quote:

So my friend is dating this guy from the Middle East (1-2 months) and she says he really wants her to wear a hijab. While she respects his religion she really doesn't want to.
Do you have any suggestions?
tl;dr My friend is being forced to do something she doesn't want to do.

Nazzadan posted:

Just got in, refreshed the ol' reddit and found one that's short sweet and to the point
What should I [24 M] do if my friend's [22 F] boyfriend is trying to force her to wear a hijab?

quote:

This weekend we were at our place with guests and my sister and I was sitting right by the pool and we were talking. I was drinking a non-alcoholic beer. I was halfway through the bottle when my sister took the bottle from me to finish it.
For some reason, the grandmother thought that I just gave alcoholic beer to my sister so she came at us, slapped me right across the face in front of people, took the bottle from my sister and tried to take her away while saying that she shouldn't talk to me at all and that why "this guy" is still part of this family. Sister was trying to tell her that it's non-alcoholic and was trying to get free put the grandmother was holding her tightly. One thing led to another, grandmother slipped and went into the pool. My sister was going in with her as she was holding her hand but I reached out and held her so she stayed out.
She was alright, nothing serious happened apart from a little embarrassment. A couple of kids were there and they were laughing at her. I took my sister away into her room to end this whole thing. The party was over. Grandmother and people left.
She is my step-grandmother, but my sister's grandmother. She never really liked me. I was 4 when my mom married my step father and my sister came one year after that. During these whole years she always treated me like an outsider, and in the early years this caused some issues between her and my mom. As I grew up it became less of an issue but I always felt the disdain in her for me.
Coming back to what happened here, well, she's twisting things. She says we disrespected her which I can't see how that's possible. We were sitting minding our own business when she attacked me and started to take my sister away. My sister resisted and her slipping into the pool was an accident. If anything she owes us an apology, well, she expects apologies from us.
Sadly our parents saw none of it and other people weren't paying any attention until she was in the water. She says we purposefully pushed her into the water and "maybe" we were drunk.
What should my sister and I do? She doesn't want to apologize and she insists that she did nothing wrong.
tl;dr: step grandmother attacked me because she thought I gave alcohol to my sister. Tried to take her away, she resisted and eventually grandmother slipped into then pool and was laughed at by the kids. Now she expects us to apologize to her.

Nazzadan posted:

Step-grandmother [70F] attacked me [21M] because she thought I gave beer to my sister [16F]. Things got out of control and she slipped into the pool. Now we're expected to apologize.


lmao at this old shitbird that doesn't like someone that she has been around since he was 4 years old in a familial capacity and is the older sibling to her blood grandchild.

blarzgh posted:

If you don't believe in that sort of thing, then stories about it won't change your mind. I actually don't generally believe other people's ghost stories. It's more like just a real nutty experience in my otherwise normal life.

new phone who dis posted:

Tell her you're sorry that everyone will be so much happier when she's dead.

Pick posted:

quote:

I've been living with my girlfriend now for nearly a year, I've known from the beginning of the relationship (2 years) that she had a 'personal slave'. Basically this guy does everything for her, she's in control of his paycheck, he runs errands for her, anything she asks. I've not had an issue with it as I've rarely come into contact with him. Anyway, at the start of this month she announced he was moving in, we talked and she really wanted this so I said let's test the water. He has now been living here for 2 weeks today, he does everything around the house, is "on call 24/7" and he sleeps on the floor (this is his choice). Personally I've been avoiding him as much as possible as I don't really know how to act, it's my home and I'm starting to feel guilty about the whole thing even though it is my girlfriend who is 100% in charge. She told me to do the same as her, basically shout orders at him and have him do whatever I want. Yeah, I've tried it a few times, like get me a drink and it's just not for me.
Fast forward this morning and I'm a late riser since I work from home, I catch him licking her shoes, there's actual dirt on them. I was seriously creeped out but my girlfriend confirmed he likes it.
I really don't know what to do, do you think I should run with the programme as I'm fairly open minded or do you think this guy is genuinely being taken advantage of? He hands her 3 grand a month and she gives him a hundred a week. Pretty nice financially as I'm not paying any rent, she's covering it all from this.
**tl;dr: Girlfriend has moved in her personal slave; I'm feeling guilty

quote:

Firstly thanks for all great advice and to those who helped me get my head around this concept. Yesterday the slave got home around 5pm, I left him to this devices and didn't interact. My girlfriend got in around 6:30pm and straight away was ordering him around. She asked me to have him do something, so I got him to change my printers ink.
I spoke with her when we went to bed, just to clarify as some have asked, this guy sleeps on the kitchen floor not in our room. Anyway, I started off by asking if she was sure he was mentally stable, she said yes and nothing else. My main concern is this guys mental wellbeing. She told me he has family but she is in control of whether he can contact them or not. I knew even if he wasn't mentally stable she wouldn't tell me at this point. I asked what exactly she wants me to do to him, she said to treat him like a slave, to have him do everything for me as he does for her. I said I didn't want a guy licking my shoes clean. Anyway she was getting pissed off by this point and we went to sleep. I got up early today so I could catch the slave before he left for work, she leaves a good half an hour before him so we had some time to talk. I asked him straight if he was genuinely fine with this. His response was something I wasn't expecting. Now before I get in to this I want to reiterate I was until yesterday very ignorant on the whole topic.
He isn't happy, it turns out she has had him under her spell for 6 years. I had no idea they'd known each other this long, she'd told she had only known him a short while before he hooked up. Anyway, the guy is mentally hosed, she's actually destroyed this man. He is into this stuff but somehow manipulated him over the years to becoming her total slave. I asked him why he hasn't ever told anyone and the guy is terrified of her. I'm guessing he is spilling his guts out to me as he's seen how I'm not in to it all and probably realises I'm freaked out by the whole thing. He begged me not to say anything to her. I reassured him and let him know that'll I'll help him out of this loving madness. I'm total shock right now and I don't quite know what to do. This is a lot to take in. I tried to get him to skip work today but it turns out she checks in on him at work through the FindMe app on the iPhone.
I've worked out how much rent he's contributed to this place and I owe the dude 12,000. I've got no problem handing that to him this very minute. Help him leave and get a place and keep her away from him.
What else should I do? I'm still in shock I can't imagine what this mans been put through.
tl;dr: Girlfriends "live in slave" is being forced to do it

Nazzadan posted:

Me [24 M] lives with my girlfriend [27 F] who has moved in a live in 'slave' [30 M], I'm in two minds




edit: update

Pick posted:

not shocking at all

Nazzadan posted:

Step-grandmother [70F] attacked me [21M] because she thought I gave beer to my sister [16F]. Things got out of control and she slipped into the pool. Now we're expected to apologize.


lmao at this old shitbird that doesn't like someone that she has been around since he was 4 years old in a familial capacity and is the older sibling to her blood grandchild.

Three Olives posted:

Don't kink shame.

Nazzadan posted:

Me [24 M] lives with my girlfriend [27 F] who has moved in a live in 'slave' [30 M], I'm in two minds




edit: update

Panfilo posted:

What about your friend-internship with Hugh?

new phone who dis posted:

Gonna need more updates. Maybe slave dude and the OP can move out and be bros.

MF_James posted:

I was thinking this. I see ZERO loving reason for this guy to stay with his gf considering how he feels about what she was doing.

quote:

My sister and I are about 4 years apart. She's my older sister I thought she was the coolest person ever, until I was about high school age, and then I realized she was a very strange person.

I remember her loss of virginity story, which she thought made her super cool. She lost it to some 30 year old man who had started teaching our youth group at the church my grandpa preaches at. As far as I know, no one else knows about this.
When my sister turned 18 she immediately moved 8 hours away from her whole family to live with a guy she knew in high school. My parents tried to convince her not to for obvious reasons. She had always done very well in school, getting great grades, participating in extracurriculars, and had a great future laid out for her, if she wanted to pursue it. But she wants to go live with her long distant boyfriend of a few months, in a town with no colleges, away from all family, and all financial support.
They eventually moved back to our area and got married. I wanna say she was 19.

They immediately try for babies. My sister is obsessed with it, even putting her ovulation schedule on MySpace (Yes MySpace), which was so much oversharing, but my sister had always been an odd ball. Something was wrong. She never told me what but it could have been due to the stress she was putting on it because she HAD to have a baby.
They move across the country and do have their first kid shortly after. Continue trying for the second cause they need all the babies. They have another kid before finally moving back to our area, once again, after falling on hard times.
My sister and I haven't communicated a lot while she's been gone aside from wishing each other happy birthday and merry Christmas on Facebook.
She reaches out to me and as I said we really aren't close so I try to be a good sister. She tells me she's not living with her husband or the kids right now and I immediately ask why not.
We meet up for lunch where she tells me, while living across the country, she had been having an online affair with someone. This guy was into child pornography and asked her to do things with her children, which she did. I really don't want to go into the details because thinking about it makes me sick.

She told a therapist and was arrested for a short time and is now doing mandated therapy and therapy groups and is not allowed to see her children without a supervisor, which is why she can no longer live under the same roof as her children. Throughout this whole conversation she never takes blame for her actions, but plays the victim, as if all this is something she couldn't help.
Here's the kicker. She's met someone in her group session that she's now having an affair with. Of course she doesn't tell me all the details on him. Later I find out that he's 50 and has gone to jail for forcing a group of 11 year olds, one of them is his daughters, to watch child pornography while he fondled one of them. And this is the man she's risking losing her family for. The children she HAD to have and the husband she left her family broken hearted for.

I try to convince her that this guy is not worth leaving her family for, but since then she has left her husband. Their divorce is already finalized and she is now living with our mother and dating this pedophile.
Through all of this her husband has been ridiculously understanding and allowing her to see the children frequently. He still brings the children to our family gatherings and tries to keep us involved in the children's lives. He's been amazing to her and just goes to show what she's given up on. But she just doesn't see that.

So for mother's day my dad is having a bbq at his house. Husband will be coming with the children. I haven't spoken to my sister since Christmas because I'm just so angry at her for abandoning her children for a pedophile. Husband has asked me if I'll act as supervisor to drop off the kids afterwards because he can't stay long. I just can't imagine spending over an hour with her in the car all by myself without blowing up on her. I don't know what I'm asking advice on....maybe just being ok with her actions but I don't know how I could even ask that of myself. I really don't know.

I know this is really long I just wanted to give details on what I believe led up to her making these decisions and kinda organizing it in text for myself.

TLDR; sister performs sexual acts with her children; shows no remorse for her actions; leaves family for pedophile and I don't know how to be around her anymore.

Universe Master posted:

If he didn't leave when she first said "I have a slave" like he should have, no reason to do it now.

Nazzadan posted:

Me [24 M] lives with my girlfriend [27 F] who has moved in a live in 'slave' [30 M], I'm in two minds




edit: update

new phone who dis posted:

Gonna need more updates. Maybe slave dude and the OP can move out and be bros.

quote:

[UPDATE] Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [27 F] who has moved in a live in 'slave' [30 M], I'm in two minds by GFhasa in relationships
[–]GFhasa[S] 146 points 1 year ago
I see it as my responsibility to help this man get his life back. He has family, so that's something. I don't know how tonight will play out, and honestly I'm scared of her right now. You've got to bit one twisted individual to pull the wool over someone's eyes (mine) about the whole situation not to mention actually doing this to the poor man.
I'm going to call my sister (she's a social worker), I need backup on this as I don't know what kind of crazy shut she's going to pull. I feel having a female their would be better.
permalinksavecontextfull comments (523)give gold
[UPDATE] Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [27 F] who has moved in a live in 'slave' [30 M], I'm in two minds by GFhasa in relationships
[–]GFhasa[S] 217 points 1 year ago
No you're right. It's just emotion speaking at the moment. I'm loving outraged but yeah I need to stay 100% legal.
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[UPDATE] Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [27 F] who has moved in a live in 'slave' [30 M], I'm in two minds by GFhasa in relationships
[–]GFhasa[S] 35 points 1 year ago
They never dated it was one of the first things I asked. The guys at work now and I don't know how tonight will play. I'm not even sure I'm going to bring it up tonight.
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[UPDATE] Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [27 F] who has moved in a live in 'slave' [30 M], I'm in two minds by GFhasa in relationships
[–]GFhasa[S] 429 points 1 year ago
Yeah I'm not going to just hand it to him. It's there for him to get his life back. So he can get a place and just be normal, I've cried for the first time in 10 years. I feel repulsed and very guilty.
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[UPDATE] Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [27 F] who has moved in a live in 'slave' [30 M], I'm in two minds by GFhasa in relationships
[–]GFhasa[S] 166 points 1 year ago
You need to get you're head around the fact that she's over the past 6 years manipulated him. She's in complete control.
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[UPDATE] Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [27 F] who has moved in a live in 'slave' [30 M], I'm in two minds by GFhasa in relationships
[–]GFhasa[S] 1109 points 1 year ago
Yeah the relationships over. My names on the tenancy not hers so I'm considering asking her leave and letting this guy stay until he's sorted. I don't know if that's a good idea though, for someone to put someone through this clearly means they're unstable. If she knows where he is what will she do?!
As for money, I'll be giving him the 12k. I can't see him ever getting what she's taken from him back. To be honest I'm tempted to get the locks changed on this place and sell all her poo poo. And give the funds to him.
I have considered contacting the Police, but he needs to be part of this process. I don't know the legalities of it but surely she's done something illegal

Ludicro posted:

I (27F) am really uncomfortable around my sister (30F) now

Panfilo posted:

What about your friend-internship with Hugh?

Gloryhold It! posted:

No, no it wouldn't

Three Olives posted:

It would be pretty cool to have a slave, you have to admit that.

quote:

Hello everyone. I feel trapped and ashamed and can't really discuss this with my friends or family so hopefully you guys can give me some clarity. I have been dating a guy "Kane" for 1 year. We met at a concert and immediately hit it off. He is white from Denmark but has lived in America for about 10 years and I am African American. You will see why this is relevant in a second.

I lost my job about three months into us dating and ended up moving in with him and he essentially takes care of everything and is happy to do so. He suggested I go back to school to finish my Masters (I had to drop out of my MA program a few years ago because of money issues) on his dime which I eagerly accepted and now I am only two semesters (summer and fall) away from finishing my program.

The problem is that when we started having sex, he told me he liked submissive women which is fine because I am very submissive in bed. However, the third time we had sex, he started using racial slurs against me like "n***er bitch" and "coon whore" and saying things like "if only your worthless slave ancestors could see you being degraded by a superior white man now", etc. I told him that I wasn't comfortable with him saying those things and he told me it was only raceplay which is a form of BDSM and I shouldn't take it seriously because he isn't a racist.

Outside of the bedroom he is a really nice guy and we do a lot of stuff together but when it comes to sex, he says
the only way he can get off is to use racial slurs against me because that's what turns him on. He will also take pictures of black girls that he sees walking down the street or at the mall and caption them with things like "how does this n***er whore look?" and other vile things.
I have looked into Raceplay BDSM and saw it was a real thing but I just can't get comfortable with it and whenever I bring it up he ignores me and tells me I am overreacting and that he can't possibly be a racist since he's in love with a black woman.

It has started progressing outside of the bedroom now and he will text me or call me during the day when he's at work and ask me things like "how is my sexy ni**er bitch today?". Honestly I have heard the N-word more from him in the past year than I have in my whole 32 yrs of life.

I am conflicted because I do like him a lot but I am not comfortable with this raceplay aspect of our relationship because it is very one sided and I was never consulted to even check if I was ok with it! Sometimes I think I can deal with it because I am 32 and the clock is ticking but then again, I feel like I am being a race traitor by letting this man racially degrade me when we are intimate. I am just really confused. Part of me wants to wait to finish my Masters then leave him but I am not sure if he might try and sue me or something. Advice?

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My boyfriend (45M) uses racial slurs during sex with me (32F) and I'm not sure what to do about it.