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Jun 11, 2024 21:49
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- Bubblyblubber
- Nov 17, 2014
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Nerds gush about their hanzo steel swords, this lady has a 1000 times folded bona fide nihonese hanzo steel husbando:
My sister [26] is telling family members that my husband [31] is a "bully" because he embarrassed her wannabe MMA-fighter boyfriend [24] after the guy tried to show off his fighting prowess at my [32F] apartment Personal issues
quote:
2,295 points 349 comments submitted 7 months ago by KarateYuppy to r/relationships
Sister's boyfriend is an aspiring MMA fighter. I think he is a middleweight. He also is a PX90 trainer and fitness coach. Stereotypical "bro jock."
My husband is a science teacher and NOT a jock. Though he happens to have a black belt in judo, which he doesn't go around telling people.
Sister and her boyfriend were watching football at our apartment last weekend. Talk turned to mixed martial arts, and my sister's boyfriend starts pontificating and humble bragging about how tough it is, and by extension how tough HE is. He goes on and on about how he is "not a huge guy but can take down anyone," and that he has moves that are impossible to counter.
He's about the same height as my own husband (my husband is Japanese; sister's boyfriend is Irish-American) but much more muscular. My husband is fit but very slender. Anyway my husband innocently says that no move is really impossible to counter.
So, since his jock sensibilities were threatened, sister's boyfriend offers to demonstrate an unbreakable hold on my husband. My husband doesn't talk about judo with anyone and not even my sister knows he's a high-ranking expert, so her boyfriend tries to demonstrate the hold, and my husband easily breaks it.
So, he says he was going easy on my husband, and offers to try harder. My husband consents, and this time not only breaks the hold again, but counters the move and holds sister's boyfriend in a compromising, embarrassing position, and tells him to break the hold.
Sister's boyfriend is totally humiliated and eventually "surrenders." He is humble about it and shakes my husband's hand. Rest of the afternoon seemed to go just fine.
But later on Facebook my sister mentions to me that my husband was being a bully to her boyfriend. In fact my mom called me later and told me to tell my husband to stop showing off, and for him to stop messing with sister's boyfriend.
One would think my husband was stealing candy from children or something.
I texted my sister back and said that her boyfriend was the one bragging endlessly about what a badass he thinks he is, and out of nowhere challenges my husband to break an "impossible" hold, and so my husband humors him and does exactly that.
I personally think my sister is just butthurt because she knows my meek little husband would absolutely smack the poo poo out of her alpha dog if they had a fight, and she's processing it all like an immature ten year old instead of moving on with her job of... Unemployed.
Then she went into a long spiel about how teachers are all corrupt (I'm a teacher too, for history) and just collecting paychecks and doing a lousy job, and how I think that now that I married a foreign person I think I'm exotic now.
Ouch. Tell me what you really think, sis!
I told her that she was acting like some of the middle school kids at mine and my husband's work. Now she's saying that I'm bullying HER by saying that.
But is it true? Was my husband being a bully? It seemed like the other guy had a sporting attitude about being beaten, so I don't get why sister is so mad.
I realize she's proud of her boyfriend being fit or being a cage fighter or whatever but she should know that one shouldn't go around trying to act like you're tougher than everyone else, because eventually someone will check you.
tl;dr: My husband made my sister's PX90/MMA boyfriend cry "mercy" and now my sister is calling my husband a bully.
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May 10, 2017 15:42
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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Is that how mental health professionals evaluate it?
edit: I mean clearly this lady has a problem, but I can think of a few fetishes that affect a persons life outside of sex.
Give me an example. I mean, if you're a foot fetish person and you steal the occasional glance at a foot, whatevs, but don't be Quentin Tarantino obvious about it.
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May 10, 2017 15:43
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- VideoGames
- Aug 18, 2003
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I am a big fan of this thread. Some of the things are heartbreaking, some are hilarious but every single one of them serve to help me keep my own thoughts, feelings and relationships in perspective.
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May 10, 2017 15:48
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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Rubber pups come to mind, lifestyle Doms/Subs, chastity fetishists - a good number of BDSM fetishists I've met have insisted that what they do is totally not a sex thing (which I don't know that I fully buy).
I'm not trying to make a value judgment on anything, I'm just curious what the actual professional dividing line is.
To me, those people are lying to themselves. They're totally enjoying it on a sexual level, even if it doesn't necessarily lead to actual sex.
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May 10, 2017 15:51
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- SpaceClown
- Feb 13, 2016
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by FactsAreUseless
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Rubber pups come to mind, lifestyle Doms/Subs, chastity fetishists - a good number of BDSM fetishists I've met have insisted that what they do is totally not a sex thing (which I don't know that I fully buy).
I'm not trying to make a value judgment on anything, I'm just curious what the actual professional dividing line is.
Sounds like pick and how she swears her desire to tie wheels up and bite him isn't sexual
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May 10, 2017 15:52
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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Nerds gush about their hanzo steel swords, this lady has a 1000 times folded bona fide nihonese hanzo steel husbando:
My sister [26] is telling family members that my husband [31] is a "bully" because he embarrassed her wannabe MMA-fighter boyfriend [24] after the guy tried to show off his fighting prowess at my [32F] apartment Personal issues
Hanzo Steel Husbando was just doing MMA Master a solid by getting his ego back in check. Bringing that attitude into the ring is a great way to lose, or worse, get seriously injured. They were chill about it because they knew what was up.
OP's sister is angry her American made replica sword couldn't cut through a battle tank.
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May 10, 2017 15:53
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- Bubblyblubber
- Nov 17, 2014
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This one starts "You know what, Pick is right!" and turns to  on the update.
I [28F] got into an argument with my husband [29M] and he kicked me out of the car and left me stranded. Relationships
quote:
906 points 650 comments submitted 2 years ago by Husbandleftmestrande to r/relationships
My husband and I have been married for 3 years, dating for 5. We both had today off, so he decided to spend the weekend at his brother's place (which is about 3 hours away from where we live). During the car ride, my husband and I got into an argument about my spending. He started yelling that I have been spending too much money on facials, manicures, makeup, etc. He is right, but I have been spending my own money! I make a six figure salary and my husband earns 40k a year, so I don't see an issue if I contribute to the household expenses and then use extra money to pamper myself. I told him this and he said that I was being selfish, that we are a team, etc.
Anyways, what ended up happening is that he pulled over and told me to get out. I thought he was merely just saying that with no intention of actually abandoning me. I nodded at him and opened the car door and stepped out. He immediately had reached over the seat and shut the door and sped away. I was initially stunned, but I assumed that he would probably come back within 5 minutes. I waited for 15 minutes and he had not returned (I live in Canada and it was -30C). I called him, and he did not pick up. I felt humiliated and ended up calling a cab to take me back home (which was an hour drive).
I texted my husband an hour ago asking him what the hell caused him to do that and that I was very hurt that he abandoned me in the freezing cold and that I had to take a cab ride back home. He replied that it shouldn't make a difference because I like spending and the cab money was just pocket change to me. I am unbelievably shocked at his actions and don't know where this is coming from.
We have never had an issue this big before. We are always able to civilly resolve any disagreements. He has made some remarks in the past about the salary disparities between us, but it was more in the sense of "I am so proud of all your hard work. It's payed off because now you earn a ton."
What should I do at this point? Should I respond to my husband over text, or should I wait for him to return on Sunday to have a face to face discussion?
TL;DR: husband and I got into an argument while driving, he booted me out and drove away.
EDIT: We have an allotted $X amount of dollars per month, per each person, specifically for "activities of interest". I pay for both my extra spending, as well as his. His argument was that I was spending more than he has in that specific category. However, I was keeping it within the budget, and he was underspending. I pay 80% of our expenses, while he contributes 20%.
The "extra spending" is actually within the activities of interest budget.
An example:
- Each of our activities of interest budget is $300 for the month.
- Husband spends ~$60 within his budget.
- I usually spend $250-300 for my activities.
So I am within the set budget, but he said that I was overspending compared to him, which is what caused the fight.
quote:
There have been major updates that have occurred since I posted my original thread on Friday. I had texted my husband about two hours after he had abandoned me and drove off and he replied back with a rude "you had enough money to take a taxi" reply.
I decided I would not contact him again over the weekend. On Saturday, I got a call from him. He apologized profusely and was crying over the phone. I told him I was extremely upset with what he did and that I could have died had I not been able to phone a cab. He completely admitted he was at fault. I decided to open up the topic of the money issue that had originally caused the argument. This is where I was caught off guard.
My husband told me that his niece (3 years old) had been diagnosed with leukemia earlier that week. This is what caused the visit on Friday. Apparently he had already planned on heading there and casually told me about it so that I thought it was a last minute thing. His brother and wife are not that well off. The wife is a stay at home mom, and his brother struggles to bring in 50k a year. They have 4 kids total, and this cancer diagnosis shook their world. My brother in law asked my husband if there was any way we could help them financially with the costs associated with treatment (chemo, etc.). I had no idea about any of this until Saturday.
I had mentioned in my previous post that this outburst was very uncommon for my husband. He had never had any issues with how I spent my extra money and so I thought it was odd that he suddenly started to criticize my spending on facials and spa days out of the blue. He said that he had attempted to tell me that perhaps I should not be spending that much money on those things, so that we would be able to use that extra money to help out his niece. He saw that I suddenly got defensive about the money, became upset because in his mind he could not believe that I would spend $300/month on spa days when his niece needs money for chemo. Again, I was not aware of the chemo issue at all up to that point.
I guess my defensiveness took him off guard and he was already emotionally upset from hearing about his niece that he snapped. Once he got to his brother's house, he cooled down and phoned me the next day.
He should be home soon, and we will be discussing the finances so that we can help out his niece. His point about how he doesn't see a need to spend his entire personal care budget (of $300) was so that he wanted to show me that I could still have fun without overspending (like having at home spa days).
TL;DR: husband admitted that his outburst was fueled by his niece's cancer diagnosis and her family's lack of money.
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May 10, 2017 15:56
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- Bubblyblubber
- Nov 17, 2014
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And this one just parks in "Yeah, men are bad I guess" forever
I [25F] have been long distance with my boyfriend [25M] for three months because he was temporarily sent away on a work project. It turns out, he misled me when he said "temporarily" and actually won't be coming back. Relationships
quote:
submitted 1 year ago by longdistancedeceptio
I had been dating Lawrence for four months when he told me he was being sent away for work. He works as a project manager and had to move across the country to help with a new development.
I really enjoyed being with Lawrence and was sad that he was moving away. But I made it clear that I did not want to do long distance. It wasn't for me. I had tried it with other boyfriends in the past with little success.
"But it's only three months!" was what he said to me. We talked about it more in depth and he explained to me that he only had to be there for the initial launch and to help get things moving, and then they were sending him back after 3 months.
We talked more about the situation and I agreed to it. Three months was not bad at all, and it's not like I wanted to be with anybody else.
He was an incredibly caring and attentive long distance boyfriend. It was hard the way that all long distance relationships were hard, but he put in a LOT of effort to make things work. He even surprise visited me once a month.
Well, Reddit. It has been 3 months. And guess what? He's not coming back. He just told me that he actually sent away permanently. Not to help set up, but to run the whole development. It was a big promotion for him.
But he didn't want to let me go and he knew I was not willing to do long distance, so he basically lied. He figured that if I got a taste of what long distance with him was like, I would change my mind and want to stay with him.
He doesn't understand why I am furious. The big part of WHY I have been okay with doing long distance with him is BECAUSE I knew it was temporary. It's like he tried to trap me into a longer relationship.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to do long distance, even if he does visit me once a month. But I am especially angry that he doesn't understand why what he did was not okay. He basically stole three months from me.
He is coming back this weekend. I had a whole thing planned for it. I got us a nice hotel at a nearby beach and booked restaurant reservations. Except now his "return" is actually just another "visit"
tl;dr: I've been doing long distance with my boyfriend, who said he would only be gone for 3 months. Turns out he purposefully misled me and was sent away permanently for work. He's coming back this weekend and I am infuriated. What do I do?
quote:
tl;dr original: I've been doing long distance with my boyfriend, who said he would only be gone for 3 months. Turns out he purposefully misled me and was sent away permanently for work. He's coming back this weekend and I am infuriated. What do I do?
I'm literally shaking as I type this. So much has happened in the mere DAYS since I posted.
So, after reading and considering all your comments, I break up with him immediately. I honestly didn't even want to wait to do it in person because I was so angry, AND because I had decided to do the romantic beach trip with my best friend instead, so I wasn't going to wait for him to get there.
I explain very clearly why what he did was such an awful thing to do to a person. He apologies for lying to me for months. He's sad and hurt about what happens, tries to convince me to stay with him, all that poo poo, but I am firm and he eventually accepts it.
The next day he is in a Facebook relationship with somebody else. I check his Facebook and all of a sudden there are MONTHS of posts of him an this new girl visible to me, posts that he had clearly hidden from me that he made available to me now. They clearly have been together for the last two months. I freak out. I call and text him, nothing. I message him on Facebook, nothing. Radio silence. He's totally cut me out.
I am INFURIATED, and I message this new girl on Facebook. I don't want to waste my time with this, so I type up a long message explaining our relationship, including screenshots of our texts, pictures of us together, even photos of gifts/cards he has given me.
New girl responds (and this is an exact quote):
Yeah, he told me you would to this. Listen, from one woman to another, please consider getting some professional help. You can't keep doing this every time he enters a new relationship. It's unhealthy. Learn to move on. I am now blocking you. Please do not try to contact me again.
SO. Yeah. That's it. I'm in shock, I'm humiliated, I'm so angry. I'm leaving for the beach with my best friend this evening, which will be much, much needed.
tl;dr: Broke up with Lawrence. Next day, he is in a Facebook official relationship with a new girl that he has clearly been cheating on me with for months. I try to reach out and warn new girl and she basically responds with "yeah he already told me youre crazy, don't talk to me again"
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May 10, 2017 16:03
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- Clark Nova
- Jul 18, 2004
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Maybe, just maybe, it is possible to talk to your wife about donating some money to your relatives with cancer without throwing a toddler shitfit and abandoning her on the highway in the freezing Canadian winter.
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May 10, 2017 16:09
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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Any involvement at all with mma is a huge red flag. This includes watching it
for once the MMA guy isn't the nutjob in the story
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May 10, 2017 16:14
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- Yawgmoth
- Sep 10, 2003
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This post is cursed!
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And this one just parks in "Yeah, men are bad I guess" forever
I [25F] have been long distance with my boyfriend [25M] for three months because he was temporarily sent away on a work project. It turns out, he misled me when he said "temporarily" and actually won't be coming back. Relationships
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May 10, 2017 16:16
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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And this one just parks in "Yeah, men are bad I guess" forever
I [25F] have been long distance with my boyfriend [25M] for three months because he was temporarily sent away on a work project. It turns out, he misled me when he said "temporarily" and actually won't be coming back. Relationships
Ah this is the good poo poo, an unrepentantly vile person and someone who isnt willing to look at the red flags that are thrown to her face like "timestamps", together forever loving in hell.
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May 10, 2017 16:18
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- new phone who dis
- May 24, 2007
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by VideoGames
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Morbid Hound
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And this one just parks in "Yeah, men are bad I guess" forever
I [25F] have been long distance with my boyfriend [25M] for three months because he was temporarily sent away on a work project. It turns out, he misled me when he said "temporarily" and actually won't be coming back. Relationships
He's a bastard but I grudgingly respect his logistical skills.
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May 10, 2017 16:24
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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Counterpoint:
My [27F] sister [32F] laced a drink with meth and got me to drink it while I was 10 years sober.
quote:Tonight has been such a long night for me, so please bear with me through this post. I will try to keep it short and sweet. I am high, upset, and disappointed in myself.
When I was 12, my older sister introduced me to drugs. Barring heavy hitters like heroin and crack, I have probably used them or been offered them all. My biggest vice being meth. I loved this drug more than I loved myself. It was an almost everyday thing. I would smoke a ridiculous amount and then curse myself and apologize to my body when I was coming down. It was bad. I was bad.
Jump to me at 17 and I didn't want to do it anymore. I saw what it was doing to my sister, a far heavier user than myself. She would steal from me, from my mom. She would lie all the time. Her teeth were terrible and it made her into a person I didn't want to associate myself with. I HATED her with every fiber of my being and didn't want to end up like that.. so I got clean. Man, what a bitch of a process. I would not wish drug addiction on my worst enemy. It is hard to pick yourself up off that. Anyway, I got clean and my sister has been a user ever since we first started.
Fast forward to today. I'm 27, clean for 10 years, and I live with my sister and my mom. My sister lost custody of her kids about 2 years ago and barely got them back last November. I moved back amid some health problems that needed a little monitoring at the time, and my mom needing some help with the kids. My sister is not a great mom, but she will make sure they get fed and do their laundry and such but that kinda goes down the crapper with her episodes. My sister and I have a relationship. I wouldn't be her friend if I wasn't related to her but I do make it a point to be nice. Anyway, my mom will surprise drug test her sometimes and she will sabotage the test, not hit the pee minimum, etc.
Tonight was different though
My mom popped up at the house as a suprise around 11 pm. This threw everyone for a loop cause she was supposed to be gone for the week. The pee test comes out and my sister starts stressing the hell out, She's sweating, yelling that it's bullshit, all the typical things you do when you just got caught. She decides to pee, but wants me to watch her. This is crap because my sister knows I have a problem with stuff like this and don't want to have to stare at her crotch and hand while she "tries" to go pee for 5 minutes. Blah, blah, long story short, she is dirty. She says it's not her fault, that meth must have been in a drink she had earlier tonight at her friends and says shes been sober for 2 weeks. My mom doesn't buy it because my sister is a notorious liar. My sister goes on a rant about how I'm the favorite child and she doesn't treat us the same and my mom doesn't love her, etc. A bunch of bullshit basically but the gist was I was the golden child and could do no wrong which is just LOL worthy. She bases this off the fact that I pay my moms bills and handle her money for her so I get all the trust. ANYWAY IM GETTING OFF COURSE, SORRY, IM RAMBLING...
An hour passes and my sister tells me to taste this drink. I didn't think anything of it! She said it was alcohol and she made it like a bahama mama.. so I drink it LIKE A DUMBASS. STRAIGHT UP, WHY AM I A MORON? She was JUST talking about meth in drinks and was obviously mad at me for whatever reason. I drank it and she runs and tells my mom that I should be tested, that I'm dirty, that I should be treated like poo poo along with her since my mom "hates tweakers" and if I dont get treated like garbage it's obviously favoritism. She started yelling about how my 10 years of sobriety didn't mean poo poo just like her 2 weeks didn't. I just sat there, totally stunned, not saying a word. I had just defended her not even an hour ago saying that 2 weeks sobriety is a milestone for some people and then she went and did this to me. She stormed out of the house and then sent me texts about how she was sorry and asking if I was okay.. and I bought it.... for about 5 minutes til the next text came saying she hopes my mom treats me the same way as she does her since I'm dirty now. My mom doesn't even treat her badly, just wants her to get her life together for her kids. I don't understand her thinking at all.
Guys.. I really don't know how to feel. I feel incredibly.. something. Maybe lots of things. I would never get physical with my sister but the way she just poo poo all over me has me frustrated. I don't even know if what I'm feeling is anger though. She just straight up hosed me with no real remorse. I take partial blame because I drank it of my own free will, but I never expected to be high, typing a wordy post on reddit. What do I do? How am I supposed to forgive her? I know we don't have an AMAZING relationship.. but drat. What do I say to her? Do I say anything? I kinda texted her back saying that it was hurtful she would do that but I don't think that really covers it. She said me and her are the same now. All I said was "We are not the same" and that's it because I'm at a loss for words. I keep asking myself if my sobriety really does mean nothing now. I had YEARS and now I reset the clock because my sister is evil?
The absolute worst part about this whole thing is I now remember why I enjoyed this drug. And that makes me want to cry and it makes me wonder why my sister is the way she is. 
I just need some advice or words of wisdom or gently caress, i don't know. i need some support.
[TL;DR My sister tricked me into doing meth because she wanted someone at the bottom with her]
Thankfully all the comments are urging her to call the cops and get the sister's kids taken away, which seems best for everyone.
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May 10, 2017 16:27
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Counterpoint:
My [27F] sister [32F] laced a drink with meth and got me to drink it while I was 10 years sober.
Thankfully all the comments are urging her to call the cops and get the sister's kids taken away, which seems best for everyone.
Why do you live there jesus loving christ.
Also, sobriety follows food purity laws in that if you didnt think it would be contaminated, you arent impure for being decieved.
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May 10, 2017 16:31
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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If someone has to say "this isn't a sex thing" it's definitely, 100% a sex thing, I don't care if it's dom/sub or birdwatching, if they volunteer the statement "this isn't a sex thing" it is for them a sex thing.
I'm not a racist, but...
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May 10, 2017 16:34
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Its causing harm to her coworker who just wants the numbers to be right so she can go home and see her kid instead of babysitting the weird girl who moans gently when you tell her for the 12th loving time how to loving copy and loving paste values.
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May 10, 2017 16:37
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- DragQueenofAngmar
- Dec 29, 2009
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You shall not pass!
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C and P arent even close on the keyboard man
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May 10, 2017 16:37
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- Pvt.Scott
- Feb 16, 2007
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What God wants, God gets, God help us all
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C and P arent even close on the keyboard man
Autocorrect strikes again.
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May 10, 2017 16:40
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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Pretty sure the whole thing started with a car ride home speech of "THAT WAS BULLSHIT! If I'd known he was trained I would have used Tiger Crane Monkey strikes and knocked his rear end out. I just didn't want to embarrass the little guy."
nah you never seen the kind of trashy chick who tries to flex nuts by siccing her boyfriend on people like he's her pitbull
i.e. the exact people who date MMA guys
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May 10, 2017 16:42
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Yeah I don't know if "I was p stressed" is adequate justification for "I left you to possibly freeze to death"
Do that thing where he gets a pass if his record is clean and he doesn't have another incident. Also consider traffic school.
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May 10, 2017 16:43
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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Yeah I don't know if "I was p stressed" is adequate justification for "I left you to possibly freeze to death"
especially since, y'know, it's Canada, and I'm p sure they have that commie medicine what treats leukemia without costing as much as a nice house there
he's trying to embezzle cancer money for his coke habit
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May 10, 2017 16:44
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Jun 11, 2024 21:49
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May 10, 2017 15:40
