked. The only "concession" that she made was to switch to Mexican coke which she claimed had "natural" sugar and wasn't as bad for you. I had an ex like that too. She drank a ton of pop, none of it diet, gained a ton of weight. Also she kept buying individual bottles at full retail price, not even six packs or 2L bottles, which was weird seeing as how she was always broke.
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May 5, 2017 19:22
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Ensign Expendable posted:I had an ex like that too. She drank a ton of pop, none of it diet, gained a ton of weight. Also she kept buying individual bottles at full retail price, not even six packs or 2L bottles, which was weird seeing as how she was always broke. She had an addiction, literally.
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May 5, 2017 19:22
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soda is what people drink when they want to ruin their lives with an unhealthy addiction but they're scared of becoming an alcoholic
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May 5, 2017 19:21
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Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [33 M] of four years. He admits to finding a picture of me in my school uniform hot/sexy. Is this okay?quote:I've been with my boyfriend for nearly four years, all is great, we're really happy, etc etc. Is it okay that my boyfriend that thinks I'm hot also thinks I'm hot in a picture I describe myself as looking the same in?
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May 5, 2017 19:24
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Here's a story about how hard it is to write with only gender-neutral pronouns Partner will not let me play violent video games (Games involving death, depictions of animal violence, etc) quote:Hello! I've come to Reddit with an issue that has been affecting my relationship of almost 1 year, and I am hoping for a solution before things take a bad turn.
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May 5, 2017 19:23
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boner confessor posted:soda is what people drink when they want to ruin their lives with an unhealthy addiction but they're scared of becoming an alcoholic Most people are really susceptible to addiction so at some point I think people often have to pick their poison.
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May 5, 2017 19:24
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Nazzadan posted:Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [33 M] of four years. He admits to finding a picture of me in my school uniform hot/sexy. Is this okay? Whoever said these people go looking for problems was spot on.
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May 5, 2017 19:25
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Ensign Expendable posted:I had an ex like that too. She drank a ton of pop, none of it diet, gained a ton of weight. Also she kept buying individual bottles at full retail price, not even six packs or 2L bottles, which was weird seeing as how she was always broke. It was even weirder for her because she was married to a doctor and had access to top-notch medical care through his insurance. Her husband even tried hiring a chef to make them healthy dinners and find some lower-calorie smoothie alternative to coke, but nothing worked. They got divorced earlier this year.
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May 5, 2017 19:27
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Pick posted:portland is the most stupidly all-in city wrt: sex-pos dorkery so if you try to date a woman they may turn out to already have 6 boyfriends and talk a lot about spiritual energy and crying portland has some great food and art and is in one of the most gorgeous parts of America but I took one look at its culture based entirely on making everything an affectation and noped right out
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May 5, 2017 19:29
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