/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Aerox: Jan 8, 2012

"I turned out fine!" says the man gleefully waiting to have kids so he can regularly beat the poo poo out of them when they upset him.

# ? May 8, 2017 19:27

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 14:12

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

TheScott2K posted:

This thread is really just about Pick.

Nah this thread is funny sometimes

# ? May 8, 2017 19:27

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Aerox posted:

"I turned out fine!" says the man gleefully waiting to have kids so he can regularly beat the poo poo out of them when they upset him.

I was surprised she didn't pull this circular logic ace on him.

# ? May 8, 2017 19:28

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Pick posted:

Also, don't argue with someone who knows and likes horses about what a "pony" is. It's not a baby horse. Don't argue with me that it's a baby horse! It's not a baby horse! A baby horse is a foal (genderless), a filly (female), or a colt (male). Why are you still arguing with me and saying you think I'm wrong? Look, we're heading to the stables, to meet my friend, who has a horse, and there will also be a pony there, but that pony is not a baby horse. It is an adult pony. Yes, I know what I'm talking about!! You say you've never even touched a horse!

i would never argue with a horse girl, they're... special.

# ? May 8, 2017 19:28

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Is pony an alternate name for miniature horses or a are those two separate things too.

# ? May 8, 2017 19:30

Barudak: May 7, 2007

ArbitraryC posted:

Is pony an alternate name for miniature horses or a are those two separate things too.

A Pony is any horse under a certain height, and a miniature horse also has a height cut off.

Why Im not telling you the specifics is because I hate horses.

# ? May 8, 2017 19:31

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

ArbitraryC posted:

Is pony an alternate name for miniature horses or a are those two separate things too.

I think it's like how we have "dwarf" or "little person".

# ? May 8, 2017 19:32

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

So is it a square is always a rectangle but not all rectangles are squares thing

# ? May 8, 2017 19:32

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

My [22 M] girlfriend [22F] just broke up with me because I didn't tell her that my best friend[22 M] is seeing a 17 YO

quote:

As the title says, my gf just broke up with me because I didn't tell her that my best friend has been seeing a 17 YO. Now this may be a pretty long story so I try to be a precise as possible.
I'll refer to my gf as B and my friend as Q.
I have been dating B for about 15 months. We were first introduced by my friend Q about 3.5 years ago. At the time, Q was dating B's roommate (we'll call her S).
S and Q broke up about a year ago. Over the summer, Q met a girl while he was on vacation. He went up to her and he gave her his number without knowing her age. A night or two later, Q goes on a date with this girl and he finds out that she is 17. He felt uncomfortable about taking things further but they kept talking with each other. They never officially became a couple, and as far as I know, they have never done anything physically.
I never told my gf, B, because she is best friends with Q's ex, S. But tonight, B saw S for the first time in almost a year. Along with them were some of their other friends from college who Q is still friends with as well. Someone found out that he was seeing this 17 yo and my gf confronted me about it (btw, we are in a long distance relationship so it was all over the phone).
The thing that makes this whole situation even worse is that my friend Q was just accepted into a teaching program. My gf, who is studying to become a lawyer that defends abused kids, thinks that my friend Q is abusing this girl. And she thinks that I am a terrible person because I didn't report him as soon as I found out and that I didn't tell her about it. The reason I didn't tell her about it was because she is best friends with Q's ex and I know she would've told her about it.
I told her over and over that Q and the girl got consent from their parents. I was under the impression that consent would be enough legally. My girlfriend, B, says that the age of consent is 18.
B is telling me that I have to report this and that if I don't, she will. I don't see how there is anything that can be done legally if they got consent, never did anything physical, and aren't even officially dating.
And to clarify things, B and Q were (at least before tonight) very good friends.
I don't see how we would ever really get back together considering how wrong she thinks this whole situation is. But I don't want to lose my friend and I sure as hell don't want to ruin his life. I know it's a super cliche thing to say, but the guy is the brother I've never had. He is in no way a pedophile, as B is now saying. I'm crying my eyes out right now wondering how the hell I just lost my girlfriend over something that is out of my control. His family knows, her family knows, and they're all okay with it. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my friend now as well. I don't want to report him but I know she will if I don't. Idk how it's my responsibility to report it when both of their families already know about it.
Sorry if this is hard to follow but I would love some advice...
TLDR: girlfriend broke up with me because I never told her that my 22yo friend is seeing a 17yo. He is starting a program this summer to become a teacher and my (now ex) girlfriend (who is studying to become a lawyer) thinks that he is a pedophile. My girlfriend wants me to report it even though they both got consent from their families. I don't understand how it is my responsibility to report this...

What a stupid, terrible reason to implode your own relationship

# ? May 8, 2017 19:33

putrid aidsman: Apr 13, 2017; by Lowtax

/r/childfree time. you might think this one is a troll but it's highly upvoted and someone gave the op Reddit Gold� for their post

quote:

FFS, today of all days was not the day to give me my first real bingo, stranger at the food van. (self.childfree)

submitted 4 hours ago * by Sinvisigoth 37/f/babies_are_disgusting

Edit: a word.

Sooooo, today has been a quiet one for me. I said goodbye to my 21 year old cat on Saturday morning, who had been my closest and most loved and loving companion for the last 20 years. I'm generally fine as far as not being a blubbering wreck goes, but the emotions have been pretty close to the surface for the last couple days.

Cue talentless dirigible of a mombie at the sandwich truck and her debut role as the first actual bingo I've ever had.

Her child-thing-it was writing on the pavement with the ketchup squeezy bottle. (It was taller than the back of a chair so I figured it probably should have known not to do that by now). Judging from the variety of designs, it was either trying to summon Lucifer or was under the impression that it was Indiana Jones and the pavement had a hidden compartment that could be unlocked with the right combination of symbols, hat wearing, and esoteric baked bean stains on the jumper. I fully expected it to either spin its head or dropkick a Nazi anti-archaeologist at any moment.

I bypassed the part of my brain that wanted ketchup because I just didn't want to make the complete sentences it would take to get it off of her kid and onto my burger.

Sweet chilli mayo FTW btw. Fortuitous interference in the ketchup department after all; worked out fine from my point of view.

But the three nanoseconds I glanced at this woman's kid and the slight pause in my asking for the chilli mayo were apparently not acceptable. Was I supposed to smile at the fact that it was dribbling ketchup over itself and the shoes of other patrons? Is this a thing? No, really, is it? A thing? Because I apparently don't know this so I didn't thing the thing I was supposed to thing. I was conspicuously thingless.

Her: ~catbuttface~

Ah. Apparently it is. And the fact that I did not do the thing set her off.

Her: "What?" Delivered with the tone of a university lecturer using the Socratic method.

Me: "What?" I don't care if I pass this class, lady. I already got a 0 in Fucks Given 101. Trust me, I'm graduating whether or not you give me an F in adoring your Picaresque wildebeest of a child.

Her: "What do you call that?" Ah. I need either a 50/50 or a phone a friend clue here.

Me: "Uh...kid with a ketchup bottle? I dunno, dude, I'm not an art historian."

Her: "No. I mean what do you call that?" Points one finger right in/at my face.

NB.1. Pointing is rude.

NB.2. Being a little autistic, physical proximity to my body, face, etc. is an absolute no no under any circumstances.

Me: "The Martian Lander. What the gently caress do you think it is? And get you finger away from it, whatever you think it is." Bat her hand away from my face before it decides to defend itself with its landing jets.

Her: "You know what I'm talking about!" (her voice goes slightly supersonic at this point) "I'm talking about YOU. GLARING. atmychild!!" (aaand we've broken the sound barrier and the speedtalking record - think Six from Blossom but on helium).

Me: "I...what?" I stare. Her face does a kind of electric spasm. "Wh...at?"

Her: "Youshouldn'tglareatpeople'schildrenkidsarekidshe'sjustbeingakid
lookathowcreativehe'sbeingandyouhavethenervetoglareathim
youshouldbemoreunderstandinghowareyougoingtolikeitwhensomeoneglaresatyourkid-" And this is where the mouth speed record reaches an abrupt halt. Although I think the newly discovered oxygen might have come too late to save her brain.

Me: "Not having kids. Ever."

Her: "Wha?

Me: "No."

Her: "But you hav-"

Me: "No."

Her: "YES YOU WI-"

Me: "No."

Her: "But you have to-"

Me: "No."

Her: "......." She's building up steam. ".......!" Insert weird animal noise of frustration. "WHO'S GOING TO LOOK AFTER YOU WHEN YOU'RE OLD?"

Considering what I had to do on Saturday, having spent the last three years looking after my old boy through his illness, this just took a scenic detour into territory I would not tolerate.

Me: "No idea. Don't care."

Her: "...." Insert whatever random noise you thinks stands for the kind of smirk someone makes when they think they've just won the conversation. It's probably the same sound as a slice of buttered toast falling butter side down.

Me: "Sigh." I know what's coming.

Her: "So you're going to be lonely and die alone because you won't have kids?"

Me: "Most people who get left in nursing homes have kids, you know. Who's going to be lonelier, me getting exactly what I expect and pay for, or you when your kids refuse to take care of you and don't visit?"

Me again: wanders off with mouthful of burger, enjoying the woman's train whistle lamentations, much as Conan would.

# ? May 8, 2017 19:35

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Nazzadan posted:

My [22 M] girlfriend [22F] just broke up with me because I didn't tell her that my best friend[22 M] is seeing a 17 YO

What a stupid, terrible reason to implode your own relationship

i refuse to read anything where the names are just letters as my eyes start to cross and i get irrationally angry at the OP. im glad his gf dumped his stupid rear end.

# ? May 8, 2017 19:35

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Barudak posted:

A Pony is any horse under a certain height, and a miniature horse also has a height cut off.

Why Im not telling you the specifics is because I hate horses.

FINALLY , a fellow horse hater. They are dumb and smell bad and bite and startle easily I hate them

# ? May 8, 2017 19:36

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

ArbitraryC posted:

Is pony an alternate name for miniature horses or a are those two separate things too.

They're two separate things. A pony is a horse bred to be stocky, and a miniature horse is a horse bred to be small. The conformation is completely different.

# ? May 8, 2017 19:37

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Pick posted:

They're two separate things. A pony is a horse bred to be stocky, and a miniature horse is a horse bred to be small. The conformation is completely different.

I'm calling the police

# ? May 8, 2017 19:38

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Me [F32] & Husband [M36] are happily married but being pregnant has made me extremely horny, been sexting strangers and need help on how to stop [NSFW]

quote:

Tl;dr - looking for advice on how to stop sexting strangers while dealing with my dissatisfaction with our sex lives and feeling undesired. Don't want husband to find out so need help on stopping.

Married and together for 7 years with a toddler and I'm 6 months pregnant. This pregnancy, my hormones have made me extremely horny. I want to have sex with my husband and I lust for him when he's not around. I love him tremendously as he's a great father and partner. I initiate sex but get rejected due to various reasons (he's fatigued, mentally from work and parenting, from injuries with playing sports recreationally and just at times not in the mood). We would have sex 1-2 times a week. I would like if it was 5-6 times a week. I've told him he doesn't need to do anything, I just need him to get erect and I'm happy to give him oral sex to get things started. We also always have porn on while we have sex as he says that's what he likes... but. I I get turned down when I offer or if I put porn on for us. He's suggested that during days when we don't have sex, he is fine with me masturbating and watching porn by myself. His refractory period is 2-3 days so I understand he and I don't have sex on those days is because of that physical aspect that he can't control. Sometimes on the days I think he has recovered, I would ask him if he's taken care of himself. The times he has said yes and masturbated I have gotten quite upset. Meaning I'd have to wait another 2 days in order for us to have sex. It hurts my feelings being rejected and when he masturbates when I am not around. I feel undesired. So two weeks ago, on a whim, not knowing what I was getting myself into, I took a nude photo of myself (not showing my face or my pregnant belly) and posted on a NSFW subreddit. I was curious to see if I would receive any attention and what that would be like. Immediately after posting I received all types of flattering non-sexual to dirty-very-sexual comments and PM's from guys about my body. I enjoy the attention, validation and I get turned on now talking dirty to guys via PM and watching the videos they send me of them masturbating to my photos. This has become my porn when I am masturbating The handful of guys I have exchanged ongoing sexual messages, private nude pics and talking about sexual fantasies are guys who I know nothing about personally. We haven't discussed any personal information like age/location/relationship status. Just talking about kinks and fetishes.

I know what I'm doing is wrong. If he were to find out, I don't know how he will react and would imagine it wouldn't be cool with him. However, I don't know for certain because when we communicate about sex and our relationship, he has difficulty opening up. Sexually I've asked what turns him on, what new things would he like to try, is he satisfied with our sex life, etc. Often times I get an "I don't know," type response and generally I feel he's uncomfortable talking about sex unless we're in the midst of it and I'm talking dirty to him. He knows I am very sexual even before the pregnancy. I've also tried letting him know in a non-complaining or accusatory toned conversation that I would appreciate if he can compliment me and show me he desires me. I would like to be told I'm beautiful and that I turn him on. Immediately telling him that, he then says he does think I'm beautiful. I thanked him and told him I would like if he can say that to me when it's not me prompting him but coming spontaneously and sincerely.

I think if we can have more sex and he can give me more attention that is what will satisfy me. I'm hoping the extreme horniness will pass as the pregnancy progresses. But I'm not sure. I have always had a slightly higher sex drive than him. And now that I've discovered how to get instant attention and validation by going online, I'm afraid I have become addicted to posting and exchanging messages with strangers as I'm constantly on my phone checking messages and watching the videos.

Rationally I know I should stop but I am very horny and I don't know what to tell myself and think.

# ? May 8, 2017 19:38

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

fruit on the bottom posted:

Me [F32] & Husband [M36] are happily married but being pregnant has made me extremely horny, been sexting strangers and need help on how to stop [NSFW]

au anthony wiener

# ? May 8, 2017 19:38

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

TheScott2K posted:

This thread is really just about Pick.

y'all i TRIED to make it about me and my hilarious, real life, never exaggerated, and 100% cool and timely achewood references, but nobody picked the gently caress up now did they? smdh

# ? May 8, 2017 19:40

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

fruit on the bottom posted:

Me [F32] & Husband [M36] are happily married but being pregnant has made me extremely horny, been sexting strangers and need help on how to stop [NSFW]

now that I've discovered how to get instant attention and validation by going online

How do you not immediately realize this

# ? May 8, 2017 19:40

duz: Jul 11, 2005; Come on Ilhan, lets go bag us a shitpost

Pick posted:

they forget that even in gor most of the men didn't have legions of gently caress slaves

Yes, but as long as at least one of them did, that could be me since with my randian intellect, I'll surely rise to the top!

# ? May 8, 2017 19:50

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

This thread is about broken human beings, which is why I post in it.

# ? May 8, 2017 19:52

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Pick posted:

They're two separate things. A pony is a horse bred to be stocky, and a miniature horse is a horse bred to be small. The conformation is completely different.

Does anyone breed destriers any longer?

# ? May 8, 2017 19:54

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Bubblyblubber posted:

Don't hit your partners, people jfc.

That's what children are for.

Me [26F] dating a guy [27M] and he told me this weekend that he will 100% be physically disciplining his future children. Relationships

Never stop never stopping (hitting your children)

lol at everyone who says "i got spanked and i turned out fine" no. no you did not. you think it is ok to hit children. that is not turning out fine

# ? May 8, 2017 19:56

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

boner confessor posted:

lol at everyone who says "i got spanked and i turned out fine" no. no you did not. you think it is ok to hit children. that is not turning out fine

You're begging the question.

# ? May 8, 2017 20:00

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

It's a dumb debate aside but that's not an argument that will ever convince anyone because it's circular logic. The numbers are out there, and they generally indicate the obvious (don't hit your children) but they also generally show that when used sparingly under clear context, it does no more or less harm than giving them a timeout or w/e. I think in general people should just err on the side of not doing it but you're never gonna sway people by implying the one time their parents spanked em makes em horrible abusers.

e: really tho it's 2017, you should be emotionally abusing your children instead.

# ? May 8, 2017 20:03

Bamabalacha: Sep 18, 2006; Outta my way, ya dumb rah-rah!

fruit on the bottom posted:

Me [F32] & Husband [M36] are happily married but being pregnant has made me extremely horny, been sexting strangers and need help on how to stop [NSFW]

Like what she's doing is incredibly, incredibly lovely, but a 2-3 day refractory period in an otherwise healthy relationship where you live together and you desperately want to bang would slay me.

# ? May 8, 2017 20:06

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

ArbitraryC posted:

You're begging the question.

Logical fallacy!

# ? May 8, 2017 20:06

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

CharlestheHammer posted:

Logical fallacy!

on the post! Two-paragraph penalty; OP!

# ? May 8, 2017 20:10

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

y'all i TRIED to make it about me and my hilarious, real life, never exaggerated, and 100% cool and timely achewood references, but nobody picked the gently caress up now did they? smdh

oh now you are gonna act all pro ice now that the thread is in a raw situation

# ? May 8, 2017 20:23

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

men hit children because they (men) are bad

# ? May 8, 2017 20:27

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Pick posted:

men hit children because they (men) are bad

misandry

# ? May 8, 2017 20:28

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

My [24/F] co-worker [mid-thirties/F] is becoming harder and harder to work with because of a recent ban of e-cigarettes at work. She claims our assistant manager [40/F] is out to get her and is now trying to get her fired for harassment. Should I intervene for the sake of my manager?

quote:

I started working at [GENERIC WINE STORE] just a little over a year ago as a cashier. When I started, there was a co-worker there five months my senior. We got along really well, but I'm not the type to warm up to co-workers because I believe in keeping all relationships in the work place at a co-worker only level to avoid emotional disputes. I did notice, however, that she (we will call her Cat, because she has one and it's obvious) has several problems related to her job such as dealing with hygiene, work appearance, work-appropriate conversations, attitude, and resentment towards handling authority figures.

I will give a few examples.

Hygiene: I'm not sure how many cats Cat has, but I know she must have at least one. I can usually tolerate someone having a "bad smell day". It happens to the best of us, but for Cat, it's a repeat offense daily. She comes to work unwashed, greasy hair pulled into a messy bun, clothes covered in cat hair, and she usually has a two to three feet smell aura that smells like cat urine and excessive cigarette use. From time to time, there is also an extreme smell of sour body odor, dried spit, or sour mildew of clothes that dried on their own in the washing machine (I know the smell all too well, because I'm guilty of leaving clothes overnight in the wash once or twice, but I'd never wear them to work.)

Work Appearance: I'm not one to judge or tell someone they can't wear the clothes they want to wear, but our store has outlined in our rule book that we stick to jeans, khakis, and a polo shirt of blue, black, brown, or grey. Sometimes, we break the rules to wear nicer clothes, such as cardigans or flowing blouses, because we do work at a store that deals with more expensive merchandise and a richer public.

However, Cat will wear v-cut t-shirts to work without an undershirt to cover her cleavage. This isn't usually a problem, except that Cat is extremely busty because she is a heavy set girl. She probably weighs somewhere close to 210 - 230 lbs. She is also very disillusioned when it comes to how she looks in these clothes. As I said before, I try not to judge and I am happy for anyone who feels confident with their body, but she tends to lean over the counter as she's working on something and the tops of her nipples are always visible when she does this.

A lot of our co-workers and some of our customers complained about her appearance and we had our assistant manager (we'll call her Judy) sit down with her to talk to her about this. Cat's response? "You're just jealous because my tits are bigger than yours and you wish yours looked as nice as mine. You're not perky like me. Your tits sag." My assistant manager (who is the same size and just as busty as Cat) was very taken aback and tried to assure her that the talk wasn't to compare breasts.

Work-appropriate conversations: There are multiple instances I could list, but I'll just go to the two I remember most. One day, I'm stocking our front cooler and I notice her vigorously holding her legs together. I jokingly ask, "Do I need to hold the front while you go to the rest room?" She replies, "No, I have a urinary tract infection, so it feels like I need to pee, but I know I don't. You know, my boyfriend was just too rough with his hands when he was diddling it for me the other night." I just said, "Okay," and quickly walked away.

Another instance involves a customer we have who is very elderly. I assume he is about mid-seventies. He comes in about twice a month to buy one case of Three Girls Cab wine and every time, he requests that I be the one to check him out. On a regular visit, he accidentally walked through the wrong check-out and I jokingly said, "Oh, I see, you're cheating on me now?" He laughed, but Cat touched him on the arm and said, "Don't worry. I am always down for threesomes." I'm not even sure how I responded to that at the time. I brought it up to management, but they decided to give her a vague talk that didn't mention the incident, but her speech in general.

Attitude: At work, we have a free rewards program that only requires a customer to put in a ten-digit number (usually a phone number because it's easy to remember). The computer tells us if the number is registered as a member. If not, then we ask the customer for an e-mail to sign them up. Part of our performance is based off of these numbers, but only for the amount of customers not already signed up. We are expected to reach 35% a day. For example, I have twenty customers come through my line. Ten are already a member. I sign up five, and the other five refuse the service. That means I am currently at 50% of goal.

There is a repeat customer that works next door at the hair salon. She comes in almost every single day and buys a bottle of water and a bag of chips for lunch, but every time she comes through the line, she refuses to sign up. She's become very noticeable when she comes in, so most cashiers try to pawn her off on someone else so their numbers don't drop for the day.

Cat got stuck with this customer one afternoon and decided to try and sign her up very eagerly. Just to make it clear, Alabama state law says you are not allowed to ask a customer for a phone number to complete a transaction. Cat asked her to input her member ID into our pinpad. Salon-lady refused. Cat said, "It doesn't have to be your number. You can put in an old cellphone you don't own anymore." Salon-lady refused again. Cat says, one more time, "You could even put in your work number. I'm sure someone over there has an account using it already." Salon-lady becomes upset and says, "I'm only trying to buy my items. I'm not giving you my home number, my cell number, and I'm sure as hell not giving you my work number. Please, just give me my total and let me check-out in peace." Cat starts huffing and hitting the buttons into her cash register very angrily and says loud enough for the customer to hear, "There goes my 35% for the day." Needless to say, we heard an earful from this customer.

When management confronted Cat about the customer complaint, Cat responded by saying, "She's only complaining because she doesn't like me. It's because I'm way more attractive than her." Not to be the type to stereotype body types, but Salon-lady is a 5'8, extremely fit and athletic white girl who wears track clothes. She's drop-dead gorgeous. Cat doesn't even compare.

So, here lies the problem. My assistant manager, Judy, used to get along really well with Cat when I started working there. However, Cat had all these problems and complaints she was receiving and no one really knew how to deal with it. Judy decided to step up and offered to be the one to talk to Cat about the complaints. Any time she smelled bad, any time a customer said she was showing too much cleavage, Judy would have to be the one to pull her aside and tell her the problem.

Cat began to immediately think Judy was purposely targeting her and harassing her at work because Judy was "jealous" of Cat's appearance. Now, anytime Judy assigned Cat to do something at work, Cat claimed she was being assigned that project out of spite, when in fact, we all do the same projects and tasks as Cat.

Very recently, Cat decided to take up vaping. Our company has a very strict policy about smoking indoors, but we allow our coworkers to smoke outside the building, front or back, as they choose. Smoking coworkers also receive an extra break to smoke outside.

One night, as Cat and Judy are closing together, Cat breaks out her e-cigarette while counting her cash drawer in the office. Judy asked her very kindly to put it away as it was causing a smell in the office and making her uncomfortable. Cat became hostile about how vaping was nothing like cigarettes and shouldn't be treated as one. She continued to vape in the break room while other people ate, or vaped during closing hours in the food sections. Sometimes, she'd even sneak vapes in between customers at the cash register.

Not just Judy, but EVERYONE became annoyed with the vaping. A lot of the smokers thought it was unfair that she could use tobacco products indoors while they had to still smoke outside. A lot of the workers were concerned about the health risks associated with being near vaping because it only recently became popular. A lot were just annoyed with the constant cigarette smell it left behind.

Not wanting to overstep her boundaries, Judy sent a letter to our HR to ask what our policy on vaping and e-cigarettes were. HR replied four words, "Treat it like cigarettes." Two days later, when Cat returned to work, another manager informed her that vaping would no longer be allowed inside the building. Not only was Cat furious, because for a full hour before the store opened, she threatened to sue the company, to tell all her friends they should no longer shop there, and she was going to, one way or another, have our assistant manager fired for harassment.

Usually, I would say something like this would figure itself out, but because none of my other managers have stepped up to the plate to handle Cat's customer complaints and coworker complaints, it does kind of look like Judy is harassing Cat. It's not intentional, but Cat is only being harassed because she's loving up a lot. I'm worried without help, my assistant manager could actually lose her job over actually doing it.

tl;dr Assistant manager is the only one to handle unhygienic, rude employee. Employee thinks assistant manager is singling her out because none of the other managers ever call her out. Assistant manager asks employee to stop using e-cigarettes in the building. Employee tells other coworkers she plans to get assistant manager fired for not letting her vape inside work and for constant harassment.

If i was a woman this would be me.

# ? May 8, 2017 20:29

Neophyte: Apr 23, 2006; perennially; Taco Defender

ArbitraryC posted:

You're begging the question.

Putting the cart before the pony

# ? May 8, 2017 20:29

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Pick posted:

men hit children because they (men) are bad

Some children grow up to be men though. So they are bad.

# ? May 8, 2017 20:29

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

fruit on the bottom posted:

Some children grow up to be men though. So they are bad.

woah

# ? May 8, 2017 20:32

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

dudeness posted:

My [24/F] co-worker [mid-thirties/F] is becoming harder and harder to work with because of a recent ban of e-cigarettes at work. She claims our assistant manager [40/F] is out to get her and is now trying to get her fired for harassment. Should I intervene for the sake of my manager?

If i was a woman this would be me.

Sounds jealous

# ? May 8, 2017 20:32

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Pick posted:

woah

Really, you should be in favor of beating male children.

# ? May 8, 2017 20:33

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

How come it's always the physically grossest people that overshare about their sexual interests/lives.

# ? May 8, 2017 20:35

AmiYumi: Oct 10, 2005; I FORGOT TO HAIL KING TORG

Bamabalacha posted:

2-3 day refractory period

Noticed that too. Lady, that's not a refractory period, that's a hormonal problem. Guy needs to see a doctor.

# ? May 8, 2017 20:35

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

ArbitraryC posted:

How come it's always the physically grossest people that overshare about their sexual interests/lives.

Casting a wide net to find someone with low enough standards to gently caress them

# ? May 8, 2017 20:38

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 12, 2024 14:12

Khorne: May 1, 2002

ArbitraryC posted:

How come it's always the physically grossest people that overshare about their sexual interests/lives.

Bamabalacha posted:

Like what she's doing is incredibly, incredibly lovely, but a 2-3 day refractory period in an otherwise healthy relationship where you live together and you desperately want to bang would slay me.

What does that even mean?

# ? May 8, 2017 20:43

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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